1st grade is a bad as we suspected

[Anonymous]

We’re in kindergarten and it’s a hot mess too. Very few kids went to PreK whereas before most would have gone. Most of the kids stayed at home with grandma, an aunt or a low quality daycare (it’s a poor school).

They’re learning their alphabet and the sounds letters make and most kids can’t keep up. Lots of behavioral issues too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:truly, this thread is the worst of DCUM.

I agree, but probably for the opposite reason of you. It demonstrates how lazy parents are, and how they abdicate all of their responsibility as to parents to “society.” I didn’t fail my child, society did! If anything is wrong with my child, it is society’s fault! It explains so much about so many of the kids at my kids’ schools.

Schools are an essential part of raising children - not just education but also socializing and independence. It’s frankly bizarre that people are still focused on blaming parents even now against all obvious - I wonder about your motivations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:truly, this thread is the worst of DCUM.

I agree, but probably for the opposite reason of you. It demonstrates how lazy parents are, and how they abdicate all of their responsibility as to parents to “society.” I didn’t fail my child, society did! If anything is wrong with my child, it is society’s fault! It explains so much about so many of the kids at my kids’ schools.

Schools are an essential part of raising children - not just education but also socializing and independence. It’s frankly bizarre that people are still focused on blaming parents even now against all obvious - I wonder about your motivations.

I think people like PP who think that parents are lazy just want gold stars for doing flashcards with their kids after Zoom school. "I DID IT! AND I HAVE A JOB! YOU HAVE NO EXCUSES!" Not realizing that the world is a much bigger place outside of their individual circumstances.

[Anonymous]

It's a pandemic. If this means some kids are little late learning their ABCs, I'm ok with that.

[Anonymous]

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No one is saying online learning was super effective for K students. But if parents literally did nothing additional for all of last year, while knowing virtual was ineffective, that’s on them.

Perhaps you can come up with things parents could have done or should be doing, to make this all work out?

I have a friend who is a nurse, with 3 kids, 8th grader, 5th grader, and K. All through the pandemic, she has been working, often long hours. Her husband works overnight, so that someone is home most of the time, but obviously, in between work, they have to do things like chores and sleeping. Since dad sleeps during the day, he is unable to supervise anyone. Oldest kid was in 8th grade. Self sufficient. He was responsible for making sure that the K kid was logged on, but that was about the extent of what he could do, because he can't do his schooling and supervise the K kid. Obviously, the kid learned nothing all last year. No idea how the little one is doing this year, but I'm assuming that he is among the kids that is behind.

They could have worked with the little one every day on the basics. Zero excuse.

Yeah, sure. When one parent works 7 - 7, and the other one leaves home at 9 and isn't back until 7 in the morning, that leaves plenty of time to spend teaching the basics to a 5 year old that has spent the day on zoom classes.

Was she working daily? Most nurses who work 7-7 only work 2/3/4 days a week (24/36/48 hrs/wk). More than that (60 hrs/wk) is not often sustainable longer term.

Not PP but surely you heard about the shortage of healthcare workers? I know nurses who have had to take extra shifts. It's almost like you think more parent healthcare workers should have quit to homeschool their children....until you needed care, of course. Let me guess, you take SUCH good care of yourself at home that you've ben able to forgo all healthcare the last 18 months?

Oh stop, I'm a nurse myself but not in the hospital anymore. I'm simply pointing out a typical nurse who works 7-7 in the hospital only works 2-3 days a week, and often at least one of those days is on the weekend. What is the nurse doing the rest of the time? I'm sure many picked up extra shifts but even then, the amount of OT and bonus $$$ would have been insane enough that they could have hired some help, so there's really no excuse.

Zoom tutoring on top of Zoom school sounds super productive and healthy for a 5yo!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Thank you for subbing! We NEED you!

+1000. I don’t know why so many people are being nasty to OP.

Education begins at home. I have a niece in 1st and a nephew in 3rd. They had a father working in COVID wards and a mother WFH in a high-stress job. They were put through Kumon to supplement the poor DL and they’re perfectly fine. Other parents chose not to do this and they’re being defensive. And don’t whine to me about their privilege. Many of you have the same privilege yet you failed your kids.

Perhaps because OP was being nasty about young kids and their parents.

Some parents have really let their kids down over the last 18 months. This is an undeniable fact. Yes, DL was a disaster, but some parents tried to mitigate the disaster, others did not or made it worse by allowing and encouraging terrible behavior and learned helplessness.

FOAD. You have no clue what some parents were dealing with.

Maybe. But not most of the parents posting here.

You don’t know that, but even if you’re right, so what? Your comment wasn’t limited to only parents here.

Parents, even the ones who “we have no idea what they are dealing with” are still ultimately responsible for how their kids turn out. I’m the end, if their kid is a HS drop out or whatever, no one is going to blame the pandemic from back in K.

Yes, there could be a whole wave of kids that turn out behind from the effects of the pandemic, and it's the school system's fault for acting like 5 year-olds can do a school day on Zoom. The majority of parents were doing the best that they could, but not everyone can afford supplementing and tutoring or even has a lot of time for homeschooling.

They can stay mad and blame whoever they want, but in the in it’s THEIR kid they are punishing by not taking their own steps to remediate.

You mean virtual tutoring?

With only one school-aged DC, it was easy for me to put all his difficulties on me being a terrible parent, not knowing how to communicate things that he wasn't understanding in virtual, etc. But the more I talk to other parents, it was evident that even within the same families, some kids did better with Zoom school than others. Everyone has different personalities and learning styles. My sister, for example, elected virtual for her two ES kids even though they could have gone in person. (they're in FL). So it was a deliberate choice - she was still working, but part-time and flexible, and she was up to the task of supporting their learning. Her first grader largely did ok- easygoing kid, picks things up easily. Was already ahead of most of his peers. Her 3rd grader, on the other hand, is more high strung, doesn't pick things up as quickly, and defiant with my sister in a way she just isn't in class. Kids went back midway through the year since the outbreaks never materialized and everyone was miserable.

I'm not just talking about last year, but now too. Some parents are furious at the school and seem to the think they are somehow sticking it to the school by insisting the school catch their child up without any help from the parents. In the end its the kids who suffer if the parents refuse to step up. And yes some kids will need paid professional tutoring and some kids will needs some rules and behavhioral expectations at home that they don't currently have.

You seem a little furious yourself, but at the parents who expressed dissatisfaction with virtual learning. Is your child bored because the teacher has to spend time catching up the rest of the class? Just keep providng enrichment at home at they will be A-OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these comments blaming parents for not stepping in and teaching their kids, for me shows the problem with our society in a nutshell.

People really seem to have trouble with understanding others, with empathy, and frankly with plain common sense.

The way the US works right now, it is literally impossible for a large chunk of parents to parent well. They don't have the bare minimum time or money or mental capacity or skills, or some combination of the above. Then, their kids grow up and also suck as parents because they never had a chance.

And rather than seeing this fundamental truth, and saying, how can we interrupt this cycle response from so many is, "Well, I did it, so why can't they?" OR "Well, these other people overcame major poverty and trauma, why can't they?"

People who succeed as parents (in US society overall, but especially with the added stressors of COVID) are either privileged or exceptional or lucky.

There will always be people whose internal strength helps them overcome insane obstacles and thrive. But these are just a few exceptional people. Most people can't just shrug off the legacy of their own childhood trauma and become good parents. Most people can't manage two grueling jobs making $15/hour with constantly changing schedules, bad managers, and abusive customers, and then take care of groceries and bills and cleaning and childcare and find the energy to also be a teacher, oh and to do all of that without a partner.

I am UMC with a partner and pretty minor, run-of-the-mill mental health challenges, and this pandemic nearly broke me. I recognize every day that I was only able to keep things together for my now first grader because of my privilege and frankly luck (easy kid who adjusted easily to Zoom school and seems to pick everything up at school without effort). I seriously do not know how people do it without a partner, without tons of money, without totally losing their minds.

Thank you, PP. I agree 100%. This is such a depressing thread.

Many a person have not been raised to know life any differently(minus the pandemic of course). What you describe above is everyday life for many(the working 2 jobs, trying to pay bills, still having to find time and the will to parent, sometimes without a partner, etc). Its not exceptional, but it isn’t easy, and never has been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:truly, this thread is the worst of DCUM.

As much for the illogic of the apologists as their message:
Area schools close in whole/part for 12-18 months, wise or unwise policy?
Closures, did they cause delays/problems, what are solutions?

...but instead of engaging they jump to the complete non sequitur that DCUM parents are lazy, learning loss their fault, nurses don't work 24-7 so have lots of extra time in a pandemic for homeschooling, and finally, parents should to be the main source of children's education not the school systems funded at $20K+ per student.

?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re in kindergarten and it’s a hot mess too. Very few kids went to PreK whereas before most would have gone. Most of the kids stayed at home with grandma, an aunt or a low quality daycare (it’s a poor school).

They’re learning their alphabet and the sounds letters make and most kids can’t keep up. Lots of behavioral issues too

My son knows most of his letters and letter sounds (not all) and was labeled below level in Kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:truly, this thread is the worst of DCUM.

I agree, but probably for the opposite reason of you. It demonstrates how lazy parents are, and how they abdicate all of their responsibility as to parents to “society.” I didn’t fail my child, society did! If anything is wrong with my child, it is society’s fault! It explains so much about so many of the kids at my kids’ schools.

Schools are an essential part of raising children - not just education but also socializing and independence. It’s frankly bizarre that people are still focused on blaming parents even now against all obvious - I wonder about your motivations.

PP here. I’m not sure where you got that I am anti-school. My kids were signed up for hybrid and went back the first chance they got. I think school is vitally important. AND I’m still shocked how lazy and uninvolved most parents are. Both things can be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No one is saying online learning was super effective for K students. But if parents literally did nothing additional for all of last year, while knowing virtual was ineffective, that’s on them.

Perhaps you can come up with things parents could have done or should be doing, to make this all work out?

I have a friend who is a nurse, with 3 kids, 8th grader, 5th grader, and K. All through the pandemic, she has been working, often long hours. Her husband works overnight, so that someone is home most of the time, but obviously, in between work, they have to do things like chores and sleeping. Since dad sleeps during the day, he is unable to supervise anyone. Oldest kid was in 8th grade. Self sufficient. He was responsible for making sure that the K kid was logged on, but that was about the extent of what he could do, because he can't do his schooling and supervise the K kid. Obviously, the kid learned nothing all last year. No idea how the little one is doing this year, but I'm assuming that he is among the kids that is behind.

They could have worked with the little one every day on the basics. Zero excuse.

Yeah, sure. When one parent works 7 - 7, and the other one leaves home at 9 and isn't back until 7 in the morning, that leaves plenty of time to spend teaching the basics to a 5 year old that has spent the day on zoom classes.

Was she working daily? Most nurses who work 7-7 only work 2/3/4 days a week (24/36/48 hrs/wk). More than that (60 hrs/wk) is not often sustainable longer term.

Not PP but surely you heard about the shortage of healthcare workers? I know nurses who have had to take extra shifts. It's almost like you think more parent healthcare workers should have quit to homeschool their children....until you needed care, of course. Let me guess, you take SUCH good care of yourself at home that you've ben able to forgo all healthcare the last 18 months?

Oh stop, I'm a nurse myself but not in the hospital anymore. I'm simply pointing out a typical nurse who works 7-7 in the hospital only works 2-3 days a week, and often at least one of those days is on the weekend. What is the nurse doing the rest of the time? I'm sure many picked up extra shifts but even then, the amount of OT and bonus $$$ would have been insane enough that they could have hired some help, so there's really no excuse.

Zoom tutoring on top of Zoom school sounds super productive and healthy for a 5yo!

Who said it had to be Zoom? I know people who found college students to lead pods of students while schools were closed.

[Anonymous]

This is precisely why we kept my daughter in private rather than shifting to public, which is what we intended. We had a sense that this year would be a crap festival. Not sure yet what we will do next year because she (and her other private classmates) are very much ahead of her public school friends. And I have nothing at all against public school, my other child has gone through public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these comments blaming parents for not stepping in and teaching their kids, for me shows the problem with our society in a nutshell.

People really seem to have trouble with understanding others, with empathy, and frankly with plain common sense.

The way the US works right now, it is literally impossible for a large chunk of parents to parent well. They don't have the bare minimum time or money or mental capacity or skills, or some combination of the above. Then, their kids grow up and also suck as parents because they never had a chance.

And rather than seeing this fundamental truth, and saying, how can we interrupt this cycle response from so many is, "Well, I did it, so why can't they?" OR "Well, these other people overcame major poverty and trauma, why can't they?"

People who succeed as parents (in US society overall, but especially with the added stressors of COVID) are either privileged or exceptional or lucky.

There will always be people whose internal strength helps them overcome insane obstacles and thrive. But these are just a few exceptional people. Most people can't just shrug off the legacy of their own childhood trauma and become good parents. Most people can't manage two grueling jobs making $15/hour with constantly changing schedules, bad managers, and abusive customers, and then take care of groceries and bills and cleaning and childcare and find the energy to also be a teacher, oh and to do all of that without a partner.

I am UMC with a partner and pretty minor, run-of-the-mill mental health challenges, and this pandemic nearly broke me. I recognize every day that I was only able to keep things together for my now first grader because of my privilege and frankly luck (easy kid who adjusted easily to Zoom school and seems to pick everything up at school without effort). I seriously do not know how people do it without a partner, without tons of money, without totally losing their minds.

You keep saying they don’t have a partner like is my fault. It’s not. Of course raising kids without a family unit is harder on the mother and way worse for the kids. That’s the reason that sensible people have been trying to encourage black people (since that’s who you’re talking about, so let’s just be honest) to not have children out of wedlock. But then we’ve had all the insane BLM activists telling us that no family unit is not a bad thing at all and we shouldn’t try to change them or encourage them to do things differently because it’s apparently racist.

So sick of this. You want the freedom to have kids without a stable family unit then fine. But don’t whine about how impossible it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a pandemic. If this means some kids are little late learning their ABCs, I'm ok with that.

It’s not just the academics. The behavioral issues bring the whole class down. The kids are told “we can’t leave for recess until the whole class is lined up and quiet. If you keep talking it eats into your recess time.” Same with kids interrupting the lesson or the read aloud or whatever. It’s fair to the kids doing what they are supposed to be doing because they are all punished as one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these comments blaming parents for not stepping in and teaching their kids, for me shows the problem with our society in a nutshell.

People really seem to have trouble with understanding others, with empathy, and frankly with plain common sense.

The way the US works right now, it is literally impossible for a large chunk of parents to parent well. They don't have the bare minimum time or money or mental capacity or skills, or some combination of the above. Then, their kids grow up and also suck as parents because they never had a chance.

And rather than seeing this fundamental truth, and saying, how can we interrupt this cycle response from so many is, "Well, I did it, so why can't they?" OR "Well, these other people overcame major poverty and trauma, why can't they?"

People who succeed as parents (in US society overall, but especially with the added stressors of COVID) are either privileged or exceptional or lucky.

There will always be people whose internal strength helps them overcome insane obstacles and thrive. But these are just a few exceptional people. Most people can't just shrug off the legacy of their own childhood trauma and become good parents. Most people can't manage two grueling jobs making $15/hour with constantly changing schedules, bad managers, and abusive customers, and then take care of groceries and bills and cleaning and childcare and find the energy to also be a teacher, oh and to do all of that without a partner.

I am UMC with a partner and pretty minor, run-of-the-mill mental health challenges, and this pandemic nearly broke me. I recognize every day that I was only able to keep things together for my now first grader because of my privilege and frankly luck (easy kid who adjusted easily to Zoom school and seems to pick everything up at school without effort). I seriously do not know how people do it without a partner, without tons of money, without totally losing their minds.

You keep saying they don’t have a partner like is my fault. It’s not. Of course raising kids without a family unit is harder on the mother and way worse for the kids. That’s the reason that sensible people have been trying to encourage black people (since that’s who you’re talking about, so let’s just be honest) to not have children out of wedlock. But then we’ve had all the insane BLM activists telling us that no family unit is not a bad thing at all and we shouldn’t try to change them or encourage them to do things differently because it’s apparently racist.

So sick of this. You want the freedom to have kids without a stable family unit then fine. But don’t whine about how impossible it is.

Agree. Also, maybe wait to have kids until you don’t have a minimum wage job with crappy hours? Just a thought.