Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Horseback riding, expensive and not sustainable as a hobby.

Why? I’m an adult who rides as a hobby.

Use your brain

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Regret: Girl Scouts (leader was racist and didn't like me and told her DD to stop being friends with mine), track and field (bad for knees), school volleyball (bullying)

In the middle: Gymnastics (fun but it's such a high injury sport), American Heritage Girls (my kids loved it but it was expensive), out-of-school theater (the first theater program had lots of favoritism in casting and they chose a play where the main character had 85% of the lines, second program wasn't run well and was too far away but the actual performance was good), rec volleyball (schedule was hard for us)

Don't regret: Rec soccer, dance, school theater, all school clubs

I am sorry your GS leader was racist. This literally goes against all Girl Scout values.
It's a highly leader-dependent activity.
To those interested in Girl Scouting - it can be fantastic. But also not. Worth giving a try. Or always remember - you can start your own troop!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Would you mind revealing the names of some of the toxic theater programs? I worry about this too for my theater-obsessed kid and don't really know which ones are good and which ones are awful.

We don’t live in the area so my answers wouldn’t be helpful. You’ll know pretty quickly if a program
is a good fit or not. I do wish we had avoided some of the private programs altogether and stuck with more community and school programs. I’m sure there are good, educational and reasonably priced private theater programs out there, but unfortunately we didn’t really come across them in our time participating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom's answer would be horseback riding -- expensive, time-consuming, cultlike, and injuries can be horrifying.

I can see all of these, but I’m so curious about cult-like. Can you explain? My kids have no interest, but when I was a kid I really wanted to try but it wasn’t in our budget.

People who can discuss no other subject besides horses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Would you mind revealing the names of some of the toxic theater programs? I worry about this too for my theater-obsessed kid and don't really know which ones are good and which ones are awful.

We don’t live in the area so my answers wouldn’t be helpful. You’ll know pretty quickly if a program
is a good fit or not. I do wish we had avoided some of the private programs altogether and stuck with more community and school programs. I’m sure there are good, educational and reasonably priced private theater programs out there, but unfortunately we didn’t really come across them in our time participating.

I have kid who love theater in the DMV. We've had excellent luck with the community-based options (nonprofit) and school productions. Theater that is required pay to play and bills itself as providing any kind of professional level gateway or readiness is probably what this PP is talking about.

My teen participates in two sports (one at a club level and one at a rec level) and the theater crowd is by far the best in every way possible. Great kids, great parents, positive experiences. Not that sports hasn't had its positives. It has. But the theater crowd is just genuinely diverse (not talking in a race way exclusively although that is true too...diverse in social status, LGBTQ, income level, all of it) and inclusive and welcoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Would you mind revealing the names of some of the toxic theater programs? I worry about this too for my theater-obsessed kid and don't really know which ones are good and which ones are awful.

We don’t live in the area so my answers wouldn’t be helpful. You’ll know pretty quickly if a program
is a good fit or not. I do wish we had avoided some of the private programs altogether and stuck with more community and school programs. I’m sure there are good, educational and reasonably priced private theater programs out there, but unfortunately we didn’t really come across them in our time participating.

I have kid who love theater in the DMV. We've had excellent luck with the community-based options (nonprofit) and school productions. Theater that is required pay to play and bills itself as providing any kind of professional level gateway or readiness is probably what this PP is talking about.

My teen participates in two sports (one at a club level and one at a rec level) and the theater crowd is by far the best in every way possible. Great kids, great parents, positive experiences. Not that sports hasn't had its positives. It has. But the theater crowd is just genuinely diverse (not talking in a race way exclusively although that is true too...diverse in social status, LGBTQ, income level, all of it) and inclusive and welcoming.

+1. My DD is a theater nerd and has had so much fun doing community and school productions. She's become more confident, talented, and social. Highly recommend.

[Anonymous]

Odyssey of the Mind. Complete waste of time. DC's team did absolutely nothing to prepare and goofed off; the parent coaches were absolutely awful and didn't encourage them, preferring to use the kids as free babysitting for their younger children, since prep was done in the coach's home. I'm sure some kids get something out of it, but our experience was off-putting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Horseback riding, expensive and not sustainable as a hobby.

Why? I’m an adult who rides as a hobby.

Use your brain

Horseback riding is a very expensive hobby. In most places you have to own a horse, board it or buy land, and have all the expensive horse riding equipment.

There are public stables in MoCo and a few other places, but it's hard to be sustainable unless your family has their own farm and lots of cash or time to take care of horses.

It's not something great to get hooked on unless you plan on making $$$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Odyssey of the Mind. Complete waste of time. DC's team did absolutely nothing to prepare and goofed off; the parent coaches were absolutely awful and didn't encourage them, preferring to use the kids as free babysitting for their younger children, since prep was done in the coach's home. I'm sure some kids get something out of it, but our experience was off-putting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You can do dance lessons at the neighborhood studio down the street, and be active, learn some grace and musicality, and have fun with neighborhood friends. You can play rec soccer from age 3 to high school. You can take gymnastics classes and never go to a competition.

I consider this a bigger waste than the more competitive and expensive activities. If you’re going to have your kid downs so much time doing something at least let them learn what excellence is and what it takes to become good at something instead of spending a lot of time on something mediocre or low quality. What a waste of time.

Ok so I on one hand disagree completely - don’t force your kid to be competitive in anything,

However I was (am) super competitive - rec level, just a couple days a week with kids who didn’t care as much was TORTURE , middle and high school (tennis) school teams I felt like I was the coach, whereas the competitive club scene kicked my butt and I wanted to be there every day all day

Parents there can take two views:
- college scholarship is the goal
- happiness and fulfillment is the goal

The former goal is where you really mess your kid up (I have a cousin who continues in her late 30s traumatized by her dad’s disappointment)
The latter is where you win as a parent - as long as you didn’t bet their college money on this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You can do dance lessons at the neighborhood studio down the street, and be active, learn some grace and musicality, and have fun with neighborhood friends. You can play rec soccer from age 3 to high school. You can take gymnastics classes and never go to a competition.

I consider this a bigger waste than the more competitive and expensive activities. If you’re going to have your kid downs so much time doing something at least let them learn what excellence is and what it takes to become good at something instead of spending a lot of time on something mediocre or low quality. What a waste of time.

And this sums up the mentality in this area. It is a "waste of time" for a child to simply learn a skill and enjoy doing it? It isn't worth doing unless they can learn to beat other people at it? Seriously, do you even hear yourself?

Has nothing to do with beating other people. It’s about knowing what excellence is and the character required to practice and ultimately perform at that level. It’s not necessarily a requirement that they succeed at being the best. It’s more about what they learn in the process. Aim for the stars, you may not get there but you won’t wind up a handful of dust either. “We choose to go to the moon in this decade, of this century, because that goal will serve to organize the best of our abilities.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Odyssey of the Mind. Complete waste of time. DC's team did absolutely nothing to prepare and goofed off; the parent coaches were absolutely awful and didn't encourage them, preferring to use the kids as free babysitting for their younger children, since prep was done in the coach's home. I'm sure some kids get something out of it, but our experience was off-putting.

My kid just signed up for this I don’t really get what it is. It sounds dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Odyssey of the Mind. Complete waste of time. DC's team did absolutely nothing to prepare and goofed off; the parent coaches were absolutely awful and didn't encourage them, preferring to use the kids as free babysitting for their younger children, since prep was done in the coach's home. I'm sure some kids get something out of it, but our experience was off-putting.

My kid just signed up for this I don’t really get what it is. It sounds dumb.

Just to counter this, one of my now-adult nieces had a great experience doing OM (and her siblings had great experiences in all sorts of theater programs).

This thread has been interesting, showing how much people’s experiences can vary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Horseback riding, expensive and not sustainable as a hobby.

Why? I’m an adult who rides as a hobby.

Use your brain

Horseback riding is a very expensive hobby. In most places you have to own a horse, board it or buy land, and have all the expensive horse riding equipment.

There are public stables in MoCo and a few other places, but it's hard to be sustainable unless your family has their own farm and lots of cash or time to take care of horses.

It's not something great to get hooked on unless you plan on making $$$$.

There’s no doubt riding is expensive but it’s also something you can do as a recreational hobby well into late age. We usually go on horseback riding excursions when we travel as a family (we’ve done this it’s out west to a national park, in Hawaii and on various beaches from the Caribbean to south east US) and it’s nice that my kids are confident and comfortable around horses already and know the basics, for safety reasons. We are fortunate enough to live near county stables so low cost trail rides are a weekend option for us as well.

I’m really glad we pursued foundational lessons but I’m glad the kids quit when they were at the ages when jumping and other more advanced skills were taught, because I know how dangerous equestrian sports can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Odyssey of the Mind. Complete waste of time. DC's team did absolutely nothing to prepare and goofed off; the parent coaches were absolutely awful and didn't encourage them, preferring to use the kids as free babysitting for their younger children, since prep was done in the coach's home. I'm sure some kids get something out of it, but our experience was off-putting.

My kid just signed up for this I don’t really get what it is. It sounds dumb.

It's a good program-if you have the right coaches. The kids are in teams and have to solve brainteasers as well as a bigger problem which they will solve at compeition by performing a skit. It really depends on if the parent coaches and kids are good. My DD did it for a bit but the team wasn't great and just wasn't the right fit for her.