Dates and paying bill

[Anonymous]

Ugh absolutely not!

Any attraction I had for him would have been instantly gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any update OP? It's been a few days, what happened?

I haven't completely cut him off, our kids go to the same daycare so I'll be seeing him around. He did seem hurt that I'm not texting or wanting to hang out, even said that he would stop texting me if I'm bugging him. I probably should have ended it right there since he kind of opened the conversation, but I was too chicken and felt bad.

I thought you were 29?

OP here. Is 29 too young to have a child in daycare...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has kids but has never been in a relationship?

He was in a relationship with her but not a long term serious one. 7 months or so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any update OP? It's been a few days, what happened?

I haven't completely cut him off, our kids go to the same daycare so I'll be seeing him around. He did seem hurt that I'm not texting or wanting to hang out, even said that he would stop texting me if I'm bugging him. I probably should have ended it right there since he kind of opened the conversation, but I was too chicken and felt bad.

I thought you were 29?

OP here. Is 29 too young to have a child in daycare...?

OP again. I have a 4 year old AND 6 year old, if that makes you shake in your boots even more. But at least they have the same father I guess, if that makes you see it as less trashy?

[Anonymous]

I am a fifty-four year old woman & I think the man (age/income does not matter) should only pay for the first 2-3 dates if this includes a dinner + maybe a movie or a show afterward.

After that - I would expect our dates to be Dutch.
If the guy offered to pay for the majority of our dates out > as a thank you, I would insist on cooking for him when we eat in or pay for a good movie from my TV service.

It appears this guy is tired of always covering the cost of your dates out and he is being passive/aggressive by complimenting the hostess’s nails.

He should have just addressed his financial issues w/you directly but it appears that he cannot for some reason.

If you would like to continue seeing this guy, then I strongly encourage you both to discuss who will pay for what re: future dates.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a fifty-four year old woman & I think the man (age/income does not matter) should only pay for the first 2-3 dates if this includes a dinner + maybe a movie or a show afterward.

After that - I would expect our dates to be Dutch.
If the guy offered to pay for the majority of our dates out > as a thank you, I would insist on cooking for him when we eat in or pay for a good movie from my TV service.

It appears this guy is tired of always covering the cost of your dates out and he is being passive/aggressive by complimenting the hostess’s nails.

He should have just addressed his financial issues w/you directly but it appears that he cannot for some reason.

If you would like to continue seeing this guy, then I strongly encourage you both to discuss who will pay for what re: future dates.

Good luck!

OP here - did you miss the part where I cooked for him twice (on my dime), paid for movie theater tickets (he did not buy the snacks) and paid for snacks at a ball game? This is half the dates right there. Just saying, since you said you would be cooking and paying for a movie as if I did not say that in my original post...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a fifty-four year old woman & I think the man (age/income does not matter) should only pay for the first 2-3 dates if this includes a dinner + maybe a movie or a show afterward.

After that - I would expect our dates to be Dutch.
If the guy offered to pay for the majority of our dates out > as a thank you, I would insist on cooking for him when we eat in or pay for a good movie from my TV service.

It appears this guy is tired of always covering the cost of your dates out and he is being passive/aggressive by complimenting the hostess’s nails.

He should have just addressed his financial issues w/you directly but it appears that he cannot for some reason.

If you would like to continue seeing this guy, then I strongly encourage you both to discuss who will pay for what re: future dates.

Good luck!

The issue with that is that he might be dating cute 30 year olds in parallel to you and paying for them. You de-facto are subsidizing a man two-timing you giving him a higher dating budget. I wouldn’t pay anything until we are exclusive. Exclusive to me means having sex, regular at each others homes, were introduced to friends and family etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

Good luck finding your princess. You’ll have really tough time. I dated men who were younger and made less than me. All of them paid for me at dates. It’s a social norm as men and women are not equals. Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

So you do this with your friends as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

I am a conservative woman and I would object. How tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

Guy here and if I saw this at a table next to me I would advise the woman to run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

That is interesting, considering conservative women typically have more traditional values and appreciate gender norms more. I highly doubt they are fine splitting the bill with you (and frankly I agree with them - gentlemen always pay on a first date).

Then again, you're probably an internet troll whose most recent date was his hand, so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

That is interesting, considering conservative women typically have more traditional values and appreciate gender norms more. I highly doubt they are fine splitting the bill with you (and frankly I agree with them - gentlemen always pay on a first date).

Then again, you're probably an internet troll whose most recent date was his hand, so.

I am “a liberal woman” which means I believe in equity.equality I guess. Part of equity in male/female is recognizing our unequal economics and also I happen to sort be dating in a transition era from “men earn and pay” to “women are starting to earn more”. I don’t happen to be a high earner so it’s kind for the the other person to extend themselves as a gesture of appreciation warmth respect for my existence. If I was the much higher earner I would pay. In fact when I’m out with friends who i know earn less than I do, I often treat for lunch/coffee break etc. it’s just normal warmth and etiquette that’s hard to quantify. It’s just being nice!!! Sheesh people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On all of my Dates, I request completely separate checks In Advance. I find the only women who object to it are Liberals. Isn't that interesting.

That is interesting, considering conservative women typically have more traditional values and appreciate gender norms more. I highly doubt they are fine splitting the bill with you (and frankly I agree with them - gentlemen always pay on a first date).

Then again, you're probably an internet troll whose most recent date was his hand, so.

I am “a liberal woman” which means I believe in equity.equality I guess. Part of equity in male/female is recognizing our unequal economics and also I happen to sort be dating in a transition era from “men earn and pay” to “women are starting to earn more”. I don’t happen to be a high earner so it’s kind for the the other person to extend themselves as a gesture of appreciation warmth respect for my existence. If I was the much higher earner I would pay. In fact when I’m out with friends who i know earn less than I do, I often treat for lunch/coffee break etc. it’s just normal warmth and etiquette that’s hard to quantify. It’s just being nice!!! Sheesh people.

I’m a higher earner female PP. I do treat my friends who I know make less. But I won’t pay for a man on dates unless we are exclusive. It’s just no way I’ll open my wallet and offer to cover the dinner. It’s his expense dating a variety of women, period. I know that I’m not dating any other men by the time he invited me for a dinner. But he (in my experience) might be still in active search well into 2-3 months with me (even if already physical with me ). Men play dating dirty particular on OLD. Most of them have a “backup” lady or I’m the “backup”. Thus I won’t cross subsidize this behavior. This is totally different from treating friends. Men you date are not your friends, by far! Many I seeking to use your good gestures and it takes time to separate seeds from chaff.

Btw my first dates are always free to men (a coffee, a park walk, a board game etc). I never accept dinner invites right away as I want him to decide on options first.