Do I Tell My Husband's Mistress's Husband About the Affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow...what a sad story. I'm so confused why you having to change your entire being to copy/be like someone else is OK to you. What is even more confusing is your use of "lol" in the most awkward places, like after your line about watching your husband's sex tape. I really hope you are a troll. Otherwise, I would recommend therapy because your overly cheery attitude about your husband'so affair and your quest to morph into someone else for his sake is obviously a front.

I know I should go to therapy, but for what? My marriage is great now, our kids are happy. He made a terrible mistake, and he is very remorseful right now. I was in pain maybe a couple of months, but then I decided that all this drama will not affect me anymore, and start living like it never happened (after learning a lot from it). "Radical honesty" is our way of communicating. I detached myself emotionally and I developed a thicker skin. I make the rules, and I have the upper hand in our relationship. He knows I could leave him without any remorse, at any moment, and rebuild my life from scratch. He even said that it's ok if I have a "revenge affair", he just wants me to come back to him after I get what I want (I can't understand why - here I would need a therapist's opinion, maybe he wants me to lose my upper hand, lol). From a distance we seem to be the perfect couple. I don't know if between us there is true love or just co-dependency... but it doesn't matter anymore. Laughing at the whole drama helped me keep my sanity, I guess.

This is funny: the OW posted on FB on Valentine's Day that her husband is the only love of her life, and she will always love him and only him forever and ever. My husband was crushed (he didn't believe it at first). That's exactly what she told him over and over again for the entire length of their affair.

Oh, how sweet! Now you (or your DH) is also friends with the OW on facebook! What new age, super-evolved, open-minded people you are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband cheated on me, he had an eight months affair, the OW's husband contacted me on FB and told me about it. I asked my husband what is going on, and he confessed. The OW's husband had proof (pictures/selfies of them f@cking in a hotel, downloaded from her phone). This stopped the affair completely. I was numb for a couple of days, then in pain, but we immediately started working on rekindling our marriage (sex almost everyday, for hours, including oral and anal (things that I didn't do before), basically trying to surpass the OW in love making skills (I got to watch some of the videos they made in the hotel), and appearance (she was older, but looked amazing). She was one of his tennis partners, so I started to take lessons and play tennis regularly, as well ( before that I was more into reading books than playing sports).

Now, after almost two years, our marriage is very hot, my husband is much happier with our sex life (I put him and his needs ahead of the children basically, and give him sex on demand - both girlfriend and pornstar experience, quickies, fulfill his fantasies except threesomes and group sex). He thinks it's a good deal to trade the thrill and variety offered by a mistress with the kind of sex I offer him now (I gave him the option to choose between me and his mistress, and he refused to leave our marriage and our three kids). I am happy to do this, he is basically doing almost everything around the house too, including kids stuff, cooking, etc. I transformed myself into a sexy kitten, lol, got back in shape, colored my hair platinum blonde (she is a redhead) and now I am much hotter looking than her. Many guys, including my husband's friends, hit on me shamelessly - lol.

I am very grateful to the OW's husband, without him my marriage would be so dull now... The bad part is that I lost the respect and trust I had for my husband, but our marriage is better now - I feel much freer. He hates the fact that I could leave him at any time, cheat on him if I wish, and feel absolutely no guilt.

This takes a lot of work and sacrifice to do. Critics of this aren't the ones who are benefiting from the fruits of your marriage now that it is filled with passion and happiness. We can all take a lesson from this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow...what a sad story. I'm so confused why you having to change your entire being to copy/be like someone else is OK to you. What is even more confusing is your use of "lol" in the most awkward places, like after your line about watching your husband's sex tape. I really hope you are a troll. Otherwise, I would recommend therapy because your overly cheery attitude about your husband'so affair and your quest to morph into someone else for his sake is obviously a front.

I know I should go to therapy, but for what? My marriage is great now, our kids are happy. He made a terrible mistake, and he is very remorseful right now. I was in pain maybe a couple of months, but then I decided that all this drama will not affect me anymore, and start living like it never happened (after learning a lot from it). "Radical honesty" is our way of communicating. I detached myself emotionally and I developed a thicker skin. I make the rules, and I have the upper hand in our relationship. He knows I could leave him without any remorse, at any moment, and rebuild my life from scratch. He even said that it's ok if I have a "revenge affair", he just wants me to come back to him after I get what I want (I can't understand why - here I would need a therapist's opinion, maybe he wants me to lose my upper hand, lol). From a distance we seem to be the perfect couple. I don't know if between us there is true love or just co-dependency... but it doesn't matter anymore. Laughing at the whole drama helped me keep my sanity, I guess.

This is funny: the OW posted on FB on Valentine's Day that her husband is the only love of her life, and she will always love him and only him forever and ever. My husband was crushed (he didn't believe it at first). That's exactly what she told him over and over again for the entire length of their affair.

Oh, how sweet! Now you (or your DH) is also friends with the OW on facebook! What new age, super-evolved, open-minded people you are!

They were FB friends during the affair, but after that she blocked him. For some reason, at the beginning of this year she unblocked him, probably she missed him (?) (I keep an eye on all his internet accounts (the ones that are not hidden, lol), so I easily discovered this). This time I blocked her on his behalf. So mean of me, I know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband cheated on me, he had an eight months affair, the OW's husband contacted me on FB and told me about it. I asked my husband what is going on, and he confessed. The OW's husband had proof (pictures/selfies of them f@cking in a hotel, downloaded from her phone). This stopped the affair completely. I was numb for a couple of days, then in pain, but we immediately started working on rekindling our marriage (sex almost everyday, for hours, including oral and anal (things that I didn't do before), basically trying to surpass the OW in love making skills (I got to watch some of the videos they made in the hotel), and appearance (she was older, but looked amazing). She was one of his tennis partners, so I started to take lessons and play tennis regularly, as well ( before that I was more into reading books than playing sports).

Now, after almost two years, our marriage is very hot, my husband is much happier with our sex life (I put him and his needs ahead of the children basically, and give him sex on demand - both girlfriend and pornstar experience, quickies, fulfill his fantasies except threesomes and group sex). He thinks it's a good deal to trade the thrill and variety offered by a mistress with the kind of sex I offer him now (I gave him the option to choose between me and his mistress, and he refused to leave our marriage and our three kids). I am happy to do this, he is basically doing almost everything around the house too, including kids stuff, cooking, etc. I transformed myself into a sexy kitten, lol, got back in shape, colored my hair platinum blonde (she is a redhead) and now I am much hotter looking than her. Many guys, including my husband's friends, hit on me shamelessly - lol.

I am very grateful to the OW's husband, without him my marriage would be so dull now... The bad part is that I lost the respect and trust I had for my husband, but our marriage is better now - I feel much freer. He hates the fact that I could leave him at any time, cheat on him if I wish, and feel absolutely no guilt.

This takes a lot of work and sacrifice to do. Critics of this aren't the ones who are benefiting from the fruits of your marriage now that it is filled with passion and happiness. We can all take a lesson from this.

Being a respectable PTA mom wasn't my husband's idea of a sexy woman. It shocked me when he said that he was not sexually attracted to me anymore (I used to be one of the hottest girls in college), he couldn't get it up sometimes because I was fat (?), and he was fantasizing having quickies with younger, fitter women at parties ( and he is the stereotypical "nice guy"). I also think he suffered from that "madonna - whore complex" (google it). We started a very frank discussion about our needs. His top needs were my appearance (hot wife to show off), and his sexual satisfaction. I also realized that mistresses have all the fun, while the wives are busy with laundry and such. It was then when I asked him to treat me like a mistress (and put my "mother of his children" status somewhere in the back of his mind). Win-win.

[Anonymous]

One of the more interesting case studies in sock puppeting ever written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the more interesting case studies in sock puppeting ever written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband cheated on me, he had an eight months affair, the OW's husband contacted me on FB and told me about it. I asked my husband what is going on, and he confessed. The OW's husband had proof (pictures/selfies of them f@cking in a hotel, downloaded from her phone). This stopped the affair completely. I was numb for a couple of days, then in pain, but we immediately started working on rekindling our marriage (sex almost everyday, for hours, including oral and anal (things that I didn't do before), basically trying to surpass the OW in love making skills (I got to watch some of the videos they made in the hotel), and appearance (she was older, but looked amazing). She was one of his tennis partners, so I started to take lessons and play tennis regularly, as well ( before that I was more into reading books than playing sports).

Now, after almost two years, our marriage is very hot, my husband is much happier with our sex life (I put him and his needs ahead of the children basically, and give him sex on demand - both girlfriend and pornstar experience, quickies, fulfill his fantasies except threesomes and group sex). He thinks it's a good deal to trade the thrill and variety offered by a mistress with the kind of sex I offer him now (I gave him the option to choose between me and his mistress, and he refused to leave our marriage and our three kids). I am happy to do this, he is basically doing almost everything around the house too, including kids stuff, cooking, etc. I transformed myself into a sexy kitten, lol, got back in shape, colored my hair platinum blonde (she is a redhead) and now I am much hotter looking than her. Many guys, including my husband's friends, hit on me shamelessly - lol.

I am very grateful to the OW's husband, without him my marriage would be so dull now... The bad part is that I lost the respect and trust I had for my husband, but our marriage is better now - I feel much freer. He hates the fact that I could leave him at any time, cheat on him if I wish, and feel absolutely no guilt.

This takes a lot of work and sacrifice to do. Critics of this aren't the ones who are benefiting from the fruits of your marriage now that it is filled with passion and happiness. We can all take a lesson from this.

Being a respectable PTA mom wasn't my husband's idea of a sexy woman. It shocked me when he said that he was not sexually attracted to me anymore (I used to be one of the hottest girls in college), he couldn't get it up sometimes because I was fat (?), and he was fantasizing having quickies with younger, fitter women at parties ( and he is the stereotypical "nice guy"). I also think he suffered from that "madonna - whore complex" (google it). We started a very frank discussion about our needs. His top needs were my appearance (hot wife to show off), and his sexual satisfaction. I also realized that mistresses have all the fun, while the wives are busy with laundry and such. It was then when I asked him to treat me like a mistress (and put my "mother of his children" status somewhere in the back of his mind). Win-win.

Alright, troll. You have taken a few pages of OP's thread now. I think it's time to start your own thread and stop hijacking this one (google it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the more interesting case studies in sock puppeting ever written.

Second only to the Wolf...The most tragic and yet uplifting saga ever spilled across the threads of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the more interesting case studies in sock puppeting ever written.

Second only to the Wolf...The most tragic and yet uplifting saga ever spilled across the threads of DCUM.

Uh oh, the last thing I need is a new lengthy DCUM drama to uncover and read tons of pages of... is the Wolf worth searching the archives for? Should I take a few days off work or is there not THAT much to read about him/her?

Intrigued but afraid of the time suck...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the more interesting case studies in sock puppeting ever written.

Second only to the Wolf...The most tragic and yet uplifting saga ever spilled across the threads of DCUM.

Uh oh, the last thing I need is a new lengthy DCUM drama to uncover and read tons of pages of... is the Wolf worth searching the archives for? Should I take a few days off work or is there not THAT much to read about him/her?

Intrigued but afraid of the time suck...

There were 120 some PAGES. The thread started about the onset of opening his marriage up. Blossomed from there to include deception, sociopathic spouses, George Costanza, coffee, and a riding crop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband cheated on me, he had an eight months affair, the OW's husband contacted me on FB and told me about it. I asked my husband what is going on, and he confessed. The OW's husband had proof (pictures/selfies of them f@cking in a hotel, downloaded from her phone). This stopped the affair completely. I was numb for a couple of days, then in pain, but we immediately started working on rekindling our marriage (sex almost everyday, for hours, including oral and anal (things that I didn't do before), basically trying to surpass the OW in love making skills (I got to watch some of the videos they made in the hotel), and appearance (she was older, but looked amazing). She was one of his tennis partners, so I started to take lessons and play tennis regularly, as well ( before that I was more into reading books than playing sports).

Now, after almost two years, our marriage is very hot, my husband is much happier with our sex life (I put him and his needs ahead of the children basically, and give him sex on demand - both girlfriend and pornstar experience, quickies, fulfill his fantasies except threesomes and group sex). He thinks it's a good deal to trade the thrill and variety offered by a mistress with the kind of sex I offer him now (I gave him the option to choose between me and his mistress, and he refused to leave our marriage and our three kids). I am happy to do this, he is basically doing almost everything around the house too, including kids stuff, cooking, etc. I transformed myself into a sexy kitten, lol, got back in shape, colored my hair platinum blonde (she is a redhead) and now I am much hotter looking than her. Many guys, including my husband's friends, hit on me shamelessly - lol.

I am very grateful to the OW's husband, without him my marriage would be so dull now... The bad part is that I lost the respect and trust I had for my husband, but our marriage is better now - I feel much freer. He hates the fact that I could leave him at any time, cheat on him if I wish, and feel absolutely no guilt.

This takes a lot of work and sacrifice to do. Critics of this aren't the ones who are benefiting from the fruits of your marriage now that it is filled with passion and happiness. We can all take a lesson from this.

Being a respectable PTA mom wasn't my husband's idea of a sexy woman. It shocked me when he said that he was not sexually attracted to me anymore (I used to be one of the hottest girls in college), he couldn't get it up sometimes because I was fat (?), and he was fantasizing having quickies with younger, fitter women at parties ( and he is the stereotypical "nice guy"). I also think he suffered from that "madonna - whore complex" (google it). We started a very frank discussion about our needs. His top needs were my appearance (hot wife to show off), and his sexual satisfaction. I also realized that mistresses have all the fun, while the wives are busy with laundry and such. It was then when I asked him to treat me like a mistress (and put my "mother of his children" status somewhere in the back of his mind). Win-win.

Alright, troll. You have taken a few pages of OP's thread now. I think it's time to start your own thread and stop hijacking this one (google it).

ok, ok. I just wanted to answer the question and say that it's a good thing to tell your husband's mistress husband about the affair (and give my personal experience as an example).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the more interesting case studies in sock puppeting ever written.

Second only to the Wolf...The most tragic and yet uplifting saga ever spilled across the threads of DCUM.

Uh oh, the last thing I need is a new lengthy DCUM drama to uncover and read tons of pages of... is the Wolf worth searching the archives for? Should I take a few days off work or is there not THAT much to read about him/her?

Intrigued but afraid of the time suck...

There were 120 some PAGES. The thread started about the onset of opening his marriage up. Blossomed from there to include deception, sociopathic spouses, George Costanza, coffee, and a riding crop.

Maaaan... I was sure I wanted to skip it (120 PAGES???)... until you mentioned George Costanza and a riding crop. Crap, maybe I can take a week off work to read it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the more interesting case studies in sock puppeting ever written.

Second only to the Wolf...The most tragic and yet uplifting saga ever spilled across the threads of DCUM.

Uh oh, the last thing I need is a new lengthy DCUM drama to uncover and read tons of pages of... is the Wolf worth searching the archives for? Should I take a few days off work or is there not THAT much to read about him/her?

Intrigued but afraid of the time suck...

There were 120 some PAGES. The thread started about the onset of opening his marriage up. Blossomed from there to include deception, sociopathic spouses, George Costanza, coffee, and a riding crop.

Maaaan... I was sure I wanted to skip it (120 PAGES???)... until you mentioned George Costanza and a riding crop. Crap, maybe I can take a week off work to read it...

I knew that would be the buy line...none of us ever really knew if it was a brilliant troll or a sad man...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband cheated on me, he had an eight months affair, the OW's husband contacted me on FB and told me about it. I asked my husband what is going on, and he confessed. The OW's husband had proof (pictures/selfies of them f@cking in a hotel, downloaded from her phone). This stopped the affair completely. I was numb for a couple of days, then in pain, but we immediately started working on rekindling our marriage (sex almost everyday, for hours, including oral and anal (things that I didn't do before), basically trying to surpass the OW in love making skills (I got to watch some of the videos they made in the hotel), and appearance (she was older, but looked amazing). She was one of his tennis partners, so I started to take lessons and play tennis regularly, as well ( before that I was more into reading books than playing sports).

Now, after almost two years, our marriage is very hot, my husband is much happier with our sex life (I put him and his needs ahead of the children basically, and give him sex on demand - both girlfriend and pornstar experience, quickies, fulfill his fantasies except threesomes and group sex). He thinks it's a good deal to trade the thrill and variety offered by a mistress with the kind of sex I offer him now (I gave him the option to choose between me and his mistress, and he refused to leave our marriage and our three kids). I am happy to do this, he is basically doing almost everything around the house too, including kids stuff, cooking, etc. I transformed myself into a sexy kitten, lol, got back in shape, colored my hair platinum blonde (she is a redhead) and now I am much hotter looking than her. Many guys, including my husband's friends, hit on me shamelessly - lol.

I am very grateful to the OW's husband, without him my marriage would be so dull now... The bad part is that I lost the respect and trust I had for my husband, but our marriage is better now - I feel much freer. He hates the fact that I could leave him at any time, cheat on him if I wish, and feel absolutely no guilt.

This takes a lot of work and sacrifice to do. Critics of this aren't the ones who are benefiting from the fruits of your marriage now that it is filled with passion and happiness. We can all take a lesson from this.

Being a respectable PTA mom wasn't my husband's idea of a sexy woman. It shocked me when he said that he was not sexually attracted to me anymore (I used to be one of the hottest girls in college), he couldn't get it up sometimes because I was fat (?), and he was fantasizing having quickies with younger, fitter women at parties ( and he is the stereotypical "nice guy"). I also think he suffered from that "madonna - whore complex" (google it). We started a very frank discussion about our needs. His top needs were my appearance (hot wife to show off), and his sexual satisfaction. I also realized that mistresses have all the fun, while the wives are busy with laundry and such. It was then when I asked him to treat me like a mistress (and put my "mother of his children" status somewhere in the back of his mind). Win-win.

Alright, troll. You have taken a few pages of OP's thread now. I think it's time to start your own thread and stop hijacking this one (google it).

troll - supposedly means someone who is disruptive or mean on a message board, but now extends to anyone who is ever disagreeable or doesn't join in on the circle jerk. (Urban Dictionary). Interesting.

[Anonymous]

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