Dates and paying bill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a year older than you so I think I can add some generational perspective here. He's cheap for accepting your offer to pay - most men who are gentlemen would turn you down - but you are making it needlessly awkward. Venmo? It needs to be a little smoother than that. Let him pay for dinner and then you suggest a round of drinks somewhere that you can pay for.

However, I did pay for a fourth date recently and that was because he had to step outside for a work call and I thought it was tacky to just sit there with the bill in the middle of the table until he was done. And when he came back in and realized I had already paid he was mortified.

Why offer to pay at all?

I mean, you're preaching to the choir. I don't offer to pay. But I also think a lot of women do and men who accept their offers to do so aren't gentlemen. I only pay in extenuating circumstances like the one I mentioned where the guy had to step out to take a work call, OR if it's like his birthday or he just got a promotion or something. But the latter is more in relationships, not dating. I would be so grossed out if a guy I wasn't exclusive with expected me to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are all about equality until they date, then they expect the man to pay.

Ladies, quick translation for you. When men say snarky comments like this, they are really saying "I'm broke."

Women are all about equality and being self-sufficient until they date, then they expect to date only men with money and for them to pay for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are all about equality until they date, then they expect the man to pay.

Ladies, quick translation for you. When men say snarky comments like this, they are really saying "I'm broke."

Ah, here come the telltale shaming works "You're broke" "Beta" "Little d*ck energy"

These are words intended to shame and control men's behavior. But God forbid a man suggest you lose 10 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean burgers and beer has to be what, $50? And he is squawking at paying that? This guy is a tool. This wasn’t some fine dining experience that you used him for. I would move on.

+1 I can't imagine being in a relationship or marriage with a man that tight with his money. Will only get worse with the years, kids, house payment, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a year older than you so I think I can add some generational perspective here. He's cheap for accepting your offer to pay - most men who are gentlemen would turn you down - but you are making it needlessly awkward. Venmo? It needs to be a little smoother than that. Let him pay for dinner and then you suggest a round of drinks somewhere that you can pay for.

However, I did pay for a fourth date recently and that was because he had to step outside for a work call and I thought it was tacky to just sit there with the bill in the middle of the table until he was done. And when he came back in and realized I had already paid he was mortified.

Why offer to pay at all?

I mean, you're preaching to the choir. I don't offer to pay. But I also think a lot of women do and men who accept their offers to do so aren't gentlemen. I only pay in extenuating circumstances like the one I mentioned where the guy had to step out to take a work call, OR if it's like his birthday or he just got a promotion or something. But the latter is more in relationships, not dating. I would be so grossed out if a guy I wasn't exclusive with expected me to pay.

So a man who takes a woman at her word and treats her like an adult is not a gentleman?

Fellas, y'all hearing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a year older than you so I think I can add some generational perspective here. He's cheap for accepting your offer to pay - most men who are gentlemen would turn you down - but you are making it needlessly awkward. Venmo? It needs to be a little smoother than that. Let him pay for dinner and then you suggest a round of drinks somewhere that you can pay for.

However, I did pay for a fourth date recently and that was because he had to step outside for a work call and I thought it was tacky to just sit there with the bill in the middle of the table until he was done. And when he came back in and realized I had already paid he was mortified.

Why offer to pay at all?

I mean, you're preaching to the choir. I don't offer to pay. But I also think a lot of women do and men who accept their offers to do so aren't gentlemen. I only pay in extenuating circumstances like the one I mentioned where the guy had to step out to take a work call, OR if it's like his birthday or he just got a promotion or something. But the latter is more in relationships, not dating. I would be so grossed out if a guy I wasn't exclusive with expected me to pay.

They aren’t “gentlemen???” WTF is this 1950. Women are impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a year older than you so I think I can add some generational perspective here. He's cheap for accepting your offer to pay - most men who are gentlemen would turn you down - but you are making it needlessly awkward. Venmo? It needs to be a little smoother than that. Let him pay for dinner and then you suggest a round of drinks somewhere that you can pay for.

However, I did pay for a fourth date recently and that was because he had to step outside for a work call and I thought it was tacky to just sit there with the bill in the middle of the table until he was done. And when he came back in and realized I had already paid he was mortified.

Why offer to pay at all?

I mean, you're preaching to the choir. I don't offer to pay. But I also think a lot of women do and men who accept their offers to do so aren't gentlemen. I only pay in extenuating circumstances like the one I mentioned where the guy had to step out to take a work call, OR if it's like his birthday or he just got a promotion or something. But the latter is more in relationships, not dating. I would be so grossed out if a guy I wasn't exclusive with expected me to pay.

They aren’t “gentlemen???” WTF is this 1950. Women are impossible.

Cope.

[Anonymous]

I find it absolutely extraordinary that women expect men to pay for dates in 2023. Period. It should be 50/50 every single time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a year older than you so I think I can add some generational perspective here. He's cheap for accepting your offer to pay - most men who are gentlemen would turn you down - but you are making it needlessly awkward. Venmo? It needs to be a little smoother than that. Let him pay for dinner and then you suggest a round of drinks somewhere that you can pay for.

However, I did pay for a fourth date recently and that was because he had to step outside for a work call and I thought it was tacky to just sit there with the bill in the middle of the table until he was done. And when he came back in and realized I had already paid he was mortified.

Why offer to pay at all?

I mean, you're preaching to the choir. I don't offer to pay. But I also think a lot of women do and men who accept their offers to do so aren't gentlemen. I only pay in extenuating circumstances like the one I mentioned where the guy had to step out to take a work call, OR if it's like his birthday or he just got a promotion or something. But the latter is more in relationships, not dating. I would be so grossed out if a guy I wasn't exclusive with expected me to pay.

They aren’t “gentlemen???” WTF is this 1950. Women are impossible.

Cope.

WhErE dId tHe GOoD mEn Go?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it absolutely extraordinary that women expect men to pay for dates in 2023. Period. It should be 50/50 every single time.

OP's date found the thread lmfao.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean burgers and beer has to be what, $50? And he is squawking at paying that? This guy is a tool. This wasn’t some fine dining experience that you used him for. I would move on.

+1 I can't imagine being in a relationship or marriage with a man that tight with his money. Will only get worse with the years, kids, house payment, etc.

You expect him to pay, he expects you to put out, amrite? Isn't this the social contract you want to uphold?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a year older than you so I think I can add some generational perspective here. He's cheap for accepting your offer to pay - most men who are gentlemen would turn you down - but you are making it needlessly awkward. Venmo? It needs to be a little smoother than that. Let him pay for dinner and then you suggest a round of drinks somewhere that you can pay for.

However, I did pay for a fourth date recently and that was because he had to step outside for a work call and I thought it was tacky to just sit there with the bill in the middle of the table until he was done. And when he came back in and realized I had already paid he was mortified.

Why offer to pay at all?

I mean, you're preaching to the choir. I don't offer to pay. But I also think a lot of women do and men who accept their offers to do so aren't gentlemen. I only pay in extenuating circumstances like the one I mentioned where the guy had to step out to take a work call, OR if it's like his birthday or he just got a promotion or something. But the latter is more in relationships, not dating. I would be so grossed out if a guy I wasn't exclusive with expected me to pay.

They aren’t “gentlemen???” WTF is this 1950. Women are impossible.

Cope.

WhErE dId tHe GOoD mEn Go?!?

I am the OR who said men should pay and I don't really have a problem finding good men who also pay the bill. That's why I'm so astounded that this man took her up on her offer to pay. I went out with one guy who was cheap once and I didn't break up with him because he was cheap, I broke up with him because he was mentally unstable and rude - the cheapness was the icing on the cake.

[Anonymous]

Another glaring example of women trying to police what good masculinity is, but God forbid anyone tell them how a "lady" should act?

You have to laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a year older than you so I think I can add some generational perspective here. He's cheap for accepting your offer to pay - most men who are gentlemen would turn you down - but you are making it needlessly awkward. Venmo? It needs to be a little smoother than that. Let him pay for dinner and then you suggest a round of drinks somewhere that you can pay for.

However, I did pay for a fourth date recently and that was because he had to step outside for a work call and I thought it was tacky to just sit there with the bill in the middle of the table until he was done. And when he came back in and realized I had already paid he was mortified.

Why offer to pay at all?

I mean, you're preaching to the choir. I don't offer to pay. But I also think a lot of women do and men who accept their offers to do so aren't gentlemen. I only pay in extenuating circumstances like the one I mentioned where the guy had to step out to take a work call, OR if it's like his birthday or he just got a promotion or something. But the latter is more in relationships, not dating. I would be so grossed out if a guy I wasn't exclusive with expected me to pay.

They aren’t “gentlemen???” WTF is this 1950. Women are impossible.

Cope.

WhErE dId tHe GOoD mEn Go?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another glaring example of women trying to police what good masculinity is, but God forbid anyone tell them how a "lady" should act?

You have to laugh.

How many times are you going to whine?