How do people afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

You have to be about the scariest person on here. Are you madly googling everyone's financials?
Do yo have access to some development software?
Seriously---this is insane.

My guess is the person knows what people do. I live outside of NYC and the vast majority of people at my kids’ private school work in big law or in PE or at hedge funds. There is a ton of generational wealth, so grandparents probably do contribute to kids’ educational costs - but it’s not like many families need it. And you find out what people do through all of the crazy school activities. There are a ton of social events.

But, again, it requires some serious stalking to figure out what all the parents in your kid’s class do for a living. Other than some (and not even all) of the parents of my kid’s actual friends, I have no idea. It’s not like I’m searching out their Linked in profiles.

If parents are actually going to great lengths to figure out what their kid’s classmates’ parents do for a living that’s a huge knock against private schools. Who wants to be in an environment with parents like that? Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

You have to be about the scariest person on here. Are you madly googling everyone's financials?
Do yo have access to some development software?
Seriously---this is insane.

My guess is the person knows what people do. I live outside of NYC and the vast majority of people at my kids’ private school work in big law or in PE or at hedge funds. There is a ton of generational wealth, so grandparents probably do contribute to kids’ educational costs - but it’s not like many families need it. And you find out what people do through all of the crazy school activities. There are a ton of social events.

yes, i have kids at the Cathedral schools. We have an about a million social events and I know many parents. However, I have no idea what every last one does or what their income and net worth are.

Pp. I don’t know what everyone’s NW is but you can pick up on a lot. If someone has a nanny per child (somewhat common around here) or if they live in a particular area or if they mention they belong to a local country club I know they are very wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

You have to be about the scariest person on here. Are you madly googling everyone's financials?
Do yo have access to some development software?
Seriously---this is insane.

My guess is the person knows what people do. I live outside of NYC and the vast majority of people at my kids’ private school work in big law or in PE or at hedge funds. There is a ton of generational wealth, so grandparents probably do contribute to kids’ educational costs - but it’s not like many families need it. And you find out what people do through all of the crazy school activities. There are a ton of social events.

yes, i have kids at the Cathedral schools. We have an about a million social events and I know many parents. However, I have no idea what every last one does or what their income and net worth are.

Pp. I don’t know what everyone’s NW is but you can pick up on a lot. If someone has a nanny per child (somewhat common around here) or if they live in a particular area or if they mention they belong to a local country club I know they are very wealthy.

Or you might just be seeing that they are living beyond their means.

[Anonymous]

Some families AREN'T affording it. They are stretching and not saving for retirement and college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some families AREN'T affording it. They are stretching and not saving for retirement and college.

This. Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some families AREN'T affording it. They are stretching and not saving for retirement and college.

All of these things are luxuries, and different families make varying choices about what to prioritize.

[Anonymous]

Most families that are at privates (not Catholic) easily afford it. As a PP said many are Biglaw or other similar. The expense is mostly not a hardship. I actually do not know why anyone else would do it. Cost is just too high.

[Anonymous]

Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

[Anonymous]

just stop the daily starbucks and you will be fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$285 HHI = after 401(k), FSA and stock purchases, medical insurance for family = appx $14k/month net on dual income.

Get ready for me to prove that it's not this crazy insane amount of money you think it is..

Debits monthly -
Kid 1 soccer (personal training sessions + club fees) and piano lessons = appx $5-600 on average over 12 months
Kid 2 piano lessons+ dyslexia tutoring/ADHD support = appx $900 on avg over 12 months
Kids tuition (with FA) at private MS = $3k (without it was $6500!)
Mortgage (we were lucky to get a great rate) = $2120
Housecleaner = $400
Property Tax = $1300
Utilities (gas/electric/H20/cell - no cable just wireless) = $500 or so
We have just the 1 car payment = $600
Dining out/groceries/gas/misc/savings for summer camps/vacations = $3k-3500

Add this up and it's very close to the $14k we make, net. This is not inclusive of any federal and state taxes annually nor savings that we would not really be using to fund things for kids - I would like you to tell me that we are really that super extravagant??

So YES - $300k HHI or so to live around DMV is not this huge bag of money. Unless you have no kids or your kids do nothing and you don't go on any vacations and you are always exhausted cooking and cleaning, maybe you have more - but it's not like we're just shopping every day

It is a huge amount of money you earn and your issue is lifestyle choices. You get rid of the house cleaner and extras.

10000%

[Anonymous]

Maxing out 401(k)s and 529s, while often prudent, is also a choice. The majority of people don't have that luxury available to them in the budget. Home ownership is also a luxury that many families don't have. And yet some DCUMers would have us think that they are necessary or entitlements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maxing out 401(k)s and 529s, while often prudent, is also a choice. The majority of people don't have that luxury available to them in the budget. Home ownership is also a luxury that many families don't have. And yet some DCUMers would have us think that they are necessary or entitlements.

At their salary they can still do all of those- contribute some to 401 and 529 and own a home. It just doesn't have to be a million dollar SFH. Problem is people get greedy and want everything and think they should be able to have everything- and then the schools- and other families who are full pay and do sacrifice for their children are left to foot the bill for these leeches when they hold out their hand to get financial aid to cover their private school expenses while driving expensive cars and living in a massive home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.