Is there any way to convince a young man to step it up because he will never do better?

[Anonymous]

But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time.

[Anonymous]

I don't like watching anybody make the same mistakes I made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys aren’t getting married in their 20s. Is is 29 or 21?

Actually though, some of the best ones are.

This forum is incredibly biased against marrying in your mid 20s, and also likes to gloss over fertility facts, how shallow the dating pool gets towards your 30s, and even things like getting sick (ex. cancer) in your 30s or 40s, or having kids earlier enough to see your grandkids grow up before you croak.

That’s an atheist UMC east coast white people thing- marrying after age 30.

Most of the country, including secular Jews, Catholics and practicing Christians, don’t have a problem marrying their high school or college sweetheart at age 25 at all.

Make sure you old East coasters don’t ever move to another region of the country; you’ll really have missed the marriage boat then!

ok brunch granny! thanks for the advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time.

Everyone thinks they can do better until they can't. They don't realize how quickly dating pool dries up and becomes leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys aren’t getting married in their 20s. Is is 29 or 21?

Actually though, some of the best ones are.

This forum is incredibly biased against marrying in your mid 20s, and also likes to gloss over fertility facts, how shallow the dating pool gets towards your 30s, and even things like getting sick (ex. cancer) in your 30s or 40s, or having kids early enough to see your grandkids grow up before you croak.

That’s an atheist UMC east coast white people thing- marrying after age 30.

Most of the country, including secular Jews, Catholics and practicing Christians, don’t have a problem marrying their high school or college sweetheart at age 25 at all.

Make sure you old East coasters don’t ever move to another region of the country; you’ll really have missed the marriage boat then!

Interesting. I graduated from an East Coast college and most of the wedding invites were from age 23 to 27. Handful of 30 plus weddings but they weren't the norm. At least in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time.

Everyone thinks they can do better until they can't. They don't realize how quickly dating pool dries up and becomes leftovers.

great reason to marry someone you're not actually that into!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys aren’t getting married in their 20s. Is is 29 or 21?

Actually though, some of the best ones are.

This forum is incredibly biased against marrying in your mid 20s, and also likes to gloss over fertility facts, how shallow the dating pool gets towards your 30s, and even things like getting sick (ex. cancer) in your 30s or 40s, or having kids earlier enough to see your grandkids grow up before you croak.

That’s an atheist UMC east coast white people thing- marrying after age 30.

Most of the country, including secular Jews, Catholics and practicing Christians, don’t have a problem marrying their high school or college sweetheart at age 25 at all.

Make sure you old East coasters don’t ever move to another region of the country; you’ll really have missed the marriage boat then!

Disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys aren’t getting married in their 20s. Is is 29 or 21?

Actually though, some of the best ones are.

This forum is incredibly biased against marrying in your mid 20s, and also likes to gloss over fertility facts, how shallow the dating pool gets towards your 30s, and even things like getting sick (ex. cancer) in your 30s or 40s, or having kids early enough to see your grandkids grow up before you croak.

That’s an atheist UMC east coast white people thing- marrying after age 30.

Most of the country, including secular Jews, Catholics and practicing Christians, don’t have a problem marrying their high school or college sweetheart at age 25 at all.

Make sure you old East coasters don’t ever move to another region of the country; you’ll really have missed the marriage boat then!

Interesting. I graduated from an East Coast college and most of the wedding invites were from age 23 to 27. Handful of 30 plus weddings but they weren't the norm. At least in the 90s.

I am 45. Everyone I know married at about 32. Catholics and Jews and Muslims included. Many people this area marry in their 30s. I do not know anyone who married in their 20s here. No one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time.

Everyone thinks they can do better until they can't. They don't realize how quickly dating pool dries up and becomes leftovers.

great reason to marry someone you're not actually that into!

You don’t realize what you had until it’s gone and you’re stuck dating leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys aren’t getting married in their 20s. Is is 29 or 21?

Actually though, some of the best ones are.

This forum is incredibly biased against marrying in your mid 20s, and also likes to gloss over fertility facts, how shallow the dating pool gets towards your 30s, and even things like getting sick (ex. cancer) in your 30s or 40s, or having kids early enough to see your grandkids grow up before you croak.

That’s an atheist UMC east coast white people thing- marrying after age 30.

Most of the country, including secular Jews, Catholics and practicing Christians, don’t have a problem marrying their high school or college sweetheart at age 25 at all.

Make sure you old East coasters don’t ever move to another region of the country; you’ll really have missed the marriage boat then!

Interesting. I graduated from an East Coast college and most of the wedding invites were from age 23 to 27. Handful of 30 plus weddings but they weren't the norm. At least in the 90s.

Jewish weddings or church weddings?

Or outside pastor or officiant weddings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time.

Everyone thinks they can do better until they can't. They don't realize how quickly dating pool dries up and becomes leftovers.

great reason to marry someone you're not actually that into!

Well, no but you need to br ready to settle for worse later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys aren’t getting married in their 20s. Is is 29 or 21?

Actually though, some of the best ones are.

This forum is incredibly biased against marrying in your mid 20s, and also likes to gloss over fertility facts, how shallow the dating pool gets towards your 30s, and even things like getting sick (ex. cancer) in your 30s or 40s, or having kids earlier enough to see your grandkids grow up before you croak.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time.

Everyone thinks they can do better until they can't. They don't realize how quickly dating pool dries up and becomes leftovers.

great reason to marry someone you're not actually that into!

You don’t realize what you had until it’s gone and you’re stuck dating leftovers.

Yeah, again, great reason to marry someone you're not that actually into! "I'm worried I won't do better" - make sure to put that in your vows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But I have to go to college, work, grad school, work and sow my wild oats before I start dating for marriage. Duh. 30 seems about right to start looking for the special girl. Or whomever I happen to be dating at that time.

Everyone thinks they can do better until they can't. They don't realize how quickly dating pool dries up and becomes leftovers.

great reason to marry someone you're not actually that into!

Well, no but you need to br ready to settle for worse later.

You people are so weird. Marriage isn't an issue of checking off some number of boxes. It's finding someone you can actually build a life with - and who you want to build a life with. There is no "settle for worse" - there is not being ready to make the compromises that life with another person entails, and then being ready to make those compromises. Ask the spouses of the people who marry too soon how happy everything is - I am going to guess, not very happy.

Marry when you are ready to marry. Marry someone who you get along with, who you can build a life with. That would be my advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys aren’t getting married in their 20s. Is is 29 or 21?

Actually though, some of the best ones are.

This forum is incredibly biased against marrying in your mid 20s, and also likes to gloss over fertility facts, how shallow the dating pool gets towards your 30s, and even things like getting sick (ex. cancer) in your 30s or 40s, or having kids earlier enough to see your grandkids grow up before you croak.

That’s an atheist UMC east coast white people thing- marrying after age 30.

Most of the country, including secular Jews, Catholics and practicing Christians, don’t have a problem marrying their high school or college sweetheart at age 25 at all.

Make sure you old East coasters don’t ever move to another region of the country; you’ll really have missed the marriage boat then!

I agree. I live in the midwest now and at least 90% of the millenial adults who grew up suburban middle class to affluent married by 25. Even the ones who became pink hair free spirits are married with children. The younger kids of my wealthy friends (evangelical types I suppose) are married while still in college!