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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Do I Tell My Husband's Mistress's Husband About the Affair?
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
| Yes. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I would want to know. |
Anonymous
I know. It was a long process. And it was a short affair (not 3 years, which I think may be unforgivable). But the threats were my initial reaction, and then I cooled down and evaluated the entire situation and decided our family was better off together than split apart. And he did the hard work with me to put our life back together. |
Anonymous
| Hell to the yes I would tell him. They BOTH deserve to get caught. |
Anonymous
| TELL HIM!!!!!! I was accidentally the mistress of a married man (had no idea he was married) and when I found out I called his wife. She thanked me for telling her what kind of a man she was married to, and divorced him. We are now good friends and she often thanks me for changing her life, for the better. She says she deserved to know what kind of a marriage she was in and now she has moved on with someone so much better. Tell him please!! |
Anonymous
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OP here-
Thanks for the input. I know if I were him, I would want to know. He deserves to know. I'm going to wait a bit to get things going here before I rattle that cage. But it will be done. And, I already have an appointment to be checked for STDs, but considering it's been going on for three years now and I've had good exams (and a healthy pregnancy/birth) I'm assuming I'm in the clear. |
Anonymous
| I just want to reach out and give you a virtual hug OP. I cannot imagine the pain and rage I would feel upon learning that my DH had a 3 year relationship outside the marriage (and you had a baby while they were together!). I think you are incredibly brave and strong for leaving him and I wish you all the best. |
Anonymous
| Unless you are good friends with the Affair partner's husband, I would keep quiet. You have nothing to gain except revenge. You may be seen as part of tearing apart another family. Their business is theirs, work on putting your own life back together. Other than the fleeting moment of feeling "good" about sticking it to the other woman, you gain nothing by exposing. Take the high road. |
Anonymous
| Tell -- but see your lawyer and get your ducks in a row for divorce first. Not telling may given you some leverage you want. There are trade-offs. |
Anonymous
| I think 'the high road' is to tell him. |
Anonymous
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I would because if the situation were reversed, I would want to know. Private call, be courteous, stick to facts. Be prepared for anger or denial - don't take that personally. |
Anonymous
| Yep, you absolutely should let him know. She needs to feel the repercussions of what affairs do to marriages and families. Letting her off scott free is basically letting her get away with bad behavior. You not telling him, is not making their marriage any better. It's just perpetuating a lie, the same lie that you once believed. |
Anonymous
| I would want to know. |
Anonymous
| He has a right to know. I'd want to know. |