A plea: please stop sending your sick kids to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll reiterate that this thread, at base, is just about shaming parents.

No, parents asking other parents to keep their sick kids home and not infect the rest of us. How is that unreasonable?

Because read the thread.

As has been reiterated a number of times in this thread, kids have colds, etc. all of the time during this season. They are not avoidable. Making parents take 8 weeks of work off (e.g., one week for each cold) is obviously not something that's going to happen. Because parents need to work to support their children. (Sidenote: there was also recently a thread on here shaming people for trying to get sick care sitters. That's the back-up for single parents.)

So instead of recognizing these very basic truths (colds exist + people have to work), people like yourself come on here and harp about those parents hating their kids, having no community feeling, not caring about teachers. People are literally saying that parents who send sick-with-colds kids to school should feel "shame."

All these types of threads do is try to shame parents to behave differently. Ergo, it's just about shaming parents.

The colds keep circulating because parents like you keep sending their kids in sick, which punishes the rest of us who keep our kids home. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

+1
I’m a teacher who posted upthread. Most teachers posting here aren’t asking you to keep recovering kids home. That’s unreasonable.

We’re asking you to keep VERY SICK kids home. Contrary to what some want to believe, this happens regularly. I have to stop class, find a colleague to cover, walk your child to the nurse, and sit with them as they call home. The nurse asks if they took medicine, and the answer is almost always yes. The kids are usually very truthful, admitting to waking up with a fever and taking medicine to coax it down. We hear it all. I then go back to my class full of students who lost instruction time. About 1/3 of the time, the sick child doesn’t get picked up.

I’ve already had to take 5 of my own sick days this year because of Covid and the flu. Yes, I know my job puts me at risk of getting sick. I can’t help but wonder, however, if I could stay a bit healthier if those who can keep sick kids home WOULD keep sick kids home. I have my own reasons to stay healthy, the top one being I hate leaving my class with subs.

I’m not sure why you’re fixated on asking kids if they took medication. Without them being able to tell you *what* they took, you don’t really learn anything meaningful from that question. I don’t give my kids acetaminophen before school, but as has been discussed, symptoms like cough and congestion linger. It’s not uncommon for me to give them cough medicine and an antihistamine for a while as they’re recovering from their lingering symptoms.

I'm pretty sure a couple weeks ago my kids teacher got freaked out after he was gone for a couple days, and presumably said he took medicine. They called me in to pick him up, claiming he had a fever. But he definitely didn't have any sort of elevated temperature, nor was he unusually fatigued.

I don’t ask these questions. The nurse does, and it is completely appropriate for her to do so. I also watch her take temps. I suspect the thermometer isn’t lying.

Perhaps you aren’t the parent sending in the feverish kid then? My statement above is likely not describing you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

Why would the nurse send a very sick kid back to class? Why not let them lay down and nap in the nurse’s office?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

People are exactly doing this by yelling "Keep sick kids at home!" and complaining about not ending COLDS by not keeping their kids home.

It's tiring, shaming, and unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll reiterate that this thread, at base, is just about shaming parents.

No, parents asking other parents to keep their sick kids home and not infect the rest of us. How is that unreasonable?

Because read the thread.

As has been reiterated a number of times in this thread, kids have colds, etc. all of the time during this season. They are not avoidable. Making parents take 8 weeks of work off (e.g., one week for each cold) is obviously not something that's going to happen. Because parents need to work to support their children. (Sidenote: there was also recently a thread on here shaming people for trying to get sick care sitters. That's the back-up for single parents.)

So instead of recognizing these very basic truths (colds exist + people have to work), people like yourself come on here and harp about those parents hating their kids, having no community feeling, not caring about teachers. People are literally saying that parents who send sick-with-colds kids to school should feel "shame."

All these types of threads do is try to shame parents to behave differently. Ergo, it's just about shaming parents.

The colds keep circulating because parents like you keep sending their kids in sick, which punishes the rest of us who keep our kids home. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I have to think at this stage you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

Why would the nurse send a very sick kid back to class? Why not let them lay down and nap in the nurse’s office?

It’s lie down.

The clinics aren’t nap rooms, lactation rooms, safe spaces or a place to go when you’re having a rough day and want to skip part of a class.

The Nurse’s Office that most of you are picturing generally has been carved up and remodeled and renovated into a space not much bigger than a CVS Minute Clinic. Add to that an average of 30 students traipsing through the doors. Sure, some just need a band aid but there are students with fevers, vomiting, lice, diarrhea, etc. Those students need to be separated and have access to a bathroom while they wait for a parent. Then there are students who receive their daily meds from the clinic.

Do you want your otherwise healthy student coming in and resting next to a student who just vomited in the shared clinic bathroom?

Since Covid, we strictly limit “rest” (and similar requests). When I tell students (without a fever or any other complaints) that I don’t allow naps, most all leave or ask for a pass to a counselor’s office. Most go right back to class.

[Anonymous]

Before Covid, when people sent their sick kids to school, it was mostly after exhausting other alternatives and with a lot of chagrin. They knew that it was hard on their child and unfair to classmates and the teacher. My SIL was a school nurse for almost thirty years. She worked in a high FARMs district where parents couldn’t afford to miss a shift to stay home with a feverish child so they would dose them up with Tylenol and pray for the best. She knew to scoop up those kids the teachers identified as ill and keep them in her office until dismissal to try to halt the sickness spreading through the entire school.

Post-pandemic, so many parents have a politically-related pride in sending their sick kids to school. It’s insane because not only are they potentially infecting others, but they are forcing their own sick kid to leave home and sit in school all day. I’m middle aged now with teens and older, but I recall my own childhood colds and virus and my children’s. You stayed home, cuddled with a caretaker, napped and watched tv or a movie, had ginger ale, chicken soup, and crackers. Usually, you felt better within a day or two. The one time I was feverish at school that a parent couldn’t pick me up was in HS when my mom had a mastectomy a few days before. Eventually, my 87 year old neighbor came to get me because everyone realized school is not an appropriate place for a sick child. He’d never even had kids of his own, but he got it. What has happened to these parents?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to respectfully suggest, as I have in the past, that an improved school calendar with fewer random days off might make it easier for parents to take time off to be with their sick kids. No one wants to hear that, but it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before Covid, when people sent their sick kids to school, it was mostly after exhausting other alternatives and with a lot of chagrin. They knew that it was hard on their child and unfair to classmates and the teacher. My SIL was a school nurse for almost thirty years. She worked in a high FARMs district where parents couldn’t afford to miss a shift to stay home with a feverish child so they would dose them up with Tylenol and pray for the best. She knew to scoop up those kids the teachers identified as ill and keep them in her office until dismissal to try to halt the sickness spreading through the entire school.

Post-pandemic, so many parents have a politically-related pride in sending their sick kids to school. It’s insane because not only are they potentially infecting others, but they are forcing their own sick kid to leave home and sit in school all day. I’m middle aged now with teens and older, but I recall my own childhood colds and virus and my children’s. You stayed home, cuddled with a caretaker, napped and watched tv or a movie, had ginger ale, chicken soup, and crackers. Usually, you felt better within a day or two. The one time I was feverish at school that a parent couldn’t pick me up was in HS when my mom had a mastectomy a few days before. Eventually, my 87 year old neighbor came to get me because everyone realized school is not an appropriate place for a sick child. He’d never even had kids of his own, but he got it. What has happened to these parents?

It’s interesting to me that you describe two identical situations in which parents send sick kids to school but in your pre-Covid scenario, it was done out of necessity (because they have no other choice, must go to work, can’t find backup, perhaps the child has already been home a day or two but they are out of sick leave) and in the post-Covid scenario the parents are callously forcing their sick children to go to school for “political motivations.”

What on earth? It’s the same as it ever was. Parents keep sick kids home when they can but if a cold drags on or of the kid is borderline, they might send them in sick if they really can’t afford to miss work and don’t have good backup options. It’s bizarre that parents are behaving exactly as they always have, but you no longer have any empathy for them and assume they are politically motivated in their behavior. You might want to examine your thinking there because it makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before Covid, when people sent their sick kids to school, it was mostly after exhausting other alternatives and with a lot of chagrin. They knew that it was hard on their child and unfair to classmates and the teacher. My SIL was a school nurse for almost thirty years. She worked in a high FARMs district where parents couldn’t afford to miss a shift to stay home with a feverish child so they would dose them up with Tylenol and pray for the best. She knew to scoop up those kids the teachers identified as ill and keep them in her office until dismissal to try to halt the sickness spreading through the entire school.

Post-pandemic, so many parents have a politically-related pride in sending their sick kids to school. It’s insane because not only are they potentially infecting others, but they are forcing their own sick kid to leave home and sit in school all day. I’m middle aged now with teens and older, but I recall my own childhood colds and virus and my children’s. You stayed home, cuddled with a caretaker, napped and watched tv or a movie, had ginger ale, chicken soup, and crackers. Usually, you felt better within a day or two. The one time I was feverish at school that a parent couldn’t pick me up was in HS when my mom had a mastectomy a few days before. Eventually, my 87 year old neighbor came to get me because everyone realized school is not an appropriate place for a sick child. He’d never even had kids of his own, but he got it. What has happened to these parents?

It’s interesting to me that you describe two identical situations in which parents send sick kids to school but in your pre-Covid scenario, it was done out of necessity (because they have no other choice, must go to work, can’t find backup, perhaps the child has already been home a day or two but they are out of sick leave) and in the post-Covid scenario the parents are callously forcing their sick children to go to school for “political motivations.”

What on earth? It’s the same as it ever was. Parents keep sick kids home when they can but if a cold drags on or of the kid is borderline, they might send them in sick if they really can’t afford to miss work and don’t have good backup options. It’s bizarre that parents are behaving exactly as they always have, but you no longer have any empathy for them and assume they are politically motivated in their behavior. You might want to examine your thinking there because it makes no sense.

DP. If you replace "political motivations" with the need to stay home for minor sickness outweighed by concern about how much school kids have already missed, you would be closer to the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before Covid, when people sent their sick kids to school, it was mostly after exhausting other alternatives and with a lot of chagrin. They knew that it was hard on their child and unfair to classmates and the teacher. My SIL was a school nurse for almost thirty years. She worked in a high FARMs district where parents couldn’t afford to miss a shift to stay home with a feverish child so they would dose them up with Tylenol and pray for the best. She knew to scoop up those kids the teachers identified as ill and keep them in her office until dismissal to try to halt the sickness spreading through the entire school.

Post-pandemic, so many parents have a politically-related pride in sending their sick kids to school. It’s insane because not only are they potentially infecting others, but they are forcing their own sick kid to leave home and sit in school all day. I’m middle aged now with teens and older, but I recall my own childhood colds and virus and my children’s. You stayed home, cuddled with a caretaker, napped and watched tv or a movie, had ginger ale, chicken soup, and crackers. Usually, you felt better within a day or two. The one time I was feverish at school that a parent couldn’t pick me up was in HS when my mom had a mastectomy a few days before. Eventually, my 87 year old neighbor came to get me because everyone realized school is not an appropriate place for a sick child. He’d never even had kids of his own, but he got it. What has happened to these parents?

It’s interesting to me that you describe two identical situations in which parents send sick kids to school but in your pre-Covid scenario, it was done out of necessity (because they have no other choice, must go to work, can’t find backup, perhaps the child has already been home a day or two but they are out of sick leave) and in the post-Covid scenario the parents are callously forcing their sick children to go to school for “political motivations.”

What on earth? It’s the same as it ever was. Parents keep sick kids home when they can but if a cold drags on or of the kid is borderline, they might send them in sick if they really can’t afford to miss work and don’t have good backup options. It’s bizarre that parents are behaving exactly as they always have, but you no longer have any empathy for them and assume they are politically motivated in their behavior. You might want to examine your thinking there because it makes no sense.

DP. If you replace "political motivations" with the need to stay home for minor sickness outweighed by concern about how much school kids have already missed, you would be closer to the truth.

I agree this is closer to the truth. And there’s nothing political about a parent wanting to minimize how much school their child has missed, not just from school closures but also from all the quarantines last year on top of regular absences for colds and other illnesses. Both because they worry about their kid’s education and can see they are behind, and because they may have reached the dead end of employer understanding on these issues. I know we saw a real shift last year on this point, with return to the office and just significantly less leeway on parents working a flexible schedule to keep kids home. When my family had Covid in September, my DH (who got it first, likely from his office) was basically forced to come in after 5 days even though he was still testing positive, and despite the fact that by then our kids were sick AND I had a fever of 104 and could barely move. Like they would not let him take another day of sick leave to watch the kids while I got well enough to do it. So, yeah, if our kids just have colds and aren’t lethargic or have fevers, we send them in because we need to preserve dick leave for my dire situations where we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll reiterate that this thread, at base, is just about shaming parents.

So what. Sometimes people need to be shamed when they act badly.

Reading these threads are so depressing. People don't listen to each other. A teacher wants you to keep your kids home when they are contagious. The OP clarified they were talking about just a few days, not week, but you have pages of posters droning on and on about extremes.

People are selfish and stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is talking about keeping kids with a little runny nose home. I had two students who were absolutely miserable today. Heads down on their desks, deep wet coughs that they didn’t have last week, clearly out of it. Their parents both avoided answering the school’s phone calls. The nurse put a mask on them and sent them back to class. I stayed far away from them all day, and I mask. I have two vulnerable relatives coming to my thanksgiving, and I know I’m not the only one. Their behavior is selfish. You have a busy day at work? Join the club! So do I and so do all the parents of the other kids in the class. I feel awful for the kids who are sitting in class, clearly ill, and I feel bad that the other parents aren’t witnessing this scene so they can decide to mask their own child.

People are exactly doing this by yelling "Keep sick kids at home!" and complaining about not ending COLDS by not keeping their kids home.

It's tiring, shaming, and unrealistic.

A runny nose is a cold and often contagious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before Covid, when people sent their sick kids to school, it was mostly after exhausting other alternatives and with a lot of chagrin. They knew that it was hard on their child and unfair to classmates and the teacher. My SIL was a school nurse for almost thirty years. She worked in a high FARMs district where parents couldn’t afford to miss a shift to stay home with a feverish child so they would dose them up with Tylenol and pray for the best. She knew to scoop up those kids the teachers identified as ill and keep them in her office until dismissal to try to halt the sickness spreading through the entire school.

Post-pandemic, so many parents have a politically-related pride in sending their sick kids to school. It’s insane because not only are they potentially infecting others, but they are forcing their own sick kid to leave home and sit in school all day. I’m middle aged now with teens and older, but I recall my own childhood colds and virus and my children’s. You stayed home, cuddled with a caretaker, napped and watched tv or a movie, had ginger ale, chicken soup, and crackers. Usually, you felt better within a day or two. The one time I was feverish at school that a parent couldn’t pick me up was in HS when my mom had a mastectomy a few days before. Eventually, my 87 year old neighbor came to get me because everyone realized school is not an appropriate place for a sick child. He’d never even had kids of his own, but he got it. What has happened to these parents?

It’s interesting to me that you describe two identical situations in which parents send sick kids to school but in your pre-Covid scenario, it was done out of necessity (because they have no other choice, must go to work, can’t find backup, perhaps the child has already been home a day or two but they are out of sick leave) and in the post-Covid scenario the parents are callously forcing their sick children to go to school for “political motivations.”

What on earth? It’s the same as it ever was. Parents keep sick kids home when they can but if a cold drags on or of the kid is borderline, they might send them in sick if they really can’t afford to miss work and don’t have good backup options. It’s bizarre that parents are behaving exactly as they always have, but you no longer have any empathy for them and assume they are politically motivated in their behavior. You might want to examine your thinking there because it makes no sense.

DP. If you replace "political motivations" with the need to stay home for minor sickness outweighed by concern about how much school kids have already missed, you would be closer to the truth.

I agree this is closer to the truth. And there’s nothing political about a parent wanting to minimize how much school their child has missed, not just from school closures but also from all the quarantines last year on top of regular absences for colds and other illnesses. Both because they worry about their kid’s education and can see they are behind, and because they may have reached the dead end of employer understanding on these issues. I know we saw a real shift last year on this point, with return to the office and just significantly less leeway on parents working a flexible schedule to keep kids home. When my family had Covid in September, my DH (who got it first, likely from his office) was basically forced to come in after 5 days even though he was still testing positive, and despite the fact that by then our kids were sick AND I had a fever of 104 and could barely move. Like they would not let him take another day of sick leave to watch the kids while I got well enough to do it. So, yeah, if our kids just have colds and aren’t lethargic or have fevers, we send them in because we need to preserve dick leave for my dire situations where we can.

Then you need back up child care vs being selfish and spreading it because it will eventually make it back to you. People like you are terrible. I want to send my kids in person but cannot due to my health issues and I cannot catch a cold after cold. So, you complain about caring for your kids at home a few days. I have to do it every day. So, you can get your vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before Covid, when people sent their sick kids to school, it was mostly after exhausting other alternatives and with a lot of chagrin. They knew that it was hard on their child and unfair to classmates and the teacher. My SIL was a school nurse for almost thirty years. She worked in a high FARMs district where parents couldn’t afford to miss a shift to stay home with a feverish child so they would dose them up with Tylenol and pray for the best. She knew to scoop up those kids the teachers identified as ill and keep them in her office until dismissal to try to halt the sickness spreading through the entire school.

Post-pandemic, so many parents have a politically-related pride in sending their sick kids to school. It’s insane because not only are they potentially infecting others, but they are forcing their own sick kid to leave home and sit in school all day. I’m middle aged now with teens and older, but I recall my own childhood colds and virus and my children’s. You stayed home, cuddled with a caretaker, napped and watched tv or a movie, had ginger ale, chicken soup, and crackers. Usually, you felt better within a day or two. The one time I was feverish at school that a parent couldn’t pick me up was in HS when my mom had a mastectomy a few days before. Eventually, my 87 year old neighbor came to get me because everyone realized school is not an appropriate place for a sick child. He’d never even had kids of his own, but he got it. What has happened to these parents?

It’s interesting to me that you describe two identical situations in which parents send sick kids to school but in your pre-Covid scenario, it was done out of necessity (because they have no other choice, must go to work, can’t find backup, perhaps the child has already been home a day or two but they are out of sick leave) and in the post-Covid scenario the parents are callously forcing their sick children to go to school for “political motivations.”

What on earth? It’s the same as it ever was. Parents keep sick kids home when they can but if a cold drags on or of the kid is borderline, they might send them in sick if they really can’t afford to miss work and don’t have good backup options. It’s bizarre that parents are behaving exactly as they always have, but you no longer have any empathy for them and assume they are politically motivated in their behavior. You might want to examine your thinking there because it makes no sense.

DP. If you replace "political motivations" with the need to stay home for minor sickness outweighed by concern about how much school kids have already missed, you would be closer to the truth.

I agree this is closer to the truth. And there’s nothing political about a parent wanting to minimize how much school their child has missed, not just from school closures but also from all the quarantines last year on top of regular absences for colds and other illnesses. Both because they worry about their kid’s education and can see they are behind, and because they may have reached the dead end of employer understanding on these issues. I know we saw a real shift last year on this point, with return to the office and just significantly less leeway on parents working a flexible schedule to keep kids home. When my family had Covid in September, my DH (who got it first, likely from his office) was basically forced to come in after 5 days even though he was still testing positive, and despite the fact that by then our kids were sick AND I had a fever of 104 and could barely move. Like they would not let him take another day of sick leave to watch the kids while I got well enough to do it. So, yeah, if our kids just have colds and aren’t lethargic or have fevers, we send them in because we need to preserve dick leave for my dire situations where we can.

Then you need back up child care vs being selfish and spreading it because it will eventually make it back to you. People like you are terrible. I want to send my kids in person but cannot due to my health issues and I cannot catch a cold after cold. So, you complain about caring for your kids at home a few days. I have to do it every day. So, you can get your vacations.

But your kids are thriving in virtual, so why do you care?