Husband is furious at me for telling his mother to stop talking down to me at dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on OP’s side. MIL overreacted and got what she deserves. Checking a phone at the table is fine.

No, using your phone at the table or during meals is absolutely poor manners.

According to...who?? Who makes these rules?! Y'all are clowns for making ish up as you go along. Is this from the Miss Manners 2024 Edition? Please get a life and free yourself from living up to some odd standard that the majority doesn't even care about.

These are common standards of behavior in a civil society that you must have missed while being raised in the barn.

Please explain how unhinged rants to your DIL belong in civil society?

Read the thread. PP couldn’t believe that it is not OK to bring your phone to the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

My husband came home at 5 am. I know where he was; we were both invited to go to his friend's house for NYE but he had decided that we instead spend the night at his parents house as his mother was lonely and it would be nice to give her company. So we were at MIL's house for NYE. Once we were in the car and driving home, he was texting his friend to ask if he can come over as his plans changed. By the time we arrived home my husband, as usual, pinned everything on me and blamed me for "ruining our evening." He took his guitar and basically ran out to go to his friend's house alone as he "did not want to be around" me.

He came home at 5 am drunk and passed out.

The next day he came by to make up but still asserted that I was in the wrong and told me that I am so selfish and I never look at anyone else's perspective. He said his mother is older and it was so disrespectful of me yell at her. He was gaslighting me as I never yelled at her and merely calmly told her to not speak to me in a condescending tone and give me a dressing down over a cellphone.

MIL is apparently very upset and is accusing me of being so rude to her after everything she has done to me. She says she would die if she heard her children speak to their in laws the way I did to her. And that she is still mad at me and will not speak to me.

I want to roll my eyes. ALL this hysterics because I glanced at my cellphone???

They're all mad!!

He took his guitar!!

The details keep getting loonier, troll OP!

[Anonymous]

The best one in this story is dh. He stood up for his wife and then privately told her how wrong she was.

-you’re 37! You know basic manners say you don’t check your phone at a dinner.

-you should have laughed it off and agreed with her. “Ugh yes I know. Thanks for reminding me I shouldn’t be on my phone. Ha. Guess I know what my New Year’s resolution should be!”

- she was a rude host for pointing it out

[Anonymous]

The phone thing doesn’t seem that rude to me especially because if OP is European her family was probably all celebrating the new year right at EST dinner time.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine scolding my adult son's 37 year old wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The phone thing doesn’t seem that rude to me especially because if OP is European her family was probably all celebrating the new year right at EST dinner time.

Hit submit too soon—I meant to add that the crazy thing is that OP and her husband seem to just totally hate each other. That’s the real story, not the silly MIL thing.

[Anonymous]

There was an article in the WSJ the other day about an entire generation not growing up. I feel like this whole post belongs there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The phone thing doesn’t seem that rude to me especially because if OP is European her family was probably all celebrating the new year right at EST dinner time.

Hit submit too soon—I meant to add that the crazy thing is that OP and her husband seem to just totally hate each other. That’s the real story, not the silly MIL thing.

He was probably trying to woo new women with the guitar at the party. I'm sure OP will follow up next how she found some panties in the wash that weren't hers just to keep this going. Could they be from the party? She's scared to ask, the heart palpitations and cold sweat might come back, she will feel dizzy, but she must know. Stay tuned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The phone thing doesn’t seem that rude to me especially because if OP is European her family was probably all celebrating the new year right at EST dinner time.

Hit submit too soon—I meant to add that the crazy thing is that OP and her husband seem to just totally hate each other. That’s the real story, not the silly MIL thing.

He was probably trying to woo new women with the guitar at the party. I'm sure OP will follow up next how she found some panties in the wash that weren't hers just to keep this going. Could they be from the party? She's scared to ask, the heart palpitations and cold sweat might come back, she will feel dizzy, but she must know. Stay tuned.

I love this. I can’t believe people haven’t figured out that this is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Damn, OP 37 and can't get through a dinner without looking at her phone? I really hope this is a troll.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't have been checking your phone at the dinner table. When confronted you should have said, "sorry I was checking my family group chat, but I will put my phone away."

She spoke to you like you were a child because you were acting like one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't have been checking your phone at the dinner table. When confronted you should have said, "sorry I was checking my family group chat, but I will put my phone away."

She spoke to you like you were a child because you were acting like one.

And MIL found out what happens when you insult someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine scolding my adult son's 37 year old wife.

EVER!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is good. Phone using at dinner, immigrant, and MIL & husband issues do get people riled up.

It's pretty amazing for someone who just a few months ago was posting about being a single woman. The tell is always multiple detailed paragraphs. OP gave herself away when she confused meat with broccoli.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/weblog/2025/01/02/update010225

How do you respond to Jeff outing you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I do not believe taking a quick glance at your phone during a major holiday while having dinner in your in laws kitchen merits the pointed dressing down my mother in law gave me. It is incredibly rude and disrespectful. A normal person would have ignored it especially as I was NOT sitting there with my face in my phone the entire time. As she was focusing on berating her husband for being unable to cut his meat, I took a look at my family group chat. That was all.

I felt embarrassed at how she talked down to me. I could tell she was in a mood and wanted to pick on me. She has a habit of routinely picking on her kids or me when she is in a mood. I do not like to be disrespected and told her so, calmly and politely. She decided to escalate, compounded by my husband.

I do not appreciate that both she and my husband are intend on bullying me for "upsetting" her when she started it to begin with! I do not appreciate my husband making ME the problem instead of telling his mom to back off!

OP I am on your side. This sounds abusive. Stand your ground and/or get out. Being humiliated by both your MIL and husband is NOT worth it.