Let's have the abortion talk here. Right here. This thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Essentially pro-life here, though I understand the arguements re: pro-choice and would not advocate against it. IF I had to vote specifically for it I would not be able to do so.

I am just curious why more women don't choose adoption. How is abortion, especially if performed after the first few weeks an easier decision in the long run. Just curious why more don't advocate for nine months of inconvenience and then life.

I'm going to post a link to a really interesting and thought-provoking piece on this very subject. I am not a birthmother, but the author is.

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am just curious why more women don't choose adoption. How is abortion, especially if performed after the first few weeks an easier decision in the long run. Just curious why more don't advocate for nine months of inconvenience and then life.

Well, for one, many are young women who may be living at home with parents who would either kick her out or pressure her to marry the father; she may be in college and cannot afford a year-long detour, maybe she's in a relationship and had a one night stand and doesn't know for sure who the father is... all situations where a pregnancy means risking food, shelter, education, etc. Then there's the whole piece pro-lifers are missing: to most women who are seeking an abortion, they don't see this as murder of a human child, but as a medical procedure and a mass of cells that has the potential to become a human. Adoption, however, would involve allowing that mass of cells to grow into a person over 10 months, give birth to it, and then the decision to give it up for adoption would/could be overwhelming and impossible. I know that can be hard to understand but at 10 weeks, I wouldn't have an emotional attachment nor believe it's a child, whereas after 10 months of carrying a child, I would be attached and have a hard time giving that child to strangers.

Anonymous wrote:
Also - while a sensative subject I find it difficult to accept the ' my child will not be perfect so I am going to abort issue'. No parent would choose to be in this position and I am so sorry anyone has to go through this. The anguish must be terrible but this represents a slippery slope IMO.

I think you are misunderstanding why the great majority of late term abortions are taking place: these women are getting diagnoses of "incompatible with life", meaning that if the child manages to survive to term, they will die within minutes/ hours/ days of birth and will very likely suffer during that time. This is a decision to spare the (wanted) child the suffering that birth would entail, as a mercy to the child. No one is suggesting women are aborting for minor imperfections at 23 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am just curious why more women don't choose adoption. How is abortion, especially if performed after the first few weeks an easier decision in the long run. Just curious why more don't advocate for nine months of inconvenience and then life.

Well, for one, many are young women who may be living at home with parents who would either kick her out or pressure her to marry the father; she may be in college and cannot afford a year-long detour, maybe she's in a relationship and had a one night stand and doesn't know for sure who the father is... all situations where a pregnancy means risking food, shelter, education, etc. Then there's the whole piece pro-lifers are missing: to most women who are seeking an abortion, they don't see this as murder of a human child, but as a medical procedure and a mass of cells that has the potential to become a human. Adoption, however, would involve allowing that mass of cells to grow into a person over 10 months, give birth to it, and then the decision to give it up for adoption would/could be overwhelming and impossible. I know that can be hard to understand but at 10 weeks, I wouldn't have an emotional attachment nor believe it's a child, whereas after 10 months of carrying a child, I would be attached and have a hard time giving that child to strangers.

Anonymous wrote:
Also - while a sensative subject I find it difficult to accept the ' my child will not be perfect so I am going to abort issue'. No parent would choose to be in this position and I am so sorry anyone has to go through this. The anguish must be terrible but this represents a slippery slope IMO.

I think you are misunderstanding why the great majority of late term abortions are taking place: these women are getting diagnoses of "incompatible with life", meaning that if the child manages to survive to term, they will die within minutes/ hours/ days of birth and will very likely suffer during that time. This is a decision to spare the (wanted) child the suffering that birth would entail, as a mercy to the child. No one is suggesting women are aborting for minor imperfections at 23 weeks.

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am just curious why more women don't choose adoption. How is abortion, especially if performed after the first few weeks an easier decision in the long run. Just curious why more don't advocate for nine months of inconvenience and then life.

Well, for one, many are young women who may be living at home with parents who would either kick her out or pressure her to marry the father; she may be in college and cannot afford a year-long detour, maybe she's in a relationship and had a one night stand and doesn't know for sure who the father is... all situations where a pregnancy means risking food, shelter, education, etc. Then there's the whole piece pro-lifers are missing: to most women who are seeking an abortion, they don't see this as murder of a human child, but as a medical procedure and a mass of cells that has the potential to become a human. Adoption, however, would involve allowing that mass of cells to grow into a person over 10 months, give birth to it, and then the decision to give it up for adoption would/could be overwhelming and impossible. I know that can be hard to understand but at 10 weeks, I wouldn't have an emotional attachment nor believe it's a child, whereas after 10 months of carrying a child, I would be attached and have a hard time giving that child to strangers.

Anonymous wrote:
Also - while a sensative subject I find it difficult to accept the ' my child will not be perfect so I am going to abort issue'. No parent would choose to be in this position and I am so sorry anyone has to go through this. The anguish must be terrible but this represents a slippery slope IMO.

I think you are misunderstanding why the great majority of late term abortions are taking place: these women are getting diagnoses of "incompatible with life", meaning that if the child manages to survive to term, they will die within minutes/ hours/ days of birth and will very likely suffer during that time. This is a decision to spare the (wanted) child the suffering that birth would entail, as a mercy to the child. No one is suggesting women are aborting for minor imperfections at 23 weeks.

What?

Who are we to play a numbers game of chance?

[Anonymous]

Who are we to play a numbers game of chance?

You don't get to play that "game." The mother and her doctor do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Who are we to play a numbers game of chance?

You don't get to play that "game." The mother and her doctor do.

That'd be me.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to post a link to a really interesting and thought-provoking piece on this very subject. I am not a birthmother, but the author is.

Wow, thanks so much for posting this. There's stuff in here that will really help my SIL, who just discovered that her MIL gave up a baby for adoption 45 years ago, sought him out and is barging him into everyone's lives in a way that's really upset her husband and his brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Essentially pro-life here, though I understand the arguements re: pro-choice and would not advocate against it. IF I had to vote specifically for it I would not be able to do so.

I am just curious why more women don't choose [b]adoption. How is abortion, especially if performed after the first few weeks an easier decision in the long run. Just curious why more don't advocate for nine months of inconvenience and then life. [/b]

Also - while a sensative subject I find it difficult to accept the ' my child will not be perfect so I am going to abort issue'. No parent would choose to be in this position and I am so sorry anyone has to go through this. The anguish must be terrible but this represents a slippery slope IMO.

Finally, what do other pro-lifers think about the thousands of IVF embryos. We had to go that route for our current children and I can't reconcile my anti-abortion stance with destroying those embryos - if life is life when egg meets sperms how else do you slice it? I say this as I get ready for another IVF when I am not sure I want another baby. ACtually I find the notion of a baby easier to deal with than anotehr pregnancy.....Thank God I only have two embryos left!!

I cannot believe this comment. I cannot believe that you can be genuinely curious as to why more women don't choose adoption over abortion! How can you see adoption as a mere nine months of inconvenience?? If this is how you see adoption than I think you lack any ability to empathize and do not have an emotional bone in your body. Imagine what it is like to have to give up a child after having carried him/her around for 10 months and given birth to that child, and forever wonder if he/she ended up in a good home. And then to live with the stigma of having 'given up your child'.

It's precisely because women today have the choice to have abortions that they do not choose the adoption route. Don't you get that? There is a world of difference between removing a fetus during the first trimester, and giving a child away that you have given birth to. Cannot believe that you don't see that.

[Anonymous]

She must have watched Juno. No, stupid "quirky" movie, adoption is not the easiest thing in the world for the relinquishing mother.

[Anonymous]

Abortion VS. Adoption?

There is indeed a world of difference between the termination of life and allowing a CHANCE at an incredible life. For those of us here who were allowed a chance to live, who wishes you had been denied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Abortion VS. Adoption?

There is indeed a world of difference between the termination of life and allowing a CHANCE at an incredible life. For those of us here who were allowed a chance to live, who wishes you had been denied?

It's an academic question. If I hadn't been born, I'd have no opinion. How would I feel about not existing? Nothing. Because I wouldn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abortion VS. Adoption?

There is indeed a world of difference between the termination of life and allowing a CHANCE at an incredible life. For those of us here who were allowed a chance to live, who wishes you had been denied?

It's an academic question. If I hadn't been born, I'd have no opinion. How would I feel about not existing? Nothing. Because I wouldn't exist.

Do you feel that the rest of us (your friends, neighbors, family, coworkers) would be better off, or worse off, if you had not be born alive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Essentially pro-life here, though I understand the arguements re: pro-choice and would not advocate against it. IF I had to vote specifically for it I would not be able to do so.

I am just curious why more women don't choose adoption. How is abortion, especially if performed after the first few weeks an easier decision in the long run. Just curious why more don't advocate for nine months of inconvenience and then life.

Also - while a sensative subject I find it difficult to accept the ' my child will not be perfect so I am going to abort issue'. No parent would choose to be in this position and I am so sorry anyone has to go through this. The anguish must be terrible but this represents a slippery slope IMO.

Finally, what do other pro-lifers think about the thousands of IVF embryos. We had to go that route for our current children and I can't reconcile my anti-abortion stance with destroying those embryos - if life is life when egg meets sperms how else do you slice it? I say this as I get ready for another IVF when I am not sure I want another baby. ACtually I find the notion of a baby easier to deal with than anotehr pregnancy.....Thank God I only have two embryos left!!

Please tell me this is a joke...

You think that women who terminate their pregnancy when told that the child has some horrible developmental deformity is terminating b/c their child won't be perfect???? What - do you think you are doing this child some kind of favor to bring him/her into a world where she/he will never be able to function? I'm sure you think that ANY kind of life would be better than no life at all, but I totally disagree. Yes, it would also be a hardship on the family, but many who choose to terminate under these circumstances do so b/c of the quality of life that the child would have - not the parents.

And your question about adoption is just fucking stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abortion VS. Adoption?

There is indeed a world of difference between the termination of life and allowing a CHANCE at an incredible life. For those of us here who were allowed a chance to live, who wishes you had been denied?

It's an academic question. If I hadn't been born, I'd have no opinion. How would I feel about not existing? Nothing. Because I wouldn't exist.

Do you feel that the rest of us (your friends, neighbors, family, coworkers) would be better off, or worse off, if you had not be born alive?

Let's be adult-like and avoid cussing. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Do all children who have been given up for adoption end up in loving wonderful homes? Anyone know stats? I honestly don't.

Personally I think adoption can be a cruel fate if a child ends up in a foster care cycle. Sure some kids luck out and get great homes but there is no gaurantee. You could be giving up your child and sending him or her off to a miserable life. Not condemning anyone who has chosen this path, it just seems very scary to me. Maybe years and years ago it was different but I have heard too many horrible stories about foster care.