Misdelivered ham

[Anonymous]

I like the turn the film is taking. Flannely Sixpacker discovers Dickish Von Rich has been cheating on our young pr executive and is the mastermind behind the ham heisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that:

a) one neighbor feels that it is so much work to take a package over to another neighbor. (We live on one of three streets that start with the same word in our neighborhood and we all constantly receive each other's packages. These aren't even close enough to walk; we have to drive to redeliver, but part of being in a community means that you do things for each other.)
b) DCUM thought she was entitled to keep the package
c) she feels that she deserves to receive a somewhat pricey item from the company, which already sent a ham.

OP, you and all of your fellow ham thieves are really a piece of work. Of course, your neighbors wanted their package. They knew you had it and they, not you, had paid for it (or received it as a gift). If you had received their new iPhone would you be entitled to keep that too?

And you, are a sanctimonious a55hole that nobody likes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that:

a) one neighbor feels that it is so much work to take a package over to another neighbor. (We live on one of three streets that start with the same word in our neighborhood and we all constantly receive each other's packages. These aren't even close enough to walk; we have to drive to redeliver, but part of being in a community means that you do things for each other.)
b) DCUM thought she was entitled to keep the package
c) she feels that she deserves to receive a somewhat pricey item from the company, which already sent a ham.

OP, you and all of your fellow ham thieves are really a piece of work. Of course, your neighbors wanted their package. They knew you had it and they, not you, had paid for it (or received it as a gift). If you had received their new iPhone would you be entitled to keep that too?

Your role would be played by Kelsey Grammer.

I was going to say Alan Rickman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that:

a) one neighbor feels that it is so much work to take a package over to another neighbor. (We live on one of three streets that start with the same word in our neighborhood and we all constantly receive each other's packages. These aren't even close enough to walk; we have to drive to redeliver, but part of being in a community means that you do things for each other.)
b) DCUM thought she was entitled to keep the package
c) she feels that she deserves to receive a somewhat pricey item from the company, which already sent a ham.

OP, you and all of your fellow ham thieves are really a piece of work. Of course, your neighbors wanted their package. They knew you had it and they, not you, had paid for it (or received it as a gift). If you had received their new iPhone would you be entitled to keep that too?

USA 3.0 FRA 2.5 JPN 2.5 CAN 3.5 ITA 3.0 GDR 1.5 NED 3.5 Degree of Difficulty for trolling a DCUM thread about ham 0.1 Total score:0.85

Secondhand ham sounds like the saddest Christmas dinner.

Well I'd eat that secondhand ham gladly!

Secondhand ham is also a good band name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that:

a) one neighbor feels that it is so much work to take a package over to another neighbor. (We live on one of three streets that start with the same word in our neighborhood and we all constantly receive each other's packages. These aren't even close enough to walk; we have to drive to redeliver, but part of being in a community means that you do things for each other.)
b) DCUM thought she was entitled to keep the package
c) she feels that she deserves to receive a somewhat pricey item from the company, which already sent a ham.

OP, you and all of your fellow ham thieves are really a piece of work. Of course, your neighbors wanted their package. They knew you had it and they, not you, had paid for it (or received it as a gift). If you had received their new iPhone would you be entitled to keep that too?

Your role would be played by Kelsey Grammer.

I was going to say Alan Rickman.

Played by this lady. I like the Kelsey suggestion for pedantic and the Alan suggestion for pure evil, but Sanctimonious Susan is STUPID. She doesn't realize that the ham recipients had three years to change the address. The address is correct, but the name is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that:

a) one neighbor feels that it is so much work to take a package over to another neighbor. (We live on one of three streets that start with the same word in our neighborhood and we all constantly receive each other's packages. These aren't even close enough to walk; we have to drive to redeliver, but part of being in a community means that you do things for each other.)
b) DCUM thought she was entitled to keep the package
c) she feels that she deserves to receive a somewhat pricey item from the company, which already sent a ham.

OP, you and all of your fellow ham thieves are really a piece of work. Of course, your neighbors wanted their package. They knew you had it and they, not you, had paid for it (or received it as a gift). If you had received their new iPhone would you be entitled to keep that too?

USA 3.0 FRA 2.5 JPN 2.5 CAN 3.5 ITA 3.0 GDR 1.5 NED 3.5 Degree of Difficulty for trolling a DCUM thread about ham 0.1 Total score:0.85

Secondhand ham sounds like the saddest Christmas dinner.

yep, movie title, band name, song name replacement for Larla.
Well I'd eat that secondhand ham gladly!

Secondhand ham is also a good band name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that:

a) one neighbor feels that it is so much work to take a package over to another neighbor. (We live on one of three streets that start with the same word in our neighborhood and we all constantly receive each other's packages. These aren't even close enough to walk; we have to drive to redeliver, but part of being in a community means that you do things for each other.)
b) DCUM thought she was entitled to keep the package
c) she feels that she deserves to receive a somewhat pricey item from the company, which already sent a ham.

OP, you and all of your fellow ham thieves are really a piece of work. Of course, your neighbors wanted their package. They knew you had it and they, not you, had paid for it (or received it as a gift). If you had received their new iPhone would you be entitled to keep that too?

USA 3.0 FRA 2.5 JPN 2.5 CAN 3.5 ITA 3.0 GDR 1.5 NED 3.5 Degree of Difficulty for trolling a DCUM thread about ham 0.1 Total score:0.85

Secondhand ham sounds like the saddest Christmas dinner.

yep, movie title, band name, song name replacement for Larla.
Well I'd eat that secondhand ham gladly!

Secondhand ham is also a good band name.

Or Secondham hand

[Anonymous]

I’m actually checking back to see if there was an update. I’m hoping the OP’s neighbor gets the second ham — and takes it over to the OP.

[Anonymous]

OP- any Christmas hamiracles?

[Anonymous]

Gift of the Hamgi

[Anonymous]

I'd seen this post and ignored it at first but was curious that it managed to go for so many pages.

I think the second ham should have also come to OP. That's what would happen in the Jerry Seinfeld version. And of course more hams . . . but then tripe as well.

I think in the movie the romance should involve OP and the ham company guy whose secular Jewish gf has decided to seek the roots of her faith and no longer wanted any association with a a guy with no religion who is in the ham business. She's also changing her phone number because she's tired of telling him they are done. It had been a nice relationship but he hasn't quite realized that it had always lacked smoke and honey. He sees repeated call attempts from OP and thinks it's his ex trying to repair things but he can't get through to OP. Meanwhile there is yet another irate email from the intended ham recipient, everyone else at the company is leaving early for xmas eve and the CEO tells him to fix the problem with ham recipient, because he's been mooning and brooding and performance not up to par. He drives out to OP's house since he can't call her. He gets lost in cul de sacs more than once so she offers to ride with him to the HR address. Which has an off vide because they are actually food industry spies who have been trying to reverse engineer the glaze (among other industrial espionage efforts), they figure it out and the bad people are busted and OP and the ham company guy donate the ham to an ecumenical faith based organization that feeds poor people and spend Christmas serving up sliced ham and turkey and True Meaning of Christmas and love ensue.

[Anonymous]

*vibe, not vide although a large amount of sous vide equipment is what tips them off that all is not. . . kosher . . . at the HR's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd seen this post and ignored it at first but was curious that it managed to go for so many pages.

I think the second ham should have also come to OP. That's what would happen in the Jerry Seinfeld version. And of course more hams . . . but then tripe as well.

I think in the movie the romance should involve OP and the ham company guy whose secular Jewish gf has decided to seek the roots of her faith and no longer wanted any association with a a guy with no religion who is in the ham business. She's also changing her phone number because she's tired of telling him they are done. It had been a nice relationship but he hasn't quite realized that it had always lacked smoke and honey. He sees repeated call attempts from OP and thinks it's his ex trying to repair things but he can't get through to OP. Meanwhile there is yet another irate email from the intended ham recipient, everyone else at the company is leaving early for xmas eve and the CEO tells him to fix the problem with ham recipient, because he's been mooning and brooding and performance not up to par. He drives out to OP's house since he can't call her. He gets lost in cul de sacs more than once so she offers to ride with him to the HR address. Which has an off vide because they are actually food industry spies who have been trying to reverse engineer the glaze (among other industrial espionage efforts), they figure it out and the bad people are busted and OP and the ham company guy donate the ham to an ecumenical faith based organization that feeds poor people and spend Christmas serving up sliced ham and turkey and True Meaning of Christmas and love ensue.

I love you although you need a better name for ham company guy. He also must wear flannel at least occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Next year OP keeps the ham, and if the neighbors come a-knocking for it, just lie and say you don’t have it. Because at that point it will obviously be a skham on their part.

[Anonymous]

Return to he sender