I recently realized that my 13 y.o. daughter is comparing her attractiveness to mine, so I need to step up my game

[Anonymous]

OP has got to be a troll. If not, she’s a poor role model and too fixated on superficial things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be blunt, OP: your post gives vibes of deep-seated insecurity with appearances and body issues.

Your job as a mom with regard to your daughter's body is to 1.) encourage your daughter to have good hygiene/nutrition/exercise habits and avoid drugs and alcohol, and 2.) have a good mental health approach and relationship to body stuff.
For the record, if dad is in the picture, this is his job, too.

If you want to up your game for YOU that's fine/great!

But comparing yourself to other moms, especially relative to size and age, is doing your daughter zero favors.

Also, be was pretty as you can be: your daughter will likely still be somewhat embarrassed by you for a variety of silly teen reasons.

Ha ha. Very true. I am one of the younger, "prettier" mothers in my daughter's circle, and she still pokes fun at me. Very rarely, I will come down in the morning, and she will look me up and down approvingly and say "you look nice today". HIGH PRAISE from a 13 year old girl!!! Nothing makes her happier than when I have an event and *I ask her opinion on what I should wear*. It sets her up so much! She has an eye for color, and usually her suggestions are appropriate for a 40-something mother.

Maybe you could ask your daughter to look through some of your outfits, and that will teach her to dress you for the figure you have, not the figure she wishes you had? And maybe you could go shopping together.

And another shallow twit.

This is why women just can't break the cycle. Because of other women.

This made me laugh! What does “ break the cycle” even mean? You want everyone to be like you? An ugly frumpy fat woman who is “not shallow” because she is obese. LOL

Why do you think people who value things other than outward appearances are automatically "obese"? Why is that your go to insult to women?

Break the cycle as in stop passing down generational trauma from our parents to our children. Learn better ways to communicate and relate. Do better in supporting their dreams and ambitions and raising them to be kind and empathetic human beings. You know, like not calling randos on the internet "ugly frumpy fat obese"?

Wait is having a mom who wore makeup and constantly dieted “generational trauma” now? I’m going to break the cycle of going for the “top-shelf” words to describe everything which inevitably leads to words losing all meaning. (aka I will teach my daughter not to be a drama queen like so many of the grown women posting in this thread)

You are clearly a troll and probably dont even have children (and maybe arent even a woman), but I'll take the bait.

Instilling insecurity about your looks and how society views you can be very damaging. Talking badly about yourself and other womens looks shows children that its OK to talk about themselves and others that way. Calling women you have never met ugly frumpy fat and obese is definitely damaging and not something you should encourage your child to tell anyone. Having respect for humans for whats on the inside is never a bad lesson to learn, perhaps you should focus on that for a while.

This is an insane reaction but I suppose it was my fault for not specifying “DP” on my previous post (ie I didn’t call anyone any names, I merely object to the usage of the term “generational trauma” coming within a mile of anything described in this thread).

You replied sounding exactly like the pp, how is this reply "an insane reaction"? I agree that just the acts of wearing makeup or dieting are not generation trauma, but what pp was insinuating goes far beyond that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be blunt, OP: your post gives vibes of deep-seated insecurity with appearances and body issues.

Your job as a mom with regard to your daughter's body is to 1.) encourage your daughter to have good hygiene/nutrition/exercise habits and avoid drugs and alcohol, and 2.) have a good mental health approach and relationship to body stuff.
For the record, if dad is in the picture, this is his job, too.

If you want to up your game for YOU that's fine/great!

But comparing yourself to other moms, especially relative to size and age, is doing your daughter zero favors.

Also, be was pretty as you can be: your daughter will likely still be somewhat embarrassed by you for a variety of silly teen reasons.

Ha ha. Very true. I am one of the younger, "prettier" mothers in my daughter's circle, and she still pokes fun at me. Very rarely, I will come down in the morning, and she will look me up and down approvingly and say "you look nice today". HIGH PRAISE from a 13 year old girl!!! Nothing makes her happier than when I have an event and *I ask her opinion on what I should wear*. It sets her up so much! She has an eye for color, and usually her suggestions are appropriate for a 40-something mother.

Maybe you could ask your daughter to look through some of your outfits, and that will teach her to dress you for the figure you have, not the figure she wishes you had? And maybe you could go shopping together.

And another shallow twit.

This is why women just can't break the cycle. Because of other women.

This made me laugh! What does “ break the cycle” even mean? You want everyone to be like you? An ugly frumpy fat woman who is “not shallow” because she is obese. LOL

Why do you think people who value things other than outward appearances are automatically "obese"? Why is that your go to insult to women?

Break the cycle as in stop passing down generational trauma from our parents to our children. Learn better ways to communicate and relate. Do better in supporting their dreams and ambitions and raising them to be kind and empathetic human beings. You know, like not calling randos on the internet "ugly frumpy fat obese"?

Wait is having a mom who wore makeup and constantly dieted “generational trauma” now? I’m going to break the cycle of going for the “top-shelf” words to describe everything which inevitably leads to words losing all meaning. (aka I will teach my daughter not to be a drama queen like so many of the grown women posting in this thread)

And yet, you are the one posting some of the nastiest, most ridiculous drama-inducing nonsense on the thread.

Seriously, Jimmy, stop playing on mommy's computer. Go back to your Xbox.

You realize the multiple people can respond to each post, don’t you? It’s obvious to me that there are at least four different people participating in this very conversation within this thread…

You realize it was a response aimed at the preceding poster? Sit down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be blunt, OP: your post gives vibes of deep-seated insecurity with appearances and body issues.

Your job as a mom with regard to your daughter's body is to 1.) encourage your daughter to have good hygiene/nutrition/exercise habits and avoid drugs and alcohol, and 2.) have a good mental health approach and relationship to body stuff.
For the record, if dad is in the picture, this is his job, too.

If you want to up your game for YOU that's fine/great!

But comparing yourself to other moms, especially relative to size and age, is doing your daughter zero favors.

Also, be was pretty as you can be: your daughter will likely still be somewhat embarrassed by you for a variety of silly teen reasons.

Ha ha. Very true. I am one of the younger, "prettier" mothers in my daughter's circle, and she still pokes fun at me. Very rarely, I will come down in the morning, and she will look me up and down approvingly and say "you look nice today". HIGH PRAISE from a 13 year old girl!!! Nothing makes her happier than when I have an event and *I ask her opinion on what I should wear*. It sets her up so much! She has an eye for color, and usually her suggestions are appropriate for a 40-something mother.

Maybe you could ask your daughter to look through some of your outfits, and that will teach her to dress you for the figure you have, not the figure she wishes you had? And maybe you could go shopping together.

And another shallow twit.

This is why women just can't break the cycle. Because of other women.

This made me laugh! What does “ break the cycle” even mean? You want everyone to be like you? An ugly frumpy fat woman who is “not shallow” because she is obese. LOL

Why do you think people who value things other than outward appearances are automatically "obese"? Why is that your go to insult to women?

Break the cycle as in stop passing down generational trauma from our parents to our children. Learn better ways to communicate and relate. Do better in supporting their dreams and ambitions and raising them to be kind and empathetic human beings. You know, like not calling randos on the internet "ugly frumpy fat obese"?

Wait is having a mom who wore makeup and constantly dieted “generational trauma” now? I’m going to break the cycle of going for the “top-shelf” words to describe everything which inevitably leads to words losing all meaning. (aka I will teach my daughter not to be a drama queen like so many of the grown women posting in this thread)

And yet, you are the one posting some of the nastiest, most ridiculous drama-inducing nonsense on the thread.

Seriously, Jimmy, stop playing on mommy's computer. Go back to your Xbox.

You realize the multiple people can respond to each post, don’t you? It’s obvious to me that there are at least four different people participating in this very conversation within this thread…

You realize it was a response aimed at the preceding poster? Sit down.

I’m really sorry you don’t understand how anonymous message boards work. I hope this conversation doesn’t exacerbate your childhood PTSD from your mom telling you it’s okay to run a comb through your hair sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be blunt, OP: your post gives vibes of deep-seated insecurity with appearances and body issues.

Your job as a mom with regard to your daughter's body is to 1.) encourage your daughter to have good hygiene/nutrition/exercise habits and avoid drugs and alcohol, and 2.) have a good mental health approach and relationship to body stuff.
For the record, if dad is in the picture, this is his job, too.

If you want to up your game for YOU that's fine/great!

But comparing yourself to other moms, especially relative to size and age, is doing your daughter zero favors.

Also, be was pretty as you can be: your daughter will likely still be somewhat embarrassed by you for a variety of silly teen reasons.

Ha ha. Very true. I am one of the younger, "prettier" mothers in my daughter's circle, and she still pokes fun at me. Very rarely, I will come down in the morning, and she will look me up and down approvingly and say "you look nice today". HIGH PRAISE from a 13 year old girl!!! Nothing makes her happier than when I have an event and *I ask her opinion on what I should wear*. It sets her up so much! She has an eye for color, and usually her suggestions are appropriate for a 40-something mother.

Maybe you could ask your daughter to look through some of your outfits, and that will teach her to dress you for the figure you have, not the figure she wishes you had? And maybe you could go shopping together.

And another shallow twit.

This is why women just can't break the cycle. Because of other women.

Shallow Twit you replied to. You're very amusing, PP. I'm a research scientist and it may be the first time in my life I've been called shallow. Maybe the shallow person isn't the one you think, but I don't expect you to engage in such a deep self-reflection. You rock on with your surface-level virtue-signaling! Doesn't affect the rest of us in the least.

NP but your "I'm a research scientist" to justify all of your dumb opinions ALL OVER DCUM is getting old. Yes, we all recognize your posts because you just love to tell us you are a research scientist over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses are divided between:

1. Wise people who know that appearances count and who can find ways to manage societal expectations as well as teen angst about same, so their daughters are aware what portion of intelligence, kindness and looks may contribute to their future success.

2. Insecure, foolish, women triggered by the fact others may or may not be prettier, and who strenuously insist that girls should be raised to be blind to appearances and only look at the beauty within. WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

I think you're confused about who is foolish and insecure.

[Anonymous]

I have teen and teen sons. I have caught some boys at their schools checking me out. I actually feel grossed out and not flattered.

My daughter is in elementary and I think she just sees me as mom.