Can’t have water, apparently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is way too much. I would leave. Weirdos.

You'd leave? People on DCUM amuse me. OP is the guest in this home and yes, MIL is being a fusspot but not nuts or OCD. If OP is this incensed to her core over this silly thing, OP is going to have one hell of a time when there's a baby and MIL (or, God forbid! DH himself, or anyone else remotely in OP's orbit) does something that gets on OP's apparently very easily upset nerves. OP seems to be a humor-free zone about this, which begs the question: About what else might she be so uptight?

MIL isn't demanding that OP wash all these glasses. MIL is being a neat freak, sure, but in her own home, and creating work for HERSELF, not for OP. But instead of rolling her eyes a bit and joking about it with DH and letting it go, OP has to make her water A Hill To Die On.

Before someone leaps in to yelp, "But! But but but what about the water bottle that is OP's ownnnn!" Yes, that was silly, but FFS, tell MIL once firmly, using your words like an adult: "Hey, I get that you worry about glasses being left around so that's why I brought in my bottle. Please don't move it or clean it -- I have a particular way of cleaning it and will do that myself. Just pretend it's invisible!" But nah, OP would rather be offended. .And again---MIL is not doing this at OP's own home. You can be a freak at your own place, and guests can leave if they want, but leaving over this? OP had better be ready to leave over every other quirk she encounters too. In fact, just send DH to see his folks solo from now on. OP must not find much to like in her MIL if this one ridiculous thing would be such a big deal to OP.

You know what? OP can also just not visit MIL, ever. And if her son remembers to visit her, then sure, he can do it alone.

Hey, OP, sounds like a good plan. You can all meet up at a neutral location or she can come to your place under your rules, if you are going to stay involved in this. Jesus.

You are wound very tight. Scarily so.

Yeah, I can bear seeing a glass on a coaster for more than three minutes, so.

Nah, that's not it. The extreme over reaction to a glass being moved is bizarre. If you're so chill to be cool with a a glass resting then what's with the rage with it being moved?

Are we talking about one glass, or six glasses in a row every time I put it down, plus you going through the guest room to confiscate my water bottle? Because you may be reading a different thread.

It's a freaking water glass. Who really cares? The people raging about it being moved are as nut as the MIL. Different side of the same coin.

Hey, it's probably time for you to count the number of screws in your cabinets again. Better get on that.

Maybe you need a good screwing. Might help your anger problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is way too much. I would leave. Weirdos.

You'd leave? People on DCUM amuse me. OP is the guest in this home and yes, MIL is being a fusspot but not nuts or OCD. If OP is this incensed to her core over this silly thing, OP is going to have one hell of a time when there's a baby and MIL (or, God forbid! DH himself, or anyone else remotely in OP's orbit) does something that gets on OP's apparently very easily upset nerves. OP seems to be a humor-free zone about this, which begs the question: About what else might she be so uptight?

MIL isn't demanding that OP wash all these glasses. MIL is being a neat freak, sure, but in her own home, and creating work for HERSELF, not for OP. But instead of rolling her eyes a bit and joking about it with DH and letting it go, OP has to make her water A Hill To Die On.

Before someone leaps in to yelp, "But! But but but what about the water bottle that is OP's ownnnn!" Yes, that was silly, but FFS, tell MIL once firmly, using your words like an adult: "Hey, I get that you worry about glasses being left around so that's why I brought in my bottle. Please don't move it or clean it -- I have a particular way of cleaning it and will do that myself. Just pretend it's invisible!" But nah, OP would rather be offended. .And again---MIL is not doing this at OP's own home. You can be a freak at your own place, and guests can leave if they want, but leaving over this? OP had better be ready to leave over every other quirk she encounters too. In fact, just send DH to see his folks solo from now on. OP must not find much to like in her MIL if this one ridiculous thing would be such a big deal to OP.

You know what? OP can also just not visit MIL, ever. And if her son remembers to visit her, then sure, he can do it alone.

Hey, OP, sounds like a good plan. You can all meet up at a neutral location or she can come to your place under your rules, if you are going to stay involved in this. Jesus.

You are wound very tight. Scarily so.

Yeah, I can bear seeing a glass on a coaster for more than three minutes, so.

Nah, that's not it. The extreme over reaction to a glass being moved is bizarre. If you're so chill to be cool with a a glass resting then what's with the rage with it being moved?

Are we talking about one glass, or six glasses in a row every time I put it down, plus you going through the guest room to confiscate my water bottle? Because you may be reading a different thread.

It's a freaking water glass. Who really cares? The people raging about it being moved are as nut as the MIL. Different side of the same coin.

Hey, it's probably time for you to count the number of screws in your cabinets again. Better get on that.

[Anonymous]

Just don't host people, PP. Let them live their lives and be happy. Deal with your own problems on your own time, and don't inflict it on others.

Let them stay in a hotel. They'll be happier; you'll be happier. Everyone wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just get a new glass every time. My mil gets mad at me for doing this but a cup sitting on my counter for hours annoys me. I keep my home clutter free, we clean up after every meal or snack. She will leave her coffee up on the counter and come back to drink it 3 or 4 hours later. We don't leave clutter out. I would prefer just getting a new cup and pouring another cup of coffee. She hates washing dishes and feels I do also.

My best friend gets annoyed when sharing a beach house with my family because my family uses about 5 glasses each a day. Her family has water bottles that they use all day, we generally only use water bottles if we are away from home.

Every house is different just adjust op. Going into your room may be extreme especially for a short trip.

Jesus - you're a nightmare. I can't imagine that your friends look forward to vacation with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

Just remember when they come to visit you, OP, that it apparently is OK to impose and enforce arbitrary, ridiculous rules on your guests, because it's your house. Coffee is only served from 7-7:15 each day, or you are "issued one glass" each morning and you have to use that glass, and only that glass, all day. I, and I am sure others, would be happy to provide other suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

Just remember when they come to visit you, OP, that it apparently is OK to impose and enforce arbitrary, ridiculous rules on your guests, because it's your house. Coffee is only served from 7-7:15 each day, or you are "issued one glass" each morning and you have to use that glass, and only that glass, all day. I, and I am sure others, would be happy to provide other suggestions.

DP. I laughed, because I immediately thought about "decorative" glasses that were placed on every flat surface. But seriously, don't try to hurt other people. It doesn't make it better for anyone. Just draw your own boundaries and let them draw theirs. If she doesn't want to see a glass out in the wild, then fine -- but if her intense fixations bother her guests, then they don't have to be guests.

It's a problem whenever we try to bring more misery into the world. This includes trying to poke the bear of people who aren't too great at hospitality just as much as it includes those who try to fetishize their own mental health problems as being somehow pure, or superior, or somehow laudatory.

Neutral territory for gatherings is highly, highly underrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

Bingo. A PP sure called it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

Niiiice.

Team OP all the way.

+1

Team OP. Winning.

Love this update, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

[Anonymous]

Triggered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

The water glasses encapsulate the whole problem nicely and only compulsive fault-finders could get mad about the story being told in that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

That should be OP's face. She has valid complaints more serious than the water glass stupidity, yet only trickled them out 15 pages in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

And ... and the other posters are too uptight.

Don't light any more matches in this tinderbox.