This! |
Op, quit playing divorce chicken with him by challenging him to make the move to divorce. Why give him that power? He's lazy and has no interest in truly being on his own. You're going to have to drive this train. File and tell him he must leave. |
It sounds like he has met someone else.
If not - perhaps a midlife crisis. Whatever the reason there is no excuse for him to shirk away his responsibilities >> especially as a Father. Perhaps counseling would help things but you may be forced to issue him an ultimatum at this point. So sorry things are this way now. 💔 |
Is there an update, OP? |
Since your top priority seems to be getting your husband to recommit to his fatherly duties, there's an extreme option you could consider. First, find out if he's having an affair and with whom. If he is indeed having one, try to get the AP to dump him. Perhaps hire a PI to get incriminating photos of the two of them together. If she has a partner, anonymously send him the photos. If she's a coworker of his, anonymously contact her boss or coworkers about the affair. She might end things if she thinks someone is onto her trail and she has a lot to lose. |
All of this. Often they can only put up the facade for so long or by midlife their wants change. Ive seen women go through this too. Stay at home moms just up and leave their family. There are so many ways to get burner phones, hide apps etc. The amount of affair apps is austounding. Mine was a closeted gay and had no less than 10 hidden gay dating apps on his many phones. After one reveal and some understanding what was going it shouldbe enough to tell you. I wish I had realized that the separate bedroom thing was because he wanted time to have online sex talks and searches. He told me he was trying to help me because he snored. Oh well. At least I got some sleep and financial help those 2 years. It's over now and he's still checked out of the family. It had nothing to do with me. Honestly if I had just known and accepted how it was, it would have been ok just having him at the house, driving kids, and contributing money while being checked out of the family. It was the devaluing at home and the fake behavior among friends and family and my kids that I couldn't deal with but now that I know its common, I would have used him like he used me for longer. He also was hiding money. Be careful of your bank accounts. |
Because the affair partner is not interested in the kids and this person trumps everyone and because it's hard to separate the kids from you. So they lump the kids in with you and don't know how to see then as separate. After watching Chris Watts murder his family for an affair, I would never try to tie down a man who wants to have an affair. Too dangerous for me and the kids. |
Intervention. Get yours and his parents, clergy, siblings or close friends involved. |
What happened Op? Update? |
+1 |
No. |
Did you even read the question I was responding to? Because it seems like you didn’t, in your rush to jump on your high horse. Oh, and you know what’s VERY rare as a symptom of depression severe enough to make a person move into the basement, sleep alone and do a complete personality 180? Starting to work out every day when they didn’t before. Very, very rare. |
😩 |
This will not help, it’s not as simple as getting him to go to an in patient rehab. |
How are things going, OP? |