Reply to Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We all gain / lose / carry weight in different ways.  Our relationships to bring embodied vary.  I grew up in a family of disordered eating and because of nurture and nature (?) have gained a lot of weight during two major difficult times in my life - late teens and my 40s.  About 70-80 # each time.  And then I lost it when my mental / emotional states changed and I was able to change circumstances around me.  In my 40s, I am sure my now XH wasn’t “happy” with my weight gain - but I can see now that weight gain was due to lifestyle shifts (pregnancies, desk job, not enough time for myself), and mostly due to my unhappiness in the marriage.  My literal protective barrier.  Safety blanket.  I do feel like “I let myself go” in that I truly lost my sense of self in the marriage and in that relationship.  But I have no shame about my body fluctuation - just compassion for how hard it was on me overall and that my coping mechanism was still to be hard on myself and body.

So - ironically re: the OP and others - your spouses weight gain may be a reflection of how they are truly feeling about you and your relationship.

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+1. So much of weight gain is emotional and psychological.  My ex was really awful to me and I gained 50 lbs. I lost the weight after we divorced. Being away from the stress of a bad marriage completely changed my outlook on life and myself.

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