How do people afford it?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

I'm amused at calling private schools philosophically revolting while refusing to send your kids to the locally zoned schools and fishing around for a lottery and lucking out.

Err.... at least I'm not a hypocrite.

Except you missed the part about me being the grandparent. I didn’t do any fishing, and I didn’t write any checks either. No hypocrite here.

As for my kid, it doesn’t make one a hypocrite to look for alternatives to bleak public schools that don’t include rich kid schools. There’s a middle ground after all.

You are the hypocrite for talking about "philosophically revolting" when it comes to some people's decisions while justifying your own family's decision, which to others, could be "philosophically revolting" because your family is still choosing to say those kids aren't good enough for my kids, no matter how much they spin it. It's like people with BLM signs and "Be the Change" signs in front of their houses while living in all white neighborhoods and freaking out about having children in majority black schools.

Has nothing to do with skin color. Our grandkids are white and attended a Title I public school where the overwhelmingly majority of the students are black. My grandson watched a classic Disney movie with me the other day and asked “why are there so many white faces?” The charter school they are moving less than 15 percent white.

The schools their parents are avoiding are extremely low performing. That, and that alone, is why they’re avoiding them.

You're still a hypocrite because no matter what story you're telling us (cool story, grandma! your grandkid spotted all the nasty white faces! how enlightened!) your family is still going out of their way to avoid another school which they are zoned for. That is it in a nutshell. As long as they do it, you have no business decrying people's decisions to go to private schools without coming across as a massive hypocrite of the worst kind. Which you are.

You sound awfully defensive.

If you can't reasonably reply, you know you've lost the argument. The grandmother was hypocritical and I'm not sure why she waded into this thread in the first place.

I’m the grandmother. Our grandkids live in DC, which offers public neighborhood and public charter school options. They sent their kids to the neighborhood school for many years, then chose a public charter school for middle school that’s 80+ percent minority and where more than half the school is economically disadvantaged. It is a school that I guarantee you would would thumb your nose up at. They didn’t chose a rich kid private school.

Nothing hypocritical about this at all.

Stop patting yourself on the back granny. I get it you are cheap. Thankfully, there are more loving grandparents out there. Enjoy pinching your pennies.

She is just trying to make herself feel better but she knows deep down what a cheapskate she is 😏

Hahahaha I didn’t send my own kids to private even though I easily could have and they’re all doing great. Why would I send my grandkids? I don’t feel bad in the slightest, but I’ll tell you how I DO feel: rich!

This is not a real granny. It’s a troll, and not a very good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$285 HHI = after 401(k), FSA and stock purchases, medical insurance for family = appx $14k/month net on dual income.

Get ready for me to prove that it's not this crazy insane amount of money you think it is..

Debits monthly -
Kid 1 soccer (personal training sessions + club fees) and piano lessons = appx $5-600 on average over 12 months
Kid 2 piano lessons+ dyslexia tutoring/ADHD support = appx $900 on avg over 12 months
Kids tuition (with FA) at private MS = $3k (without it was $6500!)
Mortgage (we were lucky to get a great rate) = $2120
Housecleaner = $400
Property Tax = $1300
Utilities (gas/electric/H20/cell - no cable just wireless) = $500 or so
We have just the 1 car payment = $600
Dining out/groceries/gas/misc/savings for summer camps/vacations = $3k-3500

Add this up and it's very close to the $14k we make, net. This is not inclusive of any federal and state taxes annually nor savings that we would not really be using to fund things for kids - I would like you to tell me that we are really that super extravagant??

So YES - $300k HHI or so to live around DMV is not this huge bag of money. Unless you have no kids or your kids do nothing and you don't go on any vacations and you are always exhausted cooking and cleaning, maybe you have more - but it's not like we're just shopping every day

It is a huge amount of money you earn and your issue is lifestyle choices. You get rid of the house cleaner and extras.

[Anonymous]

The answer to this question for most is (1) generational wealth, (2) HHI of 7 figures plus and/or (3) grandparent assistance. Private school is a luxury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$285 HHI = after 401(k), FSA and stock purchases, medical insurance for family = appx $14k/month net on dual income.

Get ready for me to prove that it's not this crazy insane amount of money you think it is..

Debits monthly -
Kid 1 soccer (personal training sessions + club fees) and piano lessons = appx $5-600 on average over 12 months
Kid 2 piano lessons+ dyslexia tutoring/ADHD support = appx $900 on avg over 12 months
Kids tuition (with FA) at private MS = $3k (without it was $6500!)
Mortgage (we were lucky to get a great rate) = $2120
Housecleaner = $400
Property Tax = $1300
Utilities (gas/electric/H20/cell - no cable just wireless) = $500 or so
We have just the 1 car payment = $600
Dining out/groceries/gas/misc/savings for summer camps/vacations = $3k-3500

Add this up and it's very close to the $14k we make, net. This is not inclusive of any federal and state taxes annually nor savings that we would not really be using to fund things for kids - I would like you to tell me that we are really that super extravagant??

So YES - $300k HHI or so to live around DMV is not this huge bag of money. Unless you have no kids or your kids do nothing and you don't go on any vacations and you are always exhausted cooking and cleaning, maybe you have more - but it's not like we're just shopping every day

It is a huge amount of money you earn and your issue is lifestyle choices. You get rid of the house cleaner and extras.

+1. There are lots of things in your budget that others sacrifice. Let’s name a few: Personal trainers, house cleaners, vacations, $600 car payments.

I’m not saying you should sacrifice these things just that many do to make it work. So don’t believe for a minute it’s not a really good amount for HHI just because others make more.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone tried earning huge amounts of passive income via real estate? A lot of content creators are leaning in hard there.

[Anonymous]

I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

If you know exactly how all of the parents in your kid’s class are paying tuition then you’ve got major problems. I’d be afraid if I were in your kid’s class. Stalker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

You are naive and have no idea. Several people have trust funds. They just don't advertise it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

You have to be about the scariest person on here. Are you madly googling everyone's financials?
Do yo have access to some development software?
Seriously---this is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone tried earning huge amounts of passive income via real estate? A lot of content creators are leaning in hard there.

Of course they are because people love the idea of passive income. If the systems worked as well as the people hocking them pretend, then they wouldn't have to hustle as content creators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$285 HHI = after 401(k), FSA and stock purchases, medical insurance for family = appx $14k/month net on dual income.

Get ready for me to prove that it's not this crazy insane amount of money you think it is..

Debits monthly -
Kid 1 soccer (personal training sessions + club fees) and piano lessons = appx $5-600 on average over 12 months
Kid 2 piano lessons+ dyslexia tutoring/ADHD support = appx $900 on avg over 12 months
Kids tuition (with FA) at private MS = $3k (without it was $6500!)
Mortgage (we were lucky to get a great rate) = $2120
Housecleaner = $400
Property Tax = $1300
Utilities (gas/electric/H20/cell - no cable just wireless) = $500 or so
We have just the 1 car payment = $600
Dining out/groceries/gas/misc/savings for summer camps/vacations = $3k-3500

Add this up and it's very close to the $14k we make, net. This is not inclusive of any federal and state taxes annually nor savings that we would not really be using to fund things for kids - I would like you to tell me that we are really that super extravagant??

So YES - $300k HHI or so to live around DMV is not this huge bag of money. Unless you have no kids or your kids do nothing and you don't go on any vacations and you are always exhausted cooking and cleaning, maybe you have more - but it's not like we're just shopping every day

It is a huge amount of money you earn and your issue is lifestyle choices. You get rid of the house cleaner and extras.

Is kid 1 a serious soccer player? I switched from soccer to running in 8th grade and was recruited by Williams/Amherst (and ended up attending one of the schools). Unless your child is very good, soccer seems like a waste to me as there is so much competition. And can’t your kid do extra conditioning on their own? I used to go to the local Y in high school and lift on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Your mortgage is too high.

We have a HHI of $220k, mortgage of $340k, and pay $18k a year for private school without breaking a sweat. You need to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

You have to be about the scariest person on here. Are you madly googling everyone's financials?
Do yo have access to some development software?
Seriously---this is insane.

My guess is the person knows what people do. I live outside of NYC and the vast majority of people at my kids’ private school work in big law or in PE or at hedge funds. There is a ton of generational wealth, so grandparents probably do contribute to kids’ educational costs - but it’s not like many families need it. And you find out what people do through all of the crazy school activities. There are a ton of social events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

You have to be about the scariest person on here. Are you madly googling everyone's financials?
Do yo have access to some development software?
Seriously---this is insane.

My guess is the person knows what people do. I live outside of NYC and the vast majority of people at my kids’ private school work in big law or in PE or at hedge funds. There is a ton of generational wealth, so grandparents probably do contribute to kids’ educational costs - but it’s not like many families need it. And you find out what people do through all of the crazy school activities. There are a ton of social events.

yes, i have kids at the Cathedral schools. We have a about a million social events and I know many parents. However, I have no idea what every last one does or what their income and net worth are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can only think of one family getting grandparent assistance in my kid’s classes. Lots of very successful parents.

My parents pay half of my kids' tuition and we have never told anyone.