Explain wealthy men and mail order brides

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn’t call these young pretty women who seek exit from that reality “mail order” brides. They are indeed in most cases fluent in English, have in-demand college degrees (on top of being very attractive). It’s basically “brain drain” out of these countries, it’s just women have more choices vs men how to flee and get access to new economic opportunities. I know several from my exH circle in DC area: he worked for WB/IFC. His US friends married exceptionally attractive women from Eastern Europe. All the wives quickly adopted and work. I’m some cases, out-earned husbands in 10 years or so.
Yes, these women were poor in terms of assets when they got married, but they had very expensive (by US standards) education. IT, engineering, doctors, lawyers, biotech etc. Once they confirm these degrees in the US, it’s the same deal for a husband as marrying a Yale graduate. Except he gets a very good looking wife with parents abroad without any “luggage” and of child bearing age. This is a major “step up” for upper middle class American husbands vs their selection in the US. They basically marry up to a higher social class from a poorer country vs their own social circle in the US. Many women I know are well traveled, play expensive sports like tennis, swimming, skiing, horse riding, play musical instruments etc. This type of upbringing is very cheap in Russia but expensive and only available to a few in the US. They can socialize with executive level friends or colleagues of their husbands rising his social standing and international connections.

I am active in the Russian-speaking parent community in the DMV. The type of woman you describe is much more likely to immigrate on her own merits, most typically for graduate-level education, and then settle in the US via employment or marriage to someone she met while at university. The "wives" who arrived here via marriage to middle-class American husbands are, in general, quite provincial in their outlook, mindset, and um...aesthetic choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
But Russian men are extremely dominant, particular those who are wealthy. I think this, combined with some sort of "Russian drunkard" or "Russian mafia" stigma surrounding Russian men is what prevents American women to seek such marriages. Also, keep note that (even an educated man) from Moscow won't have independent income for a few years, and the wife would have to support him as he confirms his diplomas. While it's ok for men and socially acceptable to support wife financially in the US, it's less socially acceptable in the very start of the relationship in reverse roles. American brides all want a husband who can pay the bills from the start, not in 3-5 years.

It doesn't mean though that men in Moscow are less educated or worse than women: it's just women have more options to escape via marriage.

LOL and you call EE women golddiggers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attended a friend's wedding where I met his father and a 3 of his father's friends. All wealthy, all educated (M.D.s and JDs.) and all married to much younger, very attractive second wives from Russia, Belarus, or Ukraine. I can understand going for mail order if you don't have any prospects here and are basically exchanging citizenship for a relationship but why do that if you are educated and wealthy? I though mail order brides were mostly thing of the past.

Have you met American women? See DCUM posts . American women are heavy, not stylish and feminine, and want to be more like guys these days. You need a lawyer to go outy on a date. No I'm not an Incel, so don't give me that crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn’t call these young pretty women who seek exit from that reality “mail order” brides. They are indeed in most cases fluent in English, have in-demand college degrees (on top of being very attractive). It’s basically “brain drain” out of these countries, it’s just women have more choices vs men how to flee and get access to new economic opportunities. I know several from my exH circle in DC area: he worked for WB/IFC. His US friends married exceptionally attractive women from Eastern Europe. All the wives quickly adopted and work. I’m some cases, out-earned husbands in 10 years or so.
Yes, these women were poor in terms of assets when they got married, but they had very expensive (by US standards) education. IT, engineering, doctors, lawyers, biotech etc. Once they confirm these degrees in the US, it’s the same deal for a husband as marrying a Yale graduate. Except he gets a very good looking wife with parents abroad without any “luggage” and of child bearing age. This is a major “step up” for upper middle class American husbands vs their selection in the US. They basically marry up to a higher social class from a poorer country vs their own social circle in the US. Many women I know are well traveled, play expensive sports like tennis, swimming, skiing, horse riding, play musical instruments etc. This type of upbringing is very cheap in Russia but expensive and only available to a few in the US. They can socialize with executive level friends or colleagues of their husbands rising his social standing and international connections.

I am active in the Russian-speaking parent community in the DMV. The type of woman you describe is much more likely to immigrate on her own merits, most typically for graduate-level education, and then settle in the US via employment or marriage to someone she met while at university. The "wives" who arrived here via marriage to middle-class American husbands are, in general, quite provincial in their outlook, mindset, and um...aesthetic choices.

I am also pretty active in Russian-speaking community in DC metro area, and I simply ever met the type of a "provincial" bride you describe, or a "Barby" with silicone and botox married for money only. Yes, these Eastern European wives often already had one foot abroad (with scholarships, fluent English, relatives living in the US etc.) They were actively seeking to marry on international websites, which is what's commonly called "mail order" bride. Even those from provincial towns with lesser skills or degrees became nurses, accountants, paralegals and perfectly adapted. They are presumed to be mail order brides, but in reality they aren't.
This is immigration of brains into the US, like with any other countries (China, India etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a friend's wedding where I met his father and a 3 of his father's friends. All wealthy, all educated (M.D.s and JDs.) and all married to much younger, very attractive second wives from Russia, Belarus, or Ukraine. I can understand going for mail order if you don't have any prospects here and are basically exchanging citizenship for a relationship but why do that if you are educated and wealthy? I though mail order brides were mostly thing of the past.

Have you met American women? See DCUM posts . American women are heavy, not stylish and feminine, and want to be more like guys these days. You need a lawyer to go outy on a date. No I'm not an Incel, so don't give me that crap.

Stylish?!?! What man cares about female fashion? And feminine? Aside from overly muscular women, men these day like fit women, not women who look like dolls on a shelf. Carrot legs and skinny fat are out. So is being submissive and never having an opinion (or the ability to form one). Statistically, men marry their like equivalent. Educated, professional men married educated women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn’t call these young pretty women who seek exit from that reality “mail order” brides. They are indeed in most cases fluent in English, have in-demand college degrees (on top of being very attractive). It’s basically “brain drain” out of these countries, it’s just women have more choices vs men how to flee and get access to new economic opportunities. I know several from my exH circle in DC area: he worked for WB/IFC. His US friends married exceptionally attractive women from Eastern Europe. All the wives quickly adopted and work. I’m some cases, out-earned husbands in 10 years or so.
Yes, these women were poor in terms of assets when they got married, but they had very expensive (by US standards) education. IT, engineering, doctors, lawyers, biotech etc. Once they confirm these degrees in the US, it’s the same deal for a husband as marrying a Yale graduate. Except he gets a very good looking wife with parents abroad without any “luggage” and of child bearing age. This is a major “step up” for upper middle class American husbands vs their selection in the US. They basically marry up to a higher social class from a poorer country vs their own social circle in the US. Many women I know are well traveled, play expensive sports like tennis, swimming, skiing, horse riding, play musical instruments etc. This type of upbringing is very cheap in Russia but expensive and only available to a few in the US. They can socialize with executive level friends or colleagues of their husbands rising his social standing and international connections.

If this were true then why haven't we seen an influx of young, handsome EE men who American women are marrying? Same can be said right? I know American women who would love to have a man with all the qualities you describe, so where are they?

Could it be that perhaps these degrees and pedigrees are nothing but a bunch of marketing B.S.? If not then what is good for the goose should be good for the gander right - so where are all these highly desirable eligible EE men who want American wives?

I am an American citizen (woman, immigrated from EE as a teenager, US educated) who married an EE man, mail order groom, if you will, although we did not meet on a dating site. My American girlfriends were shocked. Most professionally established American women will not marry a man who earns less than them or doesn't come with 100% guarantee of eventually becoming a high earner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Up until 10 years ago it made sense for a lot of classy educated beautiful women from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet republics to marry into the west. Now, not so much. The economies have developed and they have much easier access to foreign countries through visas. There are still opportunities for 40 year old guys to marry well particularly if they are willing to marry someone who already has a child/divorced. But anyone older than that will have a lot more trouble. Single beautiful women in those countries have a lot of options. There are plenty of men. However, men age and die much more quickly due to alcoholism and other issues so there is definitely a gender imbalance over age 50. Not so much at younger ages.

'Their economies have developed'
-says who?

Let's see , which of these eastern European countries have flourishing economies ? Not Russia, not Ukraine, not Bielorussia .most European countries not part of the eruppean union have terrible economies .

They are good enough to have a comfortable life, especially in urban centers. I mean SOMEONE is keeping afloat the mortgage market in Moscow and St. Petersburg. SOMEONE is keeping vacation operators in Turkey, Egypt and Italy in business.

Give me a break !! With the exception of a few politically connected people in Moscow, the rest of the Russians are toiling away in poverty . Before the arrival of Russians, who use to keep vacation operators in Turkey, Egypt and Italy in business ? Here's the truth ; those countries were already hotbeds of tourism while the Russian were singing the praising of the Communist leader [i] du jour.

But they did arrive, didn't they?

Moscow and other urban centers have a thriving middle class. Not sure why it pains you admit it.

Russian poverty rate: 11.4% (World Bank numbers). US poverty rate: 13.4%
Slovenia: no 15 on the standards of living / quality of life ranking, well above US. Even Oman is higher than US.

DP.. now do % of UMC and rich.

The US has a huge wealth gap. Most other countries don't. But, the US also has a lot more rich people per capita. It becomes a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Up until 10 years ago it made sense for a lot of classy educated beautiful women from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet republics to marry into the west. Now, not so much. The economies have developed and they have much easier access to foreign countries through visas. There are still opportunities for 40 year old guys to marry well particularly if they are willing to marry someone who already has a child/divorced. But anyone older than that will have a lot more trouble. Single beautiful women in those countries have a lot of options. There are plenty of men. However, men age and die much more quickly due to alcoholism and other issues so there is definitely a gender imbalance over age 50. Not so much at younger ages.

'Their economies have developed'
-says who?

Let's see , which of these eastern European countries have flourishing economies ? Not Russia, not Ukraine, not Bielorussia .most European countries not part of the eruppean union have terrible economies .

They are good enough to have a comfortable life, especially in urban centers. I mean SOMEONE is keeping afloat the mortgage market in Moscow and St. Petersburg. SOMEONE is keeping vacation operators in Turkey, Egypt and Italy in business.

Give me a break !! With the exception of a few politically connected people in Moscow, the rest of the Russians are toiling away in poverty . Before the arrival of Russians, who use to keep vacation operators in Turkey, Egypt and Italy in business ? Here's the truth ; those countries were already hotbeds of tourism while the Russian were singing the praising of the Communist leader [i] du jour.

I love how American white men do their own mental gymnastics without any data. Keep dreaming that EE or Asian women want a fat, balding American man making 50K/year. They can get a much wealthier guy in their own country, 100% thinner and taller too in EE. Russians own a ton of real estate in London and Dubai and the poverty rate in Russia is well below the one in the USA. In US, boomers have insane alcohol and drug abuse problems. Boomers consume crystal meth at rates TRIPLE those of Millennials, Gen Xs and Zers. 10% of boomers abuse sedatives and 17% binge drink frequently. So yes, if these women are marrying an older American guy, there is a high probability he's a fat old drunk. The US averages are lower simply because Millennials and Zers barely drink and use drugs.
I'm in an affluent pocket in VA and I see a LOT of white American women with successful Asian husbands. My dentist is Korean and his wife is white. My friend's daughter (we're both EE from the same country) is marrying a Chinese guy who is finishing med school. I'm near a big medical center, my family is working in healthcare, and ALL the Indian surgeons have white wives. None of them are fat, like 74% of the Caucasian men BTW, and 100% of them are very successful. If you look at the Pew data, more and more white women are marring Asian men, especially the college educated one. I think everyone is realizing how much of a loser the average white guy is here.

Let me guess you have a black friend also? You sound like that woman who called the police on the bird watcher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a significant number of men who just want a somewhat attractive but very submissive wife, one who is not particularly intelligent or confident or opinionated.

Some guys can find that in the usual ways, but if a guy doesn't have a lot of time but does have a lot of money, why not just buy one?

No; they want a wife intelligent enough to consistently give the appearance of submitting and who is also smart enough to make the effort to maintain her physical appearance. I have known plenty of Eastern European women who are devastatingly smart and confident and opinionated. They simply are taught that the way to maintain a marriage to a financially successful man is not by arguing with him openly on a regular basis. They get him addicted to their approval and praise -- expertly faked, however insincere -- and the ego rush of having a fit, well-groomed, and traditionally feminine woman at his side in public. Then they manipulate him ruthlessly to get exactly what they want in the long or short term. Everybody happy.

How barbaric. I pity those woman, how dehumanising.

[Anonymous]

I love how American white men do their own mental gymnastics without any data. Keep dreaming that EE or Asian women want a fat, balding American man making 50K/year. They can get a much wealthier guy in their own country, 100% thinner and taller too in EE. Russians own a ton of real estate in London and Dubai

I don’t know any 50-ish “American white men” 🙄 who think they can snag a hot young Russian woman. But I doubt Russian women are marrying “much wealthier guys” either. There aren’t enough Russian guys who own real estate in London and Dubai to go around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a significant number of men who just want a somewhat attractive but very submissive wife, one who is not particularly intelligent or confident or opinionated.

Some guys can find that in the usual ways, but if a guy doesn't have a lot of time but does have a lot of money, why not just buy one?

No; they want a wife intelligent enough to consistently give the appearance of submitting and who is also smart enough to make the effort to maintain her physical appearance. I have known plenty of Eastern European women who are devastatingly smart and confident and opinionated. They simply are taught that the way to maintain a marriage to a financially successful man is not by arguing with him openly on a regular basis. They get him addicted to their approval and praise -- expertly faked, however insincere -- and the ego rush of having a fit, well-groomed, and traditionally feminine woman at his side in public. Then they manipulate him ruthlessly to get exactly what they want in the long or short term. Everybody happy.

How barbaric. I pity those woman, how dehumanising.

Yes the DCUM women who despise their husbands and who constantly belittle and berate them and argue with them in public have much happier marriages. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

American women who have options don't generally hold onto traditional gender roles. I mean.. who would want to work and take care of the kids/house and the man? That's a lot of work and stress. Rich men don't have to do any of that, nor do they really want to. Hence, they seek out women who want those traditional roles, ie, not highly educate American women.

No one who is rich needs to sweep their own floors. Affluent households outsource domestic labor.

DCUM is replete with "thankfully, I don't have to work" types.

Rich men, like all men, practice assortative mating. Most men born rich will be paired with women of similar background. Most men who got rich by themselves will be married to their first wives. A minority will upgrade to a younger, hotter model. A tiny, tiny minority will look for a "mail order" option.

The question is why do rich men marry mail order brides from EE, not "why do rich men marry their counterparts". And actually, the topic of the thread is counter to your point that rich men marry their counterparts -- rich women.

A lot of rich men like trophy wives -- good looking, not too dumb, and will cater to their wants and needs. A woman who is pretty and smart, but doesn't have much economic opportunity to be wealthy in her own right is a prime target for these men.

As someone stated, EE women tend to keep up with their looks. Wealthy, educated American women don't pay *as much* attention to their looks because they don't have to. Obviously, they don't look like slobs, but they don't need to make themselves look like they are on the hunt for a rich man.

DP. It isn’t counter to her point because this is about “rich” men on second marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm….the third Mrs. Trump?

Did he bring her over or was she already here when they met?

She was already here escorting….I mean modeling at 30

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was I a mail order bride ? I don’t know. I am Russian, met my exH online at 24, when he was 35 and already divorced once. He’s also Russian and said he just looked for someone of same culture. I was a lawyer in Moscow, and all my boyfriends were wealthy (oil, gas, legal, banking, security services “covering” businesses). I am 5.9 and was very good looking in my 20s. I would say, my American online date was not the wealthiest date, but I fell for him because he was very driven. We got married within a year, I found legal job in DC right away and worked through our marriage. We had one child. He cheated on me with Serbian woman his age and we recently divorced. He was very controlling, old fashioned husband and not a very engaged dad. Liked sex a lot but got bored after 7 years or (needed toys).
I just think he’s a womanizer and American women wouldn’t have tolerated this. I feel like my life was bulldozed all over and really want to move back to Moscow when my son finishes college.

Aww. I am so sorry you went through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Up until 10 years ago it made sense for a lot of classy educated beautiful women from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet republics to marry into the west. Now, not so much. The economies have developed and they have much easier access to foreign countries through visas. There are still opportunities for 40 year old guys to marry well particularly if they are willing to marry someone who already has a child/divorced. But anyone older than that will have a lot more trouble. Single beautiful women in those countries have a lot of options. There are plenty of men. However, men age and die much more quickly due to alcoholism and other issues so there is definitely a gender imbalance over age 50. Not so much at younger ages.

'Their economies have developed'
-says who?

Let's see , which of these eastern European countries have flourishing economies ? Not Russia, not Ukraine, not Bielorussia .most European countries not part of the eruppean union have terrible economies .

They are good enough to have a comfortable life, especially in urban centers. I mean SOMEONE is keeping afloat the mortgage market in Moscow and St. Petersburg. SOMEONE is keeping vacation operators in Turkey, Egypt and Italy in business.

Give me a break !! With the exception of a few politically connected people in Moscow, the rest of the Russians are toiling away in poverty . Before the arrival of Russians, who use to keep vacation operators in Turkey, Egypt and Italy in business ? Here's the truth ; those countries were already hotbeds of tourism while the Russian were singing the praising of the Communist leader [i] du jour.

I love how American white men do their own mental gymnastics without any data. Keep dreaming that EE or Asian women want a fat, balding American man making 50K/year. They can get a much wealthier guy in their own country, 100% thinner and taller too in EE. Russians own a ton of real estate in London and Dubai and the poverty rate in Russia is well below the one in the USA. In US, boomers have insane alcohol and drug abuse problems. Boomers consume crystal meth at rates TRIPLE those of Millennials, Gen Xs and Zers. 10% of boomers abuse sedatives and 17% binge drink frequently. So yes, if these women are marrying an older American guy, there is a high probability he's a fat old drunk. The US averages are lower simply because Millennials and Zers barely drink and use drugs.
I'm in an affluent pocket in VA and I see a LOT of white American women with successful Asian husbands. My dentist is Korean and his wife is white. My friend's daughter (we're both EE from the same country) is marrying a Chinese guy who is finishing med school. I'm near a big medical center, my family is working in healthcare, and ALL the Indian surgeons have white wives. None of them are fat, like 74% of the Caucasian men BTW, and 100% of them are very successful. If you look at the Pew data, more and more white women are marring Asian men, especially the college educated one. I think everyone is realizing how much of a loser the average white guy is here.

Let me guess you have a black friend also? You sound like that woman who called the police on the bird watcher.

Yes, my neighbor, law equity partner. Married to a white woman