Any Jewish parents who chose not to circumcise?

[Anonymous]

DH and I recently found out that we will be giving birth to a boy this spring (hooray!) and we are weighing the question of whether to have him circumcised. I am reluctant to do so because I believe that, while circumcision is a valid choice, it is not medically necessary. Furthermore, while I am Jewish, DH is not Jewish and is not circumcised.

I was discussing the circumcision question with the two midwives who are overseeing my care, and both have said that they have had Jewish patients who have chosen not to circumcise their babies, as well as those who have. I was surprised by this, as I had just assumed that all Jewish parents have their boys circumcised.

I've read the arguments on www.jewsagainstcircumcision.org and a couple of other sites, but I'm curious to hear about the actual experience of Jewish parents who have chosen not to circumcise. Has the issue affected your family's participation in Jewish community events? How have you presented your choice to close family members, and how have they reacted?

(I am posting this query with some trepidation because I know that many people are passionate about both circumcision and issues of Jewish identity. Please do not respond with arguments about why circumcision is bad or good - those threads already exist on this forum. Also, no need to respond with information about Jewish teachings regarding circumcision, as that information is also widely available.)

[Anonymous]

It seems that by restricting your question in this way you are only going to get one sided answers.

[Anonymous]

Can we assume you plan to raise your son to be a Jew?

[Anonymous]

I think it will be difficult to raise your son Jewish if he is not circumcised. I don't mean that anyone will bar him from entering a synagogue, LOL--I mean, people aren't going to ask him to drop trou to verify before getting bar-mitzvahed. I just mean that he will not be a member of the covenant and so not technically be considered Jewish. Now, I am no expert, and it is possible that Reform Jews will allow a non-circumcised man to be considered Jewish, but I am not sure. I believe that when adult men convert to Judaism, for example, one drop of blood is required to be shed as a symbolic circumcision. Again, I'm no expert, though, and I would ask a rabbi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it will be difficult to raise your son Jewish if he is not circumcised. I don't mean that anyone will bar him from entering a synagogue, LOL--I mean, people aren't going to ask him to drop trou to verify before getting bar-mitzvahed. I just mean that he will not be a member of the covenant and so not technically be considered Jewish. Now, I am no expert, and it is possible that Reform Jews will allow a non-circumcised man to be considered Jewish, but I am not sure. I believe that when adult men convert to Judaism, for example, one drop of blood is required to be shed as a symbolic circumcision. Again, I'm no expert, though, and I would ask a rabbi.

I was raised Orthodox and at least in that community, this PP's assessment is technically true. However, I've never seen someone check!

There are many degrees of observance within Judaism and you can always find a congregation that honors your decision about how to treat your son's body. Look into Reconstructionist synagogues for that.

The real question, I think, is whether you would be comfortable in a community that conditions acceptance on foreskin status. If you agree that this is the way to have a "covenant" that keeps you in the community, then you might want to circumcise. If, on the other hand, you find that it's unreasonable to expect someone to circumcise in order to participate in Jewish events, then don't.

Thinking along these lines, I decided against. And then my "boy" came out as a girl. So much for accurate sonograms!

[Anonymous]

You might also consider that if he wants to marry someone jewish later on, not being circumcized could be a problem and perhaps its better to do it at 8 days than at age 30.

[Anonymous]

I think if you want to instill a sense of Jewish identity it's important to circumcise. I think it's a strong statement that you are choosing to not raise him as a Jew (which obviously you have the right to do).

[Anonymous]

I know this isn't what you asked, but I am Jewish and we had our son circumcised in the hospital, rather than have a bris (although there are some OBs who are also mohels).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe that when adult men convert to Judaism, for example, one drop of blood is required to be shed as a symbolic circumcision.

If the man is already circumcised, the only thing that's required is a drop of blood for the bris. However, if he is not, then he would have to do the full circumcision in order to fully convert (at least with an Orthodox rabbi, and Conservatives may require that too, not sure about Reform). I know a few Russian Jews who were not circumcised over there and who couldn't have a bar-mitzvah here until it was done.

[Anonymous]

OP: Mazel Tov !!!

You've asked a very complex question to wish you need to talk to various Rabbis for their explanations. If you do go thru with it, have Rabbi Henish in Baltimore perform the circumcision. He's a real pain in the ass to deal with - about as friendly as a bag of doorknobs, BUT he's the absolute best on the east coast. His work is absolutely flawless !!!

[Anonymous]

I am a Jewish woman raising a Jewish son who is not circumcized. I expected to get flack from my family. I got none. NONE.

I got flack from other Jewish folks who were not my family, which is fine.

My rationale is this, basically: We have all these traditions and covenants. So many of them have flown out the window in modern times, and THIS is the one we steadfastly hang onto? We are very secure in our identities. It no doubt bothers some folks and I'm sure some of them will tell me (though never to my face) that I'm a lousy Jew, but it's between me and God, and they don't get to kick me out of the mispacha or the diaspora because we make them uncomfortable.

Gee, do I sound defensive? I am. Oh well. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Also, we had a Brit Shalom for our son.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for a stupid question, but are not these rules subject to interpretation, and as such everything hinges on the interpretation more than anything else?

Will something bad happen if it is not done?
Despite some religious bigots not thinking much of you

[Anonymous]

I'm offended that you think that only religious bigots can want to circumcise their sons and for others in the community to do so as well. Obviously, you don't know much about the history of the practice.

Sorry for a stupid question, but are not these rules subject to interpretation, and as such everything hinges on the interpretation more than anything else?

Will something bad happen if it is not done?
Despite some religious bigots not thinking much of you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm offended that you think that only religious bigots can want to circumcise their sons and for others in the community to do so as well. Obviously, you don't know much about the history of the practice.

What do you call people in the congregation who consider some other members to not be 'real'? Or who think less of someones child because of a little bit of foreskin?
What business is it of theirs anyway? Why would someone do that and 'discriminate' a child for that reason?