What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For those of you calling me an “incel,“ my sex life is just fine, thank you very much. Actually, it’s *better* than it would be if there weren’t so many women holding out for “well-educated“ men. There is no reason for me to settle down in the DC dating market. Thanks, actually, for making my point for me - women’s unreasonable standards helps men and hurts themselves.

And to those saying that my “Ivy degree“ must be from Cornell, you are right (though it’s in STEM and not from the Agriculture school)! Sorry I didn’t go to Harvard, Princeton or Yale – I guess that means I’m not *really* “well-educated.”

So you hear that, single ladies? Make sure to avoid that successful owner of the construction business and even the Cornell engineer. Prince Charming is coming down from Cambridge for you any day now! And be sure to take all your dating advice from DCUM.

The most incel sentence yet.

[Anonymous]

Ugh the Oxbridge professor crowd, there’s some real survival of the fittest genes. Not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most kids in college today are dumb as rocks. Degrees mean nothing. I would tell any kid today to pick a trade school over some $200k debt that likely won’t amount to much. No I’m not anti university, but those videos of college kids who don’t even know proper math or geography is troubling.

You're out of your mind. College kids are much smarter than ever. Videos? You mean tik tok, the platform they use for self deprecation and hilarity. Trades are lucrative for some, and it takes discipline and smarts to get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For those of you calling me an “incel,“ my sex life is just fine, thank you very much. Actually, it’s *better* than it would be if there weren’t so many women holding out for “well-educated“ men. There is no reason for me to settle down in the DC dating market. Thanks, actually, for making my point for me - women’s unreasonable standards helps men and hurts themselves.

And to those saying that my “Ivy degree“ must be from Cornell, you are right (though it’s in STEM and not from the Agriculture school)! Sorry I didn’t go to Harvard, Princeton or Yale – I guess that means I’m not *really* “well-educated.”

So you hear that, single ladies? Make sure to avoid that successful owner of the construction business and even the Cornell engineer. Prince Charming is coming down from Cambridge for you any day now! And be sure to take all your dating advice from DCUM.

The most incel sentence yet.

Perfection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For those of you calling me an “incel,“ my sex life is just fine, thank you very much. Actually, it’s *better* than it would be if there weren’t so many women holding out for “well-educated“ men. There is no reason for me to settle down in the DC dating market. Thanks, actually, for making my point for me - women’s unreasonable standards helps men and hurts themselves.

And to those saying that my “Ivy degree“ must be from Cornell, you are right (though it’s in STEM and not from the Agriculture school)! Sorry I didn’t go to Harvard, Princeton or Yale – I guess that means I’m not *really* “well-educated.”

So you hear that, single ladies? Make sure to avoid that successful owner of the construction business and even the Cornell engineer. Prince Charming is coming down from Cambridge for you any day now! And be sure to take all your dating advice from DCUM.

Women are not hurt my refusing to marry people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because 90% of the (straight) men out there have such fragile egos that they can’t handle having an significant other who has a fancier degree than they do.


I didn’t go to an Ivy, but possibly a more “intimidating” school, and then I earned a few graduate degrees from very good schools.* SO SO many men out there with chips on their shoulders. Sometimes it doesn’t come out until later, sometimes it comes out within the first five minutes (and this is when the GUY asks where I went to school).

My husband still gets defensive and huffy about it about is the blue (although he hid it for a long time).

You can forestall all that man-baby nonsense if you just have it as a criteria…

*standard disclaimer for the fragile egos out there that I know people with similar degrees who are idiots, and plenty of very smart people without such degrees, as well as plenty of not so smart people without fancy degrees who make significantly more money than smart people with fancy degrees

I’ve never in my life known a man who cares about a woman’s degree(s). At all. It’s just not even remotely on the list for 99% of men. I’d suggest you do some introspection. You seem really bitter and want to blame it on your Masters degree from the Kennedy school? Go get some cats.

DP. And I don't know any men who don't care about education in their female partners. I literally don't know a single man married to a woman who doesn't have a college degree, e.g., and virtually all of my friends and acquaintances are married to people with a similar educational background as themselves (most have post-grad degrees). You seem to want to pretend that assortive mating doesn't exist, but it does and it's a two-way street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because 90% of the (straight) men out there have such fragile egos that they can’t handle having an significant other who has a fancier degree than they do.


I didn’t go to an Ivy, but possibly a more “intimidating” school, and then I earned a few graduate degrees from very good schools.* SO SO many men out there with chips on their shoulders. Sometimes it doesn’t come out until later, sometimes it comes out within the first five minutes (and this is when the GUY asks where I went to school).

My husband still gets defensive and huffy about it about is the blue (although he hid it for a long time).

You can forestall all that man-baby nonsense if you just have it as a criteria…

*standard disclaimer for the fragile egos out there that I know people with similar degrees who are idiots, and plenty of very smart people without such degrees, as well as plenty of not so smart people without fancy degrees who make significantly more money than smart people with fancy degrees

This was true for me and I didn’t even go to that great of a law school (bottom of top tier, you could maybe describe it). I loved it that when I met DH he was just completely impressed with me (we come from a background where not a lot of women get advanced degrees).

But he was actually less educated when I met him. I was in law school, he was in the middle of his undergrad. So while I wanted somebody who was smart and not fragile about my educational achievement, an advanced degree was not a requirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because 90% of the (straight) men out there have such fragile egos that they can’t handle having an significant other who has a fancier degree than they do.


I didn’t go to an Ivy, but possibly a more “intimidating” school, and then I earned a few graduate degrees from very good schools.* SO SO many men out there with chips on their shoulders. Sometimes it doesn’t come out until later, sometimes it comes out within the first five minutes (and this is when the GUY asks where I went to school).

My husband still gets defensive and huffy about it about is the blue (although he hid it for a long time).

You can forestall all that man-baby nonsense if you just have it as a criteria…

*standard disclaimer for the fragile egos out there that I know people with similar degrees who are idiots, and plenty of very smart people without such degrees, as well as plenty of not so smart people without fancy degrees who make significantly more money than smart people with fancy degrees

I’ve never in my life known a man who cares about a woman’s degree(s). At all. It’s just not even remotely on the list for 99% of men. I’d suggest you do some introspection. You seem really bitter and want to blame it on your Masters degree from the Kennedy school? Go get some cats.

This is so weird. Are you a man? Because most men would probably never actually admit to feeling insecure about partnering with somebody more educated or successful than they are. You only know it if you have experienced it. But I experienced it a lot. Actually some did specifically say “woah law school that’s too intimidating for me, haha” like it was a joke. He was, of course, a weirdo, but a lot of men feel the same way even if they don’t admit it to others or even themselves. I mean, why would you tell on yourself like that?

[Anonymous]

And I don't know any men who don't care about education in their female partners.

You lived a sheltered life. This is DC. No shortage of women are educated enough, are smart enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because 90% of the (straight) men out there have such fragile egos that they can’t handle having an significant other who has a fancier degree than they do.


I didn’t go to an Ivy, but possibly a more “intimidating” school, and then I earned a few graduate degrees from very good schools.* SO SO many men out there with chips on their shoulders. Sometimes it doesn’t come out until later, sometimes it comes out within the first five minutes (and this is when the GUY asks where I went to school).

My husband still gets defensive and huffy about it about is the blue (although he hid it for a long time).

You can forestall all that man-baby nonsense if you just have it as a criteria…

*standard disclaimer for the fragile egos out there that I know people with similar degrees who are idiots, and plenty of very smart people without such degrees, as well as plenty of not so smart people without fancy degrees who make significantly more money than smart people with fancy degrees

I’ve never in my life known a man who cares about a woman’s degree(s). At all. It’s just not even remotely on the list for 99% of men. I’d suggest you do some introspection. You seem really bitter and want to blame it on your Masters degree from the Kennedy school? Go get some cats.

This is so weird. Are you a man? Because most men would probably never actually admit to feeling insecure about partnering with somebody more educated or successful than they are. You only know it if you have experienced it. But I experienced it a lot. Actually some did specifically say “woah law school that’s too intimidating for me, haha” like it was a joke. He was, of course, a weirdo, but a lot of men feel the same way even if they don’t admit it to others or even themselves. I mean, why would you tell on yourself like that?

It seem you care about it but men do not care. Plenty of well educated success women have no problem dating and marrying men. Maybe it’s the way you interact with men that is the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do understand this forum does not represent all women, right? There are plenty of women out there who don't care about their partner’s level of education.

And there are women who do care because they are themselves highly educated and want to be able to relate to their partner. All the money in the world wouldn’t make a man attractive to me if he had no intellectual interests.

To each her own.

This. LT relationships are hard enough without lacking intellectual companionship.

[Anonymous]

OP here. If you want to be realistic, you pick a *couple* of must-haves. My only two criteria are physical attractiveness and a salary of maybe $70,000/year. I don’t care one iota whether she went to college. I don’t care if she’s a Democrat or a Republican. I don’t care if her career or hobbies are in areas in which I have no interest, for example if she is a vegan nutritionist or owns a ballet school.

Do you seriously not understand that if your checklist is an endless list of must-haves, that is going to be counterproductive? Do you seriously think you cannot get intellectual stimulation from someone that owns a successful construction business? Do you know how hard it is to run a business? That business owner is creating and winning bids for projects, coordinating with architects and subcontractors, maintaining a working knowledge of building codes and basic structural engineering. Do you think that business owner is incapable of doing anything when he comes home other than drinking beer and watching football? If so, then I have to agree with another poster who said you should just save yourself the time and buy some cats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If you want to be realistic, you pick a *couple* of must-haves. My only two criteria are physical attractiveness and a salary of maybe $70,000/year. I don’t care one iota whether she went to college. I don’t care if she’s a Democrat or a Republican. I don’t care if her career or hobbies are in areas in which I have no interest, for example if she is a vegan nutritionist or owns a ballet school.

Do you seriously not understand that if your checklist is an endless list of must-haves, that is going to be counterproductive? Do you seriously think you cannot get intellectual stimulation from someone that owns a successful construction business? Do you know how hard it is to run a business? That business owner is creating and winning bids for projects, coordinating with architects and subcontractors, maintaining a working knowledge of building codes and basic structural engineering. Do you think that business owner is incapable of doing anything when he comes home other than drinking beer and watching football? If so, then I have to agree with another poster who said you should just save yourself the time and buy some cats.

More importantly, do you ask too many rhetorical questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If you want to be realistic, you pick a *couple* of must-haves. My only two criteria are physical attractiveness and a salary of maybe $70,000/year. I don’t care one iota whether she went to college. I don’t care if she’s a Democrat or a Republican. I don’t care if her career or hobbies are in areas in which I have no interest, for example if she is a vegan nutritionist or owns a ballet school.

Do you seriously not understand that if your checklist is an endless list of must-haves, that is going to be counterproductive? Do you seriously think you cannot get intellectual stimulation from someone that owns a successful construction business? Do you know how hard it is to run a business? That business owner is creating and winning bids for projects, coordinating with architects and subcontractors, maintaining a working knowledge of building codes and basic structural engineering. Do you think that business owner is incapable of doing anything when he comes home other than drinking beer and watching football? If so, then I have to agree with another poster who said you should just save yourself the time and buy some cats.

Well if those are your two criteria, what's the problem? With some exceptions, most people making 70K in the DMV are not highly educated. What makes you think that's the issue where you're concerned? And lol at someone being angry a woman might prefer a well-educated partner when looks are his top criterion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because 90% of the (straight) men out there have such fragile egos that they can’t handle having an significant other who has a fancier degree than they do.


I didn’t go to an Ivy, but possibly a more “intimidating” school, and then I earned a few graduate degrees from very good schools.* SO SO many men out there with chips on their shoulders. Sometimes it doesn’t come out until later, sometimes it comes out within the first five minutes (and this is when the GUY asks where I went to school).

My husband still gets defensive and huffy about it about is the blue (although he hid it for a long time).

You can forestall all that man-baby nonsense if you just have it as a criteria…

*standard disclaimer for the fragile egos out there that I know people with similar degrees who are idiots, and plenty of very smart people without such degrees, as well as plenty of not so smart people without fancy degrees who make significantly more money than smart people with fancy degrees

I’ve never in my life known a man who cares about a woman’s degree(s). At all. It’s just not even remotely on the list for 99% of men. I’d suggest you do some introspection. You seem really bitter and want to blame it on your Masters degree from the Kennedy school? Go get some cats.

This is so weird. Are you a man? Because most men would probably never actually admit to feeling insecure about partnering with somebody more educated or successful than they are. You only know it if you have experienced it. But I experienced it a lot. Actually some did specifically say “woah law school that’s too intimidating for me, haha” like it was a joke. He was, of course, a weirdo, but a lot of men feel the same way even if they don’t admit it to others or even themselves. I mean, why would you tell on yourself like that?

It seem you care about it but men do not care. Plenty of well educated success women have no problem dating and marrying men. Maybe it’s the way you interact with men that is the problem?

Men do care. Even if it was the way I interacted with them that “made them care,” they cared. Not all men of course, DH was just impressed, and as you mentioned lots of successful women get married. But PP is correct in that it’s a thing that happens and if a woman marries somebody who is more highly educated than she, she isn’t going to have to worry about weird resentments popping up later.