Former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax - murder/suicide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really irritated by all the social media posts I'm seeing blaming the rape victims for this as though 1) they weren't actually telling the truth and 2) that somehow explains murder.

+1. The story goes that Justin Fairfax was so despondent over these “false allegations” that he “spiraled into mental illness” and then just had to kill the mother of his children. PUHLEESE. Murder suicide is not about mental illness, it’s about control. If I can’t have it, you can’t either.

Now that the 48 hours is up, let’s just say I had the ick on this guy and I feel vindicated. The way he made it absolutely clear that he felt entitled to the governorship after Northam’s blackface scandal came out as a matter of racial justice, all the while knowing he had multiple and more recent gender violence skeletons in his own closet, just struck me as so cynical and gross. This guy amplified Republican crap, lead the pile on, and went after an objectively decent man who was doing good for Virginians because it served his own ambitions.

Not to excuse what Northam did one bit, but the 80s in the South was a different time. The consensus on blackface being unequivocally bad is a relatively recent cultural development. He was caught flat footed and rightfully paid the price.

But we all knew rape and assault were bad in the 2000s.

Both men saw the end of their political careers, but Northam at least had a legacy of distinguished service to marginalized populations that he could fall back on. Fairfax apparently was a miserable, lying drunk whose own wife installed cameras in her home to protect herself.

It’s not like law firms shy away from aggressive lawyers with checkered pasts - people saw through this guy. All of his charm just hid the fact he was a narcissist who served no one it himself, and when people started to see that, he was cooked. Look at all the “friends” who wanted nothing to do with him after the scandal came out. Everyone suspected it was true.

All of this. He was a cowardly, rapey, murdering piece of sh*t. The mod of this site and other outlets are making up any and every excuse they can come up with because they too are tribal pieces of sh*t that will protect POC and Dems at all cost, even if that includes throwing women to their death.

[Anonymous]

For what it’s worth, as someone dealing with this same issue right now in the Fairfax court system (which is a joke) the judge who said he could stay in the house until 4/30 is widely known as having a pro-father approach - even more so than the rest of the judges. I looked up the judge as soon as this happened and was like wow, damn. I hope this is on his conscience and a huge wake up call. I wonder how many other potential Celina Fairfax’s are out there who he has screwed over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read the entire thread--a lot of it, but not all--so my apologies if someone else already said this.

She is a dentist. That means she works in a place that has to be publicly known in order for her to get patients. IOW, it's not a job in which she can work from home or a domestic violence shelter. Even if she only saw existing patients who were willing to come to her, she's not going to have the equipment she needs to treat them.

In that case, an order of protection or just moving out is of limited use. She can move out of their shared home, but he knows exactly where she's going to be most of the day most days. An order of protection isn't going to stop a man angry enough to murder her sitting in the parking lot waiting for her to go into or come out of the building or, worse, storming into her office and shooting her in front of her co-workers. There are a gazillion women with protection orders who moved out of a shared abode and were killed at work or en route to/from work by enraged ex boyfriends and husbands.

Plus, they have kids. Even if she took them with her, he knows where they go to school and she might worry that he will pressure them to tell him where she is if she does stay out of work. Shooting your kids to punish a wife you're angry with isn't rare.

So, I wish those of you who are blaming her for not leaving and saying that was an easy solution would stop.

I disagree that people should stop saying that there was a choice for her to leave. The more we spread out this idea to the women, the more women will understand that in DV cases they can (and should) leave. Saying that this is not the option for the victim will create more victims in a future.

What we need to do is change the laws so that when women want to leave, they can take their children and not have to leave them with the abuser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people just have no idea. Former DV survivor here who lost in custody court this month because “he’s still a good father.” Um no. He’s actually really not.

That doesn’t mean you have to stay in the same house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could there be processes that get guns temporarily confiscated during family law proceedings if there has been red flag behaviors like alcoholism and fights? Just getting rid of the easy access might help in situations like this.

Virginia has red flag laws. But someone has to feel comfortable making the report without fear of retaliation. The person responsible for half your kids' tuition and the mortgage - you comfortable reporting on them?

She was a dentist, FFS. Of course she could afford to walk away, rent a small apartment, either cover kids' tuition by herself or put them into public school for a period of divorce. This is really bothers me - according to the article, she knew he purchased the gun in 2022. She knew for at least several months he was heavy drinker. She knew that he does not value human lives. Why was she staying in the same house with him?

She can't force him to leave their jointly owned house. She eventually had to get a court order to force him to leave the house, and he literally murdered her days later.

My guess why she didn't leave -- he has no money. He makes little and spends everything. He would have let the house go into foreclosure and would have been homeless. It's an incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation.

And while she likely makes good money as a dentist, it sure sounds like he put their family in dire straits financially. She entered into a post-nuptial agreement whereby they separated finances so that she could protect herself, and he didn't hold up any of his end of the bargain, which is why she initiated divorce and separation. I'd guess they drained everything on legal fees and he accumulated massive debts in both of their names.

Try to be less of an a**hole.

People leave their spouses every single day. She could have moved out with an emergency custody order. I know people who got their spouse booted from the house and supervised visitation based on much, much less. I’m not saying this to criticize her but to correct the impression that people are stuck in the marital house with their abuser.

Not true

Just stop. I know you believe you are being some kind of advocate but you are actually advocating that women stay with their abusers. everyone in this situation needs to make a plan with a lawyer and DV advocates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could there be processes that get guns temporarily confiscated during family law proceedings if there has been red flag behaviors like alcoholism and fights? Just getting rid of the easy access might help in situations like this.

Virginia has red flag laws. But someone has to feel comfortable making the report without fear of retaliation. The person responsible for half your kids' tuition and the mortgage - you comfortable reporting on them?

She was a dentist, FFS. Of course she could afford to walk away, rent a small apartment, either cover kids' tuition by herself or put them into public school for a period of divorce. This is really bothers me - according to the article, she knew he purchased the gun in 2022. She knew for at least several months he was heavy drinker. She knew that he does not value human lives. Why was she staying in the same house with him?

She can't force him to leave their jointly owned house. She eventually had to get a court order to force him to leave the house, and he literally murdered her days later.

My guess why she didn't leave -- he has no money. He makes little and spends everything. He would have let the house go into foreclosure and would have been homeless. It's an incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation.

And while she likely makes good money as a dentist, it sure sounds like he put their family in dire straits financially. She entered into a post-nuptial agreement whereby they separated finances so that she could protect herself, and he didn't hold up any of his end of the bargain, which is why she initiated divorce and separation. I'd guess they drained everything on legal fees and he accumulated massive debts in both of their names.

Try to be less of an a**hole.

People leave their spouses every single day. She could have moved out with an emergency custody order. I know people who got their spouse booted from the house and supervised visitation based on much, much less. I’m not saying this to criticize her but to correct the impression that people are stuck in the marital house with their abuser.

He was planning to kill her since 2022. She was getting shot one way or another. Unless she truly skipped town to a hiding place he couldn’t find or afford to get to.

Then that is what she needed to do. I’m not saying that this would have protected her but I am absolutely appalled at people suggesting women have no recourse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it’s worth, as someone dealing with this same issue right now in the Fairfax court system (which is a joke) the judge who said he could stay in the house until 4/30 is widely known as having a pro-father approach - even more so than the rest of the judges. I looked up the judge as soon as this happened and was like wow, damn. I hope this is on his conscience and a huge wake up call. I wonder how many other potential Celina Fairfax’s are out there who he has screwed over.

The judge didn’t force her to stay in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people just have no idea. Former DV survivor here who lost in custody court this month because “he’s still a good father.” Um no. He’s actually really not.

+1

NP. I can’t even read this thread without a little PTSD. Family member in CA abused by SAH violent loser husband, there was literal photographic evidence, went to multiple lawyers and was told that he would get significant custody and she’d have to pay huge amounts of money to him, and to stay in the house with kids. She stayed to protect her kids. The way the family law system protects abusers especially when they aren’t the primary earner is truly shocking.

You people posting here have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people just have no idea. Former DV survivor here who lost in custody court this month because “he’s still a good father.” Um no. He’s actually really not.

That doesn’t mean you have to stay in the same house.

If you want to protect your kids, you have to stay in the same house. Sure the PP could leave. And then her kids would be with an abusive violent man, alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what it’s worth, as someone dealing with this same issue right now in the Fairfax court system (which is a joke) the judge who said he could stay in the house until 4/30 is widely known as having a pro-father approach - even more so than the rest of the judges. I looked up the judge as soon as this happened and was like wow, damn. I hope this is on his conscience and a huge wake up call. I wonder how many other potential Celina Fairfax’s are out there who he has screwed over.

The judge didn’t force her to stay in the house.

Ah, yes, she should have left her children alone with the man she knew to be abusive and she probably knew was going to kill her. That’s a fabulous idea. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could there be processes that get guns temporarily confiscated during family law proceedings if there has been red flag behaviors like alcoholism and fights? Just getting rid of the easy access might help in situations like this.

Virginia has red flag laws. But someone has to feel comfortable making the report without fear of retaliation. The person responsible for half your kids' tuition and the mortgage - you comfortable reporting on them?

She was a dentist, FFS. Of course she could afford to walk away, rent a small apartment, either cover kids' tuition by herself or put them into public school for a period of divorce. This is really bothers me - according to the article, she knew he purchased the gun in 2022. She knew for at least several months he was heavy drinker. She knew that he does not value human lives. Why was she staying in the same house with him?

She can't force him to leave their jointly owned house. She eventually had to get a court order to force him to leave the house, and he literally murdered her days later.

My guess why she didn't leave -- he has no money. He makes little and spends everything. He would have let the house go into foreclosure and would have been homeless. It's an incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation.

And while she likely makes good money as a dentist, it sure sounds like he put their family in dire straits financially. She entered into a post-nuptial agreement whereby they separated finances so that she could protect herself, and he didn't hold up any of his end of the bargain, which is why she initiated divorce and separation. I'd guess they drained everything on legal fees and he accumulated massive debts in both of their names.

Try to be less of an a**hole.

People leave their spouses every single day. She could have moved out with an emergency custody order. I know people who got their spouse booted from the house and supervised visitation based on much, much less. I’m not saying this to criticize her but to correct the impression that people are stuck in the marital house with their abuser.

He was planning to kill her since 2022. She was getting shot one way or another. Unless she truly skipped town to a hiding place he couldn’t find or afford to get to.

Then that is what she needed to do. I’m not saying that this would have protected her but I am absolutely appalled at people suggesting women have no recourse.

If she skipped town, she would be an unfit mother. Being a drunk isn't disqualifying anymore. It's a celebrated disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could there be processes that get guns temporarily confiscated during family law proceedings if there has been red flag behaviors like alcoholism and fights? Just getting rid of the easy access might help in situations like this.

Virginia has red flag laws. But someone has to feel comfortable making the report without fear of retaliation. The person responsible for half your kids' tuition and the mortgage - you comfortable reporting on them?

She was a dentist, FFS. Of course she could afford to walk away, rent a small apartment, either cover kids' tuition by herself or put them into public school for a period of divorce. This is really bothers me - according to the article, she knew he purchased the gun in 2022. She knew for at least several months he was heavy drinker. She knew that he does not value human lives. Why was she staying in the same house with him?

She can't force him to leave their jointly owned house. She eventually had to get a court order to force him to leave the house, and he literally murdered her days later.

My guess why she didn't leave -- he has no money. He makes little and spends everything. He would have let the house go into foreclosure and would have been homeless. It's an incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation.

And while she likely makes good money as a dentist, it sure sounds like he put their family in dire straits financially. She entered into a post-nuptial agreement whereby they separated finances so that she could protect herself, and he didn't hold up any of his end of the bargain, which is why she initiated divorce and separation. I'd guess they drained everything on legal fees and he accumulated massive debts in both of their names.

Try to be less of an a**hole.

People leave their spouses every single day. She could have moved out with an emergency custody order. I know people who got their spouse booted from the house and supervised visitation based on much, much less. I’m not saying this to criticize her but to correct the impression that people are stuck in the marital house with their abuser.

He was planning to kill her since 2022. She was getting shot one way or another. Unless she truly skipped town to a hiding place he couldn’t find or afford to get to.

Then that is what she needed to do. I’m not saying that this would have protected her but I am absolutely appalled at people suggesting women have no recourse.

My sweet summer child, they often don’t have any recourse. Please face reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it’s worth, as someone dealing with this same issue right now in the Fairfax court system (which is a joke) the judge who said he could stay in the house until 4/30 is widely known as having a pro-father approach - even more so than the rest of the judges. I looked up the judge as soon as this happened and was like wow, damn. I hope this is on his conscience and a huge wake up call. I wonder how many other potential Celina Fairfax’s are out there who he has screwed over.

Who was the judge that allowed him to stay in the house? They should resign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could there be processes that get guns temporarily confiscated during family law proceedings if there has been red flag behaviors like alcoholism and fights? Just getting rid of the easy access might help in situations like this.

Virginia has red flag laws. But someone has to feel comfortable making the report without fear of retaliation. The person responsible for half your kids' tuition and the mortgage - you comfortable reporting on them?

She was a dentist, FFS. Of course she could afford to walk away, rent a small apartment, either cover kids' tuition by herself or put them into public school for a period of divorce. This is really bothers me - according to the article, she knew he purchased the gun in 2022. She knew for at least several months he was heavy drinker. She knew that he does not value human lives. Why was she staying in the same house with him?

She can't force him to leave their jointly owned house. She eventually had to get a court order to force him to leave the house, and he literally murdered her days later.

My guess why she didn't leave -- he has no money. He makes little and spends everything. He would have let the house go into foreclosure and would have been homeless. It's an incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation.

And while she likely makes good money as a dentist, it sure sounds like he put their family in dire straits financially. She entered into a post-nuptial agreement whereby they separated finances so that she could protect herself, and he didn't hold up any of his end of the bargain, which is why she initiated divorce and separation. I'd guess they drained everything on legal fees and he accumulated massive debts in both of their names.

Try to be less of an a**hole.

People leave their spouses every single day. She could have moved out with an emergency custody order. I know people who got their spouse booted from the house and supervised visitation based on much, much less. I’m not saying this to criticize her but to correct the impression that people are stuck in the marital house with their abuser.

He was planning to kill her since 2022. She was getting shot one way or another. Unless she truly skipped town to a hiding place he couldn’t find or afford to get to.

I think he was planning on killing himself when he fled to that park.

[Anonymous]

If you are outraged at this but also voted for the current Attorney General after what he threatened it might be time for some self reflection.