Asking guests to walk between ceremony and reception

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in the midst of planning a summer wedding. Our ceremony and reception are at different venues but the two are a ten minute walk from each other (five minute drive) and both in downtown DC. My usual instinct is that when a wedding has two venues, it's incumbent upon the hosts to provide transportation but I'm not sure if that's true here.
Would it be unreasonable to ask guests to walk from one venue to the next? Or otherwise make their own way?
I have not made my mind up either way so would love advice on balance cost (of transportation) and etiquette.

Offer to pay for Ubers for anyone unwilling to walk or drive between the venues. Its kind of ridiculous to expect Great Auntie Tilly to hoof it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a wedding professional, and it sounds like a horrible idea. It can be over 100 degrees in summer in DC, and shade is in short supply. People will be wearing heels and uncomfortable clothing, and not clothing they want to sweat in. They'll arrive to your reception, if they arrive at all, drenched in sweat. Plus, weddings usually have a lot of older folks, who shouldn't walk 20 feet in those conditions, much less 10 minutes (which could take them 20 or more).

I guess you've probably already paid for the venues and it's too late to change it. So the solution is for you to provide air-conditioned transportation door-to-door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the actual distance? Not your exaggerated travel time.

This is probably key here. Ten minutes for a young person in sneakers, on a cool day, is not the same for anyone else. I think if 100 yards or maybe 1 block then anyone but the disabled or elderly can walk it. Beyond that, I'd say absolutely not, for anyone, in summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the midst of planning a summer wedding. Our ceremony and reception are at different venues but the two are a ten minute walk from each other (five minute drive) and both in downtown DC. My usual instinct is that when a wedding has two venues, it's incumbent upon the hosts to provide transportation but I'm not sure if that's true here.
Would it be unreasonable to ask guests to walk from one venue to the next? Or otherwise make their own way?
I have not made my mind up either way so would love advice on balance cost (of transportation) and etiquette.

I've never been to a wedding that provided transportation to guests to a reception from the ceremony. Ever. And I don't think I've ever been to a wedding on the same premises as a ceremony. Maybe provide it to elderly or if you know someone has a health issue but the vast majority can figure it out.

Then you’ve only been to some cheap a** weddings. 🤔

+1

Exactly this. OP has to be a troll, or really has not been to as many weddings as she thinks.

OP, your best bet us to ask someone who has been both innand actually part of 30+ weddings, because you have been getting some terrible information.

No transportation = cheap ass.

First of all, you both are condescending, smug little pricks. "Cheap a-- weddings?" Well, aren't you a peach.

Second of all, I come from a large family, with many weddings, as well as have been in at LEAST 8 weddings as an adult (not including flower girls as a child). And I've attended dozens more as a guest. In only 1 was transportation provided and that was a trolley to the wedding party only. All weddings were at a religious houses (church or synagogue) and party offset at a variety of types of venues.

My husband - same on his side.

So the exception may be you.

Whoa. OP is showing some true colors here. Point is, don't be cheap, OP. And don't try ot find a way to stick it to the guests. Provide transportation for everyone or no one.

I'm not OP. And, as many other people on this discussion have agreed with me, reception/ceremony in the same venue is not typical. Nor is providing transportation. And criticizing those norms as "cheap ass- weddings" is offensive and insulting. So I stand by the smug pricks comment. You folks need to get out of your bubble a bit more and realize that other people do things differently and "cheap" has nothing to do with it.

But is there decent parking??? Why is OP avoiding this simple question??

Because there is no parking, or none that is guaranteed and within a reasonable distance. DC parking is almost non-existent, and if it exists, it's still bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a wedding professional, and it sounds like a horrible idea. It can be over 100 degrees in summer in DC, and shade is in short supply. People will be wearing heels and uncomfortable clothing, and not clothing they want to sweat in. They'll arrive to your reception, if they arrive at all, drenched in sweat. Plus, weddings usually have a lot of older folks, who shouldn't walk 20 feet in those conditions, much less 10 minutes (which could take them 20 or more).

I guess you've probably already paid for the venues and it's too late to change it. So the solution is for you to provide air-conditioned transportation door-to-door.

+1

DP here. The older folks will be given transport, and the others will be left to fend for themselves - that is why OP is not coming back and commenting. That is how OP's wedding is going to be remembered, no matter what people say to OP (before, during or after the wedding). Normally, brides want all their guest to be comfortable, and apply the rules across the board (there are other "hot topics" about weddings in this vein, but I do not want to derail OP's original question).

Most weddings are mostly young people, or guests are about the age of the couple, depending on the family circumstances. [If the bride or groom has a terminally ill parent, for example, the bride and groom might want to invite mostly those people who are important to the parents (if they have a loving relationship with the bride and groom)].

So, having mostly young people, OP thinks only the oldest guests matter, and that is quite rude, as most people who need transport do not want to announce their health issues. It looks like OP is choosing to ignore this significant matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a wedding professional, and it sounds like a horrible idea. It can be over 100 degrees in summer in DC, and shade is in short supply. People will be wearing heels and uncomfortable clothing, and not clothing they want to sweat in. They'll arrive to your reception, if they arrive at all, drenched in sweat. Plus, weddings usually have a lot of older folks, who shouldn't walk 20 feet in those conditions, much less 10 minutes (which could take them 20 or more).

I guess you've probably already paid for the venues and it's too late to change it. So the solution is for you to provide air-conditioned transportation door-to-door.

x1 million

Or your guests will hate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Don't think so. The most ultra religious people we know got married in a barn.

Priests/ministers/rabbis/imams have legs. They are portable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the midst of planning a summer wedding. Our ceremony and reception are at different venues but the two are a ten minute walk from each other (five minute drive) and both in downtown DC. My usual instinct is that when a wedding has two venues, it's incumbent upon the hosts to provide transportation but I'm not sure if that's true here.
Would it be unreasonable to ask guests to walk from one venue to the next? Or otherwise make their own way?
I have not made my mind up either way so would love advice on balance cost (of transportation) and etiquette.

I've never been to a wedding that provided transportation to guests to a reception from the ceremony. Ever. And I don't think I've ever been to a wedding on the same premises as a ceremony. Maybe provide it to elderly or if you know someone has a health issue but the vast majority can figure it out.

Then you’ve only been to some cheap a** weddings. 🤔

+1

Exactly this. OP has to be a troll, or really has not been to as many weddings as she thinks.

OP, your best bet us to ask someone who has been both innand actually part of 30+ weddings, because you have been getting some terrible information.

No transportation = cheap ass.

First of all, you both are condescending, smug little pricks. "Cheap a-- weddings?" Well, aren't you a peach.

Second of all, I come from a large family, with many weddings, as well as have been in at LEAST 8 weddings as an adult (not including flower girls as a child). And I've attended dozens more as a guest. In only 1 was transportation provided and that was a trolley to the wedding party only. All weddings were at a religious houses (church or synagogue) and party offset at a variety of types of venues.

My husband - same on his side.

So the exception may be you.

Whoa. OP is showing some true colors here. Point is, don't be cheap, OP. And don't try ot find a way to stick it to the guests. Provide transportation for everyone or no one.

I'm not OP. And, as many other people on this discussion have agreed with me, reception/ceremony in the same venue is not typical. Nor is providing transportation. And criticizing those norms as "cheap ass- weddings" is offensive and insulting. So I stand by the smug pricks comment. You folks need to get out of your bubble a bit more and realize that other people do things differently and "cheap" has nothing to do with it.

But is there decent parking??? Why is OP avoiding this simple question??

Because there is no parking, or none that is guaranteed and within a reasonable distance. DC parking is almost non-existent, and if it exists, it's still bad.

Okay, so if this is the case - OP needs to provide transportation - why is she looking for an out? Too cheap?

OP, you need to accommodate ALL of your guests, not make them suffer - they are already sacrificing to some degree by dressing up and joining you, and you SHOULD care about that.

What applies to one, applies to all - you don't just leave guests in the lurch - that would be just plain rude.

[Anonymous]

A friend had a wedding procession from the small church to the restaurant. Everyone walked together and strangers cheered and honked horns. However, it was May and only three blocks. I was a decade younger and didn’t have cancer. I think I’d find it less charming now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend had a wedding procession from the small church to the restaurant. Everyone walked together and strangers cheered and honked horns. However, it was May and only three blocks. I was a decade younger and didn’t have cancer. I think I’d find it less charming now.

Yeah, once you hit 40 and have ailments that are not visible, not do you want to announce them - things are VERY different.

It is not just the 90 year olds that need a ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Don't think so. The most ultra religious people we know got married in a barn.

Priests/ministers/rabbis/imams have legs. They are portable.

A Catholic priest is not celebrating a mass in a barn and for some couples having a mass is an important part of the wedding ceremony. A priest won't do that anywhere but inside a church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a wedding professional, and it sounds like a horrible idea. It can be over 100 degrees in summer in DC, and shade is in short supply. People will be wearing heels and uncomfortable clothing, and not clothing they want to sweat in. They'll arrive to your reception, if they arrive at all, drenched in sweat. Plus, weddings usually have a lot of older folks, who shouldn't walk 20 feet in those conditions, much less 10 minutes (which could take them 20 or more).

I guess you've probably already paid for the venues and it's too late to change it. So the solution is for you to provide air-conditioned transportation door-to-door.

NP and this calls for a party bus!

I was married in May 1999 and we rented an 18 passenger van with driver to get us to our reception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is multiple venues a Christian thing?
I’ve been to mostly Jewish weddings, and lots of them, and they’re always all in one place.

I went to one Christian wedding years ago where the ceremony was at a church and then we all had to go to some other place. I can’t remember how I got there. I was mostly stunned that I was wildly overdressed in a plain cocktail dress and that there was a cash bar.

Don't think so. The most ultra religious people we know got married in a barn.

Priests/ministers/rabbis/imams have legs. They are portable.

A Catholic priest is not celebrating a mass in a barn and for some couples having a mass is an important part of the wedding ceremony. A priest won't do that anywhere but inside a church.

+1

Catholicism is a whole different story - very strict. Episcopal, you can basically do what you want - that is why people "convert" (not even sure that entails anything, but showing up at a different church building when it is time to get married) - usually because they do not want to be bothered with all that Catholicism entails. Which is not the best reason to "convert", but some people value convenience over the actual religious teachings. But i think Episcopalian still makes you use the church facility. Jewish people, and other denominations often get married in the same venue as the reception. Not familiar with others offhand.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting - I feel like most weddings I’ve been to (or at least half) have had different locations for the ceremony and the reception. I’ve been to 4 (late spring / summer) weddings in DC area. One (suburban MD) everything was in one location, one (downtown DC) was a short (4-5 blocks). We took a cab to the ceremony and I don’t remember if we walked or cabbed between sites - I thought it was totally fine that we had to make our own way. One (VA just outside DC) was a short drive (no transportation provided) and the last had a kind of long / unusual gap. The ceremony was at a church from about 1-2 and the reception started at 5 elsewhere. I was pregnant at the time so very happy to go home and nap between the events!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is interesting - I feel like most weddings I’ve been to (or at least half) have had different locations for the ceremony and the reception. I’ve been to 4 (late spring / summer) weddings in DC area. One (suburban MD) everything was in one location, one (downtown DC) was a short (4-5 blocks). We took a cab to the ceremony and I don’t remember if we walked or cabbed between sites - I thought it was totally fine that we had to make our own way. One (VA just outside DC) was a short drive (no transportation provided) and the last had a kind of long / unusual gap. The ceremony was at a church from about 1-2 and the reception started at 5 elsewhere. I was pregnant at the time so very happy to go home and nap between the events!

This is fine if there are enough cabs/ubers - BUT if a normal sized wedding is getting out, and the guest need cabs/ubers all at the same time, the guests will probably be SOL, and that would not be considered fair or right or the the proper thing to do to your guests, where I am from. In which case - don't invite everyone, just invite the old people, and the bride and groom, if that is all the rides you want to provide.