A plea: please stop sending your sick kids to school

[Anonymous]

I'll reiterate that this thread, at base, is just about shaming parents.

[Anonymous]

It's like teachers just woke up two years ago and realized that kids are snotty nosed petri dishes. Yes, viruses go around schools in the winter. No, you can't keep a child home until the last lingering symptom is gone.
No, you can't predict when a fussy/tired kid will spike a fever an hour later. It's why it's called a "spike" and not a slow increase.
No, you don't get unlimited amounts of leave as a working parent to stay home with kids who are fussy/tired or who are still blowing their nose once a day after 2 weeks home with the flu.

Winter is the worst but it's a daycare or school has ALWAYS been a cesspool of germs. You can't protect them from every sniffle.

The average 8 year old catches 5-6 colds in a year. You cannot stay home for a week for each cold. It may mean some tissues and a tylenol in the morning. Everyone needs extra vitamin C and some elderberry extract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's like teachers just woke up two years ago and realized that kids are snotty nosed petri dishes. Yes, viruses go around schools in the winter. No, you can't keep a child home until the last lingering symptom is gone.
No, you can't predict when a fussy/tired kid will spike a fever an hour later. It's why it's called a "spike" and not a slow increase.
No, you don't get unlimited amounts of leave as a working parent to stay home with kids who are fussy/tired or who are still blowing their nose once a day after 2 weeks home with the flu.

Winter is the worst but it's a daycare or school has ALWAYS been a cesspool of germs. You can't protect them from every sniffle.

The average 8 year old catches 5-6 colds in a year. You cannot stay home for a week for each cold. It may mean some tissues and a tylenol in the morning. Everyone needs extra vitamin C and some elderberry extract.

As a working parent, you need a back up child care plan. Its not the school or day care's responsibility. Its really crummy you just drug your kid and send them to school infecting others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll reiterate that this thread, at base, is just about shaming parents.

No, parents asking other parents to keep their sick kids home and not infect the rest of us. How is that unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll reiterate that this thread, at base, is just about shaming parents.

No, parents asking other parents to keep their sick kids home and not infect the rest of us. How is that unreasonable?

Because read the thread.

As has been reiterated a number of times in this thread, kids have colds, etc. all of the time during this season. They are not avoidable. Making parents take 8 weeks of work off (e.g., one week for each cold) is obviously not something that's going to happen. Because parents need to work to support their children. (Sidenote: there was also recently a thread on here shaming people for trying to get sick care sitters. That's the back-up for single parents.)

So instead of recognizing these very basic truths (colds exist + people have to work), people like yourself come on here and harp about those parents hating their kids, having no community feeling, not caring about teachers. People are literally saying that parents who send sick-with-colds kids to school should feel "shame."

All these types of threads do is try to shame parents to behave differently. Ergo, it's just about shaming parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll reiterate that this thread, at base, is just about shaming parents.

No, parents asking other parents to keep their sick kids home and not infect the rest of us. How is that unreasonable?

Because read the thread.

As has been reiterated a number of times in this thread, kids have colds, etc. all of the time during this season. They are not avoidable. Making parents take 8 weeks of work off (e.g., one week for each cold) is obviously not something that's going to happen. Because parents need to work to support their children. (Sidenote: there was also recently a thread on here shaming people for trying to get sick care sitters. That's the back-up for single parents.)

So instead of recognizing these very basic truths (colds exist + people have to work), people like yourself come on here and harp about those parents hating their kids, having no community feeling, not caring about teachers. People are literally saying that parents who send sick-with-colds kids to school should feel "shame."

All these types of threads do is try to shame parents to behave differently. Ergo, it's just about shaming parents.

+1

In addition to parents needing to work, kids need to go to school to, you know, learn things. Not being physically at school isn’t a winning educational strategy. And yes, education does matter, and, no, kids are not that resilient.

[Anonymous]

wait, no, it's in this very thread that people are telling parents they should feel ashamed for getting a sitter for their sick kids. Because that doesn't stop the spread, you know. Of colds. Because that's possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's like teachers just woke up two years ago and realized that kids are snotty nosed petri dishes. Yes, viruses go around schools in the winter. No, you can't keep a child home until the last lingering symptom is gone.
No, you can't predict when a fussy/tired kid will spike a fever an hour later. It's why it's called a "spike" and not a slow increase.
No, you don't get unlimited amounts of leave as a working parent to stay home with kids who are fussy/tired or who are still blowing their nose once a day after 2 weeks home with the flu.

Winter is the worst but it's a daycare or school has ALWAYS been a cesspool of germs. You can't protect them from every sniffle.

The average 8 year old catches 5-6 colds in a year. You cannot stay home for a week for each cold. It may mean some tissues and a tylenol in the morning. Everyone needs extra vitamin C and some elderberry extract.

As a working parent, you need a back up child care plan. Its not the school or day care's responsibility. Its really crummy you just drug your kid and send them to school infecting others.

No one is sending contagious Layla to school. No one needs a backup sitter for the third week of a lingering cough or slightly runny nose. As said before, you can't tell if a fussy/tired is going to turn into a fever every time and kids get fussy/tired many more times from just being tired and fussy.

We also aren't locking said kids away all winter and will be at church, shopping, the bounce zone and the troop event. If you seriously cannot handle being around kids who are recovering from illnesses but aren't contagious at this point, you need to set your life up to homeschool and stay inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's like teachers just woke up two years ago and realized that kids are snotty nosed petri dishes. Yes, viruses go around schools in the winter. No, you can't keep a child home until the last lingering symptom is gone.
No, you can't predict when a fussy/tired kid will spike a fever an hour later. It's why it's called a "spike" and not a slow increase.
No, you don't get unlimited amounts of leave as a working parent to stay home with kids who are fussy/tired or who are still blowing their nose once a day after 2 weeks home with the flu.

Winter is the worst but it's a daycare or school has ALWAYS been a cesspool of germs. You can't protect them from every sniffle.

The average 8 year old catches 5-6 colds in a year. You cannot stay home for a week for each cold. It may mean some tissues and a tylenol in the morning. Everyone needs extra vitamin C and some elderberry extract.

As a working parent, you need a back up child care plan. Its not the school or day care's responsibility. Its really crummy you just drug your kid and send them to school infecting others.

No one is sending contagious Layla to school. No one needs a backup sitter for the third week of a lingering cough or slightly runny nose. As said before, you can't tell if a fussy/tired is going to turn into a fever every time and kids get fussy/tired many more times from just being tired and fussy.

We also aren't locking said kids away all winter and will be at church, shopping, the bounce zone and the troop event. If you seriously cannot handle being around kids who are recovering from illnesses but aren't contagious at this point, you need to set your life up to homeschool and stay inside.

Lingering is different than contagious and yes, people are. If you think they aren't, then why are we having huge spread right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wait, no, it's in this very thread that people are telling parents they should feel ashamed for getting a sitter for their sick kids. Because that doesn't stop the spread, you know. Of colds. Because that's possible.

You keep sick kids at home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait, no, it's in this very thread that people are telling parents they should feel ashamed for getting a sitter for their sick kids. Because that doesn't stop the spread, you know. Of colds. Because that's possible.

You keep sick kids at home!

LOL yes your exclamation point is working!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kid has tested negative for everything and still is coughing three weeks in; this is lifetime pattern for him due to asthma. How long should I keep him out of school?

You don't actually know everything.

Bullshit. He has SOMETHING, just not what he's been tested for. Thanks for passing whatever it is along to others.

NP. Sorry, I’m not keeping my kid home for three weeks for a lingering cough you psycho.

We're not saying to keep your kid home for 3 weeks. But 3 days. That's doable. There are so many parents who send their poor suffering kids to school when they're clearly ill.

Or scream at me and demand I send their child (who “wasn’t sick this morning!”) back to class despite the fact that the child has a concerning, phlegmy barking cough. Then to really “show me” takes over two hours to collect her child from the clinic.

I’ve had parents tell me that they can’t come to school to pick up because of work, then situation changes for the worst and child goes to the ER with an administrator.

So we are seeing this right now. As a secretary, I have had 7 students rushed to the ER for breathing issues, non-stop projectile vomiting and fevers that soar very high after the Tylenol wears off. These parents were called repeatedly and either did not answer or answered and said they could not collect their child and gave consent for them to be taken to an urgent care or ER. Shame!

I mean, this sounds like an issue about poverty, single-parenthood, lack of protections for people who work, etc. Morality (and shame) shouldn't be involved.

Yes, school staff should solve all social problems and do it with a smile while covering 3 peoples jobs!

It’s just the way it is!

DP and no one said that. But the parents pumping their kids with Tylenol and sending them to school very sick and then refusing to come get them? Are not people who will be helped by a shaming post on DCUM. They need other social supports like more sick leave and worker protections, sick day care for their kids provided by the public, parenting and mental health support, etc. They won’t read these posts and feel embarrassed and then stop doing this. These are acts of desperation by people who have very limited choices in life.

I’m not the PP you are replying to. Some of the parents fall into this category. However I have worked in an elementary in a high income area for a long time. My experience has been that it is more often the highly paid professionals that refuse to come get their kids or medicate and send them to school. The parents working hourly jobs more often keep the kids home or get family to look after them once they’re well enough.

Somehow I doubt you know what's going on with every parent. And I do think that you are just generally venting your hatred of parents on an anonymous forum.

I’m a DP.

I have over 20 years of experience walking very sick kids to the nurse, hoping they’ll be sent home. I’ve sat with these sick students as they cry, saying their parents are aware they are sick but sent them anyway. I’ve sat with them as they plead to be picked up because their temp is now 102 since the medicine wore off, only to be told to stay in school. I’ve checked on these kids as they remain at the nurse’s station for the remainder of the day, too ill to go to class. This doesn’t happen once a year. This happens MANY TIMES.

This is obviously not a criticism of every parent, although I’m sure some DCUMer will take it that way. This is a criticism of those who willingly do this to their children, not those who have no alternative.

And the conclusion from other posters is that these parents "hate their children" (see multiple posts in this thread). It seems difficult to imagine for most people on this thread that the circumstance that lead to this heart-rendering circumstance is not "parents hate their children" or "parents don't care" or some other derogatory thing. It is that those parents have to be at work. People can have empathy or they can decide ill-intent is at play. They can reserve judgement for a situation that likely do not understand.

I. Don't. Care. You're putting my kid's health, my ability to work at risk. And I understand: I grew up very poor. My parents did not send me to school sick. It's a shi--y and selfish thing to do.

NP and I know this won’t be taken well but I mean this in all sincerity- I think you should consider a job that isn’t public facing. People go out sick all the time. It might put you more at peace.

Since there is a school staffing shortage and you don’t mind sick kids, how about you do the job?

PP and I knew this would be met with snark. I am a teacher with about as much experience as you. I go to work everyday and do my job. Without complaining about kids with colds. It comes with the territory.

[Anonymous]

No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

+1
I’m a teacher who posted upthread. Most teachers posting here aren’t asking you to keep recovering kids home. That’s unreasonable.

We’re asking you to keep VERY SICK kids home. Contrary to what some want to believe, this happens regularly. I have to stop class, find a colleague to cover, walk your child to the nurse, and sit with them as they call home. The nurse asks if they took medicine, and the answer is almost always yes. The kids are usually very truthful, admitting to waking up with a fever and taking medicine to coax it down. We hear it all. I then go back to my class full of students who lost instruction time. About 1/3 of the time, the sick child doesn’t get picked up.

I’ve already had to take 5 of my own sick days this year because of Covid and the flu. Yes, I know my job puts me at risk of getting sick. I can’t help but wonder, however, if I could stay a bit healthier if those who can keep sick kids home WOULD keep sick kids home. I have my own reasons to stay healthy, the top one being I hate leaving my class with subs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

+1
I’m a teacher who posted upthread. Most teachers posting here aren’t asking you to keep recovering kids home. That’s unreasonable.

We’re asking you to keep VERY SICK kids home. Contrary to what some want to believe, this happens regularly. I have to stop class, find a colleague to cover, walk your child to the nurse, and sit with them as they call home. The nurse asks if they took medicine, and the answer is almost always yes. The kids are usually very truthful, admitting to waking up with a fever and taking medicine to coax it down. We hear it all. I then go back to my class full of students who lost instruction time. About 1/3 of the time, the sick child doesn’t get picked up.

I’ve already had to take 5 of my own sick days this year because of Covid and the flu. Yes, I know my job puts me at risk of getting sick. I can’t help but wonder, however, if I could stay a bit healthier if those who can keep sick kids home WOULD keep sick kids home. I have my own reasons to stay healthy, the top one being I hate leaving my class with subs.

I’m not sure why you’re fixated on asking kids if they took medication. Without them being able to tell you *what* they took, you don’t really learn anything meaningful from that question. I don’t give my kids acetaminophen before school, but as has been discussed, symptoms like cough and congestion linger. It’s not uncommon for me to give them cough medicine and an antihistamine for a while as they’re recovering from their lingering symptoms.

I'm pretty sure a couple weeks ago my kids teacher got freaked out after he was gone for a couple days, and presumably said he took medicine. They called me in to pick him up, claiming he had a fever. But he definitely didn't have any sort of elevated temperature, nor was he unusually fatigued.