Circumcision - yay or nay?

[Anonymous]

We recently found out that we're expecting a little boy, and need to start thinking about whether or not to circumsize. Frankly, I didn't realize there was a debate about it until very recently, and had always assumed it was a very standard procedure. Recently I've been given a lot of information/opinions that it's medically unecessary and that the rate is declining significantly. DH can't imagine not doing it because that's what is normal in his view, but I certainly don't want to subject our child to a painful procedure if it's considered unecessary and no longer advised.

Any moms (or moms-to-be) of boys -- how have you decided on this issue?

[Anonymous]

Did it. No problems. Now if I was having my first I might think twice but likely will do it with subsequent boys just to simplify things. I see no problem with not doing it as it is not medically needed and not doing seems to be a trend.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP - you read my mind. I was just going to post this question myself.

The two biggest reasons I've heard so far in favor of circumcision are hygiene and the "locker room" factor.

I'm confident we can handle the hygiene aspect. It seems a bit irresponsible to subject my son to an unnecessary, painful procedure for purely superficial reasons. I'm also wary because I know of a particularly badly botched circumcision. Yes, that's extremely rare. But how horrible would I feel if that was my child?

On the other hand, I don't want to set him up to be horribly teased by the other kids. So I'm very curious to know if he would really, truly have the only "turtleneck" in the locker room.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. Kids don't get teased about it anymore-- about 50% are circumcised. There's no really good reason and I'm Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Search for this and you'll get a lot of discussion, some of it heated.

We didn't have a religious reason to do it. Our pediatrician wouldn't really weigh in, saying it was our choice. Once we said we weren't going to do it, he made it clear that he thought that was the right choice for anyone who didn't have a religious or strong cultural reason to do it.

DH is circumsized. I guess at bottom we decided not to because it is a minor medical procedure. Maybe I was more open to it because I had had one long-term lover who was not and I had no objections.

[Anonymous]

My boys are 2 and 4. We are Catholic, so having it done had no religious significance. However, it was "cultural" - all the boys in the family have it done, so DH couldn't imagine our sons not having it done.

The health benefits are negligible.

That said, the pain is very temporary, and it does not interfere with bonding or anything else. Newborns are subject to a lot of pain - from lots of things. Goop in their eyes once they are born. Vitamin shot immediately after birth. Blood tests. I was present for the circumsions of our sons. Yes, its horrible. Then it's over. It took longer for them to "milk" blood from our sons' feet to test for various metabolic disporders that they do for every newborn than the circumcision took.

Really, its your choice.

[Anonymous]

My children's grandmother is a pediatrician, and my mother's best friend is a nurse for a urologist, and their professional opinions tipped us towards circumcision. I was very open-minded about the question, being a homebirthing, homeschooling, alternative vaccinating, chiropractor-visiting mother, but I am confident in my decision.

OP, if you do decide to do it, I would strongly, STRONGLY urge you to use a mohel. There are some doctors who are also mohels, and there are some rabbis who are superb mohels. We used Rabbi Raphael Malka for our last two sons, and my MIL was present for one of the circumcisions, and she admitted that though she has done thousands herself, she could not match his skill. Our boys did not cry and healed perfectly, beautifully within a day or so.

Rabbi Malka is extremely experienced, and truly a gem of a man. My boys were born right around 38 weeks, so even at 8 days old, the retractions were a little tricky, but Rabbi handled it, no trouble or hesitation. Just an amazing experience.

BTW, we are Catholic, not Jewish, and my MIL is Hindu, and we all really enjoyed his company.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your son.

[Anonymous]

My three boys are intact. We are not religious and I did not see any compelling reasons to have it done. Basically, my thoughts and considerations were/are:

1. I think it should be the choice of the individual to alter his own genitals when he is old enough to make that decision. I have no right to make this decision for my child (morally).
2. It is extremely painful to the baby, particularly since appropriate anesthesia is rarely used, thus there should be a highly compelling medical reason to do it, and there is no such reason IMO.
3. The foreskin has a function and a purpose -- it is not just "extra" skin. Once I learned more about what the foreskin is and does (while pg with #2) I was so glad I had chosen to opt out with #1.
4. Breastfeeding was very important to me, and circumcision can interfere with nursing. I have heard many anecdotal stories of babies who refused to nurse for a long period after the procedure and subsequent supply problems. Does not happen to everyone, but not a risk worth taking for me.

We have not had any issues with our boys being uncircumcised. You just have to make sure that you and your ped are informed about how to care for an intact penis -- e.g. no one should retract other than the boy himself (and it is normal for it not to completely retract until 10 or beyond in some cases). Good luck making your decision and congratulations on your little boy!

[Anonymous]

Three of ours are boys. They were all circumcised. However, they are older and that's just what everyone did back then. If I were having a baby boy today, I wouldn't do it. There is just no logical reason to do so.

[Anonymous]

If you are circumcisd you have less chance of getting STDs and AIDS. It is also more sanitary and easier to take care of. The pain is negligable and my kids barely made a noise when it happened.

[Anonymous]

We did it for religious reasons only. I was against it. I did tons of research, and at the time it was really 50/50 pros and cons of each. Don't do it just to do it. But learn all you can about care of uncirc'ed boys. Some doctors try to retract before you are supposed to, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is really a decision best made by talking through it with your DH. I am fairly anti-circumcision but DH is Jewish and has strong feelings about it. I typically research everything, but in this case I didn't want to catch DH off guard by being prepared with a ton of info and springing the conversation on him. I told him a few days in advance i wanted to discuss it and to let me know when he was ready.

Personally, I can't find any justification for doing it. The APA has revised their stance and is supposed to issue a more thorough position on it sometime in the near future. I'm not swayed by the locker room stuff, my brother is not circumcised and said it was never an issue for him and it didn't affect his relationships with women. In our case, DH feels strongly that his son look like him and look like other Jewish men, even though DH is not very religious. I didn't realize how big a deal it was to him until we spoke.

At this point I'm resigned to having it done because it means a lot to DH. That said, even if you aren't Jewish, I found this thread the most helpful of the archived circumcision threads on DCUM http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/42036.page

Good luck, it's definitely a tough decision.

[Anonymous]

Our son wasn't circucised but had to be during an emergancy after he was a month old. What happened was the skin couldnt retract and started cutting off the blood supply to the head. For the second one we got him done immediately. Maybe it is something heriditary.

[Anonymous]

11:15 PP here. Wanted to add one more thing.
If you decide to do it, ensure someone experienced does it like 11:19 mentioned. Our first had his done soon after birth at the hospital and we had no issues. My seond was born on a holiday weekend, and the L&D was horrible due to inadequate staff - the ones with less experience, came in late, etc. No way were we having his circumcision done with the "B" team on duty. We waited until after the holiday, and asked our pediatrician who she recommended for it.

That said - the longer you wait, the more painful it is for the child, and the longer the healing process. If you are going to do it, do it within the first 48 hours.

To 11:20 - I've know males who wnated it done as adults. It takes weeks to heal as an adult. Hence why it is done on infants.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to everyone who has posted thus far. This is the most respectful and calm thread I have seen on this issue.