Is this appropriate for the community pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This suit isn't even a tiny bit scandalous. But the moms at DC area pools wear suits that even my grandma would think are too frumpy.

So true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suit isn't even a tiny bit scandalous. But the moms at DC area pools wear suits that even my grandma would think are too frumpy.

So true

I don’t have a problem with the suit posted. But don’t you two think it’s a bit problematic that some women may feel pressured to bare more than they would otherwise like to because of your judgement that otherwise they are too frumpy for even a grandma? It just seems to me just as ridiculous to shame women for wearing conversation suits as it is to shame them for wearing more cheeky suits. It’s two sides of the same coin — women are judged by one group for being too conservative or judged by another group for being too risqué.
Everyone wear what you want! If you want to ask what’s flattering... that might be a different thread but probably just as pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suit isn't even a tiny bit scandalous. But the moms at DC area pools wear suits that even my grandma would think are too frumpy.

So true

I don’t have a problem with the suit posted. But don’t you two think it’s a bit problematic that some women may feel pressured to bare more than they would otherwise like to because of your judgement that otherwise they are too frumpy for even a grandma? It just seems to me just as ridiculous to shame women for wearing conversation suits as it is to shame them for wearing more cheeky suits. It’s two sides of the same coin — women are judged by one group for being too conservative or judged by another group for being too risqué.
Everyone wear what you want! If you want to ask what’s flattering... that might be a different thread but probably just as pointless.

Um, why post such a concern in this thread? OP owns the suit, she likes the suit, she’s just worried she will be judged. By your logic, since it’s def her preference she should wear it without hesitation.

Except people like you keep trying to flip the argument to “why are women pressured to show skin? Which doesn’t seem relevant, except now OP’s hearing the exact sort of judgement she was wondering about. If anything OP should ignore all the forthright affirmative responses and focus on people like you derailing the discussion. Because, yes, there’s a prudish streak at community pools, that much has been illustrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suit isn't even a tiny bit scandalous. But the moms at DC area pools wear suits that even my grandma would think are too frumpy.

So true

I don’t have a problem with the suit posted. But don’t you two think it’s a bit problematic that some women may feel pressured to bare more than they would otherwise like to because of your judgement that otherwise they are too frumpy for even a grandma? It just seems to me just as ridiculous to shame women for wearing conversation suits as it is to shame them for wearing more cheeky suits. It’s two sides of the same coin — women are judged by one group for being too conservative or judged by another group for being too risqué.
Everyone wear what you want! If you want to ask what’s flattering... that might be a different thread but probably just as pointless.

Many of those women feel pressured not to bare more than they like, but to cover up more than they’d prefer bc ppl around here are judgey, prudish a**holes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suit isn't even a tiny bit scandalous. But the moms at DC area pools wear suits that even my grandma would think are too frumpy.

So true

I don’t have a problem with the suit posted. But don’t you two think it’s a bit problematic that some women may feel pressured to bare more than they would otherwise like to because of your judgement that otherwise they are too frumpy for even a grandma? It just seems to me just as ridiculous to shame women for wearing conversation suits as it is to shame them for wearing more cheeky suits. It’s two sides of the same coin — women are judged by one group for being too conservative or judged by another group for being too risqué.
Everyone wear what you want! If you want to ask what’s flattering... that might be a different thread but probably just as pointless.

Many of those women feel pressured not to bare more than they like, but to cover up more than they’d prefer bc ppl around here are judgey, prudish a**holes.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, how was Memorial Day weekend at the pool? Did you wear the suit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with all your pools?? I am fit, wear bikinis, not thongs, not string bikinis, but normal ones, and nobody has ever made me feel like I’m walking about being judged and gossiped about at my pool. No idea if “the other dads” stare, doubt they do, but am I trying to seduce them or attract them? Uh, no. Most of your husbands are pale and flabby with Marvel trunks and ugly flip flops on. I am not interested. I hate this forum so much lately. It’s just constantly shaming other women for choices they make- Botox, bathing suits, jeans, makeup. Depressing to see how little all of you think of other women. And most of it is in your head.

Agree. How are adult women still hung up on bathing suits being operationally equivalent to underwear. True enough, but we do this so that we can swim, and we treat everyone else who's forced to do this with the benign neglect we expect to receive. All the more so at the community pool where it's only about the kids. To flip this social contract and shame everyone into wearing a wall of fabric is retrograde. I didn't like you gals when you wore pants under your skirts to use the playground equipment, and I can't believe after all these years you haven't progressed beyond your I see London phase. (If all you see is a covering, I've done my job.)

This forum has been awful lately. There an entire chorus that needs each topic answered as if they've dropped in from outerspace...

Wait -- are you saying you didn't like other children because they wore tumbling shorts under their skirts? Really? I don't ever remember wearing a skirt to the playground as a kid -- girls just didn't really do that in the 70s, skirts were for church and grandma's sunday dinner...but I cannot imagine liking or disliking another child based on whether they wore shorts under their skirts. And you're complaining about women being judgmental?

I think the point is, how many layers of fabric do you need between your vagina and the outside world to be considered appropriate? When you wear a skirt, the underwear covers your vagina. Now you’re telling me you need to cover the underwear, so no one can see that as well? Really, why? Because it’s touching your genitals?

I don’t care how many layers of fabric you have between your vagina and the outside world (although at least one is appreciated), but I strongly object to the idea that girls or women are going to judge other girls and women who choose to have more than one layer or choose to wear something a little less revealing. Boys are allowed to wear shorts on the playground equipment—why can’t girls? And if they want to put a skirt on over it so they have a little flounce, what is that something you have a problem with?
I wear swim shorts usually to the pool so I don’t have to shave my crotch or upper thighs so often. Men never shave their crotch—I’m not sure why we do. I’m happy with my choice but it sounds like you wouldn’t like me because of it. That seems like a weird decision, especially for someone who is complaining about women judging other women.

I'm the PP who mentioned "I see London" and you are really reaching if you think I judge women who cover up, that is not what I said. What I found annoying in preschool, was there was a certain sort who went out of their way to point out any sliver of underwear, you know the rhyme. And this thread is the grown up equivalent. OP owns the swimsuit, she must like it, why can't she wear it around children? How is that an affront to women who like wearing shorts and rash guards? It isn't. You're imagining this judgement. Personally I love the cheeky suits, they're flattering and it don't require shaving, the way hi-cuts or other front configurations may. I look terrible in lycra shorts, plus they can be chilly if it takes longer to dry off. But you do you.

lol you specifically said you did not like other girls who wore shorts under their skirts. When I was that age I liked to wear skirts and I also wanted to play. So my mom put me in a skirt with shorts underneath so I could enjoy myself without showing my underwear to everyone. Sorry your mom didn’t take care of you in the same way as a young girl. That must have been embarrassing and difficult. FYI, in case your mom didn’t teach you about slips, you may want to get up to speed. I bet you’re walking around in see through dresses and don’t even know it.

Wow the truth comes out, hope you didn’t land on your head too many times attempting cherry bombs in skirt, pants and a slip. Surely your mother didn’t let anyone glimpse the outline of your slacks through a skirt in full sun. Do you make your kids wear three swimsuits? I’m now convinced you were insufferable on the playground.

There’s at least two different women responding to you that were taken aback by you that as a child you didn’t like little girls who wore shorts under their skirts. I’m a little stunned you haven’t backed off that statement. I’m still hoping you just mis-spoke and that there are not little girls who make playground friends based on that.

Yep, multiple people responding to this ridiculous statement.

Given the number of pages on this thread I have no trouble believing there at least three humorless prudes, but thanks for the count.

I can spell it out. I was not bullied for showing my underwear, because I didn't. I wore shorts without skirts, makes more sense to me. I don't have an issue with girls wearing shorts under their skirts, except that IME they often did it in part to police other (usually younger) girls, the tone of some of the objections to OP's suit brought that to mind, and these responses about my bad mother, and not understanding slips sure bear that out.

News flash when you wear a skirted suit into water, it sticks to your contours and you look very much like any other body in a pool. I think OP's suit is more practical.

Who is wearing a skirted suit in the water? Multiple people are pointing out that your weird hang up around young girls wearing shorts under their skirt is just really, really, really strange. I am one of the pps above who wore shorts under skirts as a young girl and wears a slip and I see nothing wrong with the suit op posted and I definitely do not wear a skirt suit or a rash guard to the pool. Lol. Also elementary school must have really made an impression on you, I literally have not thought of what I wore to the playground I guess since that time. Seek help!

This is a really weird discussion. I had no idea that ppl would have a problem with my girls wearing skorts as they are now called in the park. If a girl wants to wear shorts under her dress or skirt to feel more comfortable what’s wrong with that?

This entire forum is disturbing. OP I have no issues with your swimsuit and think the bow is cute! I would just go to your community pool and get a feel for what you’d be comfortable wearing. Some of the comments here are super mean wherever ppl are on the modesty front. I am in my late thirties and have three kids. I’m thin - a size two but unfortunately I ended up with a major diastasis after my second that hasn’t gone away. So yes I wear ruching because it makes me feel more comfortable about my belly. I had no idea other ppl were judging me for being frumpy I am doing physical therapy and if I am unable to close my gap I plan on doing surgery because it’s causing me back and hip issues as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with all your pools?? I am fit, wear bikinis, not thongs, not string bikinis, but normal ones, and nobody has ever made me feel like I’m walking about being judged and gossiped about at my pool. No idea if “the other dads” stare, doubt they do, but am I trying to seduce them or attract them? Uh, no. Most of your husbands are pale and flabby with Marvel trunks and ugly flip flops on. I am not interested. I hate this forum so much lately. It’s just constantly shaming other women for choices they make- Botox, bathing suits, jeans, makeup. Depressing to see how little all of you think of other women. And most of it is in your head.

Agree. How are adult women still hung up on bathing suits being operationally equivalent to underwear. True enough, but we do this so that we can swim, and we treat everyone else who's forced to do this with the benign neglect we expect to receive. All the more so at the community pool where it's only about the kids. To flip this social contract and shame everyone into wearing a wall of fabric is retrograde. I didn't like you gals when you wore pants under your skirts to use the playground equipment, and I can't believe after all these years you haven't progressed beyond your I see London phase. (If all you see is a covering, I've done my job.)

This forum has been awful lately. There an entire chorus that needs each topic answered as if they've dropped in from outerspace...

Wait -- are you saying you didn't like other children because they wore tumbling shorts under their skirts? Really? I don't ever remember wearing a skirt to the playground as a kid -- girls just didn't really do that in the 70s, skirts were for church and grandma's sunday dinner...but I cannot imagine liking or disliking another child based on whether they wore shorts under their skirts. And you're complaining about women being judgmental?

I think the point is, how many layers of fabric do you need between your vagina and the outside world to be considered appropriate? When you wear a skirt, the underwear covers your vagina. Now you’re telling me you need to cover the underwear, so no one can see that as well? Really, why? Because it’s touching your genitals?

I don’t care how many layers of fabric you have between your vagina and the outside world (although at least one is appreciated), but I strongly object to the idea that girls or women are going to judge other girls and women who choose to have more than one layer or choose to wear something a little less revealing. Boys are allowed to wear shorts on the playground equipment—why can’t girls? And if they want to put a skirt on over it so they have a little flounce, what is that something you have a problem with?
I wear swim shorts usually to the pool so I don’t have to shave my crotch or upper thighs so often. Men never shave their crotch—I’m not sure why we do. I’m happy with my choice but it sounds like you wouldn’t like me because of it. That seems like a weird decision, especially for someone who is complaining about women judging other women.

I'm the PP who mentioned "I see London" and you are really reaching if you think I judge women who cover up, that is not what I said. What I found annoying in preschool, was there was a certain sort who went out of their way to point out any sliver of underwear, you know the rhyme. And this thread is the grown up equivalent. OP owns the swimsuit, she must like it, why can't she wear it around children? How is that an affront to women who like wearing shorts and rash guards? It isn't. You're imagining this judgement. Personally I love the cheeky suits, they're flattering and it don't require shaving, the way hi-cuts or other front configurations may. I look terrible in lycra shorts, plus they can be chilly if it takes longer to dry off. But you do you.

lol you specifically said you did not like other girls who wore shorts under their skirts. When I was that age I liked to wear skirts and I also wanted to play. So my mom put me in a skirt with shorts underneath so I could enjoy myself without showing my underwear to everyone. Sorry your mom didn’t take care of you in the same way as a young girl. That must have been embarrassing and difficult. FYI, in case your mom didn’t teach you about slips, you may want to get up to speed. I bet you’re walking around in see through dresses and don’t even know it.

Wow the truth comes out, hope you didn’t land on your head too many times attempting cherry bombs in skirt, pants and a slip. Surely your mother didn’t let anyone glimpse the outline of your slacks through a skirt in full sun. Do you make your kids wear three swimsuits? I’m now convinced you were insufferable on the playground.

There’s at least two different women responding to you that were taken aback by you that as a child you didn’t like little girls who wore shorts under their skirts. I’m a little stunned you haven’t backed off that statement. I’m still hoping you just mis-spoke and that there are not little girls who make playground friends based on that.

Yep, multiple people responding to this ridiculous statement.

Given the number of pages on this thread I have no trouble believing there at least three humorless prudes, but thanks for the count.

I can spell it out. I was not bullied for showing my underwear, because I didn't. I wore shorts without skirts, makes more sense to me. I don't have an issue with girls wearing shorts under their skirts, except that IME they often did it in part to police other (usually younger) girls, the tone of some of the objections to OP's suit brought that to mind, and these responses about my bad mother, and not understanding slips sure bear that out.

News flash when you wear a skirted suit into water, it sticks to your contours and you look very much like any other body in a pool. I think OP's suit is more practical.

Who is wearing a skirted suit in the water? Multiple people are pointing out that your weird hang up around young girls wearing shorts under their skirt is just really, really, really strange. I am one of the pps above who wore shorts under skirts as a young girl and wears a slip and I see nothing wrong with the suit op posted and I definitely do not wear a skirt suit or a rash guard to the pool. Lol. Also elementary school must have really made an impression on you, I literally have not thought of what I wore to the playground I guess since that time. Seek help!

This is a really weird discussion. I had no idea that ppl would have a problem with my girls wearing skorts as they are now called in the park. If a girl wants to wear shorts under her dress or skirt to feel more comfortable what’s wrong with that?

This entire forum is disturbing. OP I have no issues with your swimsuit and think the bow is cute! I would just go to your community pool and get a feel for what you’d be comfortable wearing. Some of the comments here are super mean wherever ppl are on the modesty front. I am in my late thirties and have three kids. I’m thin - a size two but unfortunately I ended up with a major diastasis after my second that hasn’t gone away. So yes I wear ruching because it makes me feel more comfortable about my belly. I had no idea other ppl were judging me for being frumpy I am doing physical therapy and if I am unable to close my gap I plan on doing surgery because it’s causing me back and hip issues as well.

Also to the person making fun of the woman wearing capris and a rash guard to the pool did you ever consider that it may be because of her religious beliefs? I’m Muslim and not that conservative but am happy that women are conservative are finally swimming instead of sitting on the sidelines and watching their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the country where I live, almost everyone wears bikinis. Older women, chubby women, pregnant women, the majority are wearing two pieces. It would be strange for mothers with little kids to be wearing those giant American suits that cover everything: don't you WANT to feel the sun and air on your skin in stead of wet lengths of fabric? Why does your body become grotesque and shameful when you are an adult? Furthermore, why are you all staring at each other like that?

Yes! I’m originally from CA and lived in France and people are comfortable with themselves in a way that is seen as revolutionary here.

+1 for this Miami native

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the country where I live, almost everyone wears bikinis. Older women, chubby women, pregnant women, the majority are wearing two pieces. It would be strange for mothers with little kids to be wearing those giant American suits that cover everything: don't you WANT to feel the sun and air on your skin in stead of wet lengths of fabric? Why does your body become grotesque and shameful when you are an adult? Furthermore, why are you all staring at each other like that?

Yes! I’m originally from CA and lived in France and people are comfortable with themselves in a way that is seen as revolutionary here.

+1 for this Miami native

+2, also grew up in CA

[Anonymous]

I say this as a person on whom that would NOT look good -- no big deal if it looks good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a person on whom that would NOT look good -- no big deal if it looks good.

And no big deal if it doesn’t. It’s 97 degrees and people are swimming. They can wear whatever they like and feel good and comfortable in even if other people don’t think it “looks good.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think it's inappropriate for a family pool. Like a PP said, just kids, dads and moms there. And in none of those cases is it appropriate for you to walk around in front of them with your butt hanging out of your suit.

Why? What if it were a resort with kids or a beach with kids? How will it affect young minds to some minor butt cheek? Come on.

You aren't at a resort laying in a lounge chair while the waiter brings you another margarita. You are with people you see at school functions, sports games, etc. all year. I don't think these suits are "inappropriate", but, most women aren't wearing these at local community pools whether they have a hot body or not. Is the suit going to stay in place while you run after a kid or have to dig through your cooler to find a drink?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think it's inappropriate for a family pool. Like a PP said, just kids, dads and moms there. And in none of those cases is it appropriate for you to walk around in front of them with your butt hanging out of your suit.

Why? What if it were a resort with kids or a beach with kids? How will it affect young minds to some minor butt cheek? Come on.

You aren't at a resort laying in a lounge chair while the waiter brings you another margarita. You are with people you see at school functions, sports games, etc. all year. I don't think these suits are "inappropriate", but, most women aren't wearing these at local community pools whether they have a hot body or not. Is the suit going to stay in place while you run after a kid or have to dig through your cooler to find a drink?[/quote]

LMAO, that’s not exactly an active endeavor. How out of shape are you?

[Anonymous]

If you can pull it off good for you- but just know everyone will be staring at your ass and everyone will be talking about you. That is a lot more butt cheek than I’ve seen on any women at our club pool. I would expect a teenager to wear this, not a Mom. I think it’s a bit too skimpy for the “community pool”...however, if you were in Europe no one would bat an eyelash.