How often does your spouse come home very buzzed or drunk from evening work related events?

[Anonymous]

I am a part time teacher. I never have a work related function that involves alcohol (except socials) so I don't really know what normal is. But it really bothers me that my dh comes home very buzzed or even downright drunk after dinner meetings or 'meeting clients for drinks'. Obvi there is the problem that he drives himself home. But even if he took a cab, I have a problem with him coming home clearly buzzed and then interacting with kids, etc. Also, I'm not much of a drinker but can't imagine being drunk around my children, ever, never mind actually trying to cook, feed, change and put to bed, kwim?

[Anonymous]

Never. He has evening functions or dinners frequently & never comes home drunk or buzzed. I would be livid if he ever drove in that condition. Once this year he had a bit much to drink at a colleague's going-away party, so he had his coworker (who was very pregnant & not drinking anything) to drive him home. But that's the only time I can think of.

[Anonymous]

What business is he in? In some fields, folks drink more while doing business and its more or less expected. In others, getting a buzz on may be unacceptable and cost him his job or at least, his clients or reputation.

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

OP here: IT gov't contractor

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

never. And driving drunk - you need to put a stop to that before he kills someone.

[Anonymous]

never ever. And DH is has tons of clients he often takes out for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:never. And driving drunk - you need to put a stop to that before he kills someone.

**SHE** needs to put a stop to it? Why is she responsible for his choices?

[Anonymous]

My DH does, but he doesn't drive drunk.

[Anonymous]

So far, never. We have been married for 6 years.

I am not from this country and this kind of behavior seems very common in my country - I don't see it much here though. Over there happy hours happen almost everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH does, but he doesn't drive drunk.

OP here: how often? And how does he get home? Does he drive to work usually? I think my dh drinks and drives is b/c a) he thinks people can't tell he's drunk and b) he won't admit he's drunk and calling a cab would ruin both those schema. Also, he drives to work (actually, he doesn't have just one office so he drives all over the city to work) and he would be really screwed if he left his car in say, Tysons, but had to be downtown on the Hill at 8am and we live in Gaithersburg. I'M NOT CONDONING IT. Just explaining why I think he does it. Or at least his distorted thinking b/c I think the real reason he drinks and drives is because he has a drinking problem. But I have been told I am uptight about drinking and "don't understand how it works in business" (not just by him, but by other family members too) so I am trying to get an objective perspective and see how his behavior compares to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So far, never. We have been married for 6 years.

I am not from this country and this kind of behavior seems very common in my country - I don't see it much here though. Over there happy hours happen almost everyday.

In your country, do people routinely care for children while intoxicated, too? If not, then how does that work, exactly?

[Anonymous]

My husband comes home about once every three weeks, slightly buzzed. He takes the Metro, so no driving and the kids are in bed when he gets home. I would be concerned about the driving. Why can't he take public transportation on those nights. I would even go pick him up and take him back the next morning. Drinking and driving is not an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband comes home about once every three weeks, slightly buzzed. He takes the Metro, so no driving and the kids are in bed when he gets home. I would be concerned about the driving. Why can't he take public transportation on those nights. I would even go pick him up and take him back the next morning. Drinking and driving is not an option.

You would wake up your kids and get them out of their beds on a school night, pack them in the car for an hour or so and tell them that you need to go pick up Daddy b/c he got too drunk at work to drive home. Then you would make the kids late for school or else be late for work yourself so that you could drive him back the bar where he was the night before to get his car. And you would do this once or twice a month? Really?