Fourth Date Silence

[Anonymous]

many women learn not to be confrontational or direct--it sometimes has bad consequences, but most of the time we think we're not hurting feelings by being indirect; its too uncomfortable or difficult to let someone down.


It was empowering to me to figure out, in my late 20s/early 30s that it was perfectly OK and in fact good to be direct and that it was in fact more courteous to say "thanks, I had a good time but I am not interested in pursuing this further/don't think we're a match/etc." Most of the time, the men were appreciative that they didn't waste further effort/time. However, there were a few who refused to listen or wouldn't take no for an answer and demanded to know why and started do to the cross examination thing. I did not stand for that, but I could see how some women just prefer to avoid any discomfort altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:many women learn not to be confrontational or direct--it sometimes has bad consequences, but most of the time we think we're not hurting feelings by being indirect; its too uncomfortable or difficult to let someone down.


It was empowering to me to figure out, in my late 20s/early 30s that it was perfectly OK and in fact good to be direct and that it was in fact more courteous to say "thanks, I had a good time but I am not interested in pursuing this further/don't think we're a match/etc." Most of the time, the men were appreciative that they didn't waste further effort/time. However, there were a few who refused to listen or wouldn't take no for an answer and demanded to know why and started do to the cross examination thing. I did not stand for that, but I could see how some women just prefer to avoid any discomfort altogether.

I've had not a single man take "no" well after only a few dates. Most tell me off ("you won't find better, etc) which speaks volumes to their character.

[Anonymous]

pp 14:00, usually both people feel the same way. As a guy, why would I say something and sound like an idiot? You have to have self respect and how do I know the woman might not know someone I get involved with later?