Misdelivered ham

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that:

a) one neighbor feels that it is so much work to take a package over to another neighbor. (We live on one of three streets that start with the same word in our neighborhood and we all constantly receive each other's packages. These aren't even close enough to walk; we have to drive to redeliver, but part of being in a community means that you do things for each other.)
b) DCUM thought she was entitled to keep the package
c) she feels that she deserves to receive a somewhat pricey item from the company, which already sent a ham.

OP, you and all of your fellow ham thieves are really a piece of work. Of course, your neighbors wanted their package. They knew you had it and they, not you, had paid for it (or received it as a gift). If you had received their new iPhone would you be entitled to keep that too?

USA 3.0 FRA 2.5 JPN 2.5 CAN 3.5 ITA 3.0 GDR 1.5 NED 3.5 Degree of Difficulty for trolling a DCUM thread about ham 0.1 Total score:0.85

Secondhand ham sounds like the saddest Christmas dinner.

yep, movie title, band name, song name replacement for Larla.
Well I'd eat that secondhand ham gladly!

Secondhand ham is also a good band name.

Or Secondham hand

The Second Ham Band

[Anonymous]

Secondham Skam Band

They only play English Beat covers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Secondham Skam Band

They only play English Beat covers.

Blast. Secondham Skham

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next year OP keeps the ham, and if the neighbors come a-knocking for it, just lie and say you don’t have it. Because at that point it will obviously be a skham on their part.

+1 Say, "What ham? I have no idea what you are talking about."

Pretend like you don't know who they are and mess with them. It would be fun to hear or see their reactions!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd seen this post and ignored it at first but was curious that it managed to go for so many pages.

I think the second ham should have also come to OP. That's what would happen in the Jerry Seinfeld version. And of course more hams . . . but then tripe as well.

I think in the movie the romance should involve OP and the ham company guy whose secular Jewish gf has decided to seek the roots of her faith and no longer wanted any association with a a guy with no religion who is in the ham business. She's also changing her phone number because she's tired of telling him they are done. It had been a nice relationship but he hasn't quite realized that it had always lacked smoke and honey. He sees repeated call attempts from OP and thinks it's his ex trying to repair things but he can't get through to OP. Meanwhile there is yet another irate email from the intended ham recipient, everyone else at the company is leaving early for xmas eve and the CEO tells him to fix the problem with ham recipient, because he's been mooning and brooding and performance not up to par. He drives out to OP's house since he can't call her. He gets lost in cul de sacs more than once so she offers to ride with him to the HR address. Which has an off vide because they are actually food industry spies who have been trying to reverse engineer the glaze (among other industrial espionage efforts), they figure it out and the bad people are busted and OP and the ham company guy donate the ham to an ecumenical faith based organization that feeds poor people and spend Christmas serving up sliced ham and turkey and True Meaning of Christmas and love ensue.

I love you although you need a better name for ham company guy. He also must wear flannel at least occasionally.

Also must wear LL Bean boots and a plaid scarf tied just so. Hair must be parted on the side. He will need white chicklet teeth.

[Anonymous]

~I think this thread might get added to the DCUM classics list.

[Anonymous]

Just say this on my neighborhood listserve and thought of this, my favorite December 2020 thread (after the Hilaria thread, of course). Names changed.

We just returned from a 2 month trip to find a delivered box with a honey baked ham for Sam and Cynthia E. It was sent to our address, and my name is Cynthia A. I feel sorry for both Sam and Cynthia who did not get this gift, and for “Mom and Jack” who sent it. Also for the poor ham which, alas, will have to be ditched as it has sat unrefrigerated for over a month. Fortunately, it still smells edible, so no nasty surprise on our end.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if anyone will receive an Easter ham?

I suggest we all start preparations for Easter hams to ensure proper delivery. I would certainly hate for anyones spiritual Easter ham to be delivered and they be forced to eat a turkey or worse a rotisserie chicken!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if anyone will receive an Easter ham?

I suggest we all start preparations for Easter hams to ensure proper delivery. I would certainly hate for anyones spiritual Easter ham to be delivered and they be forced to eat a turkey or worse a rotisserie chicken!

*misdelivered* not delivered

[Anonymous]

Hamless OP:

This thread had me snorting with laughter last Christmas and inspired me to order Honey Baked Hams for my dad and FIL for Father’s Day. Huge hit!

Anyway, we MUST have a detailed update / running commentary / live play-by-play of Hamgate 2021.
All of us DCUM piggies need to know how the misdelivered pork plays out this year!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say this on my neighborhood listserve and thought of this, my favorite December 2020 thread (after the Hilaria thread, of course). Names changed.

We just returned from a 2 month trip to find a delivered box with a honey baked ham for Sam and Cynthia E. It was sent to our address, and my name is Cynthia A. I feel sorry for both Sam and Cynthia who did not get this gift, and for “Mom and Jack” who sent it. Also for the poor ham which, alas, will have to be ditched as it has sat unrefrigerated for over a month. Fortunately, it still smells edible, so no nasty surprise on our end.

Had forgotten about both these threads. We need a crossover series: “Ham for Hilaria” or “Hambon por Hilària with English Subtitles”

[Anonymous]

The Baldwins could really use a Honeybaked Ham right about now.

[Anonymous]

Yes, hopefully OP sees this and lets us know if they get a ham again.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, PPs, for resurrecting this thread. Yay!

It's funny how there is a DCUM thread or two that has become part of my personal holiday tradition. This one is a keeper, for sure.

[Anonymous]

What's the resale value on a honey baked ham? Is it like Bitcoin?