So much disappointment this week

[Anonymous]

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I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

Armchair analysis. Unless you reviewed their applications you have no real idea how they stood out. You go for the easy thing by noting their ethnicity. Because your sense of entitlement makes you unable to imagine they might have something interesting or unique to offer beyond demographics.

I say this as a mother of an intellectually brilliant white kid who got rejected or wait listed to 5 of their top choices. It is what it is.

Ps it’s kind of creepy you know those kids’ grades.

Everyone knows everything. These kids blab and complain. As you can see from their failure to be elected to any class office, they were not well-liked or respected by classmates or teachers (one was kicked out of dc’s chem class basically). So clearly not great recs. Funny that you insist on thinking they have some hidden charms just bc they are Hispanic though.

Almost as funny as you assuming they only got in because they’re Hispanic.

Not PP but it’s hard to fathom any other reason these kids got in over the others. Just reading the stats leads one to that conclusion. I think many people underestimate how badly elite schools want Latinx students, especially those who are immigrants, 1st gen or 1st to college.

Yes, esp a school like NU, which is basically the middle of nowhere. They probably feel they have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get Hispanic kids. I posted abt them and 1 of them was also admitted to Wash U, which is similar to NU in some ways. They were rejected to Duke and Brown ED.

Did you just say call Chicago 'the middle of nowhere'?

I kind of agree, Evanston sucks and so does Chicago. Hated growing up there, hate the cold, the accents (had to take accent modification classes when I moved out east), and of the the violence. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

This is a sad post.

I hope your child has better luck on Ivy Day.

I would have DC contact their #1 school and let admissions know how how excited they were about school x and that they would absolutely accept an offer of admission. I’ve heard of schools waitlisting kids they think are using the school as a safety. I’m so sorry for your DC.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

The was a big error in your assumptions that many, many, many parents make. But statistically, applying to 10 schools with very low acceptance rates doesn't give your kid better odds of admission than applying to 1 school with very low acceptance rates.

Also "we" didn't apply; your kid did.

Actually, applying to 10 schools with very low acceptance rates does give a kid a better chance of admissions than applying to one, but not as much as people think.

If a kid applies to a school with a 5 percent acceptance rate, if we know nothing else about that kid (hooks, RD/ED, etc, stats, ECs), our best guess is that they have a 5% chance of getting in.

If a kid applies to 10 schools, each with a 5 percent acceptance rate, their chance of getting in to at least one school is NOT 10 x 5%--that is the error that many people make.

Again, without knowing anything else and assuming college decisions are "independent events"--that is, acceptance to one is not correlated with acceptance to another--their chance of getting in to at least one school is 1-the odds of not getting into any of the ten school = 1-95%^10 = 40 percent.

But here's the thing...and again, this is where people get in trouble--that 5% acceptance rate is the rate we all have to rely on but doesn't really tell us the odds for my kid based on their profile, nor does it tell you the odds for yours. In reality, the odds for my kid getting in during the ED round might be closer to 2%.

Even bright people do not grasp this.

The first page of this essay explains some of this pretty well.....

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This makes sense, but it seems hard to gauge if your kid has a .01 % shot or a 20% shot with the black box of holistic admissions. Many people are sharing that their kid had stats above average for a school and were rejected. and it is happening again and again as the rejections roll in.

Yep +1

It IS hard to gauge. So, I would argue, it makes sense to assume your kid is in the 0.1% category and plan accordingly.

Find a safety your kid can live with, preferably one with rolling admissions or EA, and your kid should make sure the school knows of their interest.

And make sure you, the parent, demonstrate interest as well. Your kid needs to see your interest. Don't indulge dream school nonsense.

My kid got waitlisted at Case Western. Her stats were far higher than CW's averages, but she didn't visit the school and didn't show any interest other than applying. I found it baffling, but I'm guessing they didn't want to increase their admit rate for a kid who is unlikely to attend?

Case deferred and then WL my high stats kid who did visit and show interest. Again, this process cannot be fully explained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

This is a sad post.

I hope your child has better luck on Ivy Day.

This happened to a family member. Encourage your child to find a coping mechanism to deal with unexpected rejection, go to the favorite safety, take the core, and apply to transfer to one of the schools he wants to go to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

This is a sad post.

I hope your child has better luck on Ivy Day.

This happened to a family member. Encourage your child to find a coping mechanism to deal with unexpected rejection, go to the favorite safety, take the core, and apply to transfer to one of the schools he wants to go to.

Best to not go in with this plan. Being a transfer student is really hard (once you get in).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

The was a big error in your assumptions that many, many, many parents make. But statistically, applying to 10 schools with very low acceptance rates doesn't give your kid better odds of admission than applying to 1 school with very low acceptance rates.

Also "we" didn't apply; your kid did.

Actually, applying to 10 schools with very low acceptance rates does give a kid a better chance of admissions than applying to one, but not as much as people think.

If a kid applies to a school with a 5 percent acceptance rate, if we know nothing else about that kid (hooks, RD/ED, etc, stats, ECs), our best guess is that they have a 5% chance of getting in.

If a kid applies to 10 schools, each with a 5 percent acceptance rate, their chance of getting in to at least one school is NOT 10 x 5%--that is the error that many people make.

Again, without knowing anything else and assuming college decisions are "independent events"--that is, acceptance to one is not correlated with acceptance to another--their chance of getting in to at least one school is 1-the odds of not getting into any of the ten school = 1-95%^10 = 40 percent.

But here's the thing...and again, this is where people get in trouble--that 5% acceptance rate is the rate we all have to rely on but doesn't really tell us the odds for my kid based on their profile, nor does it tell you the odds for yours. In reality, the odds for my kid getting in during the ED round might be closer to 2%.

Even bright people do not grasp this.

The first page of this essay explains some of this pretty well.....

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

Why do you always spam this forum to promote your business, under the guise of lowering the stress of high school students and their families???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

This is a sad post.

I hope your child has better luck on Ivy Day.

This happened to a family member. Encourage your child to find a coping mechanism to deal with unexpected rejection, go to the favorite safety, take the core, and apply to transfer to one of the schools he wants to go to.

For Pete sakes. “A coping mechanism to deal with unexpected rejection?” Is it you that is this weak, pp, or the student?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

This is a sad post.

I hope your child has better luck on Ivy Day.

I say this with kindness that if you aren’t happy with his choices, to some extent you are telegraphing that to others. It’s like when there is a project at work that has a fire drill, if the person comes in with the attitude that all is lost, everyone panics and it amps up the emotions, if you come in calm and assured, that puts the focus on moving forward. You also have the option to say that he doesn’t know yet where he is going - that’s what I say because decisions are still coming in and I want to let my child decide what disappointments with waitlists etc that they choose to share. Also, given that many private colleges are upwards of 70K per year, people understand that kids will pick where their family can afford and what might be the better choice for their field of study (like people hoping to go to medical school don’t want to go into debt undergrad if they don’t have to). So personally I would assume a top student had merit and/or honors at a given school unless you told me the reason that they were going there was because there were no other choices.

I know for both you and son it’s a disappointment. I remember giving advice to someone with a freshman in high school and said - Yes, keep in mind what are the stats needed to get a strong consideration at our state flagship which has much higher stats than when we applied to college, but at the end of the day there are no guarantees so they need to live their life and enjoy what they are doing in high school and just cast a wide net when looking at colleges to apply to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes sense, but it seems hard to gauge if your kid has a .01 % shot or a 20% shot with the black box of holistic admissions. Many people are sharing that their kid had stats above average for a school and were rejected. and it is happening again and again as the rejections roll in.

Yep +1

It IS hard to gauge. So, I would argue, it makes sense to assume your kid is in the 0.1% category and plan accordingly.

Find a safety your kid can live with, preferably one with rolling admissions or EA, and your kid should make sure the school knows of their interest.

And make sure you, the parent, demonstrate interest as well. Your kid needs to see your interest. Don't indulge dream school nonsense.

My kid got waitlisted at Case Western. Her stats were far higher than CW's averages, but she didn't visit the school and didn't show any interest other than applying. I found it baffling, but I'm guessing they didn't want to increase their admit rate for a kid who is unlikely to attend?

This is absolutely a thing. Visit your safety! Send an email asking about local events. I am convinced they know who is checking the portal, too.

They absolutely know who opens their emails and clicks on links.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a week of so many rejections and waitlists, I'm finding it hard to make sense of it all and struggling to know the best way to help my DD. Brutal week.

Be chill and help her with her stress. Things have a way to work out.

[Anonymous]

It’s not your kiddo, it’s a flawed system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not your kiddo, it’s a flawed system.

It has been a flawed system for decades.

Don't have the player - hate the game.

[Anonymous]

*hate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

I thought did I write this post? My DC is in the same position. I stopped talking to people. I hate that “oh” look.