Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies focus on how other people should treat you respectfully, regardless of how slovenly your appearance (and for the record I agree).

However, very few will engage with the idea that by dressing like an absolute slob (not even being bothered to find the middle ground between slovenly and dressed to the nines), the slob is the one treating others disrespectfully.

“I want to dress however I want regardless of occasion AND I want to dictate how others should feel or not feel about that, and how they should react to me.”

I, I, I, me, me, me. This is the world we live in, folks.

Why do people keep saying this?
Wearing sweatpants is not disrespectful to you, periodt.

I think it might be disrespectful in a) certain restaurants (if the owner is busting his butt trying to maintain a certain vibe), b) churches you visit as a tourist c) weddings. Maybe there are others.

My point in saying this is that I do agree that people shouldn’t feel entitled to wear anything wherever they want. But they need to chill the f out about the grocery store and the pick-up line, not to mention one’s own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the pajama wearers putting on fresh pj pants in the morning or just rolling out of bed? Do they shower at night?

I’ve seen women at the grocery store that look like they literally just rolled out of bed and came to the store. And this is for afternoon grocery runs. Hair scarfs, pajama bottoms and slippers. I think this looks so trashy and low class. I cannot imagine that they bothered to take a shower and still come to the store dressed like that.

OMG someone showed up at the grocery store without full make-up and heels. Maybe that low class person just nursed a baby all night or is taking care of a terminally ill parent and they needed to run out for a quick errand. You just don’t know anyone else’s situation. What’s really trashy and low class is commenting on other people who you know nothing about. My mother is like this but then she is a complete idiot. She likes Trump’s kids because they are so “good-looking and well-groomed”. Appearance is not more important than character.

No one has to go out with dirty clothes and dirty hair. Take some pride in how you look!

Yes, sometimes they do! Sometimes they need to pick-up a prescription or a gallon of milk not walk the red carpet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies focus on how other people should treat you respectfully, regardless of how slovenly your appearance (and for the record I agree).

However, very few will engage with the idea that by dressing like an absolute slob (not even being bothered to find the middle ground between slovenly and dressed to the nines), the slob is the one treating others disrespectfully.

“I want to dress however I want regardless of occasion AND I want to dictate how others should feel or not feel about that, and how they should react to me.”

I, I, I, me, me, me. This is the world we live in, folks.

Are you the person who thinks it’s disrespectful to others to go out in public without earrings on?

No. I am more of an “in the middle” type. You don’t have to look fashionable or attractive, but at least look like you can be bothered to put in the tiniest amount of effort. (Example: wear actual clothes instead of pajamas)

Kids started that craze. Of all the ways teens can rebel, this one is pretty harmless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies focus on how other people should treat you respectfully, regardless of how slovenly your appearance (and for the record I agree).

However, very few will engage with the idea that by dressing like an absolute slob (not even being bothered to find the middle ground between slovenly and dressed to the nines), the slob is the one treating others disrespectfully.

“I want to dress however I want regardless of occasion AND I want to dictate how others should feel or not feel about that, and how they should react to me.”

I, I, I, me, me, me. This is the world we live in, folks.

Are you the person who thinks it’s disrespectful to others to go out in public without earrings on?

No. I am more of an “in the middle” type. You don’t have to look fashionable or attractive, but at least look like you can be bothered to put in the tiniest amount of effort. (Example: wear actual clothes instead of pajamas)

Kids started that craze. Of all the ways teens can rebel, this one is pretty harmless.

I mean, it’s one thing if teens do it. It’s another when their parents do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these replies focus on how other people should treat you respectfully, regardless of how slovenly your appearance (and for the record I agree).

However, very few will engage with the idea that by dressing like an absolute slob (not even being bothered to find the middle ground between slovenly and dressed to the nines), the slob is the one treating others disrespectfully.

“I want to dress however I want regardless of occasion AND I want to dictate how others should feel or not feel about that, and how they should react to me.”

I, I, I, me, me, me. This is the world we live in, folks.

Why do people keep saying this?
Wearing sweatpants is not disrespectful to you, periodt.

I think it might be disrespectful in a) certain restaurants (if the owner is busting his butt trying to maintain a certain vibe), b) churches you visit as a tourist c) weddings. Maybe there are others.

My point in saying this is that I do agree that people shouldn’t feel entitled to wear anything wherever they want. But they need to chill the f out about the grocery store and the pick-up line, not to mention one’s own home.

Thank you. I do dress up when there is an actual dress code. But aside from basic coverage, Target doesn't have one.

Thoughts and prayers for the many people on here who don't seem to understand the difference between being clean (everyone, please do that) and being groomed (if you enjoy it, fine)

[Anonymous]

Well most people in America are obese so that’s your answer. If they really cared about their looks, they wouldn’t be pigging out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Yes. Society is dying for its lack of manicures.

You’re an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You live in the DMV. This is why.

This is part of it. It's a frumpy crowd who doesn't care much about looks. Hit up Miami or LA and you'll see a higher percentage of people who at least avoided wearing stained clothing out that day.

I moved to Greenwich, CT a few years ago and it's like a different world. People dress up to go to the post office here. Or their friend's house for tea. A constant fashion show in town. It took me a while to get used to but I actually love it.

LOL. It’s easy to look good when you are wealthy and can focus all of your energy on personal care. If I could outsource all cleaning, laundry, children, errands, grocery shopping, cooking and landscaping I’d look fantastic!

My poor, uneducated immigrant mom always found a way to dress well, so there goes that excuse….

I think you've found the answer. People without privilege think they need to look and dress a certain way to be treated the way they want to be treated. Those who don't doubt their status have what I like to call slob privilege. Your poor immigrant mother probably worried that someone was going to ignore her or not treat her kindly - she dressed well to try to avoid that happening. Same with the ridiculous class anxiety you see on this board all the time - what do I wear to the country club? what will the private school moms think of me if i wear this dress or that one? how does old money dress to go to the horse stall?

The people who are comfortable in their status in life, dress how they like - that might be fancy, it might be slobby, it might depend on the day. But they aren't worried about not being allowed on the airplane if they don't have on the right outfit.

Lol, back in the day people treated her unkindly as soon as she opened her mouth and spoke with a thick accent. It didn’t matter how she was dressed. She just likes looking nice and managed to do so with very limited means and a very busy schedule of cooking, cleaning, child rearing and working.

The funny thing is I was responding to a poster who said that only wealthy people were privileged and free enough to put an extra effort into looking nice.

So which is it? Privileged people look nice because they have the resources to afford it? Or people without privilege try to look nice to improve their status?

I think it’s neither. I think it’s goes back to being a respectful person who tries to put his or her best foot forward regardless of their social status or financial resources. It’s amazing the excuses that people will come up with to excuse their slovenliness. It really comes down to you don’t give a damn about what other people think because you don’t value their opinions or them = narcissism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Yes. Society is dying for its lack of manicures.

You’re an idiot.

No, you misunderstood the point. Have you ever heard the saying by Benjamin Franklin “if you want something done ask a busy person?” If you’re put together, you have time to do the little things like manicures. If you’re a disorganized mess, you don’t. If you can’t even manage to put on a pair of slacks instead of sweatpants or leggings, what else can’t you do?

[Anonymous]

As a man, I think makeup on a woman is very overrated. There is nothing worse than someone who has a face buried in makeup. Have confidence in your natural beauty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Yes. Society is dying for its lack of manicures.

You’re an idiot.

No, you misunderstood the point. Have you ever heard the saying by Benjamin Franklin “if you want something done ask a busy person?” If you’re put together, you have time to do the little things like manicures. If you’re a disorganized mess, you don’t. If you can’t even manage to put on a pair of slacks instead of sweatpants or leggings, what else can’t you do?

A family member stopped saying that when she had to adopt her late daughter's orphaned kids. She realized life can turn on a dime and people get overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I think makeup on a woman is very overrated. There is nothing worse than someone who has a face buried in makeup. Have confidence in your natural beauty.

+1. Thank you. Father didn't like makeup and neither does DH and DS. Natural beauty is underrated.

[Anonymous]

I wear my good leggings to the doctor’s office. Life is too short to spend more than a minute of my time painting or dressing myself for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Yes. Society is dying for its lack of manicures.

You’re an idiot.

No, you misunderstood the point. Have you ever heard the saying by Benjamin Franklin “if you want something done ask a busy person?” If you’re put together, you have time to do the little things like manicures. If you’re a disorganized mess, you don’t. If you can’t even manage to put on a pair of slacks instead of sweatpants or leggings, what else can’t you do?

A family member stopped saying that when she had to adopt her late daughter's orphaned kids. She realized life can turn on a dime and people get overwhelmed.

I see. So all the sloppy 20 somethings I see out and about are caring for their orphaned relatives. Wow! And there I thought it was a video game/weed addiction/supreme laziness. Thanks for setting me straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well most people in America are obese so that’s your answer. If they really cared about their looks, they wouldn’t be pigging out.

Here come the fat shamers with no understanding of anything about obesity.