2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends where my kids end up.

kids move. In both in DH's and my family, the majority of the kids moved away, some to other countries.

Just live near a good sized airport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real trick is to have a couple of residences that you can bounce between during your retirement years. If you keep residency days below the statutory threshold, you can conceivably also eliminate any state taxes. When not staying in a home, you rent it out as a furnished unit.

Lets say you had a 1BR in NYC, house in Chevy Chase MD, and a home in San Diego CA. With enough documentation and staying below the 183 day/six month rule, you could conceivably pay no state income tax other than that related to rental income of the home in the jurisdiction.

You can’t not claim ANY state if you live in the US you have to pick one.

You can pick South Dakota, especially if you travel a lot for work/pleasure or spend a large portion of the year outside the US:
https://dps.sd.gov/driver-licensing/renew-and-duplicate/full-time-travelers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real trick is to have a couple of residences that you can bounce between during your retirement years. If you keep residency days below the statutory threshold, you can conceivably also eliminate any state taxes. When not staying in a home, you rent it out as a furnished unit.

Lets say you had a 1BR in NYC, house in Chevy Chase MD, and a home in San Diego CA. With enough documentation and staying below the 183 day/six month rule, you could conceivably pay no state income tax other than that related to rental income of the home in the jurisdiction.

Really? We have homes in MD and DE and I’d get a third if it meant skipping MD taxes. I’m actually considering moving to NJ, not the cheapest but they have excellent public safety. I’d not be so panicked about crime.

? you want to escape MD taxes but willing to buy in NJ? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're moving to Belize in October. Can't wait. The kids can't wait to visit and we will be back a few times a year for a few weeks each time.

Oooh! Sounds amazing! Tell us more!

We're moving to an island off the coast so not on the mainland. The mainland is cheaper but we fell in love with the island (Ambergris Caye). We're buying a small house on the lagoon side on a canal with a small swimming pool and a nice fenced in lot for under $300K. There are no private cars so you have a golf cart or bike or walk (or boat). There's about 20,000 people on the island altogether at peak season. It's around 82 degrees and usually sunny every day. English is the official language. There's no one day delivery, no chain stores or restaurants, no mass shootings, no commuting. It's a simpler, slower way of life. I've been working online/phone throughout the pandemic so I'll continue to do that. We're also starting a small, simple business that we can at least afford to run/break even on and will probably significantly contribute to our expenses.

Including my portion of my kids' college tuition, health insurance in the US just in case of a catastrophic illness (routine care down there is super cheap), and a reasonable day-to-day existence including travel to/from the US, tickets for the kids, and meals out usually at local, sometimes at tourist restaurants, we can live on under $4,000/month. Easily. Most Belizeans on the island live on under $1,000/month so that would be a very comfortable existence.

We're tired of the violence in the US, the political situation, the orange man possibly coming back, the traffic, the commute, the commercialism, the expense. Belize is absolutely not perfect, but people are happy, it's beautiful, we can work to live and have more time for outdoor activities, we will have a lighter footprint on the earth, and it's really not that much harder to get to than if my kids went to college anywhere from the Midwest to California. Around 8 hours from BWI to the island if you work it right.

[Anonymous]

sorry, but could you speak to the healthcare? likelihood of natural disasters? taxation? Thank you! Very interesting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real trick is to have a couple of residences that you can bounce between during your retirement years. If you keep residency days below the statutory threshold, you can conceivably also eliminate any state taxes. When not staying in a home, you rent it out as a furnished unit.

Lets say you had a 1BR in NYC, house in Chevy Chase MD, and a home in San Diego CA. With enough documentation and staying below the 183 day/six month rule, you could conceivably pay no state income tax other than that related to rental income of the home in the jurisdiction.

Really? We have homes in MD and DE and I’d get a third if it meant skipping MD taxes. I’m actually considering moving to NJ, not the cheapest but they have excellent public safety. I’d not be so panicked about crime.

? you want to escape MD taxes but willing to buy in NJ? lol

Seriously. NJ hits you crazy hard on both income and property taxes.

[Anonymous]

As long as we can afford the COL here in LA, we probably will stay here. Never thought I'd retire here but capital gains tax hit and need to be in proximity to excellent health care providers make it prudent to stay in place. Climate really doesn't get much better than here, 30 mins from the airport and not sure where kids will end up living. Barring a major airport or rioting, it's been pretty safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as we can afford the COL here in LA, we probably will stay here. Never thought I'd retire here but capital gains tax hit and need to be in proximity to excellent health care providers make it prudent to stay in place. Climate really doesn't get much better than here, 30 mins from the airport and not sure where kids will end up living. Barring a major airport or rioting, it's been pretty safe.

*correction: major earthquake not airport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Washington State and some parts of Oregon. CA too expensive.

Oregon coast or Columbia River Gorge

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand cost of living argument.

My MIL lives on Long Island in NY. But as an 82 year old at her income level she gets a generous senior citizen enhanced star tax break on property taxes plus a husband was a veteran gets her an additional property tax break.

She pays zero state taxes as her SS and pension is exempt and she gets standard deduction.

She has no mortgage.

Most retirees have house paid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand cost of living argument.

My MIL lives on Long Island in NY. But as an 82 year old at her income level she gets a generous senior citizen enhanced star tax break on property taxes plus a husband was a veteran gets her an additional property tax break.

She pays zero state taxes as her SS and pension is exempt and she gets standard deduction.

She has no mortgage.

Most retirees have house paid off.

That's your MIL's situation, not most retirees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are really something else.

You move to the DC area because you have a single focus in your life – your high-powered career. You spend your entire life here focused on that, and when you do decide it’s time to fit some kids in you make damned sure they follow your single-minded footsteps and go off to the best bumper-sticker worthy college they can get into and off they go and never return. Then, once your all consuming career is over and your high achieving kids are long gone, you look around and tell yourself there is no community here and that this area is too transient for you to stick around.

Some of us haven’t structured our lives the way you did. So we do have a community here, and we have every reason to stick around.

+1

I discovered community in the DMV and revised my career to have more time and life balance. We will stay put in the DMV partly so kids can return and visit with friends at school breaks. I can’t imagine them wanting to visit if we live in a town with zero people they know…

Yep. Admittedly, we moved here decades ago for a so-called “high powered job” for one of us but we had had our kids young (not just when we could “fit them in”) and already had a couple of pre-schoolers when we got here.

We put the kids in public instead of private school, encouraged state colleges, and stayed in the same suburban neighborhood for decades, all of which solidified our local ties.

When we moved as empty nesters, it was just across the river into downtown DC. All of our kids and most of their friends (and friends’ parents) stayed in the area. It’s definitely home to many, many people.

I mean, if you’re gonna move here only for a job, have kids later in life, get a nanny, keep plugging away, then put the kids in private schools disconnected with the neighborhood where the graduate disperse themselves to colleges all over the country, how to you expect your family to put down roots here? When the career is over and the kids are gone, what’s left?

Many of my friends and family are friends with people from all over the US and the world - they prefer to not have a tiny bubble.

Such a typical elitist and defensive response. You can both live here and be settled here and have your family here and be “friends with people from all over the US and the world.” You just see the local folks more often. And the reality is, from a human nature standpoint, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is less of a real thing than “out of sight out of mind.”

I’d like to resettle my family somewhere besides DC once I stop working though. I live here, like a lot of people, because my pay and benefits are much more than somewhere like New York City, where someone with a bunch of Fed jobs on their CV could only afford a duplex in some far out place in Queens or Staten Island. After DCs are out of school and we have a bunch of money in our generous Fed funded retirement account we can afford to downsize to much nicer places in Manhattan.

Our friends will be more than happy to visit us a couple times a year in the greatest city in the world. There’s a big difference in moving away to rural Tennessee and moving to a nicer, close city like NYC if you’re concerned about seeing friends and family. We’ll be our kids’ and our friend’s Manhattan Airbnb.

Feds retiring to a multi-bedroom apartment in Manhattan? Wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand cost of living argument.

My MIL lives on Long Island in NY. But as an 82 year old at her income level she gets a generous senior citizen enhanced star tax break on property taxes plus a husband was a veteran gets her an additional property tax break.

She pays zero state taxes as her SS and pension is exempt and she gets standard deduction.

She has no mortgage.

Most retirees have house paid off.

That's your MIL's situation, not most retirees.

+1 MoCo taxes all income, 3.2%. There is no property tax break for 65+ unless you are military or owned the home for 40 years. We will have owned our home for 25 years by the time I hit 65.

Also, we don't have a pension. We have a 401k that gets taxed as income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are really something else.

You move to the DC area because you have a single focus in your life – your high-powered career. You spend your entire life here focused on that, and when you do decide it’s time to fit some kids in you make damned sure they follow your single-minded footsteps and go off to the best bumper-sticker worthy college they can get into and off they go and never return. Then, once your all consuming career is over and your high achieving kids are long gone, you look around and tell yourself there is no community here and that this area is too transient for you to stick around.

Some of us haven’t structured our lives the way you did. So we do have a community here, and we have every reason to stick around.

+1

I discovered community in the DMV and revised my career to have more time and life balance. We will stay put in the DMV partly so kids can return and visit with friends at school breaks. I can’t imagine them wanting to visit if we live in a town with zero people they know…

Yep. Admittedly, we moved here decades ago for a so-called “high powered job” for one of us but we had had our kids young (not just when we could “fit them in”) and already had a couple of pre-schoolers when we got here.

We put the kids in public instead of private school, encouraged state colleges, and stayed in the same suburban neighborhood for decades, all of which solidified our local ties.

When we moved as empty nesters, it was just across the river into downtown DC. All of our kids and most of their friends (and friends’ parents) stayed in the area. It’s definitely home to many, many people.

I mean, if you’re gonna move here only for a job, have kids later in life, get a nanny, keep plugging away, then put the kids in private schools disconnected with the neighborhood where the graduate disperse themselves to colleges all over the country, how to you expect your family to put down roots here? When the career is over and the kids are gone, what’s left?

Many of my friends and family are friends with people from all over the US and the world - they prefer to not have a tiny bubble.

Such a typical elitist and defensive response. You can both live here and be settled here and have your family here and be “friends with people from all over the US and the world.” You just see the local folks more often. And the reality is, from a human nature standpoint, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is less of a real thing than “out of sight out of mind.”

I’d like to resettle my family somewhere besides DC once I stop working though. I live here, like a lot of people, because my pay and benefits are much more than somewhere like New York City, where someone with a bunch of Fed jobs on their CV could only afford a duplex in some far out place in Queens or Staten Island. After DCs are out of school and we have a bunch of money in our generous Fed funded retirement account we can afford to downsize to much nicer places in Manhattan.

Our friends will be more than happy to visit us a couple times a year in the greatest city in the world. There’s a big difference in moving away to rural Tennessee and moving to a nicer, close city like NYC if you’re concerned about seeing friends and family. We’ll be our kids’ and our friend’s Manhattan Airbnb.

I'm looking forward to this post on DCUM in 20 years:

"My MIL keeps demanding that we visit them in NYC because it's the world's greatest city but she doesn't understand why we don't go more than once a year. I enjoy NYC, but they live in a cramped apartment, there's no room for all of us and the kids have to sleep on the floor and NYC is always dirty and gritty. It's awful in the summers where I'd rather be at the beach. And so expensive to do anything with the kids. We always feel obliged to take the in laws out to dinner and it cost a fortune for all of us to eat out. And then on top of it, it's not so easy taking a whole weekend to go to NYC because we have things to do on the weekend and we work during the week. She just refuses to understand that it'd be a lot easier for them to come stay with us in our suburban house where there's plenty of room and the kids' schedules aren't disrupted. Can anyone suggest how I can gently let her know it really isn't that pleasurable to go up to NYC?"

This made me laugh! My single-with-no-kids BIL lives in Brooklyn and complains regularly that we always host holidays at our suburban home here. We rarely go visit him for a lot of the reasons you listed; it's especially hard with small kids.

That said, my ILs live in a 3-bedroom apartment in Chicago and we love visiting them. They have enough space to host us, a parking space that they borrow from a friend for us in their building, and we can walk to the lakefront and museums and trains with our kids. So, if you have the money to afford all that in a big city, then go for it. Or, if you just really want to live in NYC for all the day-to-day benefits you would enjoy, then make that work for you and just don't be surprised when it's harder for your kids to visit.

NYC >>>>> Chicago, plus it’s less than a 4 hour drive from here. Much easier for kids to visit. Our family of 4 stays in a single hotel room when we visit NYC and do just fine. Why would someone not visit their parents if their parents had a 2 br apartment, with one room reserved for guests. Makes no sense. A lot of just love the suburbs. We don’t.

How old are your kids? You must not travel outside the US where this is pretty much impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand cost of living argument.

My MIL lives on Long Island in NY. But as an 82 year old at her income level she gets a generous senior citizen enhanced star tax break on property taxes plus a husband was a veteran gets her an additional property tax break.

She pays zero state taxes as her SS and pension is exempt and she gets standard deduction.

She has no mortgage.

Most retirees have house paid off.

read bolded