Husband stopping at random dive bars for one beer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a good sign. He could be trawling.

Maybe I’m a clueless but I really doubt there are women at these bars? And he is only there for 10 or 15 minutes. He isn’t hiding this.

How do you now how long he's there?

OP's post 8/10 17:23.

Read before you type.

I did. How does she know how long he's there?

Without reading 15 pages, my guess is that she knows roughly when he normally gets home. I am not normally tracking my spouse, but if it’s 30 min past the usual time, I would probably check my watch and text him to see if he is staying late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who have a problem with this and who are already suspicious of their spouse potentially being a closet alcoholic or misdirecting for an AP are on the road to divorce. Whether you are right or wrong, the lack of trust in your partner is going to kill your marriage one way or the other. Either you will be right and the hidden issue will end the marriage or the lack of trust and your overcontrolling nature will drive your partner away.

I'm sorry, but once you get to the point where you have either killed or lost the trust in your marriage, it's only a matter of time until the wedge between you destroys your marriage.

I totally trust my parter. Op's? Not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nextdoor neighbor growing up did this and it was totally innocent. I worked as a hostess at the sports bar / pub in my hometown a few summers.

He had a stressful job and he’d come in every day for 30 min and drink one Miller Lite, watch ESPN, and chat with the other regular old dudes before going home to a house with 4 kids.

This is the situation I'm picturing and it seems totally fine with me.

This was so common place in my hometown. In fact, a lot of the dads would go in person to order the pizza and then have a beer while they waited. Sometimes the pizza would be a little cold and they would get in trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a 3rd place? I think I missed all that

Not your home, not your office, but somewhere you frequent.

The British and Irish have pubs, Germans Bierhalls, Dutch have cafes, French, Spanish, Italians, Greeks have bistros, tavernas, etc.


Americans have church.

But do we?

Coffee shops are a great example of the third place. Americans really need to figure out how to just go relax.

This is why some people (myself included) become obsessed with places like CrossFit, or OTF, or BootCamps.

It's not just the high of exercise. It's a a different group of people and a different activity than your work colleagues,your neighbhors and your famly

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine questioning my husbands judgement in this manner. I trust him wholeheartedly. And, I am not his mother. He’s a big boy and if he feels like a beer, go for it. If the trust is ever broken, I’ll know because I know my man as he knows me. Leave your husband alone! Wtf is wrong with you women?????

[Anonymous]

I stop for cocktails after work and meetings by myself too and I am a wife! Sometimes I just want an adult moment to myself without having to discuss the sh t out of my day. This is what grown ups do if they choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine questioning my husbands judgement in this manner. I trust him wholeheartedly. And, I am not his mother. He’s a big boy and if he feels like a beer, go for it. If the trust is ever broken, I’ll know because I know my man as he knows me. Leave your husband alone! Wtf is wrong with you women?????

Oh honey. You are going to be one of those cool girls that is totally and utterly blind-sided.

This dude is going to random bars all around town and it was all a secret. It's very strange behavior for a married man with kids. He's a functioning alcoholic or he's got a secret life meeting other men/women.

"I’ll know because I know my man as he knows me." Famous last words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine questioning my husbands judgement in this manner. I trust him wholeheartedly. And, I am not his mother. He’s a big boy and if he feels like a beer, go for it. If the trust is ever broken, I’ll know because I know my man as he knows me. Leave your husband alone! Wtf is wrong with you women?????

Oh honey. You are going to be one of those cool girls that is totally and utterly blind-sided.

This dude is going to random bars all around town and it was all a secret. It's very strange behavior for a married man with kids. He's a functioning alcoholic or he's got a secret life meeting other men/women.

"I’ll know because I know my man as he knows me." Famous last words.

There aren’t any women hanging out in dive bars at 5pm. It’s working class guys and alcoholic pensioners. Maybe yuppy bars in DC and Arlington have women boozing but not random roadside dive bars outside of the Beltway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes - same as grabbing a coffee and decompressing at a bench at the park.

The big difference is the danger of alcholism.

Coffee addiction isn't explicitly hamrful to others.

Give it a rest FFS. One beer and he’s an alcoholic? YAWN.