A plea: please stop sending your sick kids to school

[Anonymous]

Me and my kid get horrid barking coughs that stick around for a month after a respiratory illness. My other kid’s nose is runny from November to March. I can’t stay home from work that long and they can’t stay home from school that long. People are allowed to go into public with symptoms like a cough and runny nose. This used to be common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have to strongly disagree with you. Kids stay home for everything now. Kids are kids and everything hurts them too. Unless a fever or the child is visibility uncomfortable, they can power through. They can put their head on the desk if needed, have personal tissues, drink plenty of water. A cough that lasts for weeks does not mean they should stay home. Yes, I am a teacher and get sick too but guess what? That is what sick leave is for and it’s just part of the job.

Oh BS. We all know none of this is true. Why bother posting this nonsense?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately due to protestantism and capitalism, school and work are both not designed to accommodate illness. My high schooler insists on missing as little school as possible when sick because it affects her grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. There are 18 kids in the class. 2 weeks ago one child was out sick. She missed one day and returned with a cough. Parents insisted she was only coughing at school. Guess how many kids are now out sick (very sick)…13!
I have been in early childhood teaching for nearly 30 years and have never seen anything close to this.

Can you send the coughing kid home? Sincerely asking. I’m so sick of seeing visibly sick kids at drop off. There are exclusion policies but they’re not enforced.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, the parents most likely to send their sick kids to school loaded up with Tylenol are doctors and nurses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like 2 main things are contributing to posts like this.

1. People have "missed" getting illnesses from prior years, so they're "catching up". This results in more illnesses
2. People have major health anxiety around kids getting sick that didn't exist before at the same levels

We've had colds every other week since going back to school. My kids haven't developed any fevers or other symptoms besides colds & lingering coughs.

I always keep them home on day 1 in case it's developing into something worse. But when it doesn't, I definitely send them.

I'm sorry for the people who have high anxiety about health. Life must be terrible for them right now.

Please see the bolded. Kids have two year of immunity building to catch up on. This is important for the rest of their lives. We need to power through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the parents most likely to send their sick kids to school loaded up with Tylenol are doctors and nurses.

I don't know about that, but if you ask a young kid if mom/dad gave them medicine this morning, the kid will tell you the truth. And will tell you what kind of medicine. We've started doing this, because we know so many parents are lying, but their kids are much more honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I get it, you need to work. So does everyone else. The system is strained with RSV, flu, strep, and covid. Schools have so many staff members and teachers out - they're not invincible. Your kid doesn't just have a little sniffles and it's not allergies - they're hacking their lungs out, have green snot falling from their nostrils, your write angry emails when we send them to the nurse, and your kids are suffering when you send them to school. They complain their throat hurts, ear hurts, and you keep sending them back when they're still sick (and contagious). You gotta let them heal completely.

You gotta break the cycle. We all have to do it. It sucks, but keep your sick kids home from school. Their chin strap of a mask doesn't do jack shit. You gotta keep them home. Please. I beg you.

The bolded is where you are going to get the most pushback, even from parents who are very conscientious about keeping sick kids at home. The stuff that's circulating now? Kids don't "heal completely" FOR WEEKS.

OP, be specific -- are you asking parents to keep children home for 10-15 days, maybe even as much as a month, until the are 100% better, before returning to school? What are you actually asking?

Also, this is a collective action problem too. Last year I kept my kid home a ton because between Covid and just heightened fears around illness, I didn't want her at school with a cough or runny nose even if they were just residual symptoms of something I didn't believe to be contagious. I really didn't want to get anyone sick. Guess what would happen every time I finally sent her back? She'd get sick almost immediately because no one else was keeping their kid home like I was.

Keeping your kid home for everything don'ts actually "break the cycle" of contagious because no one else does it. Everyone still gets sick (including your kid), it's just that they are all in class while your kid is missing tons of school. It winds up burdening just the parents who are trying to be responsible.

So this year I'm sending her back in sooner and just accepting she'll be sniffly/coughing at school a bit. She's already missed 10+ days this year, are you really suggesting I should have kept her home more than that because of that cough she had that lingered for weeks and weeks?

I'm saying keep them home until they're obviously on a road to recovery. Because what my colleagues and I are seeing, are the SAME kids who are sick--and definitely sick. Parents yell at the nurse or teachers when they pick them up. Kid shows up to school the next day. Misses one. Comes in for 2-3. Misses another. Comes in for 3-4. Misses 1-2. It's very, very evident to us that it's a 1-step forward 1-step back situation. I KNOW it's hard to stay home from work for 3-4 days in a row to really give your child a chance to rest and recover, but this yo-yo-ing is not good for anyone, least of all your kid. No one's saying to keep your kid out for weeks because of a cold, but dear god give them a few continuous days to recover (without being at the peak of being contagious) so the cycle can slow down at least.

At our school the parents who do this are pretty obviously working jobs where staying home for 3-4 days actually is a major hardship. Especially when you remember that since their kid is sick, they probably are too. These are single parents or parents working hourly jobs where they either don't get sick leave or it can be hard to use their leave.

I know it sucks and yes, it impacts everyone -- often it's a kid like this who gets my kid sick and necessitates us keeping her home for 3-4 days which, while doable for me, is still hard. But I also recognize that these parents are not just trying to torture their sick children -- they are trying to pay the rent.

I think the solution in this situation is let the kid sit in the corner of the classroom away from other kids with a water bottle and their head down, or send them to the nurse. If the parents will pick up, great, but the reality is that we live in this stupid country where so many people live paycheck to paycheck with minimal leave. Honestly, on some level it's only fair that those of us in better economic situations have to suffer along with them. This is the world we made for ourselves.

Vote for universal health care and paid leave requirements. Vote that worker protections that will prevent people from being laid off or stealth fired for missing a week of work while their kid is sick. Vote for politicians who while adequately staff enforcement agencies to ensure that even existing protections for workers are enforced. But you can't ask someone who is barely hanging on at work to miss a full week of income, or risk losing their job. Even if it's for a child who clearly needs to be at home. We need better solutions than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the parents most likely to send their sick kids to school loaded up with Tylenol are doctors and nurses.

I don't know about that, but if you ask a young kid if mom/dad gave them medicine this morning, the kid will tell you the truth. And will tell you what kind of medicine. We've started doing this, because we know so many parents are lying, but their kids are much more honest.

Sorry but my young kid would answer yes to that question even if it had been 24 hours earlier that he had been given medicine. Kids are unreliable in that respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. There are 18 kids in the class. 2 weeks ago one child was out sick. She missed one day and returned with a cough. Parents insisted she was only coughing at school. Guess how many kids are now out sick (very sick)…13!
I have been in early childhood teaching for nearly 30 years and have never seen anything close to this.

Can you send the coughing kid home? Sincerely asking. I’m so sick of seeing visibly sick kids at drop off. There are exclusion policies but they’re not enforced.

As numerous posters have explained, a coughing child at drop off may in fact be a kid who just spent a full week at home with a cold/RSV/flu and is finally returning to school after getting 85% better. and now you want to send that kid home again.

I am very sorry for the PP teacher with 13 kids out. That's miserable. I have actually seen that before, though usually with those crazy viral stomach bugs, which usually only require a day or two at home because they burn out quick. This fall has been something else with what is going around now. I think we're all seeing some crazy absences.

But I'll tell you something else, and I'm sorry to say it -- even if that kid had stayed home more than a day, I bet the rest of your class would get it. If it's not that kid, it's a different one, or someone's sibling, or a kid with good immunity catches it and has minimal symptoms so never stays home. These kids are all getting sick this fall, there's really no avoiding it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so confusing why no one wants to be a teacher any more. So confusing!

Truly a mystery!

I’ve been on DCUM for years and these posts have always come up. Every single year without fail, with the same level of urgency as though the poster thinks their post is somehow different or new. We were having these same arguments long before covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did keep my kids home. I kept them home when they had low fevers and weren’t feeling well. Four/five/six days later, their fevers are gone and they feel back to normal, but they will have a lingering cough for at least a week, probably more. I’m not keeping them home for a non-contagious cough.

This is where we are. My daughter had something - rsv maybe starting last Wednesday. She hasn't had a fever since Friday but she has a lingering cough. She is going back to school with a mask tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the parents most likely to send their sick kids to school loaded up with Tylenol are doctors and nurses.

I don't know about that, but if you ask a young kid if mom/dad gave them medicine this morning, the kid will tell you the truth. And will tell you what kind of medicine. We've started doing this, because we know so many parents are lying, but their kids are much more honest.

Sorry but my young kid would answer yes to that question even if it had been 24 hours earlier that he had been given medicine. Kids are unreliable in that respect.

My kid regularly gives the answer that she thinks the adult is expecting or wants to hear in that situation. Not because she's a liar but because she won't remember if she got medicine or what it was (she takes allergy medication often, she doesn't understand the difference between that and a fever med, they look and taste the same, plus she's too young to have perfect recollection between today and yesterday and three days ago) and she wants to please the adult asking the question so just guesses what she hopes is the "right" answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach preschool. There are 18 kids in the class. 2 weeks ago one child was out sick. She missed one day and returned with a cough. Parents insisted she was only coughing at school. Guess how many kids are now out sick (very sick)…13!
I have been in early childhood teaching for nearly 30 years and have never seen anything close to this.

Can you send the coughing kid home? Sincerely asking. I’m so sick of seeing visibly sick kids at drop off. There are exclusion policies but they’re not enforced.

As numerous posters have explained, a coughing child at drop off may in fact be a kid who just spent a full week at home with a cold/RSV/flu and is finally returning to school after getting 85% better. and now you want to send that kid home again.

I am very sorry for the PP teacher with 13 kids out. That's miserable. I have actually seen that before, though usually with those crazy viral stomach bugs, which usually only require a day or two at home because they burn out quick. This fall has been something else with what is going around now. I think we're all seeing some crazy absences.

But I'll tell you something else, and I'm sorry to say it -- even if that kid had stayed home more than a day, I bet the rest of your class would get it. If it's not that kid, it's a different one, or someone's sibling, or a kid with good immunity catches it and has minimal symptoms so never stays home. These kids are all getting sick this fall, there's really no avoiding it.

I’m the PP. I have asthma and understand post-illness asthmatic coughs. They are very different from wet coughs and giant green boogers.

[Anonymous]

The parents that can keep their kids home, will. The parents that can’t, won’t. It’s been this way since the beginning of time. Learn to deal.