Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

So we should all give up are low mortgage rates and buy homes closer in (since there is an abundance of homes on the market and it the COL in DC is so reasonable). Plus uproot our kids from their schools, activities and friends. What a short sighted comment

You made a decision that fit your situation at that time. But it wasn't smart to not plan for a change in situation. The situation has changed so yes you have to pivot. A low mortgage rate on a house located inconveniently isn't a positive thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

+1
I agree with you. WFH was never going to be forever. Wasn't it only supposed to be until the lockdowns ended? It was a real nice ride while it lasted and never going to last forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rode an hour long plus vanpool when I first started in the gov't. There was no telework. You had to figure it out.

Now I see people hopping off the computer and going to school pickup and then resuming work with their young kids in the house and thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with it. Kids are allowed to be present in the home while teleworking. My kid being at home doesn't mean I'm not working.

"While the presence of dependents in the household should not be an absolute bar to teleworking, employees should not be engaging in dependent care activities when performing official duties. While an occasional, brief interruption may occur when a dependent is present in the home, teleworkers must be careful to keep interruptions to a minimum to avoid disruptions in work accomplishment."

https://www.opm.gov/telework/tmo-and-coordinators/dependent-care/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rode an hour long plus vanpool when I first started in the gov't. There was no telework. You had to figure it out.

Now I see people hopping off the computer and going to school pickup and then resuming work with their young kids in the house and thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with it. Kids are allowed to be present in the home while teleworking. My kid being at home doesn't mean I'm not working.

"While the presence of dependents in the household should not be an absolute bar to teleworking, employees should not be engaging in dependent care activities when performing official duties. While an occasional, brief interruption may occur when a dependent is present in the home, teleworkers must be careful to keep interruptions to a minimum to avoid disruptions in work accomplishment."

https://www.opm.gov/telework/tmo-and-coordinators/dependent-care/

And parents of young kids know better than anybody that this arrangement does no favors for your productivity, your coworkers or your employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rode an hour long plus vanpool when I first started in the gov't. There was no telework. You had to figure it out.

Now I see people hopping off the computer and going to school pickup and then resuming work with their young kids in the house and thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with it. Kids are allowed to be present in the home while teleworking. My kid being at home doesn't mean I'm not working.

"While the presence of dependents in the household should not be an absolute bar to teleworking, employees should not be engaging in dependent care activities when performing official duties. While an occasional, brief interruption may occur when a dependent is present in the home, teleworkers must be careful to keep interruptions to a minimum to avoid disruptions in work accomplishment."

https://www.opm.gov/telework/tmo-and-coordinators/dependent-care/

And to add, dependent care for a 6 month old is very different from a 10 year old. A 6 month old would require a lot of care all day, which obviously someone needs daycare. But a 10 year old would be at school all day and should be able to figure something out for a little bit once they got home that doesn't involve bugging mom. But now with mom's added commute, the 10 year old can't be at home completely alone for 2 hours. My point though in posting is that a 10 year old being picked up from the bus stop is completely allowable in my interpretation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

+1
I agree with you. WFH was never going to be forever. Wasn't it only supposed to be until the lockdowns ended? It was a real nice ride while it lasted and never going to last forever.

Fed telework started years before covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are people living that have 2 hour commutes each way? When my kids were in school, we lived near Olney and I left home at 6:15. Dropped off kids at morning care in Bethesda around 7, in office by 7:30-7:45. Left work at 4:30 and picked up at 5:15 or so. Sports practices were generally around 5:30pm or so because the coaches were working parents with in-office jobs. I did that schedule 5 days a week for years.

Frederick. No, I don't have a McMansion. We live here to be down the street from my spouse's job, after a few years of living closer to mine. I got tired of commuting and searched for a fully remote job a couple years ago, joke's on me.

Gosh, I do feel for you to have to hike in from Frederick. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, but DH would have had a reverse commute.

Sure, hindsight is 20/20. There was NO REASON in 2019 to think that hybrid work, telework on days with medical appts, etc would totally vanish from jobs that allowed it.

Anyway, we looked into that option when we moved. Given our salaries, the closest we could get was an hour commute for me by metro, and 45 min to an hour commute for DH by car. We decided it would be better to have one parent very close by, and that it should be the parent whose job we could afford to live very close to, who had to be in person every day. Again, it made sense given the policies in effect, CBAs, and trends over the last decade.

"Hindsight is 20/20" actually does mean that you have different information to make decisions with afterward.

45 mins by car is actually pretty decent in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rode an hour long plus vanpool when I first started in the gov't. There was no telework. You had to figure it out.

Now I see people hopping off the computer and going to school pickup and then resuming work with their young kids in the house and thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with it. Kids are allowed to be present in the home while teleworking. My kid being at home doesn't mean I'm not working.

"While the presence of dependents in the household should not be an absolute bar to teleworking, employees should not be engaging in dependent care activities when performing official duties. While an occasional, brief interruption may occur when a dependent is present in the home, teleworkers must be careful to keep interruptions to a minimum to avoid disruptions in work accomplishment."

https://www.opm.gov/telework/tmo-and-coordinators/dependent-care/

And to add, dependent care for a 6 month old is very different from a 10 year old. A 6 month old would require a lot of care all day, which obviously someone needs daycare. But a 10 year old would be at school all day and should be able to figure something out for a little bit once they got home that doesn't involve bugging mom. But now with mom's added commute, the 10 year old can't be at home completely alone for 2 hours. My point though in posting is that a 10 year old being picked up from the bus stop is completely allowable in my interpretation.

I feel like we are re-entering a latch key kid era. I was one. I think I was 8 when I first started to be alone for a few hours before my parents got home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

+1
I agree with you. WFH was never going to be forever. Wasn't it only supposed to be until the lockdowns ended? It was a real nice ride while it lasted and never going to last forever.

Fed telework started years before covid.

It became slightly more common after Covid, didn’t it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

+1
I agree with you. WFH was never going to be forever. Wasn't it only supposed to be until the lockdowns ended? It was a real nice ride while it lasted and never going to last forever.

Fed telework started years before covid.

It became slightly more common after Covid, didn’t it?

USPTO has had fully remote work for a large percentage of the workforce for 20 years, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rode an hour long plus vanpool when I first started in the gov't. There was no telework. You had to figure it out.

Now I see people hopping off the computer and going to school pickup and then resuming work with their young kids in the house and thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with it. Kids are allowed to be present in the home while teleworking. My kid being at home doesn't mean I'm not working.

"While the presence of dependents in the household should not be an absolute bar to teleworking, employees should not be engaging in dependent care activities when performing official duties. While an occasional, brief interruption may occur when a dependent is present in the home, teleworkers must be careful to keep interruptions to a minimum to avoid disruptions in work accomplishment."

https://www.opm.gov/telework/tmo-and-coordinators/dependent-care/

And to add, dependent care for a 6 month old is very different from a 10 year old. A 6 month old would require a lot of care all day, which obviously someone needs daycare. But a 10 year old would be at school all day and should be able to figure something out for a little bit once they got home that doesn't involve bugging mom. But now with mom's added commute, the 10 year old can't be at home completely alone for 2 hours. My point though in posting is that a 10 year old being picked up from the bus stop is completely allowable in my interpretation.

I feel like we are re-entering a latch key kid era. I was one. I think I was 8 when I first started to be alone for a few hours before my parents got home.

That's fine with me as long as some busy body doesn't call CPS on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

+1
I agree with you. WFH was never going to be forever. Wasn't it only supposed to be until the lockdowns ended? It was a real nice ride while it lasted and never going to last forever.

Fed telework started years before covid.

It became slightly more common after Covid, didn’t it?

The point is that trends were leaning toward more telework, not less. Even if covid accelerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

+1
I agree with you. WFH was never going to be forever. Wasn't it only supposed to be until the lockdowns ended? It was a real nice ride while it lasted and never going to last forever.

Fed telework started years before covid.

Full time? I thought it was 3 days a week max.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

+1
I agree with you. WFH was never going to be forever. Wasn't it only supposed to be until the lockdowns ended? It was a real nice ride while it lasted and never going to last forever.

Fed telework started years before covid.

Full time? I thought it was 3 days a week max.

We had 4 days a week since 2017 and 3 days since probably 2012.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rode an hour long plus vanpool when I first started in the gov't. There was no telework. You had to figure it out.

Now I see people hopping off the computer and going to school pickup and then resuming work with their young kids in the house and thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with it. Kids are allowed to be present in the home while teleworking. My kid being at home doesn't mean I'm not working.

"While the presence of dependents in the household should not be an absolute bar to teleworking, employees should not be engaging in dependent care activities when performing official duties. While an occasional, brief interruption may occur when a dependent is present in the home, teleworkers must be careful to keep interruptions to a minimum to avoid disruptions in work accomplishment."

https://www.opm.gov/telework/tmo-and-coordinators/dependent-care/

it is wrong moron, you can't care for children and work at the same time hire someone! You will need to follow the laws of your state

Telework and Dependent Care
While telework is not a substitute for dependent care, it can be a very valuable flexibility to employees with caregiving responsibilities, by eliminating time required to commute and expanding employees’ choices as to dependent care. Agencies and managers should recognize that employees use a variety of dependent care options, including agency on-site child care centers to ensure close proximity to young children as well as home-based supervision or child care arrangements (e.g., nanny, in-home babysitting by a family member or friend), which may be more cost effective or convenient. For teleworkers with in-home dependent care arrangements, it is important to remember that telework is official work time and a tool for accomplishing work. Employees are reminded that while teleworking, all workplace policies remain in place, including telework start/end times, rules regarding time and attendance, and employee expectations concerning performance and conduct.


Ages 8 and under: Children should always be under the care of a responsible person and should not be left unsupervised in homes, cars, playgrounds, or yards.

Ages 9 to 10: May be ready to be left unsupervised for up to 1.5 hours during daylight and early evening hours.

Ages 11 to 12: May be ready to be left unsupervised for up to 3 hours during daylight and early evening hours.

Ages 13 to 15: May be ready to be left unsupervised for more than 3 hours but not overnight.

Ages 16 and older: May be ready to be left unsupervised overnight for 1 to 2 days, with a plan in place.