Can’t have water, apparently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

You melted down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They do sound crazy. That said, it isn't your dishwasher or water bill. You could just get a new glass every time, right? If they insist on having that insane attitude, you could just roll with it for the three days or whatever.

Agreed.

Don't fee the troll. OP became mother in a few days and posted about her DIL acting out on her. Yep, from DIL to MIL with an adult kid in seconds!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

Out of curiosity, what is the reason for the rule that you can't sleep with your door completely closed? Is it a concern that you might lock yourself in there and people wouldn't be able to get to you in a fire? I vaguely remember we had a "rule" like this when I was little, and it might have been about fire. But it might also have been so that the cat could move around the house freely without scratching on anyone's door.

You have my sympathy with the water. I was raised with the rule that you NEVER clear away someone's water glass unless you are absolutely certain they are finished with it. My mother also keeps a rubber band around her glass so that she can use the same one all day. That used to annoy me for some reason, but from now on I will be more understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is some crazy passive-aggressive sheet.

agree. I'd leave. like today. now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ime the older generation doesn’t understand the constant need to drink water. I swear some of my family are really camels. 8 8oz glasses of water a day was a recommendation within the last 2ish decades and I think has been debunked.

Normally I’d say that they view you having a glass of water out as leaving a mess. But that doesn’t explain the water bottle. That just seems vindictive because it’s not in their line of site and it’s not like they are missing a glass that needs to be washed.

Needing to constantly drink water isn't good. Could be a sign of diabetes. Or in OPs case gestational diabetes.

You sound dehydrated. Have some refreshing water.

Pregnant women especially need to stay hydrated. Dehydration can lead to premature labor. DH and I would have been out of there with the first glass removed. Obstetrics nurse told me to keep a glass of water beside my bed every night and I still bring one every night 20 years later.

I think the MIL was rude to go into the bedroom and a bit crazy about the glasses, but people like you just shock me. How do you honestly get through a day? There are annoyances that we run into all the time. If a waiter at a restaurant accidentally brings the wrong dressing on your salad are you out of there? Or do you let them bring you another salad and fix the issue? I really would like to watch you move through life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

Wow. You seem to have a lot invested in this.

The water thing was enough, OP didn't need to provide the bigger picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

The water glasses encapsulate the whole problem nicely and only compulsive fault-finders could get mad about the story being told in that way.

The water glass thing on its own would be a quirk that could be ignored if other things were OK. It only "encapsulates the whole problem" if you know there's a larger problem for it to encapsulate...which we did not, because the big picture was just an afterthought to OP.

But points to you for doing that classic DCUM thing of instantly diagnosing a stranger based on one post! The only thing compulsive about me is my loathing for time-wasting OPs.

I hate to break it to you, but if your goal is not to waste time, you need to get off DCUM immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

That should be OP's face. She has valid complaints more serious than the water glass stupidity, yet only trickled them out 15 pages in.

Yea, no. PP’s rage over something that didn’t happen to her is insane. Completely bonkers.

Love how people here revert to criticizing those who point out that OP buried the lead.

It's lede.

And no she didn't. The water thing in and of itself was an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ime the older generation doesn’t understand the constant need to drink water. I swear some of my family are really camels. 8 8oz glasses of water a day was a recommendation within the last 2ish decades and I think has been debunked.

Normally I’d say that they view you having a glass of water out as leaving a mess. But that doesn’t explain the water bottle. That just seems vindictive because it’s not in their line of site and it’s not like they are missing a glass that needs to be washed.

The weird thing, to me, is going into a guest rooom and removing anythjng of a guest’s. That’s a strange boundary violation even for a daughter in law.

I must be one of the old camel people, though, and I am only 51. Honestly, this idea that we must be constantly sipping all day so we don’t get “dehydrated” is ridiculous unless you’re in Death Valley or something. As a kid, I think I drank from a hose maybe twice during a summer day, at most. It went to one water fountain a day and had a good few gulps at a time. We certainly were not allowed to have water bottles with us. At my first job, no one kept drinks in the desk all the time. You maybe went and got a cup of tea in the break room or something. At home, we had drinks at the table, in the kitchen, or while watching TV after dinner. Drink glasses on surfaces all day? No way.

I had an aunt like OP’s IL’s. You might offer someone a drink when they arrived for a visit and they have it in a coaster till then finished it, but then it was out way and no one hit a drink until the next meal or unless they went into the kitchen and drank something there. Glasses would be swept up immediately when finished.

It’s not personal, OP. They just don’t drink all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just drink your water, let them clean the cup then get a new one the next time you're thirsty. No need to keep glasses of water half drunk all over the house. Nobody is cutting the water off they are just cleaning up after you.

+1

+2. I mean they're not really keeping you from drinking water. They just don't want the glasses sitting around. Who knows, maybe they're worried about water rings on furniture. Whatever it is, this is pretty harmless in the scheme of things. Some of the PPs are taking this way too seriously.

I attend a large family gathering for multiple days each year. There is a cup/can/bottle explosion every year. All left around with 1/3 of liquid left in the bottom. And by the evening, there isn't a clean drinking vessel in the whole house. It creates a cluttered mess that results in spills and broken glass sometimes. So you know how if you "move your feet, lose your seat"? We have "move your a$$, lose your glass". We do make exceptions for seniors and pregnancy though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ime the older generation doesn’t understand the constant need to drink water. I swear some of my family are really camels. 8 8oz glasses of water a day was a recommendation within the last 2ish decades and I think has been debunked.

Normally I’d say that they view you having a glass of water out as leaving a mess. But that doesn’t explain the water bottle. That just seems vindictive because it’s not in their line of site and it’s not like they are missing a glass that needs to be washed.

The weird thing, to me, is going into a guest rooom and removing anythjng of a guest’s. That’s a strange boundary violation even for a daughter in law.

I must be one of the old camel people, though, and I am only 51. Honestly, this idea that we must be constantly sipping all day so we don’t get “dehydrated” is ridiculous unless you’re in Death Valley or something. As a kid, I think I drank from a hose maybe twice during a summer day, at most. It went to one water fountain a day and had a good few gulps at a time. We certainly were not allowed to have water bottles with us. At my first job, no one kept drinks in the desk all the time. You maybe went and got a cup of tea in the break room or something. At home, we had drinks at the table, in the kitchen, or while watching TV after dinner. Drink glasses on surfaces all day? No way.

I had an aunt like OP’s IL’s. You might offer someone a drink when they arrived for a visit and they have it in a coaster till then finished it, but then it was out way and no one hit a drink until the next meal or unless they went into the kitchen and drank something there. Glasses would be swept up immediately when finished.

It’s not personal, OP. They just don’t drink all day.

It's weird to go into the guest room because none of this happened. OP is trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

That should be OP's face. She has valid complaints more serious than the water glass stupidity, yet only trickled them out 15 pages in.

Yea, no. PP’s rage over something that didn’t happen to her is insane. Completely bonkers.

Love how people here revert to criticizing those who point out that OP buried the lead.

It's lede.

And no she didn't. The water thing in and of itself was an issue.

It's a troll people. Move on. There are no water stealing in-laws.

[Anonymous]

I SWEAR this lady reads DCUM for inspiration! lol same situation, beautifully recreated.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8RgbcfH/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

That should be OP's face. She has valid complaints more serious than the water glass stupidity, yet only trickled them out 15 pages in.

Yea, no. PP’s rage over something that didn’t happen to her is insane. Completely bonkers.

Love how people here revert to criticizing those who point out that OP buried the lead.

It's lede.

And no she didn't. The water thing in and of itself was an issue.

It's a troll people. Move on. There are no water stealing in-laws.

How do you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is going to lose her mind when the baby comes. Is she going to empty out and wash the bottles?

OP here. I guess we won’t be finding out, as DH and I left earlier than planned and have agreed that it’s best if we stay in a hotel going forward. We wouldn’t want MIL and FIL to be upset by any mess we might make with a new baby in their house. They can come to us, or perhaps we’ll stay with MIL’s sister, DH’s favorite aunt, who lives close to MIL. She’s a really easygoing hostess.

Thanks all for the perspectives!

So was it more than the water glasses that was causing a problem?

OP here. Yes, everything is so rigid. Everyone expected to sit in a circle and talk at all times, no breaks or even leafing through a magazine. No food outside of sparse, set meals with MIL loudly commenting on portions. No deviating from set plans, even if new opportunities or whims come up. Everything has to be done a certain way, you’re not even allowed to sleep with your door completely closed. We’ve had enough rigidity and have decided that it was one thing to walk on eggshells when it was just us, but we won’t be wasting our energy on that when baby is here.

No problem, they can visit us, or we can stay in a hotel, or we can stay with DH’s aunt who lives near them, and is so warm and accommodating.

So you buried the big picture under the one detail about water glasses. And you're only giving the real and infinitely more meaningful context above, now, many, many pages into this thread. If your communication and ability to identify actual issues are this weak, no wonder you can't cope or use words with MIL like an adult. I'm sure you feel so very aggrieved and right. I would have agreed with you, too--back on page one. But the choice to focus here on the water nonsense instead of telling us about the far larger totality of things is a sympathy-killer for me. Not that you care, of course! You've also now produced for us the wonderful aunt who solves the whole problem!

Why the F post in the first place?! Auntie didn't just materialize, and neither did your issues with MIL. But hey, the water glass anecdote was just too vivid to resist posting as if it were the main event!

That should be OP's face. She has valid complaints more serious than the water glass stupidity, yet only trickled them out 15 pages in.

Yea, no. PP’s rage over something that didn’t happen to her is insane. Completely bonkers.

Love how people here revert to criticizing those who point out that OP buried the lead.

It's lede.

And no she didn't. The water thing in and of itself was an issue.

It's a troll people. Move on. There are no water stealing in-laws.

How do you know?

See last post outing the troll
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/1141751.page