How do people afford it?

[Anonymous]

*mortgage*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are similar. We don't afford it. Private school in this area is for rich people.

So is a house in a good school district.

Right?! HHI $225k, paying $35k for school, live in a house that cost $350k. Any house in a great school district costs $750k at least. Yes, it would be an investment, but a) if the excellent public school doesn’t work out for your kid, you are trapped because all of your money is in your house and b) what do you do in college rolls around? We can’t save much, but we are already used to cash flowing 35K. If all our money were in a house in a great school district, we wouldn’t have the option to switch that money to college.

My kid is also getting the kind of education I always dreamed of for my child, so it definitely feels worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools are not worth it. Don't buy in - your kids can get a completely fine education and get into great colleges from any public school. It's about the kid. The school does not matter. Teachers at private schools are just as bad and good as at public schools. Private schools in this area are so overpriced. I wish I had not sent mine to these ridiculously overpriced schools that were nothing special. Maybe they were a bit cleaner and had better facilities and smaller class sizes - but that's it. Definitely not worth the 50K/yr plus all the dumb donations and other costs of attendance.

+1000

Signed, private school parent

i

Depends on your school district
Signed, Baltimore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools are not worth it. Don't buy in - your kids can get a completely fine education and get into great colleges from any public school. It's about the kid. The school does not matter. Teachers at private schools are just as bad and good as at public schools. Private schools in this area are so overpriced. I wish I had not sent mine to these ridiculously overpriced schools that were nothing special. Maybe they were a bit cleaner and had better facilities and smaller class sizes - but that's it. Definitely not worth the 50K/yr plus all the dumb donations and other costs of attendance.

+1000

Signed, private school parent

i

Depends on your school district
Signed, Baltimore

So true. Worth every penny. But at least our schools are a bit cheaper!
Co-signed,
Also Baltimore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

Not embarrassed in the least. The parents told us that they didn’t want their money just sitting there when it could be put to good use. They paid for every tuition, every summer program, every activity. They put money in an irrevocable trust every year so all we had to do is send the bill to the trustee (a lawyer) and he would send the money to the institution. About $80,000 each of them every year. If they hadn’t done it, fine, the kids would get by with less. But they wanted to. They retired early and we had a great relationship with both sides. No embarrassment at all. It’s family and we take care of each other in different ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

Grandparents paying school tuition is a way to transfer future inheritance earlier. Plenty of people who can afford private still have grandparents paying. Nothing to be embarrassed of.

I grew up poor...went to scrappy commuter college and law school. Same for my DH. We are rich now. Rest assured I wanted a better life for my kids and grandkids.I will gladly pay their private school tuitions. I bet the holier than thou posters deriding private never went to an urban public in the hood like I did.

THIS. If I’m able I’ll gladly pay my grandkids tuition one day!

+2. There’s no better use of it imo. And a lot of you have this strange idealization with exposing your kids to lower ses or poverty while those of us who actually lived it would do anything to avoid it for our kids. There are better ways to expose kids to hard work and struggle than making them endure a difficult school environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

Grandparents paying school tuition is a way to transfer future inheritance earlier. Plenty of people who can afford private still have grandparents paying. Nothing to be embarrassed of.

I grew up poor...went to scrappy commuter college and law school. Same for my DH. We are rich now. Rest assured I wanted a better life for my kids and grandkids.I will gladly pay their private school tuitions. I bet the holier than thou posters deriding private never went to an urban public in the hood like I did.

THIS. If I’m able I’ll gladly pay my grandkids tuition one day!

I’m the grandparent who could pay but won’t. I didn’t grow up rich or going to fancy schools either. Trust me. I just think 9/10 of this is parenting. You don’t have to spend all that money to get a good education, and there’s nothing wrong with meeting a disadvantaged classmate every once in a while - and, God forbid, maybe even making friends with some!

From one who has been there done that tried that…you sound like you think it works like it does in the movies. IRL, it does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

Grandparents paying school tuition is a way to transfer future inheritance earlier. Plenty of people who can afford private still have grandparents paying. Nothing to be embarrassed of.

I grew up poor...went to scrappy commuter college and law school. Same for my DH. We are rich now. Rest assured I wanted a better life for my kids and grandkids.I will gladly pay their private school tuitions. I bet the holier than thou posters deriding private never went to an urban public in the hood like I did.

THIS. If I’m able I’ll gladly pay my grandkids tuition one day!

I’m the grandparent who could pay but won’t. I didn’t grow up rich or going to fancy schools either. Trust me. I just think 9/10 of this is parenting. You don’t have to spend all that money to get a good education, and there’s nothing wrong with meeting a disadvantaged classmate every once in a while - and, God forbid, maybe even making friends with some!

From one who has been there done that tried that…you sound like you think it works like it does in the movies. IRL, it does not.

Yes, after my experience in bad public schools getting several of my teeth knocked out by an angry classmate while we were in class I have chosen to spend much of my discretionary income putting my kids in a different environment. I have no regrets about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously nothing is a guarantee- but if your kid is brilliant and really excels at what is considered an average public school - they can certainly still get into Ivy League schools. You don't need to pay for these overpriced privates if you can't afford it.

IF your kid is perfect - well adjusted socially, a self-starter who knows what they are with a strong sense of self and confidence, someone who does not have the slightest learning disability and is mature enough to navigate some public schools which are a mess - both environmentally, with bad crowds, with messed up kids and with high volume classes - then I 1000% agree with you that public is all you need. And we have a number of friends with kids like this. Mine aren't. They are sweet and sensitive, one has dyslexia and ADHD and they really would not be served well in public. So for you to judge me as a parent who loves my kids and want to give them the best I can for their life for the next 6 years left in their academic career prior to college, yeah, go ahead and judge. I just hope that one day something doesn't happen to your family where you don't need more help in some capacity.

PS - It's also akin in a less dramatic metaphor - when you go on holiday, you can stay at a nice hostel and be perfectly well housed. You may sleep in a crappy bed and kinda worry that you're not going to wake up to bedbugs and not be necessarily 100% comfortable but hey, you got a roof over your head while you are on your "nice" vacation. I personally would want to stay in a nicer place. So yeah, private school is maybe that nicer place where it'll cost more for sure but the right place will make my holiday worth it. But if you don't mind staying in the cheapest crappiest places, don't be angry I don't want to do the same!

Come on. Public schools in this area are not the “cheapest crappiest” places.

I agree with PP. It's the difference between government bought hamburger and a good USDA prime steak. Yes, they both have protein, but I'll take the steak please.

[Anonymous]

We did it. Started with two in private when we were on less than that income. But then my income rose over that time. Now just one left with 3 years to go and could easily pay for 4 children.

It is possible and it does make you work harder to earn a higher income. I don’t regret it at all. My kids are both high achieving and value the opportunities we have given them. But it was really tough at the beginning. Gave up a lot in the first 6 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

Not embarrassed in the least. The parents told us that they didn’t want their money just sitting there when it could be put to good use. They paid for every tuition, every summer program, every activity. They put money in an irrevocable trust every year so all we had to do is send the bill to the trustee (a lawyer) and he would send the money to the institution. About $80,000 each of them every year. If they hadn’t done it, fine, the kids would get by with less. But they wanted to. They retired early and we had a great relationship with both sides. No embarrassment at all. It’s family and we take care of each other in different ways.

Sounds like the taking care is all going one way!

[Anonymous]

Better public options or cheaper house bc you aren't using the public option.

[Anonymous]

We are not rich, but spouse thinks private schools are "better." A major downside is that with paying for private for multiple kids w/ limited income, college options are then limited, as we can't turn around and pay an additional $70-$80K a year for each kid in college. And colleges don't care that you're making the choice to pay for private school for your younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

Not embarrassed in the least. The parents told us that they didn’t want their money just sitting there when it could be put to good use. They paid for every tuition, every summer program, every activity. They put money in an irrevocable trust every year so all we had to do is send the bill to the trustee (a lawyer) and he would send the money to the institution. About $80,000 each of them every year. If they hadn’t done it, fine, the kids would get by with less. But they wanted to. They retired early and we had a great relationship with both sides. No embarrassment at all. It’s family and we take care of each other in different ways.

Sounds like the taking care is all going one way!

Ha! I bet they "take care of" them by inviting them on fancy family vacations that they also fund...

[Anonymous]

Apply for FA.