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Let's have the abortion talk here. Right here. This thread.
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Anonymous
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Ok mom.
Look, some of you want people to give these kids a "Chance" at an "incredible" life. My god, do you know how naive that is? For you all, life is life w/o regard to the child's quality of life. Are you going to help out the family financially? Babysit? Help with the diapers, food, milk? Sit up all night with a sick baby? This is the "normal" set of stresses . . . not to mention families that are not equipped financially, emotionally to care for a child. But, hey, no biggie if the kids get ignored, slapped around or whatever b/c the mom didn't have an abortion. I also continue to be amused by the "why don't you just put the baby up for adoption" argument. As if it is like putting a puppy up on Craigslist. And for as far as whose "wishes" should be allowed to be denied. Well, therein lies the profound difference in opinion. I think the wishes and needs of the mom trumps everyone's wishes. Her body being subjected to the rigors of pregnancy and childbirth. Her reputation that endures the stigma associated with many of the choices being suggested. Her life that will be profoundly, profoundly changed. That's it. |
Anonymous
Pregnancy PROFOUNDLY changes your life regardless of what you CHOOSE to do with your pregnancy. Basic obvious fact. |
Anonymous
Brand new poster here: What's wrong with putting your baby up for adoption? It's not a very complicated process for the birth mother. I know this because I nearly adopted a child several years ago. Then I found out I was pregnant with twins. And why in the world would a mother's "wishes" "trump" the life of a child? Of course pregnancy profoundly affects her life. And killing a baby profoundly affect's the baby's life. But I guess you don't care about that. You don't even make a case for why that doesn't bother you. |
Anonymous
| Brand new posters should read the thread before posting. Just a couple of pages back there is a link with a birth mother's story and dozens of comments from other birth mothers indicating that this is a hugely painful event for them. |
Anonymous
Wow, your callousness and complete obliviousness to how the mother carrying the child might feel about putting it up for adoption is astounding. Not a complicated process? Perhaps for you bureaucratically, it all seemed very easy. But did you ever think about how the process was--emotionally--for the mother who had to give up her child? |
Anonymous
Yeah, I did watch Juno and thought it was an annoying movie. But it's not because of that silly movie that I have that attitude. It's because my mother had a child she adopted out when she was 19 (years before she had me and my brother), and I know how it affected her. I can tell you that she has carried a huge emotional scar all her life. Do you think the world is that shallow that people go around basing their heartfelt opinions just on watching movies? |
Anonymous
Did your mother ever regret giving her first child life, and wished instead she had terminated that child's life? |
Anonymous
| There is a fabulous movie called, 4 Months 3 Weeks and 2 Days, about a woman seeking an abortion in communist-era Romania in the 1980's, when both abortion and birth control were outlawed. It's a real thought-provoking movie that doesn't trivialize the abortion issue - it is neither pro nor anti abortion, but it depicts the realities of the choices people make. |
Anonymous
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We've come the wrong way baby.
The psychological effects of abortion are so poorly understood in the medical community. Finally British researchers are looking at medical records of women in the care of psychiatrists to get an understanding of how many suffer after abortion. The psychiatrists did not want to relinquish the records on the grounds of privacy, but the government was able to obtain them. The dreadful thing is that there may be more women who suffer than we thought. They suffer in silence. It is about time we start to look at this scientifically. Who is more likely to suffer and why? These are the questions that need to be answered. Right now it is a guessing game, which is not good enough. Also, there is not enough being done in our "free" society to FORCE men to pay child support. No excuses. How can we judge any woman if the men are never held responsible for their actions? I really like the way Norwegians handle paternity. Yes, mandatory child support, but fathers are to take maternity leave too. Too many employers were discriminating against women who had very generous maternity leave (I think a year), so women of child bearing age were not being hired. So, they made the paternity leave mandatory, so that employers see not befit in hiring a man over a woman. |
Anonymous
"Not as many unwanted, neglected, messed-up children." How many truly wish they had never been born? Some, I suppose, but how many? And I sometimes wonder if perhaps the one person who would have found the cure for cancer or solved the energy crisis or negotiated a perceived-as-impossible peace treaty was never given that chance. |
Anonymous
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""Not as many unwanted, neglected, messed-up children." How many truly wish they had never been born? Some, I suppose, but how many? And I sometimes wonder if perhaps the one person who would have found the cure for cancer or solved the energy crisis or negotiated a perceived-as-impossible peace treaty was never given that chance."
Well, we don't know that do we? Nor could we. I'm not willing to offer up a woman's womb on mere speculation. WHich is what your post is. I commend your optimism about a rosy outcome for all those unwanted babies. But, i think you are naive. Just read the papers, watch the news. The stories are chock full of kids who were "wanted", presumably, and their quality of life is not so great. |
Anonymous
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"Of course pregnancy profoundly affects her life. And killing a baby profoundly affect's the baby's life. But I guess you don't care about that. You don't even make a case for why that doesn't bother you. "
Actually, if you read this entire thread, there are PLENTY of reasons why I and other posters make a case for why the mother's choice takes precedence. You may choose to ignore or belittle those reasons, but they are there. So, please take the time to read them before you post this nonsense. |
Anonymous
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My Mother was adopted. She was given a beautiful life and never took it for granted. HOWEVER, she ALWAYS wondered about her birth mother. She eventually got some medical history from her (she had to go through the agency she was adopted from), and her birth mother said she did not want to meet her. She had a husband and children who knew nothing about her and she did not want to bring it up now. It CRUSHED my Mother. My Aunt was adopted as well and has had issues with it her whole life.
My roommate in college was adopted and had serious issues with the family who raised her. She would always say "you did not give birth to me!". She found her birth mother (who was a bit crazy), and would talk to her on a regular basis and fight with her about why she gave her up. I know another man who was adopted from another country. He loves his adopted parents, but finally went back to his country to try to find his real family. The article that someone posted is VERY good. Most adopted children or adults I have met always wonder. They always hurt a bit inside. They know they most likely have a good life, but that does not make their pain go away. There are pros and cons to both sides. We need to step into someone else's shoes for a while and not be so stuck in our own opinions. |
Anonymous
| I just wanted to say that the people I know who have had abortions do not regret it. Most do not wonder what if I did have the baby. The woman I know who gave her baby up, is still reeling inside. |
Anonymous
| I am a PP. My father was adopted and knowing that and finding out who is birth mother is has been really awful. It really caused a lot of problems for him and his birth mother. |