Can someone explain to me why so many on here would never remarry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't see any benefits to remarriage for me at this life stage. Older people who seem most keen on remarriage are typically religious, looking for financial gain, or wealthy men who have fallen for a younger woman and want to have a family together. None of those things apply. My life is full, and while dating and companionship are appealing, marriage is not. I can't conceive of changing my mind on this point.

Don't project your mean spirited thinking at others. I'm a wealthy woman, but I do want to remarry in my 40s or 50s. Reasons are not to seek financial gain, but to build a life, plan retirement, medical care, travel together with a partner. Support each other in bad and good. I still believe that is possible. Of course you can do some of that with a boyfriend, but not being married makes long term planning harder. And I also have a good lawyer who can draft a prenup, and wouldn't marry until after at least 3 years of co-habilitation. I believe marriage is a great tool to raise kids but can also serve as a good middle age planning for the mutual well-being, if the partner is right.

I'm the PP. I admit life has made me cynical about second marriages, but not mean-spirited. Your post suggests a fourth category - a hopeless romantic. Reading and life suggests if either person has children, second marriages are not good for mutual well-being, as they bring conflicting loyalties and priorities.

I'm not a hopeless romantic. Marriage is a totally practical institute, and I had a long and rather successful first marriage. Yes, we both made mistakes but I selected my first husband wisely: we were both driven, professional and hard working. We both made tons of money during marriage, joined resources in child raising and building up wealth. Neither of us lost wealth after divorce: each had it multiplied many times over what our individual NW was prior to marriage. I dont have "multiple kids" still at home. I'm an empty nester with one child. I don't date men with more than one child either, and their child should be over 13 years of age. Don't date those who wouldn't want to co-habilite or remarry in a long term perspective.
You don't don't want a relationship, period. Others want it.

It sounds absolutely miserable to try to date to marry in your 50s with ridiculous standards like not dating men with multiple children. What’s the point? Not caring about marriage means you can loosen up and date whoever you want. No need to rush for kids, to settle down, for financial support. If I found myself in my 50s doing that kind of dating like I did in my late 20s/30s I’d consider that a pretty big life failure.

Because his having more than one kid will easily block her from their money. You're welcome.

I doubt it's about money as much as time and attention. If you only have one kid and want to remarry, it makes sense not to date someone with more than 1, maybe 2. Their attention (and yes, resources) will be more divided than yours, which could lead to resentment. PP knows herself well enough to avoid that situation. The other thing PP needs to screen for is people who are caretakers for their aging parents. It's really hard to date someone who is financially and otherwise responsible for a sick parent, especially if they live together. If you're dating and they decide to move in a parent who needs around-the-clock care, it's easier to pull back. If you're married, it's now your obligation. I am admittedly generalizing here, but men are more likely than women to dump this type of caretaking responsibility on their partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't see any benefits to remarriage for me at this life stage. Older people who seem most keen on remarriage are typically religious, looking for financial gain, or wealthy men who have fallen for a younger woman and want to have a family together. None of those things apply. My life is full, and while dating and companionship are appealing, marriage is not. I can't conceive of changing my mind on this point.

Don't project your mean spirited thinking at others. I'm a wealthy woman, but I do want to remarry in my 40s or 50s. Reasons are not to seek financial gain, but to build a life, plan retirement, medical care, travel together with a partner. Support each other in bad and good. I still believe that is possible. Of course you can do some of that with a boyfriend, but not being married makes long term planning harder. And I also have a good lawyer who can draft a prenup, and wouldn't marry until after at least 3 years of co-habilitation. I believe marriage is a great tool to raise kids but can also serve as a good middle age planning for the mutual well-being, if the partner is right.

I'm the PP. I admit life has made me cynical about second marriages, but not mean-spirited. Your post suggests a fourth category - a hopeless romantic. Reading and life suggests if either person has children, second marriages are not good for mutual well-being, as they bring conflicting loyalties and priorities.

I'm not a hopeless romantic. Marriage is a totally practical institute, and I had a long and rather successful first marriage. Yes, we both made mistakes but I selected my first husband wisely: we were both driven, professional and hard working. We both made tons of money during marriage, joined resources in child raising and building up wealth. Neither of us lost wealth after divorce: each had it multiplied many times over what our individual NW was prior to marriage. I dont have "multiple kids" still at home. I'm an empty nester with one child. I don't date men with more than one child either, and their child should be over 13 years of age. Don't date those who wouldn't want to co-habilite or remarry in a long term perspective.
You don't don't want a relationship, period. Others want it.

It sounds absolutely miserable to try to date to marry in your 50s with ridiculous standards like not dating men with multiple children. What’s the point? Not caring about marriage means you can loosen up and date whoever you want. No need to rush for kids, to settle down, for financial support. If I found myself in my 50s doing that kind of dating like I did in my late 20s/30s I’d consider that a pretty big life failure.

Because his having more than one kid will easily block her from their money. You're welcome.

I doubt it's about money as much as time and attention. If you only have one kid and want to remarry, it makes sense not to date someone with more than 1, maybe 2. Their attention (and yes, resources) will be more divided than yours, which could lead to resentment. PP knows herself well enough to avoid that situation. The other thing PP needs to screen for is people who are caretakers for their aging parents. It's really hard to date someone who is financially and otherwise responsible for a sick parent, especially if they live together. If you're dating and they decide to move in a parent who needs around-the-clock care, it's easier to pull back. If you're married, it's now your obligation. I am admittedly generalizing here, but men are more likely than women to dump this type of caretaking responsibility on their partner.

PP here: yes, it's all about his time and availability to me, not the money. I have one child who is a grown up adult, and how has dad to help in adulthood. So I get plenty of time in my disposal, and don't want to be lonely on weekends when my date is spending time with their multiple kids/parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:45 yo man here — I don’t know why I would ever want to remarry. I’m financially secure and love the adult Disneyland that exists for guys my age especially with OLD. It’s like I’m in my 20s again. I don’t need the baggage and loss of my independence that comes with marriage. And it seems as soon as young women (late 20s and early 30s) see you’re financially secure, have a head on your shoulders, and willing to spoil them a little, they are very giving. I plan to enjoy this for the foreseeable future.

That’s great. Are you honest with them that you will never commit to them?

See, the difference here, is women are honest and upfront about their intentions. If they are not looking to remarry they say so upfront.

You and many of your counterparts see women as an ever changing cast of Disney characters with you as the puppet master. Leading young women on because your not capable of being a real man.

[Anonymous]

Women risk a lot by dating and marrying. Men can be more physically abusive and less responsive or caring to needs. Maybe there are a lot of women Liars too but there are just a lot of male liars on apps. Married men looking for a side chick but will pretend they are divorced. You watch killings by some of these men or stealing and just realize sex isn't worth all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:45 yo man here — I don’t know why I would ever want to remarry. I’m financially secure and love the adult Disneyland that exists for guys my age especially with OLD. It’s like I’m in my 20s again. I don’t need the baggage and loss of my independence that comes with marriage. And it seems as soon as young women (late 20s and early 30s) see you’re financially secure, have a head on your shoulders, and willing to spoil them a little, they are very giving. I plan to enjoy this for the foreseeable future.

That’s great. Are you honest with them that you will never commit to them?

See, the difference here, is women are honest and upfront about their intentions. If they are not looking to remarry they say so upfront.

You and many of your counterparts see women as an ever changing cast of Disney characters with you as the puppet master. Leading young women on because your not capable of being a real man.

If he's as financially secure as he claims, he will attract the type of women in their late 20s and early 30s who have high standards. Either he'll bend to what they want, or they'll quickly leave. Women in their late 20s and early 30s get played but men like PP because they have no standards or self-confidence, or perhaps they never intend to marry and just want a sugar daddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:45 yo man here — I don’t know why I would ever want to remarry. I’m financially secure and love the adult Disneyland that exists for guys my age especially with OLD. It’s like I’m in my 20s again. I don’t need the baggage and loss of my independence that comes with marriage. And it seems as soon as young women (late 20s and early 30s) see you’re financially secure, have a head on your shoulders, and willing to spoil them a little, they are very giving. I plan to enjoy this for the foreseeable future.

That’s great. Are you honest with them that you will never commit to them?

See, the difference here, is women are honest and upfront about their intentions. If they are not looking to remarry they say so upfront.

You and many of your counterparts see women as an ever changing cast of Disney characters with you as the puppet master. Leading young women on because your not capable of being a real man.

Any serious woman with a hint of self-respect would bail out of this even before sleeping with this PP. He's preying either on very naive young women, or these women just want casual and he's one of many partners for them

[Anonymous]

I learned in my late 20s to be happy on my own. I met DH. We’re happy 20+ years later, but I don’t feel a need to ever recreate that. If I do, yay for me, but he was unexpected las it was. I’m great company to myself and have a wonderful network.

I also have many examples in my life of non Cohabitating, healthy, long term relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something wrong with all you single people. You won’t remarry because you aren’t the marrying type in the first place and are all bitter.

Yea, a great constellation of opportunistic users on this thread with zero morals or attachments

Maybe if men want women to have “morals and attachments” and marry them, they should step up and contribute more to relationships. The stark difference between male and female interest in dating & remarriage indicates men are doing something pretty wrong collectively. Once we no longer need men to provide children or money, the equation shifts. There’s nothing immoral about it.

Maybe you’re the problem with playing victim.

ha you wish. it really bothers you that older women don’t want to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something wrong with all you single people. You won’t remarry because you aren’t the marrying type in the first place and are all bitter.

Yea, a great constellation of opportunistic users on this thread with zero morals or attachments

Maybe if men want women to have “morals and attachments” and marry them, they should step up and contribute more to relationships. The stark difference between male and female interest in dating & remarriage indicates men are doing something pretty wrong collectively. Once we no longer need men to provide children or money, the equation shifts. There’s nothing immoral about it.

Maybe you’re the problem with playing victim.

It seems that the woman above just didn't have a great dating experience. I met men on OLD and in RL who were able to offer me a lot, and would bring a lot to the equation. I don't only mean joint travel or nice dates. I've met highly intellectual men, who were great advisors in career, overall life well-being and personal growth to me. One person offered to edit my CV, for example, and gave suggestions where to send it (I didn't even sleep with him). Another had me join all local social groups, engaged in the community, business clubs and was taking me out dancing when I was going through very difficult personal times. Again, didn't even sleep with the person, only date socially at that point. Dating helps me a lot to grow as a person and truly understand men.
I don't know where you ladies find such trashy men who are not able to give you anything at all, besides sex.

PP here. Those guys sound great to date! But no need to marry them That’s the topic of the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something wrong with all you single people. You won’t remarry because you aren’t the marrying type in the first place and are all bitter.

Yea, a great constellation of opportunistic users on this thread with zero morals or attachments

Maybe if men want women to have “morals and attachments” and marry them, they should step up and contribute more to relationships. The stark difference between male and female interest in dating & remarriage indicates men are doing something pretty wrong collectively. Once we no longer need men to provide children or money, the equation shifts. There’s nothing immoral about it.

Maybe you’re the problem with playing victim.

ha you wish. it really bothers you that older women don’t want to get married.

You previous answer is proof that you do want to remarry.

considering that I never got married in the first place, unlikely! what do you think you are proving here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have spent thirty years taking care of everyone's needs except my own. I have zero interest in taking on more.

+1M

[Anonymous]

“women are honest and upfront about their intentions”

Hahahaha only a woman would ever say this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something wrong with all you single people. You won’t remarry because you aren’t the marrying type in the first place and are all bitter.

Yea, a great constellation of opportunistic users on this thread with zero morals or attachments

Maybe if men want women to have “morals and attachments” and marry them, they should step up and contribute more to relationships. The stark difference between male and female interest in dating & remarriage indicates men are doing something pretty wrong collectively. Once we no longer need men to provide children or money, the equation shifts. There’s nothing immoral about it.

Maybe you’re the problem with playing victim.

ha you wish. it really bothers you that older women don’t want to get married.

“I don’t want to get married again I’m tired of taking care of useless manbabies” is pure cope from women who are old and unattractive and thus men aren’t interested in marrying them.

[Anonymous]

I am happily married and would never remarry if i were widowed. I see no advantages to remarrying later in life, and a number of pitfalls.

I have a well paying job and decent assets, perhaps in a different financial situation remarriage makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something wrong with all you single people. You won’t remarry because you aren’t the marrying type in the first place and are all bitter.

Yea, a great constellation of opportunistic users on this thread with zero morals or attachments

Maybe if men want women to have “morals and attachments” and marry them, they should step up and contribute more to relationships. The stark difference between male and female interest in dating & remarriage indicates men are doing something pretty wrong collectively. Once we no longer need men to provide children or money, the equation shifts. There’s nothing immoral about it.

Maybe you’re the problem with playing victim.

ha you wish. it really bothers you that older women don’t want to get married.

“I don’t want to get married again I’m tired of taking care of useless manbabies” is pure cope from women who are old and unattractive and thus men aren’t interested in marrying them.

It's the opposite. Women who are the most attractive and independently wealthy are the least likely to want remarriage. And so what? Plenty of women want marriage or remarriage, so date them if that's your goal. No need to get testy on here.