Asking guests to walk between ceremony and reception

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the midst of planning a summer wedding. Our ceremony and reception are at different venues but the two are a ten minute walk from each other (five minute drive) and both in downtown DC. My usual instinct is that when a wedding has two venues, it's incumbent upon the hosts to provide transportation but I'm not sure if that's true here.
Would it be unreasonable to ask guests to walk from one venue to the next? Or otherwise make their own way?
I have not made my mind up either way so would love advice on balance cost (of transportation) and etiquette.

I've never been to a wedding that provided transportation to guests to a reception from the ceremony. Ever. And I don't think I've ever been to a wedding on the same premises as a ceremony. Maybe provide it to elderly or if you know someone has a health issue but the vast majority can figure it out.

Then you’ve only been to some cheap a** weddings. 🤔

+1

Exactly this. OP has to be a troll, or really has not been to as many weddings as she thinks.

OP, your best bet us to ask someone who has been both innand actually part of 30+ weddings, because you have been getting some terrible information.

No transportation = cheap ass.

First of all, you both are condescending, smug little pricks. "Cheap a-- weddings?" Well, aren't you a peach.

Second of all, I come from a large family, with many weddings, as well as have been in at LEAST 8 weddings as an adult (not including flower girls as a child). And I've attended dozens more as a guest. In only 1 was transportation provided and that was a trolley to the wedding party only. All weddings were at a religious houses (church or synagogue) and party offset at a variety of types of venues.

My husband - same on his side.

So the exception may be you.

I've been to well over a hundred weddings in my lifetime and not one has been at multiple venues.

NP: I truly don't understand this. Are you saying that you've been to 100 weddings and each wedding ceremony was held in the same location as the reception afterwards?! I have only been at a shared ceremony/reception wedding in just a few cases - like on a beach or in a restaurant - but 99% have been held at two different venues. I've been provided transportation from a hotel to a church and then to the reception, and I've been shuttled around as a member of the wedding party, but I've never once been provided transport just from the ceremony to the reception and back again.

Yes, they’ve always been in the same place. Always.
Generally a hotel, but I’ve also attended weddings at restaurants, clubs, museums and even a baseball stadium.

I’d find it very odd to be expected to go to a different venue.

You have never been to a church wedding?

No

Church weddings aren't really a thing anymore. Maybe 30+ years ago, but not now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Yes. Jewish people usually have their wedding in one place. Christian people usually have their wedding ceremony in one place, and their reception in another, traditionally.

However, the current 20 and 30-somethings are more often having their wedding in one place, as they are not really attending church, and their grandparents' (to whom the ceremony may or may not matter, depending if the grandparent/s regularly attend church or not; also depending if if the grandparent/s are looking to pass on their own personal religion of their own upbringing - if not, the ceremony is a non-issue) church is usually in a different part of the country, altogether. Instead of marrying at their grandparents' church, they just marry in one place, because there are plenty of places to accommodate that - places that actually have parking, that is. Parents who have kids' of marrying age really could not care less, from my experience, especially if they have converted or fallen off of religion, along the way.

But then, I don't know of anyone who has wedding ceremonies or receptions where there is not enough parking, because that is just ridiculous. Right OP?

Do churches not have reception halls and kitchens?
The majority of the Jewish weddings I’ve attended have been at hotels but many have been at synagogues and they can have a large, elegant reception there.
I can’t imagine expecting my guests to travel to a different venue.
In fact, at many Jewish weddings, there is a significant break between the ceremony and the reception because that is when photos are taken. This actually would enable guests to travel to another location but it’s just not done. Usually there’s an interim cocktail reception with live music to keep the guests fed and entertained while the family and wedding party are doing photos.

Church halls are usually what one might imagine a gymnasium to look like (as there are often schools on church grounds), or maybe a church basement, which is not fancy - at least not fancy enough for a wedding reception, and definitely not as nice as a hotel might be.

But, that said, if transportation is an issue, then it is easy to presume that money is an issue, so OP might consider having the reception at the church. Alternatively, the ceremony can just take place at the reception venue. It seems like that would save the guests a big fat headache.

[Anonymous]

I have been to dozens of wedding- was a MOH or bridesmaid in 9 weddings. In nearly every one, ceremony and venue were in different places. Maybe two or there used the parish hall or the ceremony was outside of a church. The only one that had transportation was my own. We hired a shuttle service.

Let people drive, Uber or figure it out or if you can afford it, hire a service.

You can provide helpful instructions in invitation.

[Anonymous]

If you know you’ll be walking from the service to the reception, why would you wear heels? And why is walking more uncomfortable than standing for however long the cocktail hour is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been to dozens of wedding- was a MOH or bridesmaid in 9 weddings. In nearly every one, ceremony and venue were in different places. Maybe two or there used the parish hall or the ceremony was outside of a church. The only one that had transportation was my own. We hired a shuttle service.

Let people drive, Uber or figure it out or if you can afford it, hire a service.

You can provide helpful instructions in invitation.

Like I said before, no one wants to attend your wedding this badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you know you’ll be walking from the service to the reception, why would you wear heels? And why is walking more uncomfortable than standing for however long the cocktail hour is?

Yeah, no, if I'm at the point where I'm planning my outfit around work the happy couple expects me to do, or comparing one discomfort at the wedding to another, I'm just not going to go.
Maybe act like you want people to come and have a good time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been to dozens of wedding- was a MOH or bridesmaid in 9 weddings. In nearly every one, ceremony and venue were in different places. Maybe two or there used the parish hall or the ceremony was outside of a church. The only one that had transportation was my own. We hired a shuttle service.

Let people drive, Uber or figure it out or if you can afford it, hire a service.

You can provide helpful instructions in invitation.[/quote
Like I said before, no one wants to attend your wedding this badly.

+1

I feel like OP is only considering that the 20 and 30-somethings don't mind - and maybe providing one or two old people transport, but to hell with everyone else in between - who is likely to be most of the guests.

Plan better, OP. You have been given some great suggestions, including transport service names. I can't imagine what the issue would be, especially if there is no parking available. Isn't there a reputable wedding planner who might be able to help? Second thought, put that money toward a transport service. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Yes. Jewish people usually have their wedding in one place. Christian people usually have their wedding ceremony in one place, and their reception in another, traditionally.

However, the current 20 and 30-somethings are more often having their wedding in one place, as they are not really attending church, and their grandparents' (to whom the ceremony may or may not matter, depending if the grandparent/s regularly attend church or not; also depending if if the grandparent/s are looking to pass on their own personal religion of their own upbringing - if not, the ceremony is a non-issue) church is usually in a different part of the country, altogether. Instead of marrying at their grandparents' church, they just marry in one place, because there are plenty of places to accommodate that - places that actually have parking, that is. Parents who have kids' of marrying age really could not care less, from my experience, especially if they have converted or fallen off of religion, along the way.

But then, I don't know of anyone who has wedding ceremonies or receptions where there is not enough parking, because that is just ridiculous. Right OP?

Do churches not have reception halls and kitchens?
The majority of the Jewish weddings I’ve attended have been at hotels but many have been at synagogues and they can have a large, elegant reception there.
I can’t imagine expecting my guests to travel to a different venue.
In fact, at many Jewish weddings, there is a significant break between the ceremony and the reception because that is when photos are taken. This actually would enable guests to travel to another location but it’s just not done. Usually there’s an interim cocktail reception with live music to keep the guests fed and entertained while the family and wedding party are doing photos.

I know my church (when I married 25 years ago) did not . Even it did, they held 3 weddings each Saturday, 2 hours apart. So unless I could get my reception over and done with in 30 minutes or less, our guests would have had to move their cars from the parking lot anyway.

My current church has a large room that resembles a school cafeteria. They sell coffee and donuts there after Sunday services, and people stand around and socialize. I guess it's possible some couples hold a reception there, but I've never heard of them doing so-and definitely not where I would want a reception.

One of my best friends from high school is Mormon, so she married in a Mormon Temple--only worthy Mormons are allowed to attend ceremonies in the temple, so many of her guests did not attend the marriage ceremony, but did attend the reception. Obviously she had a separate venue for her reception too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you know you’ll be walking from the service to the reception, why would you wear heels? And why is walking more uncomfortable than standing for however long the cocktail hour is?

Because walking any distance in the summer in Washington DC is a miserable exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Yes. Jewish people usually have their wedding in one place. Christian people usually have their wedding ceremony in one place, and their reception in another, traditionally.

However, the current 20 and 30-somethings are more often having their wedding in one place, as they are not really attending church, and their grandparents' (to whom the ceremony may or may not matter, depending if the grandparent/s regularly attend church or not; also depending if if the grandparent/s are looking to pass on their own personal religion of their own upbringing - if not, the ceremony is a non-issue) church is usually in a different part of the country, altogether. Instead of marrying at their grandparents' church, they just marry in one place, because there are plenty of places to accommodate that - places that actually have parking, that is. Parents who have kids' of marrying age really could not care less, from my experience, especially if they have converted or fallen off of religion, along the way.

But then, I don't know of anyone who has wedding ceremonies or receptions where there is not enough parking, because that is just ridiculous. Right OP?

Do churches not have reception halls and kitchens?
The majority of the Jewish weddings I’ve attended have been at hotels but many have been at synagogues and they can have a large, elegant reception there.
I can’t imagine expecting my guests to travel to a different venue.
In fact, at many Jewish weddings, there is a significant break between the ceremony and the reception because that is when photos are taken. This actually would enable guests to travel to another location but it’s just not done. Usually there’s an interim cocktail reception with live music to keep the guests fed and entertained while the family and wedding party are doing photos.

I know my church (when I married 25 years ago) did not . Even it did, they held 3 weddings each Saturday, 2 hours apart. So unless I could get my reception over and done with in 30 minutes or less, our guests would have had to move their cars from the parking lot anyway.

My current church has a large room that resembles a school cafeteria. They sell coffee and donuts there after Sunday services, and people stand around and socialize. I guess it's possible some couples hold a reception there, but I've never heard of them doing so-and definitely not where I would want a reception.

One of my best friends from high school is Mormon, so she married in a Mormon Temple--only worthy Mormons are allowed to attend ceremonies in the temple, so many of her guests did not attend the marriage ceremony, but did attend the reception. Obviously she had a separate venue for her reception too.

That’s really weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Yes. Jewish people usually have their wedding in one place. Christian people usually have their wedding ceremony in one place, and their reception in another, traditionally.

However, the current 20 and 30-somethings are more often having their wedding in one place, as they are not really attending church, and their grandparents' (to whom the ceremony may or may not matter, depending if the grandparent/s regularly attend church or not; also depending if if the grandparent/s are looking to pass on their own personal religion of their own upbringing - if not, the ceremony is a non-issue) church is usually in a different part of the country, altogether. Instead of marrying at their grandparents' church, they just marry in one place, because there are plenty of places to accommodate that - places that actually have parking, that is. Parents who have kids' of marrying age really could not care less, from my experience, especially if they have converted or fallen off of religion, along the way.

But then, I don't know of anyone who has wedding ceremonies or receptions where there is not enough parking, because that is just ridiculous. Right OP?

Do churches not have reception halls and kitchens?
The majority of the Jewish weddings I’ve attended have been at hotels but many have been at synagogues and they can have a large, elegant reception there.
I can’t imagine expecting my guests to travel to a different venue.
In fact, at many Jewish weddings, there is a significant break between the ceremony and the reception because that is when photos are taken. This actually would enable guests to travel to another location but it’s just not done. Usually there’s an interim cocktail reception with live music to keep the guests fed and entertained while the family and wedding party are doing photos.

I know my church (when I married 25 years ago) did not . Even it did, they held 3 weddings each Saturday, 2 hours apart. So unless I could get my reception over and done with in 30 minutes or less, our guests would have had to move their cars from the parking lot anyway.

My current church has a large room that resembles a school cafeteria. They sell coffee and donuts there after Sunday services, and people stand around and socialize. I guess it's possible some couples hold a reception there, but I've never heard of them doing so-and definitely not where I would want a reception.

One of my best friends from high school is Mormon, so she married in a Mormon Temple--only worthy Mormons are allowed to attend ceremonies in the temple, so many of her guests did not attend the marriage ceremony, but did attend the reception. Obviously she had a separate venue for her reception too.

That’s really weird.

Coffee and donuts after Sunday service is "really weird?" It's pretty standard.

[Anonymous]

OP, you gonna tell us what the issue is, exactly?

Lack of funds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the midst of planning a summer wedding. Our ceremony and reception are at different venues but the two are a ten minute walk from each other (five minute drive) and both in downtown DC. My usual instinct is that when a wedding has two venues, it's incumbent upon the hosts to provide transportation but I'm not sure if that's true here.
Would it be unreasonable to ask guests to walk from one venue to the next? Or otherwise make their own way?
I have not made my mind up either way so would love advice on balance cost (of transportation) and etiquette.

I've never been to a wedding that provided transportation to guests to a reception from the ceremony. Ever. And I don't think I've ever been to a wedding on the same premises as a ceremony. Maybe provide it to elderly or if you know someone has a health issue but the vast majority can figure it out.

Then you’ve only been to some cheap a** weddings. 🤔

+1

Exactly this. OP has to be a troll, or really has not been to as many weddings as she thinks.

OP, your best bet us to ask someone who has been both innand actually part of 30+ weddings, because you have been getting some terrible information.

No transportation = cheap ass.

First of all, you both are condescending, smug little pricks. "Cheap a-- weddings?" Well, aren't you a peach.

Second of all, I come from a large family, with many weddings, as well as have been in at LEAST 8 weddings as an adult (not including flower girls as a child). And I've attended dozens more as a guest. In only 1 was transportation provided and that was a trolley to the wedding party only. All weddings were at a religious houses (church or synagogue) and party offset at a variety of types of venues.

My husband - same on his side.

So the exception may be you.

I've been to well over a hundred weddings in my lifetime and not one has been at multiple venues.

NP: I truly don't understand this. Are you saying that you've been to 100 weddings and each wedding ceremony was held in the same location as the reception afterwards?! I have only been at a shared ceremony/reception wedding in just a few cases - like on a beach or in a restaurant - but 99% have been held at two different venues. I've been provided transportation from a hotel to a church and then to the reception, and I've been shuttled around as a member of the wedding party, but I've never once been provided transport just from the ceremony to the reception and back again.

Yes, they’ve always been in the same place. Always.
Generally a hotel, but I’ve also attended weddings at restaurants, clubs, museums and even a baseball stadium.

I’d find it very odd to be expected to go to a different venue.

You have never been to a church wedding?

No

Church weddings aren't really a thing anymore. Maybe 30+ years ago, but not now.

Lol to you maybe.

This whole thread is bonkers because it's people from different cultures not understanding one and other. This is 1000% a cultural thing.

I'm Episcopalian, my husband is Catholic. We both have large families and lots of weddings. They are always, always two locations. First church then venue, normally a country club.

We went to college in California, most of our friends are not religious. The weddings we go to for that group are all at one venue.

Personally I wouldn't think twice if I was asked to walk ten minutes. I also wouldn't be surprised if they provided transport.

[Anonymous]

I would not want to walk to and from the reception. Provide transportation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Yes. Jewish people usually have their wedding in one place. Christian people usually have their wedding ceremony in one place, and their reception in another, traditionally.

However, the current 20 and 30-somethings are more often having their wedding in one place, as they are not really attending church, and their grandparents' (to whom the ceremony may or may not matter, depending if the grandparent/s regularly attend church or not; also depending if if the grandparent/s are looking to pass on their own personal religion of their own upbringing - if not, the ceremony is a non-issue) church is usually in a different part of the country, altogether. Instead of marrying at their grandparents' church, they just marry in one place, because there are plenty of places to accommodate that - places that actually have parking, that is. Parents who have kids' of marrying age really could not care less, from my experience, especially if they have converted or fallen off of religion, along the way.

But then, I don't know of anyone who has wedding ceremonies or receptions where there is not enough parking, because that is just ridiculous. Right OP?

Do churches not have reception halls and kitchens?
The majority of the Jewish weddings I’ve attended have been at hotels but many have been at synagogues and they can have a large, elegant reception there.
I can’t imagine expecting my guests to travel to a different venue.
In fact, at many Jewish weddings, there is a significant break between the ceremony and the reception because that is when photos are taken. This actually would enable guests to travel to another location but it’s just not done. Usually there’s an interim cocktail reception with live music to keep the guests fed and entertained while the family and wedding party are doing photos.

I know my church (when I married 25 years ago) did not . Even it did, they held 3 weddings each Saturday, 2 hours apart. So unless I could get my reception over and done with in 30 minutes or less, our guests would have had to move their cars from the parking lot anyway.

My current church has a large room that resembles a school cafeteria. They sell coffee and donuts there after Sunday services, and people stand around and socialize. I guess it's possible some couples hold a reception there, but I've never heard of them doing so-and definitely not where I would want a reception.

One of my best friends from high school is Mormon, so she married in a Mormon Temple--only worthy Mormons are allowed to attend ceremonies in the temple, so many of her guests did not attend the marriage ceremony, but did attend the reception. Obviously she had a separate venue for her reception too.

That’s really weird.

Coffee and donuts after Sunday service is "really weird?" It's pretty standard.

I think PP meant the selling part, which I also find pretty weird. No selling during coffee hour at my church.

To bring things back (somewhat) on topic, I’ve been to my share of church hall receptions in the past, but they seem to have fallen out of favor.