Raising older teens is challenging

[Anonymous]

PP with son with eating disorder - it could be PANDAS or LYME. We were thinking our DS had an eating disorder along with other stuff - random, unconnected other symptoms. Turns out it was late stage Lyme. Now we are in the hell of uninsured treatment for multiple tick disease - whole other story - but so grateful we caught it now as it can kill over time. Leave no stone unturned with this. Do your research. www.parentsoflymekids.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous

This thread is scaring the $&!t out of me. Signed, mother of an adorably well-behaved 5 yo

How is this a helpful addition to the thread, PP?
Go MYOB.

PP with teen issues. This post didn't offend me at all. It's good for parents of younger kids to realize that having an easy, well-behaved 5-year-old does not mean you will have an easy, well-behaved 15-year-old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous

This thread is scaring the $&!t out of me. Signed, mother of an adorably well-behaved 5 yo

How is this a helpful addition to the thread, PP?
Go MYOB.

PP with teen issues. This post didn't offend me at all. It's good for parents of younger kids to realize that having an easy, well-behaved 5-year-old does not mean you will have an easy, well-behaved 15-year-old.

I agree!

It is never too early for parents to understand they should avoid being overly self-congratulatory on how well behaved their young children are. Unforeseen events that can turn that around are always lurking out there; a lot can happen that isn't in the parent manuals.

Heroin Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous

This thread is scaring the $&!t out of me. Signed, mother of an adorably well-behaved 5 yo

How is this a helpful addition to the thread, PP?
Go MYOB.

PP with teen issues. This post didn't offend me at all. It's good for parents of younger kids to realize that having an easy, well-behaved 5-year-old does not mean you will have an easy, well-behaved 15-year-old.

I agree!

It is never too early for parents to understand they should avoid being overly self-congratulatory on how well behaved their young children are. Unforeseen events that can turn that around are always lurking out there; a lot can happen that isn't in the parent manuals.

Heroin Mom

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with son with eating disorder - it could be PANDAS or LYME. We were thinking our DS had an eating disorder along with other stuff - random, unconnected other symptoms. Turns out it was late stage Lyme. Now we are in the hell of uninsured treatment for multiple tick disease - whole other story - but so grateful we caught it now as it can kill over time. Leave no stone unturned with this. Do your research. www.parentsoflymekids.com

sorry pp

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for sharing!

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for the honesty. DS 13 is a young teem, but is already becoming verbally abusive towards us, can't ever seem to pre-occupy himself aside from phone usage or purposely bothering family members, and has ZERO patience and explosive responses to doing anything other than what he wants to do. It scares me to think that this could get worse as he gets older, but I suppose it could also get better and so not worth freaking out to much, although I'm sure I still will. One of the posters advised about just walking away when DS starts his tirades and we've started doing that to some success. It is just so very hard to walk away when you want to explode back at the kid. So glad to feel that I'm not alone in this.

[Anonymous]

The best advice I've ever heard about dealing with teen blow-ups, back-talk, tirades, etc:

Q.T.I.P.

Quit Taking It Personally.

It really helps defuse situations when you can maintain your poise and detachment. So try not to take the abuse personally. Just imagine you are an anthropologist observing teens in their natural habitat. Wow, look at him blow. Very interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best advice I've ever heard about dealing with teen blow-ups, back-talk, tirades, etc:

Q.T.I.P.

Quit Taking It Personally.

It really helps defuse situations when you can maintain your poise and detachment. So try not to take the abuse personally. Just imagine you are an anthropologist observing teens in their natural habitat. Wow, look at him blow. Very interesting.

+1

I even keep QTips around as reminders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know if I would tell my husband if I found evidence that our daughter was having sex. This site gives me so much to think about.

I'm with you. Hmmm. Mine's only 10 so I have time to consider.

LOL, 35 years later and I am still grateful to my mom for NOT telling my father when she found out I was having sex at 16. Sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor.

[Anonymous]

It was so bad , I can't even remember it. It's been blocked out. I feel like didn't do anything but watch in horror. I had no control. I was too busy resurrecting my so called career. Wish I could have been home more during those days.

[Anonymous]

In the last 3 months have found out my DC :
Is bisexual
Has been cutting-so much so that she almost needed stitches and has scars/healing areas up and down all legs and arms. One cutting session for her is like 15 or more cuts
Last night told me she is agender and does not identify as one sex or another
Wants to be called by a gender neutral name and chop off her long hair.

We have her in therapy now but I feel like she is trying to kill everything she was. I am mourning the "death" of who I thought she was. I cannot even come to terms with this agender thing and honestly it is freaking me out.

She has adhd and is a young teen. I am terrified of what is to come. I fear she will get into drugs or worse. She comes from a stable family and I don't know what the $&@! happened and I cannot talk to anyone about it.

So I am sending love out to all of the other parents here. I feel your pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the last 3 months have found out my DC :
Is bisexual
Has been cutting-so much so that she almost needed stitches and has scars/healing areas up and down all legs and arms. One cutting session for her is like 15 or more cuts
Last night told me she is agender and does not identify as one sex or another
Wants to be called by a gender neutral name and chop off her long hair.

We have her in therapy now but I feel like she is trying to kill everything she was. I am mourning the "death" of who I thought she was. I cannot even come to terms with this agender thing and honestly it is freaking me out.

She has adhd and is a young teen. I am terrified of what is to come. I fear she will get into drugs or worse. She comes from a stable family and I don't know what the $&@! happened and I cannot talk to anyone about it.

So I am sending love out to all of the other parents here. I feel your pain.

This sounds so hard. Sending good thoughts your way.

[Anonymous]

It would be so nice if we could just get a 30 second glimpse of life 5 or 10 years ahead. People assure me that it will all work out ok, but I can't be sure of that. It doesn't always work out.

Thanks for all the refreshing honesty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be so nice if we could just get a 30 second glimpse of life 5 or 10 years ahead. People assure me that it will all work out ok, but I can't be sure of that. It doesn't always work out.

Thanks for all the refreshing honesty.

I know what you mean, but that only helps if the 30-second glimpse gives you good news. Think if you got that 30-second glimpse and saw that it *didn't* work out? My god, how would you go on?