What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That dealing with your neurotic behavior would go down more easily if the neuroses include hypersexuality as a characteristic.

Trust me, that analgesic wears off. Eventually you won't want even the sex. And mine was a fiendish bunny who indulged every single fantasy I dared mention, with open enthusiasm. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip.

What did you tell him vs. the true number?

Told him 2, real number is 7.

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?

Goes to honesty. My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third. Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.

Correct answer. It's not the number, it's the dishonesty surrounding the number. Why lie unless there was a reason? What else has she felt a reason to lie about?

She lied because women have been told that if you ever have more than 1 sexual partner, you are a not a woman worth dating or marrying. You've lost your value. That's why she kept the number low, and now she feels guilty for it. Which she shouldn't. We don't usually ask men how many sexual partners they've had because in our society, men can be as promiscuous as they want and it's fine. Really, who cares? It's not that big of a deal, and it doesn't impact your character. Her lying because of societal expectations doesn't mean that she's lying on moral or ethical grounds.

Eh, seven isn't that many and very few men would dismiss a woman based on those numbers. In this case it seems more like PP didn't want to have to explain the particular circumstances behind those encounters, so she omitted them. So she didn't lie because the number was high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a male, I scrub really well all around the sack towards the hole. If it's not done, I'm sure there would be lingering dingleberries.

I scrub really well because rubbing with a bunch of sudsy soap in that area feels really, really good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That her obsessive focus on the numbers on the scale is fucking stupid -- a heavier, strong body is sexier than a body which merely contains less mass.

You have a good attitude! Tell her this please, she probably just doesn't realize for some reason.

OK, but at some point, it does make a difference. Not 5 or 10 or perhaps even 20 pounds, but at some point even "lights off and wine" don't help. This goes for the ladies too, from what I am gathering in the thread above.

Well, yeah. But she watches her eating and does nothing but cardio, cardio, cardio. Then when she plateaus and can't move the scale numbers down, she gets all frustrated. Truth is she looks pretty great to me when she gets to that level and if she wants to look even better, it's time to start lifting heavier. Even if the scale numbers stay the same or even go up, stronger and firmer is going to reshape her body and make her look even better. But she has a laser focus (an unhealthy one, in my opinion) on the scale number.

For the most part, however, I try to keep my mouth shut when the topic of weight comes up. She's not looking for my advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a male, I scrub really well all around the sack towards the hole. If it's not done, I'm sure there would be lingering dingleberries.

I scrub really well because rubbing with a bunch of sudsy soap in that area feels really, really good.

Just keep those suds away from your dick hole. Your partner doesn't want your UTI.

[Anonymous]

What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?

We never should have gotten married.

the rest I have said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That I have given up nagging him about brushing his teeth, but it doesn't mean his breath has improved. It just means I can't stand talking about it anymore. Sigh. Why can't a grown man brush his teeth?

bad habits "learned" at home when little.
after that stubbornness and defensiveness around his parents kicks in and he'll never get good habits unless he really realizes that he and his parents aren't always right.

[Anonymous]

AnonymousSo good luck in the dating scene. You'll do ok if you stand on your wallet[/quote wrote:

Which is also what attracted you to this so called POS, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That staging a 6000 sf house and keeping it perfect nearly killed me as I had to do it all solo with three young kids while he was constantly traveling. I know he appreciates me but I don't think he appreciated the hours of backbreaking work it took to do this all on my own. I wish he appreciated it more.

This is sarcasm right?

[Anonymous]

I was going to leave you when you got sick.

I will if you recover.

[Anonymous]

That we are $15,000 in credit debt and living paycheck to paycheck...but since he wants nothing to do with the finances and leaves me to figure things out...when he spends and spends...it is on me...and I can't do it. We BOTH have to participate, and be aware of the finances. Don't call me cheap when I don't want to go out to dinner because I am aware of the finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That we are $15,000 in credit debt and living paycheck to paycheck...but since he wants nothing to do with the finances and leaves me to figure things out...when he spends and spends...it is on me...and I can't do it. We BOTH have to participate, and be aware of the finances. Don't call me cheap when I don't want to go out to dinner because I am aware of the finances.

This is the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That staging a 6000 sf house and keeping it perfect nearly killed me as I had to do it all solo with three young kids while he was constantly traveling. I know he appreciates me but I don't think he appreciated the hours of backbreaking work it took to do this all on my own. I wish he appreciated it more.

This is sarcasm right?

NP here, why would this be sarcasm? Have you ever tried to keep a house in show condition with young children around? I had to do so with just one child and a 1,300 sq ft. townhouse. What PP describes sounds nightmarish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That we are $15,000 in credit debt and living paycheck to paycheck...but since he wants nothing to do with the finances and leaves me to figure things out...when he spends and spends...it is on me...and I can't do it. We BOTH have to participate, and be aware of the finances. Don't call me cheap when I don't want to go out to dinner because I am aware of the finances.

This is the worst.

This, 100% more than an affair is what would prompt me to divorce. Fall in someone else all you want, but don't you f*ck with my money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?

We never should have gotten married.

the rest I have said.

+1