Age to leave child alone sleeping in hotel room to go downstairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bring our Ring Stick camera and do this. Our phone is set to notify us of any motion or sounds. Super easy to keep tabs and check on them while they sleep. What else are we going to do for 3-4 hours when our kid goes to bed at 6pm when we are on the West Coast?

Oh, I don’t know. Read a book, have a drink in the room, be a parent. I know, hard to fill in those hours.

Some kids won't sleep if there is light or any noise in the room. So if your kid goes to sleep at 6 or 7 pm, that means you and your partner have to sit silently in the dark until you, too go to sleep. It sucks.

Though this is why, when our kid was that age, we either did hotel suites or got Airbnbs. We only did just a regular hotel room a few times and it was miserable. One of those times (kid was around 18mo I think) we tried to just sit and read in bed until she fell asleep. Ha! The excitement of the hotel room plus having a light on meant she was absolutely bouncing off the walls. We really did have to turn off all the lights and just go to sleep at 8:30pm or she was just not going to go to sleep. But that was when we were driving cross country and had limited options for where we could stay. If we had a choice at all, we'd pick something with more than one room. Or even just a balcony or something -- just somewhere we can go and talk and have a drink or something while our kid sleeps.

But I don't think OP is talking about little kids. I don't know anyone who would leave a baby or toddler alone in a hotel room and go down to the lobby. Once our kid was 5 or 6, we just let her stay up late when we stay at hotels. We'd go out to dinner and then walk around for a bit or get dessert somewhere, and by the time we got back to the room she'd be ready to pass out and we could still stay up and talk, read, even watch TV without her waking up.

[Anonymous]

Once we had kids, we changed our vacation habits. We bought a timeshare and also starting renting cottages whenever possible.

So much more pleasant. Put the kiddos to bed, then hang out in the living room, sharing nice meals, drinking wine, etc.

We also used resort babysitters. Once the kids hit their teens, they were plenty ready to stay for a bit on their own in a hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bring our Ring Stick camera and do this. Our phone is set to notify us of any motion or sounds. Super easy to keep tabs and check on them while they sleep. What else are we going to do for 3-4 hours when our kid goes to bed at 6pm when we are on the West Coast?

Oh, I don’t know. Read a book, have a drink in the room, be a parent. I know, hard to fill in those hours.

The room needs to be pitch black for most kids to sleep, including ours. We can’t watch TV or read a book, he will be up all night.

Do parents really just sit in the room all night in the dark when kids go to bed early? Seems like lunacy, imho.

Well then that’s just the breaks. Deal with it, no one is forced to become a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something tells me that OP is probably ready for AA and not the Parent of the Year award. How could you even ask this OP?

Yes, alcohol issue came to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bring our Ring Stick camera and do this. Our phone is set to notify us of any motion or sounds. Super easy to keep tabs and check on them while they sleep. What else are we going to do for 3-4 hours when our kid goes to bed at 6pm when we are on the West Coast?

Oh, I don’t know. Read a book, have a drink in the room, be a parent. I know, hard to fill in those hours.

The room needs to be pitch black for most kids to sleep, including ours. We can’t watch TV or read a book, he will be up all night.

Do parents really just sit in the room all night in the dark when kids go to bed early? Seems like lunacy, imho.

No, we adjusted our plans and arranged for rooms with separate sleeping areas (Embassy Suites works). It costs more, but we made it work to have the option to put kid to bed and watch tv. Times when dc was young and we couldn't afford it, we got a room with a balcony or some access to outside. I think we left him alone for the first time at 15 or so...like dc in room, we're at the beach if he didn't want to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably by age 12 or 13 with DD. Of course something CAN happen. It’s not likely, but it can. It’s just the risk parents need to take to give kids more independence. It’s part of growing up (for kids) and of letting go (for parents).

+1. My kids are two years apart, and the younger (girl) is as mature of more mature than her brother. So, 12 & 14, maybe. At 13 & 15, my kids shared a hotel room two doors down from us in a safe Scandinavian city. Depends on safety of location, the kids maturity and trustworthiness, their comfort level, where we are and for how long.

There’s a method at work here. You need to send kids to college who can travel independently. For example, my kids are just shy of 18 (HS senior) and 20 (college sophomore). They managed to have the same spring breaks this year. Older kid flew to our location to meet us. Delayed plane and had to spend the night at a hotel airport and manage that situation. Kid 2 had an academic team unexpectedly make nationals and left mid vacation. Flew home, got an Uber from the airport, let herself in, spent the night and got up at 6 the next morning to leave with the team. She will share a hotel room with the other girl member. We had neighbors on call and the coach knew we were not home. But even though she is responsible and she was sure she could manage, letting her go was hard. But, she starts college in 4 months a plane ride away.

If teens can’t spend 2 hours in a hotel room with mom and dad downstairs, how do you expects to get them to the point they can adult.

And as for “ anything can happen”. Yes. It can. And nothing makes those risks more real than watching your kid get behind the wheel of a car solo. But, if you want your kids to do a thing short of a pandemic lockdown, there are risks. You can draw age appropriate boundaries and raise thoughtful, responsible kids. But some times, you have to say a prayer, let go, and live with some anxiety so your kid can grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Once we had kids, we changed our vacation habits. We bought a timeshare and also starting renting cottages whenever possible.

So much more pleasant. Put the kiddos to bed, then hang out in the living room, sharing nice meals, drinking wine, etc.

We also used resort babysitters. Once the kids hit their teens, they were plenty ready to stay for a bit on their own in a hotel room.

This makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably by age 12 or 13 with DD. Of course something CAN happen. It’s not likely, but it can. It’s just the risk parents need to take to give kids more independence. It’s part of growing up (for kids) and of letting go (for parents).

+1. My kids are two years apart, and the younger (girl) is as mature of more mature than her brother. So, 12 & 14, maybe. At 13 & 15, my kids shared a hotel room two doors down from us in a safe Scandinavian city. Depends on safety of location, the kids maturity and trustworthiness, their comfort level, where we are and for how long.

There’s a method at work here. You need to send kids to college who can travel independently. For example, my kids are just shy of 18 (HS senior) and 20 (college sophomore). They managed to have the same spring breaks this year. Older kid flew to our location to meet us. Delayed plane and had to spend the night at a hotel airport and manage that situation. Kid 2 had an academic team unexpectedly make nationals and left mid vacation. Flew home, got an Uber from the airport, let herself in, spent the night and got up at 6 the next morning to leave with the team. She will share a hotel room with the other girl member. We had neighbors on call and the coach knew we were not home. But even though she is responsible and she was sure she could manage, letting her go was hard. But, she starts college in 4 months a plane ride away.

If teens can’t spend 2 hours in a hotel room with mom and dad downstairs, how do you expects to get them to the point they can adult.

And as for “ anything can happen”. Yes. It can. And nothing makes those risks more real than watching your kid get behind the wheel of a car solo. But, if you want your kids to do a thing short of a pandemic lockdown, there are risks. You can draw age appropriate boundaries and raise thoughtful, responsible kids. But some times, you have to say a prayer, let go, and live with some anxiety so your kid can grow up.

^Another rational post and poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably by age 12 or 13 with DD. Of course something CAN happen. It’s not likely, but it can. It’s just the risk parents need to take to give kids more independence. It’s part of growing up (for kids) and of letting go (for parents).

+1. My kids are two years apart, and the younger (girl) is as mature of more mature than her brother. So, 12 & 14, maybe. At 13 & 15, my kids shared a hotel room two doors down from us in a safe Scandinavian city. Depends on safety of location, the kids maturity and trustworthiness, their comfort level, where we are and for how long.

There’s a method at work here. You need to send kids to college who can travel independently. For example, my kids are just shy of 18 (HS senior) and 20 (college sophomore). They managed to have the same spring breaks this year. Older kid flew to our location to meet us. Delayed plane and had to spend the night at a hotel airport and manage that situation. Kid 2 had an academic team unexpectedly make nationals and left mid vacation. Flew home, got an Uber from the airport, let herself in, spent the night and got up at 6 the next morning to leave with the team. She will share a hotel room with the other girl member. We had neighbors on call and the coach knew we were not home. But even though she is responsible and she was sure she could manage, letting her go was hard. But, she starts college in 4 months a plane ride away.

If teens can’t spend 2 hours in a hotel room with mom and dad downstairs, how do you expects to get them to the point they can adult.

And as for “ anything can happen”. Yes. It can. And nothing makes those risks more real than watching your kid get behind the wheel of a car solo. But, if you want your kids to do a thing short of a pandemic lockdown, there are risks. You can draw age appropriate boundaries and raise thoughtful, responsible kids. But some times, you have to say a prayer, let go, and live with some anxiety so your kid can grow up.

^Another rational post and poster.

Your quote-“if teens can’t spend 2 hours in a hotel room with mom and dad downstairs, how do you expect them to the point they can adult.”
How about if mom and dad can’t be burdened by child to stay in room or have drink brought up, how do you expect them to be parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably by age 12 or 13 with DD. Of course something CAN happen. It’s not likely, but it can. It’s just the risk parents need to take to give kids more independence. It’s part of growing up (for kids) and of letting go (for parents).

+1. My kids are two years apart, and the younger (girl) is as mature of more mature than her brother. So, 12 & 14, maybe. At 13 & 15, my kids shared a hotel room two doors down from us in a safe Scandinavian city. Depends on safety of location, the kids maturity and trustworthiness, their comfort level, where we are and for how long.

There’s a method at work here. You need to send kids to college who can travel independently. For example, my kids are just shy of 18 (HS senior) and 20 (college sophomore). They managed to have the same spring breaks this year. Older kid flew to our location to meet us. Delayed plane and had to spend the night at a hotel airport and manage that situation. Kid 2 had an academic team unexpectedly make nationals and left mid vacation. Flew home, got an Uber from the airport, let herself in, spent the night and got up at 6 the next morning to leave with the team. She will share a hotel room with the other girl member. We had neighbors on call and the coach knew we were not home. But even though she is responsible and she was sure she could manage, letting her go was hard. But, she starts college in 4 months a plane ride away.

If teens can’t spend 2 hours in a hotel room with mom and dad downstairs, how do you expects to get them to the point they can adult.

And as for “ anything can happen”. Yes. It can. And nothing makes those risks more real than watching your kid get behind the wheel of a car solo. But, if you want your kids to do a thing short of a pandemic lockdown, there are risks. You can draw age appropriate boundaries and raise thoughtful, responsible kids. But some times, you have to say a prayer, let go, and live with some anxiety so your kid can grow up.

^Another rational post and poster.

You wouldn’t know rational if it hit you in the face.

[Anonymous]

The ^ poster is pretty hell bent on getting that drink in the lounge.

[Anonymous]

Using a hotel room as a readiness check for early adulthood is kind of a stretch. And pushing way past the original question.

Op, how old are your kids? Are they independent or more like Velcro? Do you travel often enough that a hotel room is normalish for them, or is it a newer experience. Do you find them mature are trustworthy enough to leave at home alone for similar periods of time? Do they know what to do in case of emergency? Single or multiple children? Do they get along?

[Anonymous]

I can use the ^ sign too. ^^^^^^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Using a hotel room as a readiness check for early adulthood is kind of a stretch. And pushing way past the original question.

Op, how old are your kids? Are they independent or more like Velcro? Do you travel often enough that a hotel room is normalish for them, or is it a newer experience. Do you find them mature are trustworthy enough to leave at home alone for similar periods of time? Do they know what to do in case of emergency? Single or multiple children? Do they get along?

They don’t want to parent and trying to justify under the guise as it’s teaching them to be independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Using a hotel room as a readiness check for early adulthood is kind of a stretch. And pushing way past the original question.

Op, how old are your kids? Are they independent or more like Velcro? Do you travel often enough that a hotel room is normalish for them, or is it a newer experience. Do you find them mature are trustworthy enough to leave at home alone for similar periods of time? Do they know what to do in case of emergency? Single or multiple children? Do they get along?

^I do think this is a legit question, honestly.

The issue is age and personality.

Generally, I'm one of the posters who thinks upwards of 10 is fine.