How do people afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maxing out 401(k)s and 529s, while often prudent, is also a choice. The majority of people don't have that luxury available to them in the budget. Home ownership is also a luxury that many families don't have. And yet some DCUMers would have us think that they are necessary or entitlements.

At their salary they can still do all of those- contribute some to 401 and 529 and own a home. It just doesn't have to be a million dollar SFH. Problem is people get greedy and want everything and think they should be able to have everything- and then the schools- and other families who are full pay and do sacrifice for their children are left to foot the bill for these leeches when they hold out their hand to get financial aid to cover their private school expenses while driving expensive cars and living in a massive home.

Exactly this. That must be the poster that said our choices to skip extras like $400/mo on housecleaning is “nuts.” 🙄🙄🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fed, DH works at a non-profit. We make 310 combined. 750k mortgage. No other debt. We want to send our two kids private, but at $40-50k a year per kid it doesn’t seem possible. Is there anyone in our situation that actually found a way to make this work?

If you love your kids you'll make it work. They deserve better than what you got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - we have 2 kids, HHI appx $285k and equity in our home. We pay only $2k for mortgage monthly on a $1.6M house because we got a low rate and our house is currently worth a lot in a great neighborhood. Originally, our first year of private, we had to do full pay because of the house. However, our 2nd year, we received FA because the first year was calculated with our house as an asset. Once we clearly defined our budget and it was understood that our house is not cash, they realized that we could not afford the tuition. One of our kids has learning disabilities so we pay out of pocket monthly for a private tutor to work with him so that's a chunk of cash for us right there.

I don't know that your FA would come through but certainly I would say - 1. Your house is not cash - we made that case stick. Try that. Making close to $300k in DMV is not rich. It's middle class for sure. I know all these people who suggest otherwise but DMV is SO damn $$. I did the numbers and the only way we could do full pay is at $400k HHI. Our kids are in MS which means tuition is more than ES. At $90k for 2 kids, there is NO Fing way we could do full pay. 2. Remember that just because you didn't receive FA first year does not mean you may not get it 2nd yr. We killed ourselves and dipped into savings last year for tuition but it just had to be done. We hoped for FA but weren't sure of it for 2nd year but we had to roll the dice. I was prepared to go in and give them all my bank account statements to prove there was just no way to do full pay and 3. It's worth it!!! It really is. We have a lot of friends with kids in public and it's fine. It's fine for them because they have like perfect kids LOL Ours are not. I got a kid with dyslexia and ADHD and no way he gets through public MS in our neighborhood without a LOT of help. But my other kid is fine but you know, it is SOOOOOO good for her. I

I would say that it's an analogy like a vacation - you can go to a vacation destination and enjoy it. It's a matter of how much you want to enjoy your vacation. Of course having just the time to go away and look at pretty scenery is all fine and can be defined by most as a vacation but really, truly, if you are going to need and want a vacation, make it a nice one. It's worth it because life is worth it. It's your kids. DH and I both went to public and it was fine. But our kids can do better than fine. It's not about going to a "better" college, it's about enjoying the 7-8 years in school - wanting and loving to learn. It's about giving them a school they will take something away from beyond just taking tests every week. In our school, they have so many opportunities to do creative projects that aren't just based in writing a paper. They do presentations, learn social skills, the extracurriculars help them become more well rounded. It's about nurturing them. Sorry but you do NOT get this from public. Ultimately, a human being is the sum of their experiences. Just because it's a kid and not an adult, it doesn't mean they should be shortchanged. The level of academics is also high where we are but again, we are not there because the kids must go to an Ivy. We are there not for grades but for education.

I don't know how people afford it. But you know, everyone here is typically an attorney at Big Law, a lobbyist, work for govt contracting and maybe a second income from military so like 2 incomes at once. Everything here is expensive. I don't know how people who don't make $300k+ with 2 kids actually get by! LOL Between activities and taking actual holidays for our sanity, and just living and enjoying your life so you don't want to kill yourself meaning ordering out and not cooking all the time and maybe having someone to clean your house too, yeah, life is expensive. I don't know how we afforded it last year but you do find a way.

I encourage you to not give up if you are interested in private school based on $$ alone. Now I would say, I wouldn't start my kid off at age 5 preK if I had financial constraints but certainly by 5th/6th grade, it's a good time to consider. I personally would suggest MS v HS.

Your house is not cash but someone whose HHI is $285K who has a $1.6M house (assuming appreciation is not factored in and that’s what you bought it for) made a decision to spend a lot of money on an asset that will appreciate in value over time instead of preserving liquidity for other things, like private school. I would not give that person FA over someone with a similar income whose house is $1M or less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - we have 2 kids, HHI appx $285k and equity in our home. We pay only $2k for mortgage monthly on a $1.6M house because we got a low rate and our house is currently worth a lot in a great neighborhood. Originally, our first year of private, we had to do full pay because of the house. However, our 2nd year, we received FA because the first year was calculated with our house as an asset. Once we clearly defined our budget and it was understood that our house is not cash, they realized that we could not afford the tuition. One of our kids has learning disabilities so we pay out of pocket monthly for a private tutor to work with him so that's a chunk of cash for us right there.

I don't know that your FA would come through but certainly I would say - 1. Your house is not cash - we made that case stick. Try that. Making close to $300k in DMV is not rich. It's middle class for sure. I know all these people who suggest otherwise but DMV is SO damn $$. I did the numbers and the only way we could do full pay is at $400k HHI. Our kids are in MS which means tuition is more than ES. At $90k for 2 kids, there is NO Fing way we could do full pay. 2. Remember that just because you didn't receive FA first year does not mean you may not get it 2nd yr. We killed ourselves and dipped into savings last year for tuition but it just had to be done. We hoped for FA but weren't sure of it for 2nd year but we had to roll the dice. I was prepared to go in and give them all my bank account statements to prove there was just no way to do full pay and 3. It's worth it!!! It really is. We have a lot of friends with kids in public and it's fine. It's fine for them because they have like perfect kids LOL Ours are not. I got a kid with dyslexia and ADHD and no way he gets through public MS in our neighborhood without a LOT of help. But my other kid is fine but you know, it is SOOOOOO good for her. I

I would say that it's an analogy like a vacation - you can go to a vacation destination and enjoy it. It's a matter of how much you want to enjoy your vacation. Of course having just the time to go away and look at pretty scenery is all fine and can be defined by most as a vacation but really, truly, if you are going to need and want a vacation, make it a nice one. It's worth it because life is worth it. It's your kids. DH and I both went to public and it was fine. But our kids can do better than fine. It's not about going to a "better" college, it's about enjoying the 7-8 years in school - wanting and loving to learn. It's about giving them a school they will take something away from beyond just taking tests every week. In our school, they have so many opportunities to do creative projects that aren't just based in writing a paper. They do presentations, learn social skills, the extracurriculars help them become more well rounded. It's about nurturing them. Sorry but you do NOT get this from public. Ultimately, a human being is the sum of their experiences. Just because it's a kid and not an adult, it doesn't mean they should be shortchanged. The level of academics is also high where we are but again, we are not there because the kids must go to an Ivy. We are there not for grades but for education.

I don't know how people afford it. But you know, everyone here is typically an attorney at Big Law, a lobbyist, work for govt contracting and maybe a second income from military so like 2 incomes at once. Everything here is expensive. I don't know how people who don't make $300k+ with 2 kids actually get by! LOL Between activities and taking actual holidays for our sanity, and just living and enjoying your life so you don't want to kill yourself meaning ordering out and not cooking all the time and maybe having someone to clean your house too, yeah, life is expensive. I don't know how we afforded it last year but you do find a way.

I encourage you to not give up if you are interested in private school based on $$ alone. Now I would say, I wouldn't start my kid off at age 5 preK if I had financial constraints but certainly by 5th/6th grade, it's a good time to consider. I personally would suggest MS v HS.

Your house is not cash but someone whose HHI is $285K who has a $1.6M house (assuming appreciation is not factored in and that’s what you bought it for) made a decision to spend a lot of money on an asset that will appreciate in value over time instead of preserving liquidity for other things, like private school. I would not give that person FA over someone with a similar income whose house is $1M or less.

this 100%. It is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

Oh I completely agree, hence the key word “choices.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maxing out 401(k)s and 529s, while often prudent, is also a choice. The majority of people don't have that luxury available to them in the budget. Home ownership is also a luxury that many families don't have. And yet some DCUMers would have us think that they are necessary or entitlements.

At their salary they can still do all of those- contribute some to 401 and 529 and own a home. It just doesn't have to be a million dollar SFH. Problem is people get greedy and want everything and think they should be able to have everything- and then the schools- and other families who are full pay and do sacrifice for their children are left to foot the bill for these leeches when they hold out their hand to get financial aid to cover their private school expenses while driving expensive cars and living in a massive home.

Their house is worth four times what ours is, we rarely vacation, haven’t in years, no housekeeper, etc and we managed to make it work and even pay off our house. Our house sucks but it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

lol. You're always welcome to prioritize your baubles. Hence, "choices".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

The fact that you see this as depriving yourself is itself an issue. It is living no differently than the vast majority of Americans and still way better than most of the rest of the world. I can plan a road trip through Italy or Greece for 3 weeks for less than what a single budget week costs in the US. I'm starting to think that it may just be a lack of imagination due to too much money lmao

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

The fact that you see this as depriving yourself is itself an issue. It is living no differently than the vast majority of Americans and still way better than most of the rest of the world. I can plan a road trip through Italy or Greece for 3 weeks for less than what a single budget week costs in the US. I'm starting to think that it may just be a lack of imagination due to too much money lmao

If money is tight you don’t vacation like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

This makes no sense. The discussion is about making private a priority and they are asking how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

The fact that you see this as depriving yourself is itself an issue. It is living no differently than the vast majority of Americans and still way better than most of the rest of the world. I can plan a road trip through Italy or Greece for 3 weeks for less than what a single budget week costs in the US. I'm starting to think that it may just be a lack of imagination due to too much money lmao

If money is tight you don’t vacation like that.

At HHI 310 with 2 kids it leaves them with 200-220k if their kids go to different schools with no discount for the second kid. That is NOT TIGHT. We send one kid at 50k at 200k, and when we were paying 30k we could vacation like that because we knew how to plan, save and prioritize- not going to resorts but buying our own food, cooking, and being on a budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

This makes no sense. The discussion is about making private a priority and they are asking how.

And they have been answered multiple times. They can afford to easily. If they don't, it is a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? People saying you can't afford it have a spending problem. We paid for a pricey secular k8 when we were under 200k and are now paying 50k at just over 200k. we have probably a bit less in equity than you if I'm understanding you correctly that you have 800k equity and still 750k mortgage left to pay.

An expensive SFH is a CHOICE.
Nice cars are a CHOICE.
Fancy gadgets and trips are a CHOICE.
Spending on nicer clothes and nails and hair salons are a CHOICE.

You can choose cushy or you can choose education. Pretending you can't "afford" it on your salary is utter nonsense.

Exactly this. I don’t use a house cleaner - I clean myself. We rarely eat out. Our vacations are visiting and staying with family. We don’t buy expensive clothes or handbags or watches. We have an ordinary car. Etc etc. Life is about choices.

Yep. And your choices are just plain nuts.

Our choices are nuts? Lol yep, says a completely ignorant, idiot.

You will never convince and many others that it’s worth so much sacrifice for a private school education. It’s like you’re deifying your kid.

Any attentive and educated parent can see to it that their kid gets a good education in a public school. They don’t have to deprive themselves to such a great extent. They just don’t. It’s odd AF to think otherwise.

NP. For us, it’s partially selfish. Sure, we could move out of the city, but we wouldn’t like it, and our commute would suck. So we want to indulge ourselves, but we also want want our kid to get a better education than is available at our zoned public school (a greatschools 2). Hence, private.

We have prioritized our kid’s education AND our location preferences over a lot of other discretionary spending. It doesn’t feel like a “sacrifice”. It feels like spending money on what is important to us.

And like above posters, we are full pay at less than $250k HHI. It’s fine because we do not prioritize clothing, cars, expensive travel, etc. We don’t feel deprived because we don’t really care about that stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Similar stats to you, but we have one kid and we get financial aid. Money is tight and DH thinks we should pull the kid back to public.

How is money tight on that income? That's appalling you get financial aid making over $300K.

We had an HHI of $250k when our one child started private school and did not get financial aid. Similar mortgage. Fortunately our HHI has increased so we have a bit more breathing room.