DD suddenly stops shaving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

Totally agree with this advice. Your instincts are right, and this is a red alert... No one loves your kid like you and her dad do. I would lovingly and calmly find out what her thinking is. Help her to see she is a beautiful human being -- inside and out -- and that fashion, how we groom, etc. communicates who we are within the current cultural context. We all don uniforms of sorts... What uniform is she trying to wear? Yes, fashions change, but what is the message she is signaling right now through this fashion choice? The uniform she chooses will also shape how she sees herself.

Ask what she thinks she's saying by not shaving. Then find out where this is coming from. Who or what has caused her to develop this philosophy? Someone from school? A friend? Someone on social media? Why does the source's opinion matter?

At best, maybe she's just afraid she'll cut herself with the razor. Who even likes to shave, right? At worst, someone could be lying to her about who she is as a young woman, and she has taken her first steps down a dangerous path. Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead.

This is the single sanest post on this thread.

"Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead." You mean the single most *insane* post on the thread?

No I actually think that point is exactly correct. I would be very concerned if my 15 YO DD appeared headed down this path.

What path?? Where does this lead? I want details.

Trans or lesbian

(Not that I am opposed to either, but those are the “paths” pp is scared of)

NP but some of you are unhinged.
Signed,
Straight not-too-hairy woman who doesn't shave, doesn't think not shaving means a girl is a lesbian but so what if she is, and certainly doesn't think not shaving is a slippery slope towards being talked into transitioning to male.

Great. So then, as the pp suggested, you should not fear or be opposed to a conversation with DD about why she chooses to present herself in this way. Reread PPs wise advice. This is reasonable for any caring parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

Totally agree with this advice. Your instincts are right, and this is a red alert... No one loves your kid like you and her dad do. I would lovingly and calmly find out what her thinking is. Help her to see she is a beautiful human being -- inside and out -- and that fashion, how we groom, etc. communicates who we are within the current cultural context. We all don uniforms of sorts... What uniform is she trying to wear? Yes, fashions change, but what is the message she is signaling right now through this fashion choice? The uniform she chooses will also shape how she sees herself.

Ask what she thinks she's saying by not shaving. Then find out where this is coming from. Who or what has caused her to develop this philosophy? Someone from school? A friend? Someone on social media? Why does the source's opinion matter?

At best, maybe she's just afraid she'll cut herself with the razor. Who even likes to shave, right? At worst, someone could be lying to her about who she is as a young woman, and she has taken her first steps down a dangerous path. Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead.

This is the single sanest post on this thread.

"Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead." You mean the single most *insane* post on the thread?

No I actually think that point is exactly correct. I would be very concerned if my 15 YO DD appeared headed down this path.

What path?? Where does this lead? I want details.

Trans or lesbian

(Not that I am opposed to either, but those are the “paths” pp is scared of)

NP but some of you are unhinged.
Signed,
Straight not-too-hairy woman who doesn't shave, doesn't think not shaving means a girl is a lesbian but so what if she is, and certainly doesn't think not shaving is a slippery slope towards being talked into transitioning to male.

Great. So then, as the pp suggested, you should not fear or be opposed to a conversation with DD about why she chooses to present herself in this way. Reread PPs wise advice. This is reasonable for any caring parent

OP should not fear or be opposed to DD doing whatever the hell she wants with her own body. This is reasonable for any caring parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

Totally agree with this advice. Your instincts are right, and this is a red alert... No one loves your kid like you and her dad do. I would lovingly and calmly find out what her thinking is. Help her to see she is a beautiful human being -- inside and out -- and that fashion, how we groom, etc. communicates who we are within the current cultural context. We all don uniforms of sorts... What uniform is she trying to wear? Yes, fashions change, but what is the message she is signaling right now through this fashion choice? The uniform she chooses will also shape how she sees herself.

Ask what she thinks she's saying by not shaving. Then find out where this is coming from. Who or what has caused her to develop this philosophy? Someone from school? A friend? Someone on social media? Why does the source's opinion matter?

At best, maybe she's just afraid she'll cut herself with the razor. Who even likes to shave, right? At worst, someone could be lying to her about who she is as a young woman, and she has taken her first steps down a dangerous path. Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead.

This is the single sanest post on this thread.

"Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead." You mean the single most *insane* post on the thread?

No I actually think that point is exactly correct. I would be very concerned if my 15 YO DD appeared headed down this path.

What path?? Where does this lead? I want details.

Trans or lesbian

(Not that I am opposed to either, but those are the “paths” pp is scared of)

NP but some of you are unhinged.
Signed,
Straight not-too-hairy woman who doesn't shave, doesn't think not shaving means a girl is a lesbian but so what if she is, and certainly doesn't think not shaving is a slippery slope towards being talked into transitioning to male.

Great. So then, as the pp suggested, you should not fear or be opposed to a conversation with DD about why she chooses to present herself in this way. Reread PPs wise advice. This is reasonable for any caring parent

OP should not fear or be opposed to DD doing whatever the hell she wants with her own body. This is reasonable for any caring parent.

Are you freaking kidding? I do hope you’re not a mom.

[Anonymous]

I stopped shaving for a year in college. I'm a cis het woman. I just thought it was weird that our society wants women to look pre-pubescent.

But OP I do get it . . . when my teen wears the SAME pajama pants that I wore, I think, "Oh, you can't wear REAL pants?" It's just how it always goes with youth and parents.

I don't think this one is a big deal. How humans wear their hair and assign it gendered meaning is really arbitrary. Let your kid navigate her relationship with society at large without you censoring her, at least over small stuff.

[Anonymous]

There is no way I would let DD out in public unshaven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped shaving for a year in college. I'm a cis het woman. I just thought it was weird that our society wants women to look pre-pubescent.

But OP I do get it . . . when my teen wears the SAME pajama pants that I wore, I think, "Oh, you can't wear REAL pants?" It's just how it always goes with youth and parents.

I don't think this one is a big deal. How humans wear their hair and assign it gendered meaning is really arbitrary. Let your kid navigate her relationship with society at large without you censoring her, at least over small stuff.

She’s 15. She needs guidance from her mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped shaving for a year in college. I'm a cis het woman. I just thought it was weird that our society wants women to look pre-pubescent.

But OP I do get it . . . when my teen wears the SAME pajama pants that I wore, I think, "Oh, you can't wear REAL pants?" It's just how it always goes with youth and parents.

I don't think this one is a big deal. How humans wear their hair and assign it gendered meaning is really arbitrary. Let your kid navigate her relationship with society at large without you censoring her, at least over small stuff.

She’s 15. She needs guidance from her mother

Her body, her choice.

As long as a parent has provided guidance on how to shave and has provided the necessary tools, the parent's job is done.

My 15 yo DD doesn't shave during the winter at all. That's her choice. Is it a choice I would make? No, because prickly legs and arms bug me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped shaving for a year in college. I'm a cis het woman. I just thought it was weird that our society wants women to look pre-pubescent.

But OP I do get it . . . when my teen wears the SAME pajama pants that I wore, I think, "Oh, you can't wear REAL pants?" It's just how it always goes with youth and parents.

I don't think this one is a big deal. How humans wear their hair and assign it gendered meaning is really arbitrary. Let your kid navigate her relationship with society at large without you censoring her, at least over small stuff.

She’s 15. She needs guidance from her mother

Her body, her choice.

As long as a parent has provided guidance on how to shave and has provided the necessary tools, the parent's job is done.

My 15 yo DD doesn't shave during the winter at all. That's her choice. Is it a choice I would make? No, because prickly legs and arms bug me.

That’s not guidance. Agree with those who say OP needs to have a deeper conversation with DD

[Anonymous]

Forcing or shaming your kid into shaving won't make her straight or cis if she isn't. Just let it go...of all the ways she could rebel this is a great one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way I would let DD out in public unshaven.

That's odd.

It's so weird, people don't want their kids to have sex young, and then when their dds do something that will result in them being less sexually desirable they are irritated. Make up your minds people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a personal question and you kept pressing. Stop being critical.

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

+1. If nothing else it's poor hygiene and looks dirty. I put it in the same category of - you must shower, you must wash your hair, you must keep yourself clean and presentable looking.

I wouldn't push right off the bat, but I would start a conversation and let her know that this is something that, as an adult, she needs to take care of.

No, it isn’t, and I sure hope you apply these exact same standards to boys.

DP but I would prefer my son shaved his armpits. I don’t insist because I have no idea what’s common among boys his age.

Why would you prefer that? I shave but shaving increases the risk of infection and has no actual health benefits. It's much better to just wash with soap.

Mostly shaving off the old smelly hair (no matter how well you wash it, esp if a teen boy, there’s certain residue)
Also don’t really like the look
Most if not all of my boyfriends used to shave their armpit hair too so I assumed it was the norm
Not sure what it is now. Maybe teenage boys prefer to look manly?

Did you only date boys on the swim team? This is amazing to me otherwise.

I find men's hairy armpits so incredibly sexy. It's the only reason to watch NBA games lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way I would let DD out in public unshaven.

You're going to lock her in the house? She can't go to school? How are you going to keep a 15 year old isolated? This isn't Rapunzel.

[Anonymous]

My dd has precocious puberty. She had underarm hair in 3rd grade. I tried to help her keep up with shaving because I knew she would get ridiculed by some ill mannered boy. Sure enough she raised her hand in class and a boy saw and started laughing at her. 5th grade now and she still won’t wear a tank top even though she shaves under her arms. Her legs have sparse blonde hair luckily so she doesn’t shave them.

It’s interesting that the trend of shaving all pubic hair turned into not shaving anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way I would let DD out in public unshaven.

People saying stuff like this just haven’t encountered this or will never have to think about it. You have conforming kids. If you didn’t, you would indeed let them out in public because presumably you love your kid and want them to feel comfortable with themselves. Just be kind to non-conforming kids and their parents, please. Their body hair doesn’t affect you one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a personal question and you kept pressing. Stop being critical.

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

+1. If nothing else it's poor hygiene and looks dirty. I put it in the same category of - you must shower, you must wash your hair, you must keep yourself clean and presentable looking.

I wouldn't push right off the bat, but I would start a conversation and let her know that this is something that, as an adult, she needs to take care of.

If this is the case, then she should probably shave her head hair, too. Presumably, she is washing underarms, probably more frequently than her head hair, so nope, granny, this is not a hygiene issue. YOU are maybe the hygiene issue here.

I had chemo where you lose every hair on your body. You learn there is actually some hair that helps with hygiene. Nasal hair, eyebrows, pubic hair. Leg and under arm hair didnt matter.