Pet peeve: deboarding an airplane by row

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

She was upset, but you and others still got to move forward. Yes? So…and what? You can’t control the feelings and expectations and others. Her “upset” did not prevent you and others from deplaning. What are you looking for here, for strangers to tell you how to control the feelings of other strangers?

I’m asking if I should have sat down and let her try to pass a few rows down the aisle or if I was correct in moving forward.

She said some pretty unkind things to me as I moved on, and she was still fussing about it (and me personally) in baggage claim. (Along the lines of my “privilege” and the fact that we both ended up at baggage claim waiting.)

My thinking was this: even if I sit down and let her pass, she would then need to convince 3+ aisles behind us to sit still and let her grab her bag. Fat chance that would happen.

Why wouldn't you just step to the side a bit and let her squeeze behind you, then forget about her? She can navigate beyond that...or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is because people don't want to upset a potentially highly irrational person, so they have to over exaggerate their patience and "kindness".

But I would say in general what I have witnessed is that if I'm in row 10 and I'm ready to go but the person in row 9 is still sitting and gathering their belongings, it's understood and accepted that expected that we just keep it moving forward. When the person in row 9 stands up and makes a motion to leave the row, then they are allowed to enter. Not unlike merging onto the freeway.

This is exactly how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

That lady is an idiot! No way in the world would I accommodate her. You were 100% right, PP.

I agree the lady should not have expected people to wait and sit back down. That's insane. But if the compartment was close enough, and the bag not too onerous, most people have seen on planes will offer to get the bag and pass it up.

But seriously, no point in rushing off the plane; I think for many people, though, it's anxiety that makes them act like prisoners trying to escape death row.

I travel routinely for work, and it’s mostly older men and women who rush off and immediately go to the restroom.

I was on a flight last week and a woman literally said, “Move it, people! I need to pee!”

I thought it was hilarious. But she was pushing past people and quite aggressive.

But planes gave bathrooms.

So their “emergency” is self-inflicted.

Off topic I know, but I wanted to address this because it's not really entirely fair.
1. Older people, with or without mobility issues, can find walking around a plane and navigating a cramped bathroom incredibly difficult.
2. A lot of times right before the initial descent, people crowd the lavs for a last pee and you may miss your chance. Then you have about 20 minutes when you are not allowed up again. At any rate, what wasn't urgent 20 minutes before can become urgent.
3. Not saying you should be an aggressive d!ck about getting off the plane, but as a youngish woman with a partially prolapsed bladder, I can completely understand their predicament.

Anyway, carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

She was upset, but you and others still got to move forward. Yes? So…and what? You can’t control the feelings and expectations and others. Her “upset” did not prevent you and others from deplaning. What are you looking for here, for strangers to tell you how to control the feelings of other strangers?

I’m asking if I should have sat down and let her try to pass a few rows down the aisle or if I was correct in moving forward.

She said some pretty unkind things to me as I moved on, and she was still fussing about it (and me personally) in baggage claim. (Along the lines of my “privilege” and the fact that we both ended up at baggage claim waiting.)

My thinking was this: even if I sit down and let her pass, she would then need to convince 3+ aisles behind us to sit still and let her grab her bag. Fat chance that would happen.

Why wouldn't you just step to the side a bit and let her squeeze behind you, then forget about her? She can navigate beyond that...or not.

That shouldn't have been your thinking at all. You should have just said, "Sorry, I am squeezed in and can't move." Instead, you played airplane police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

The people who are sitting in the row where her luggage is know the FA had to place her bag there. They know it isn’t theirs. They know which bag she is probably referring to.
So she, or you, ask the people in that row if they wouldn’t mind passing it up.

If it’s too big and heavy to pass up then I would let her squeeze in it to get it.

This is what has happened on flights I am on. Just try to be thoughtful and kind. How can you be helpful instead of constantly judging other people’s behavior?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Person in row 7 needs to wait until they can get to their bag

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Person in row 7 needs to wait until they can get to their bag

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

She was upset, but you and others still got to move forward. Yes? So…and what? You can’t control the feelings and expectations and others. Her “upset” did not prevent you and others from deplaning. What are you looking for here, for strangers to tell you how to control the feelings of other strangers?

I’m asking if I should have sat down and let her try to pass a few rows down the aisle or if I was correct in moving forward.

She said some pretty unkind things to me as I moved on, and she was still fussing about it (and me personally) in baggage claim. (Along the lines of my “privilege” and the fact that we both ended up at baggage claim waiting.)

My thinking was this: even if I sit down and let her pass, she would then need to convince 3+ aisles behind us to sit still and let her grab her bag. Fat chance that would happen.

Why wouldn't you just step to the side a bit and let her squeeze behind you, then forget about her? She can navigate beyond that...or not.

This is exactly what you should do (if it happens in the future). She says, "oh I need my bag a few rows back." You say "oh, ok" and step into the row for a moment to let her go behind you. Then you step out and continue off the plane. It takes 3 seconds of your time. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Person in row 7 needs to wait until they can get to their bag

Why?

Do you never fly? Because getting your bag from a few rows back is very difficult. You need to hedge back row by row when there is a gap to get there. Lifting a suitcase down and passing it three rows up sounds nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

The people who are sitting in the row where her luggage is know the FA had to place her bag there. They know it isn’t theirs. They know which bag she is probably referring to.
So she, or you, ask the people in that row if they wouldn’t mind passing it up.

If it’s too big and heavy to pass up then I would let her squeeze in it to get it.

This is what has happened on flights I am on. Just try to be thoughtful and kind. How can you be helpful instead of constantly judging other people’s behavior?

No. I'm not taking down someone else's bag out of the overhead and passing it around the plane. If you insist on carrying on and don't pay for a group where you will get the space above or near your seat, then you can wait a few minutes to move backwards to take your bag down. If you're unwilling to do that, don't carry on a bag or pay for an early boarding group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Person in row 7 needs to wait until they can get to their bag

Why?

Do you never fly? Because getting your bag from a few rows back is very difficult. You need to hedge back row by row when there is a gap to get there. Lifting a suitcase down and passing it three rows up sounds nuts.

I fly a lot. But mostly Air Canada because now I live in Toronto. It’s pretty normal to pass someone’s bag to them, move aside for someone, generally be patient.
Sometimes I fly United to US and Europe if the fare is better. So then I’m flying with more Americans. It’s a very different experience...people are more impatient and irritable, and their BMI is obviously higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

She was upset, but you and others still got to move forward. Yes? So…and what? You can’t control the feelings and expectations and others. Her “upset” did not prevent you and others from deplaning. What are you looking for here, for strangers to tell you how to control the feelings of other strangers?

I’m asking if I should have sat down and let her try to pass a few rows down the aisle or if I was correct in moving forward.

She said some pretty unkind things to me as I moved on, and she was still fussing about it (and me personally) in baggage claim. (Along the lines of my “privilege” and the fact that we both ended up at baggage claim waiting.)

My thinking was this: even if I sit down and let her pass, she would then need to convince 3+ aisles behind us to sit still and let her grab her bag. Fat chance that would happen.

Why wouldn't you just step to the side a bit and let her squeeze behind you, then forget about her? She can navigate beyond that...or not.

This is exactly what you should do (if it happens in the future). She says, "oh I need my bag a few rows back." You say "oh, ok" and step into the row for a moment to let her go behind you. Then you step out and continue off the plane. It takes 3 seconds of your time. Problem solved.

There was no row to step into since the large man who had been in the middle seat next to me had already stood up in front of my my aisle seat, taken down his carryon and placed it on my seat. Ditto for the man in the aisle seat on the other side. Picture wall to wall people standing with luggage or trying to grab their luggage. And her bag was likely more than 3 rows behind. We had the attention of one person a few people back, but the luggage wasn’t in the overhead bin near them. That’s when we collectively realized she didn’t actually remember where it was and it was likely farther back. Impossible to get tons of people organized to help or move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hate the people who can’t wait their turn. The people in front of you need to get off the plane too. I standup right away to prevent people in the back from rushing the aisles. So rude. Why do you think you’re time is more important than someone else’s?

Give people the benefit of the doubt. You don't know what is up with them. The one time that I pushed my way to the front and out of the plane, it was because I had a bathroom emergency. It was push my way out and and find a bathroom, or have explosive diarrhea in the middle of a crowded plane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, not talking about pushing. That is rude. I am talking about the bozo from Row 4 clogging the aisle so he can feel important and polite. Might be polite to people in front but is very rude to people behind.

You need to pay more to sit closer to the front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***What do you do in this scenario?

You are in the aisle seat in row 8. You stood up in the aisle and are patiently waiting with your small carry on (which you kept under your seat).

Everyone in front starts exiting and you move forward — and then the woman in the aisle seat ahead of you jumps up and steps out into the aisle.

Naturally, you pause.

But then she says, “My carryon is in the overhead a few rows back.”

Her expectation was that everyone already standing in the aisle for 3+ rows would sit down so she could walk back and grab it.

I said, “Sorry, I think you’re going to need to wait until there’s space for you to walk back and grab it.”

She was clearly upset.

I walked by to exit as did everyone behind me.

She was upset, but you and others still got to move forward. Yes? So…and what? You can’t control the feelings and expectations and others. Her “upset” did not prevent you and others from deplaning. What are you looking for here, for strangers to tell you how to control the feelings of other strangers?

I’m asking if I should have sat down and let her try to pass a few rows down the aisle or if I was correct in moving forward.

She said some pretty unkind things to me as I moved on, and she was still fussing about it (and me personally) in baggage claim. (Along the lines of my “privilege” and the fact that we both ended up at baggage claim waiting.)

My thinking was this: even if I sit down and let her pass, she would then need to convince 3+ aisles behind us to sit still and let her grab her bag. Fat chance that would happen.

Why wouldn't you just step to the side a bit and let her squeeze behind you, then forget about her? She can navigate beyond that...or not.

This is exactly what you should do (if it happens in the future). She says, "oh I need my bag a few rows back." You say "oh, ok" and step into the row for a moment to let her go behind you. Then you step out and continue off the plane. It takes 3 seconds of your time. Problem solved.

There was no row to step into since the large man who had been in the middle seat next to me had already stood up in front of my my aisle seat, taken down his carryon and placed it on my seat. Ditto for the man in the aisle seat on the other side. Picture wall to wall people standing with luggage or trying to grab their luggage. And her bag was likely more than 3 rows behind. We had the attention of one person a few people back, but the luggage wasn’t in the overhead bin near them. That’s when we collectively realized she didn’t actually remember where it was and it was likely farther back. Impossible to get tons of people organized to help or move.

So you gesture to her row where there is space and say "here, let me just scoot in up here so that you can pass by me."