Some thoughts on daycare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who cares? My children were in othercare for 45 to 50 hours a week from the age of 3 months until they started kindergarten. So what? And we could have afforded to have one of us SAH but chose not to.

See, that's something that I could never do, and have a difficult time understanding. But yes, I know, it's not my job to understand it - just to respect that people make different choices, even if I don't understand or agree. So, I respect that you make a different choice than I would.

My mother was an unhappy SAHM. I am a highly educated woman (MBA and JD) who had her first at age 35. I was making about 55% of the household income. Hopefully, if your mother and your education were different from mine, you might understand how I feel differently. Thank you for respecting our choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've posted earlier. My opinion is that women should take a year or two off after baby's birth, at this critical time when baby really wants/needs mom, baby is (ideally) breastfeeding, etc. Then mom returns to work. I don't think that moms should not be part of the workforce - they should. But a break in those important few years after birth would benefit baby (and probably mom, too).
And yes, i am aware that our country doesn't make this easy for women, that it could be hard to re-enter the workforce, etc.

Obviously your kid(s) are still little. A more seasoned mom will tell you that if you are going to take a year or two off, it should be for 7th and 8th grade. Leaving my babies in daycare was a cake walk compared to not being home after school for junior high.

Let me add that because I've always WOH Ft, I can work at home anytime I want now that I have a middle schooler, with no loss of salary or position. Win win. One of the big problems is that moms of infants are often really short term thinkers and can't see the whole 18 or 20 year picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who cares? My children were in othercare for 45 to 50 hours a week from the age of 3 months until they started kindergarten. So what? And we could have afforded to have one of us SAH but chose not to.

See, that's something that I could never do, and have a difficult time understanding. But yes, I know, it's not my job to understand it - just to respect that people make different choices, even if I don't understand or agree. So, I respect that you make a different choice than I would.

My mother was an unhappy SAHM. I am a highly educated woman (MBA and JD) who had her first at age 35. I was making about 55% of the household income. Hopefully, if your mother and your education were different from mine, you might understand how I feel differently. Thank you for respecting our choice.

You're welcome. And thank you as well. I also have two advanced degrees (MS and PhD), had a nice career going, but put it on hold when DC was born. We all make different choices, but we do the best we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

I understand your point, but it is not that easy for any professional to come in and out of the workforce at will. If you leave your job for two years, you're unlikely to get it back at the same pay level, if at all. The work world just doesn't work that way.

That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

A six month old doesn't need much besides a loving, consistent, caring environment. They can get that in daycare.

And, finally, that was not your point. At all. Your point was that families that use daycare are not raising their children. You said it several times. Care to retract?

OK so why you all get so upset when your baby cries because they were taken from the daycare lady's arms? You all are scared they won't love you anymore, they won't know who mom is, etc...

I'm not retracting anything. My point is, women who drop their kids off in the morning and take them back home at dinner time are not raising their kids. It's a shame that such an advanced society in such a rich country doesn't value those first years of the child's life. Women should be encouraged to take a break to stay home with the child. That is my point and will always be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

I understand your point, but it is not that easy for any professional to come in and out of the workforce at will. If you leave your job for two years, you're unlikely to get it back at the same pay level, if at all. The work world just doesn't work that way.

That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it.

You are truly a vile human being, and I can see it now, your reaction is "what? Who? Me? I'm just sayin'" No, you're not. You're a total bitch with bad intentions and just an overall crappy person. I hope you enjoy hearing that as much as you think people enjoy hearing your bullshit about who's worthy of having children. I want to continue to call you every name in the book, but you're too stupid to see how vile you are so it won't matter. And yes, I stayed home with my daughter, so no, this isn't coming from a "guilt" thing that you'll probably try to throw back at me. You suck on EVERY level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

I understand your point, but it is not that easy for any professional to come in and out of the workforce at will. If you leave your job for two years, you're unlikely to get it back at the same pay level, if at all. The work world just doesn't work that way.

That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it.

why are you still talking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

So only those women who stay home with their children during the first year actually deserve to have children? Really?

[Anonymous]

Once again - anti-WOHM posters who think that if your child is in daycare that the daycare is raising them - what role does your husband play in raising your/his children? A simple question. According to your logic, he plays no role at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

So only those women who stay home with their children during the first year actually deserve to have children? Really?

Actually, those who think that their career is more important than their kids don't deserve to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

So only those women who stay home with their children during the first year actually deserve to have children? Really?

Because a woman's life is over when she has a child, didn't you know? Yet those same women who stay home are the ones pushing their daughters into fancy preschools, private schools, Ivies - so they can repeat the cycle of unused degrees? Hmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

So only those women who stay home with their children during the first year actually deserve to have children? Really?

Actually, those who think that their career is more important than their kids don't deserve to have kids.

THE MAN IS THE PLAN!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

A six month old doesn't need much besides a loving, consistent, caring environment. They can get that in daycare.

And, finally, that was not your point. At all. Your point was that families that use daycare are not raising their children. You said it several times. Care to retract?

OK so why you all get so upset when your baby cries because they were taken from the daycare lady's arms? You all are scared they won't love you anymore, they won't know who mom is, etc...

I'm not retracting anything. My point is, women who drop their kids off in the morning and take them back home at dinner time are not raising their kids. It's a shame that such an advanced society in such a rich country doesn't value those first years of the child's life. Women should be encouraged to take a break to stay home with the child. That is my point and will always be.

You do realize this is impossible for many women? Here on DCUM, yes, there are many women who CHOOSE not to take a break from their careers to stay home, and that choice should be equally respected, but your argument is rarefied at best. Most women with children MUST work. There is a roof to keep over one's head and food to put on the table. Until the old white men who run things in this country (yes, I'm talking about Congress) institute social change, your point is moot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

I understand your point, but it is not that easy for any professional to come in and out of the workforce at will. If you leave your job for two years, you're unlikely to get it back at the same pay level, if at all. The work world just doesn't work that way.

That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it.

You are truly a vile human being, and I can see it now, your reaction is "what? Who? Me? I'm just sayin'" No, you're not. You're a total bitch with bad intentions and just an overall crappy person. I hope you enjoy hearing that as much as you think people enjoy hearing your bullshit about who's worthy of having children. I want to continue to call you every name in the book, but you're too stupid to see how vile you are so it won't matter. And yes, I stayed home with my daughter, so no, this isn't coming from a "guilt" thing that you'll probably try to throw back at me. You suck on EVERY level.

No. The reason why your name calling doesn't affect me is because I know for sure that my approach is the best for my family and no anonymous person on a virtual world will make me feel shaky for my decisions in real life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

So only those women who stay home with their children during the first year actually deserve to have children? Really?

Actually, those who think that their career is more important than their kids don't deserve to have kids.

So how do you define whether a person - I am assuming you mean men as well as women - thinks their career is more important than their kids? Just by choosing to work full time?