What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is a weirdo about having garbage in the garbage can. She will take things out of the garbage and take it to the garbage can outside. She goes to the outside garbage can no less than 5 times a day.

My parents are weird about trash too. They stopped buying trash bags a long time ago. They set a paper grocery bag in the kitchen trash can. It's much smaller than the can so there's a lot of space for error. Then my mom monitors it and complains because people don't realize they need good aim when they scrape food into the trash can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, some of us like to factor in our effect on the environment and keep the temperatures low for that reason. My husband and I keep our house temperature lower to use less fossil fuel energy. Yes, we know it’s a small effect we can have overall, but we are trying to do our part, even if it is small.

My mom says stuff like this when it’s convenient. It’s Greta Thunberg cosplay. The truth is that she is too overwhelmed to figure out how to replace drafty doors and windows or add more insulation, “doesn’t believe” in efficient bulbs or newer hot water heaters, and thinks replacement windows are ugly, and believes that a cold laundry room=second fridge, so she uses an ungodly amount of natural gas to heat the house to just above 60.

It could easily be cut by 75% if she’d make the house more energy efficient.

But then she also wouldn’t have the fun of penning everyone into the one tiny warm room or keeping us docile by slowing our heart rates down.

New hot water heat is not energy efficient. On demand tankless is.
You could just suggest she add interior vinyl storm windows, very easy to install with pressure fit. Much cheaper than new windows.
If she really wants to be energy efficient, create zones for heating/air cooling within the house. Seriously, why should a laundry room that is seldom occupied be heated like the rest of the house?
-architect, Passive House trained, LEED certified

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

How old are your kids that you expect them to sleep until 9am or later? 6:40 is a typical waking time for young kids and it sounds like they were staying in their room. I’d be interested to hear your SILs take on this visit.

All three of my kids are professional sleepers at 5, 7, 9. If we let them they'll sleep until 10 every morning.

Then you do not provide age appropriate bedtimes. This does make your poor children good sleepers. It makes them chronically exhausted. Good sleepers sleep 7/8pm to 7/8am.

What? Not that PP but my ES kids don’t go to sleep at 7 pm, wtf. They have activities, homework, dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is a weirdo about having garbage in the garbage can. She will take things out of the garbage and take it to the garbage can outside. She goes to the outside garbage can no less than 5 times a day.

I'm the PP with the mom who doesn't allow anything that's not a Kleenex in trash outside the kitchen. Does she have an auxiliary trash bag hanging on a cabinet knob for trash in the kitchen that she deems urgent?

She puts a plastic grocery bag in the garbage can (and there's a regular garbage bag in the can too) and then when the grocery bag is "full", she takes it outside. She also gets mad if you put something in the garbage that takes up too much room. I crushed an empty cracker box and threw it away. She took it out of the garbage and took it outside. It's bizarre. I've never seen someone so obsessed with the garbage.

I have the cabinet knob mom and she would be really disappointed if she realized that she could just have a bag inside a bag. Very innovative, but would also ruin her system for when she uses the saved "nice" white Giant bags vs. "not nice" brown Kroger bags. How would she display her nice white bags?!

I’m crying! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m hosting so I am the weird one this year I guess.

My mom arrived after visiting my brother and falling down the steps. She keeps showing my DH and kids her bruises…on her butt. DH wants to die of embarrassment, I literally think she revels in his discomfort.

She then pulled her crack apart for me so I could see that her lady bits were bruised. They aren’t but I really didn’t need to view…that. I’m seriously questioning if I can permit our other guests to come Thursday, they might sue us after for IIED.

Er... and why is she bruised down there?

Is this the exhibitionism that comes with her cognitive decline? She might belong in a nursing home.

It’s in my post…she slipped and fell down steps at my brother’s.

No, she’s like this. A nurse for 40 years, she never had a filter because she’s seen approx. 7 million naked people and doesn’t get that most people haven’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

If your kids have sleep disorders you should offer to pay for a hotel for your visitors, you really just should not have overnight guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL refuses to buy foods that the kids like and then makes us feel terrible because our kids are bad eaters. I’m not talking about sugared cereal (gasp!) or spaghetti-os level “kid food.” She made beef stew last night and tonight we are having fish because she got a good deal at the store (and because SHE likes that). The house is a museum and no games of any kind left over from Ds and three sibs. I’m not even sure they were allowed to sleep in the house as children (I know the dog wasn’t).

I don't know about this one...I grew up having to eat the same "adult" food as adults and have my kids do the same. We don't do separate meals and that has expanded my kids palate.

+1

They can eat some beef stew.

You don’t have picky kids. Mine will not eat if there isn’t an option he likes. Would go days.

Here is my gripe about all these situations (garbage, food, temperatures) - I get that there are house rules but shouldn’t they just be preferences when guests are there. Especially family that visits for a few nights a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

If your kids have sleep disorders you should offer to pay for a hotel for your visitors, you really just should not have overnight guests.

Not PP you were talking to, but my son has a sleep disorder, untreatable sleep apnea. It's NOT a joke. It will shorten his life, make him more liable to develop dementia, and worsens his existing ADHD and daily capabilities. No one should scoff at such medical troubles.

Why would I pay for hotels for guests? Our house is too small for guests. We see each other at non-Holiday times, that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

If your kids have sleep disorders you should offer to pay for a hotel for your visitors, you really just should not have overnight guests.

Not PP you were talking to, but my son has a sleep disorder, untreatable sleep apnea. It's NOT a joke. It will shorten his life, make him more liable to develop dementia, and worsens his existing ADHD and daily capabilities. No one should scoff at such medical troubles.

Why would I pay for hotels for guests? Our house is too small for guests. We see each other at non-Holiday times, that's all.

I’m not “scoffing,” I’m saying that if there’s a problem with guests, you should prioritize the health of the people who live in the house, and not have guests!

Sounds like you live close to your family; how nice. Some of us don’t and don’t get the chance to see each other very often. So yes, if they buy plane tickets and rent a car the least I can do is entertain them and pay for a few nights in a hotel to protect my kids’ health.

Again, no one is “scoffing,” so consider stop being so knee-jerk defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are only allowed to eat in the kitchen. No snacks in the living room (which is where we all hang out, next to kitchen.) Once they found a bag of chips that were in the upstairs bathroom garbage and they lost their minds. One of the kids had it in their bags from a rest stop before we got there and threw it away. We heard about it for weeks after we left.

My mom still talks about my brother’s ex-girlfriend who left a snack wrapper in the upstairs trash can. Not only is eating only allowed during meals, but “everyone knows that trash cans outside the kitchen are only for tissues.”

You can’t even take a tag off new clothing and leave it in the bathroom trash without a comment. It was really fun going through puberty as a girl under those conditions.

Wow! This is ridiculous and hilarious.

I remember a dcum poster saying she was very outraged that a houseguest left a used maxi pad wrapped up in the bathroom trash. She thought the guest should bring used bloody pads to the KITCHEN trash or notify the host "hey I left a pad in your bathroom trash" because nobody takes out the bathroom trash frequently right?

I swear it was one of the craziest out of touch things I've ever heard.

I’m not typically a freak about germs/cleanliness, but putting bathroom trash in the kitchen is beyond gross.

[Anonymous]

There is no quiet way to empty a dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

If your kids have sleep disorders you should offer to pay for a hotel for your visitors, you really just should not have overnight guests.

Not PP you were talking to, but my son has a sleep disorder, untreatable sleep apnea. It's NOT a joke. It will shorten his life, make him more liable to develop dementia, and worsens his existing ADHD and daily capabilities. No one should scoff at such medical troubles.

Why would I pay for hotels for guests? Our house is too small for guests. We see each other at non-Holiday times, that's all.

And I’m guessing you don’t host guests then. I’m sorry for your son’s issues, but when the PPs family has the special needs they don’t get to complain about the guests they allow to stay there behaving in ways that are pretty normal (an aunt that lives out of town giggling in the am with her 10 year old niece). Besides that poster seemed more irritated with her and her husband’s sleep being disrupted.

[Anonymous]

I read this entire thread to find out what was in the red container in the basement fridge…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, we are in Florida for Thanksgiving, no one is cold, house is nice, no need to worry about the meals BUT...MIL invited her nieces and nephews who DH cannot stand and she forgot to tell him about that. Until last night. Until we were already in the house. He is beyond livid. Yes the house is pretty big for everyone but he doesn't want to be in the same room with them. He insists we get another place to stay and just show up for dinner. I am having so much fun with this drama.

We need to know why DH hates his cousins. 🍿

Former addicts (meth, alcohol, you name it - they've done in). Apparently they are on the road to recovery, AA, rehabs. According to MIL, "they didn't have an easy life". According to DH, "that's such BS". Doesn't want our kids to be near them.

I’m sorry, that sounds awful.

It is awful. I already told MIL "what were you thinking about inviting a bunch of addicts to a house with young children?" She responded with "you can't pick your family." They are her sister's kids, she somehow feels responsible for them. They are all in their 30s and 40s, how much responsibility can a 76-yo woman possibly take upon herself? Once an addict, always an addict.

Are they actively using during the meal, stealing the tv or talking about drugs?
If they are in recovery what is the issue?
I understand not enabling addiction, or being the victim of one but WTF with hating someone because they are an addict?!

Yeah I don't get this one. Pp would make sense if they described some bad behavior. But being an ex addict doesn't mean a person shouldn't be around kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, we are in Florida for Thanksgiving, no one is cold, house is nice, no need to worry about the meals BUT...MIL invited her nieces and nephews who DH cannot stand and she forgot to tell him about that. Until last night. Until we were already in the house. He is beyond livid. Yes the house is pretty big for everyone but he doesn't want to be in the same room with them. He insists we get another place to stay and just show up for dinner. I am having so much fun with this drama.

We need to know why DH hates his cousins. 🍿

Former addicts (meth, alcohol, you name it - they've done in). Apparently they are on the road to recovery, AA, rehabs. According to MIL, "they didn't have an easy life". According to DH, "that's such BS". Doesn't want our kids to be near them.

I’m sorry, that sounds awful.

It is awful. I already told MIL "what were you thinking about inviting a bunch of addicts to a house with young children?" She responded with "you can't pick your family." They are her sister's kids, she somehow feels responsible for them. They are all in their 30s and 40s, how much responsibility can a 76-yo woman possibly take upon herself? Once an addict, always an addict.

Are they actively using during the meal, stealing the tv or talking about drugs?
If they are in recovery what is the issue?
I understand not enabling addiction, or being the victim of one but WTF with hating someone because they are an addict?!

Yeah I don't get this one. Pp would make sense if they described some bad behavior. But being an ex addict doesn't mean a person shouldn't be around kids.

I think it's fair to trust the judgement of the people who know them whether they are appropriate to have their kids around or not. It sounds like there is a lot of backstory and after decades it's just shortened to addicts.

My family has people like this that I don't want my kids around. They come with a host of issues and lord knows what they might talk about in front of or to the kids, and also frankly what they might leave lying around. My extended family also includes active addicts that I love dearly, and would have my kids around....in limited doses carefully monitored. Families are complex.

If the poster's DH has a position on these cousins, and has made that position clear, and the MIL "forgot" to mention it, yeah, well, MIL gets to find out that she can't force a closeness.