Circumcision - yay or nay?
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Anonymous
| Nay, as a mom and as a woman. That being said, unless we're talking about my own sons or my own partner, I really don't care. |
Anonymous
| I think the declining rates of circumcision have a lot to do with Medicare no longer paying for circumcision. While some parents with insurance or those that can pay out of pocket think about whether or not to circumcise, many poor families do not have this option since Medicare no longer pays. My cousin who is poor told me no one ever asked her if they were going to circumsice or not, perhaps because her son was born at a public hospital using Medicare funds. I am curious what the circumsion rate is in upper middle class areas around the country. |
Anonymous
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Medicaid. Medicare is for senior citizens.
That definitely accounts for lower circumcision rates in poorer populations, but I suspect - and I have no hard proof of this, it's purely based on anecdotal evidence - that there is also a decline in circumcision rates among people who have means or insurance to pay for it. |
Anonymous
Not a statistically useful sample but among my upper middle class peers its about 50/50 (slightly more circed than not, I'd say). so not payment related. we didn't for the various reasons throughout the thread basically not enough medical need or consensus to justify a procedure which could have risks on our son which could be done later if medically necessary. |
Anonymous
| I didn't circ my now-10-month-old DS, and I'm so glad I didn't. Researched it and decided not to do it. My husband is circ'd but wishes he wasn't. Also, very subjective feelings now: When DS crawls around our house without a diaper on, I like that his penis is protected. I like how his penis looks, as perfect as when he was born. |
Anonymous
| We didn't do it. I felt strongly about leaving him "the way he came out" and wasn't willing to do the procedure in the absence of a medical requirement; we didn't find the STD research convincing enough to sway us. DH was concerned about fitting in but was persuaded by the changing statistics that it wouldn't be an issue in DS's generation. We don't regret it at all. |
Anonymous
| We didn't do it. Have not had any complications (DS is 4). Seems unnecessarily barbaric to chop off a perfectly good piece of a boy's body, for a reason as silly as "he needs to look like Dad" or "people might make fun of him." Sure, if there's a complication and it needs done, then it needs done, just like if I mangle my foot and it needs removed. But I'm not cutting off my feet just in case. |
Anonymous
| I think the "locker room" argument or concerns about being the same within the family are really just excuses people use for whatever they want to do anyway. My husband is not circumcised, but his younger brother is (I don't have a clue why his parents decided this way), and it has never been an issue for him. He's also never had any issues with hygiene. If I were having a boy, I would not be getting it done, because I don't think there's any compelling reason to (outside of religious reasons, which wouldn't apply in my case). |
Anonymous
I am very sorry for your trouble -- that must have been extremely upsetting! For OP's benefit, I wanted to mention that situations like this are essentially always a result of a doctor/nurse who improperly handled the intact penis. Due to our historically high circumcision rate, we have a generation of medical professionals who were not taught how to correctly care for an intact penis, and thus sometimes try to forcibly retract the foreskin (or instruct the parents to pull it back in order to clean), which can sometimes cause tremendous damage to the organ. For clarification, the foreskin is fused to the glans of the penis at birth, and will stay that way for several years. The purpose of the foreskin at this stage is to protect the penis and to prevent dirt/bacteria from entering. Gradually over the course of several years (sometimes as late as puberty), the foreskin loosens and finally retracts. No one, including doctors or parents, should ever retract the child's foreskin for any reason; doing so can cause the exact situation that the PP is describing where it gets "stuck" behind the glans and begins to restrict blood flow. People often quote "hygiene" as a reason to circumcise, but the reality is that an intact penis is extremely easy to care for, as the foreskin should not be manipulated in any way, and the entire penis can be simply wiped just like you would wipe a finger. There is no need to even retract for cleaning purposes until the child reaches puberty, and in that case the boy should be the one doing any retraction. If you haven't figured it out already, I did not circumcise any of my three boys. My DH is circumcised, and we initially just assumed we would be having it done to any sons. While I was pregnant I started researching it, and after extensive reading became more and more horrified that so many people do this to their sons without any real thought or understanding about it. OP, obviously you will make whatever decision is best for your family, but while you are doing your research I encourage you to come up with a list of five benefits of the foreskin, as well as five potential risks of having the surgery. Many people who I've spoken to who claim they "did their research" before circumcising their sons did not really know these two things. For us, knowing that there were significant risks cancelled out any potential benefit of getting circumcised, and knowing that there were great benefits to having a foreskin tipped the scale in favor of leaving the boys intact. Also, it might be helpful to remember that you always have the option of choosing to circumcise in the future should you change your mind, or should your son decides he wants it done. Circumcising at birth removes any future choice in the matter. Good luck to you and congratulations on your son! |
Anonymous
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We decided not to do it for our son, who will be born any day now. That said, I researched it to DEATH and can say I would feel equally comfortable going either way on it---in the end I deferred to DH on the decision and he decided no (despite being Jewish and circ'ed himself, and not caring one way or the other about his own experience with it---in fact, he noted that he'd never thought about it one way or the other before we started grappling with the decision).
Here were our personal views (and please, no attacks---these are our OPINIONS based on what we read/experienced, in the hopes that it will help the OP since we also struggled with this!) - I read the studies and do buy the medical evidence that there may be reduced STD risk and penile cancer risk. I don't personally think this is super relevant to boys growing up in the developed world, though, since with good education about safe sex, they have access to other forms of protection against the STDs, and the penile cancer risk is teeny to begin with, so it wasn't a huge factor. My FIL is a doctor and does not see any medical need for it, but also does not consider it a risky procedure at all (and says he would do it again in a heartbeat for cultural reasons b/c our fam is Jewish--but DH is not especially religious and did not see that as a good argument). - I do have female friends who feel they've had more issues with UTIs and yeast infections while they've been in sexual relationships with (otherwise clean!) uncircumcised men than when they've been with circumcised men. No personal experience with this so dunno if it holds water or not, but that was a little concerning (as creepy as it is to think that far ahead for your kid!) No personal experience with sex with an uncircumcised guy so no clue if it's true that it's more pleasurable for the woman. DH is unconvinced that it could be that different for the male, though of course has no experience on that front either. (I guess that's just to say he's quite satisfied with his sex life as a circumcised guy! 
- On reviewing the literature and talking with my FIL, I don't see a medical risk to speak of associated with the surgery. (That's not to say there are *never* issues, but anything beyond simple infection is incredibly rare.) That said, had we decided to do it, we would have used an experienced pediatrician to do it and would absolutely have done it with local anaesthesia (our hospital actually won't perform it without---and I see no good reason not to use anaesthesia given that the risk for locals/topicals is minimal! My understanding is that in the medical setting, anaesthesia is the norm and the AAP rec, but it may be different in religious settings.) - There are occasional (also rare, but we know of two, so not unheard of) cases where circumcision has to be performed later in childhood because of problems with the foreskin that cause extreme pain to the child. The potential for this scares me a lot because it involves general anaesthesia, which is far riskier than locals, but it's also a very rare occurrence so I try not to think about it. - The "let your child decide for himself when he's an adult" argument is bogus, in my view---adult circumcision is a major medical procedure and not something to be taken lightly, so you are effectively making a decision for your child whichever option you choose. Sure, your kid can decide to do it, but it's a huge and costly undertaking (never covered unless for a medical issue), whereas it's relatively minor surgery for a baby (b/c of developmental stages). By deciding for the infant, you're essentially deciding for your adult child too---and I'm completely fine with that, because it's just the first of many, many medical decisions that you as the parent will make for your child. (Not even the first, arguably, since some labor & delivery decisions affect your child too!) So I don't think that's worth stressing over. You make the best decision you can with the information you have available, and you go with it. - Teasing was an issue for some families I know with older uncircumcised boys (teenagers/young adults now) but I really don't think it's a concern for boys born today because the rates are fast approaching 50/50 (and even tipping the other direction in some parts of the country)---WAY down from the huge majority being circumcised in our generation. So I don't think there will be boys out there will be the only one in the locker room on either side. - We asked our birth instructor, who's a lactation consultant, about the breastfeeding issue and she didn't feel this was a concern one way or the other, at least in her practice---she did not see enough of a pattern to attribute any issues to circumcising or not circumcising. However, she also noted that her sample pool was biased because many parents don't call her until they have latching issues, so she has no idea what the ratios of happily latching circed vs. uncirced babies are like---just that there didn't seem to be a pattern among the babies she did see. Basically, in the end for us it came down to not seeing a terribly strong argument for any medical benefits, and thus going with inaction over action (did not want to do unnecessary surgery). Fingers crossed that there will not be some conclusive evidence in a few years' time suggesting that the medical evidence is much stronger! We also plan to ask our pediatrician candidates about their experience with uncircumcised boys to make sure we get someone supportive of/knowledgeable about the uncircumcised penis and the different challenges. DH is also reading up on things like ballooning and the like so that he will be prepared to take on some of the toilet training issues and care specific to the intact penis as the little guy ages (since by the time most of that comes into play, he'll be a bit old for mom to be involved!) We do have several pregnancy books, and I found the circumcision discussion particularly well balanced in the Mayo Clinic book and "The Birth Partner," a book my husband has---they both present the pros and cons in a pretty objective manner, which I think is key to being able to make sense of it all. Good luck---it's not an easy decision if you don't have a cultural factor or anything driving it! |
Anonymous
| I used to work as a doula and then later as a lactation consultant, and have witnessed several instances where a newborn would refuse to nurse after his circumcision. Usually the mom and baby could overcome this temporary difficulty, but in cases where they were already having some trouble, it contributed to long-term breastfeeding problems. In several cases the mom needed to use formula for a day or two, and in one particularly bad case the baby never breastfed again. It was always heartbreaking to watch these situations unfold when there is a very easy solution: wait a week or two, until breastfeeding is well-established, until having your son circumcised. I still cannot understand why OBs insist on offering this procedure for a 24-hour old baby. My understanding is that a Mohel will perform a circumcision on day 8 (for Jews and non-Jews alike), and pediatric urologists are able to do it at any time, but prefer to do it no later than one month. Hopefully this is helpful to you as you decide how to proceed. Oh, I also wanted to add that obviously there were many moms and babies who had no trouble with breastfeeding after their circumcisions. |
Anonymous
| Parent of middle school boys here. My kids have been teased about many things, but not being circumcised is not one of them. |
Anonymous
According to the CDC
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Anonymous
| This is really the most civil thread on this issue I have ever read on DCUM! Well done, all! |
Anonymous
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I would let the kid descide when it is old enough
I do not believe the talk about aids and circimcision. There is more to the research |