Is anyone watching Dirty John tonight? Betty Broderick's story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find what happened to Betty unique at all. It sucked but read DCUM and it’s all the same issues couples face when divorcing about money, custody etc.

What happened TO Betty wasn’t unique, but her over-the-top harassment and the eventual murders was definitely unique. It’s why she has a fan base who write her letters and send her money. There are plenty of women who have been hosed in divorce proceedings by a prominent spouse. Betty did what they’ve thought about doing, but weren’t crazy enough to actually do. Betty said the things they’ve always wanted to say, but didn’t/couldn’t because they were silenced by the legal system, societal expectations, and common sense. She’s a hero for scorned women.

She also single-handedly left her kids without parents. What an incredibly selfish and terrible mom.

Yes and, her husband also was incredibly selfish and a terrible father. The kids were victims of BOTH of their parents.

Parents who don’t kill family members are better than parents who do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

She did that once.

After she realized that she wasn’t getting the kids back, she really had nothing to lose. No house, no kids, no husband.

Yes she got support, but she also had to return most of the award back to Dan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

She did that once.

After she realized that she wasn’t getting the kids back, she really had nothing to lose. No house, no kids, no husband.

Yes she got support, but she also had to return most of the award back to Dan.

It wasn’t just once. There was the time she did when she knew he was out of town but she also did it over time by taking each kid over independently until all where in his care. If she really wanted to have custody, she would not have abandoned her children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

Dan was notorious for being cold and shark-like in court, why he was so successful. He seemed to see Betty as just another opponent to be crushed, and crush her he did. Given his decision to cheat, gaslight, and end the marriage that formed the core of her identity, he should have been more generous and compassionate toward her. I truly believe he'd be alive today if he had done that. A tragedy, above all for those poor children. All four wept through their family impact statements in her last parole hearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

Dan was notorious for being cold and shark-like in court, why he was so successful. He seemed to see Betty as just another opponent to be crushed, and crush her he did. Given his decision to cheat, gaslight, and end the marriage that formed the core of her identity, he should have been more generous and compassionate toward her. I truly believe he'd be alive today if he had done that. A tragedy, above all for those poor children. All four wept through their family impact statements in her last parole hearing.

I think Betty also saw Dan as an opponent to be crushed. That’s why she murdered him. Agree that it’s above all a tragedy for the kids. If she could have just pulled herself together and tried to carry on, those children wouldn’t have lost both their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

Dan was notorious for being cold and shark-like in court, why he was so successful. He seemed to see Betty as just another opponent to be crushed, and crush her he did. Given his decision to cheat, gaslight, and end the marriage that formed the core of her identity, he should have been more generous and compassionate toward her. I truly believe he'd be alive today if he had done that. A tragedy, above all for those poor children. All four wept through their family impact statements in her last parole hearing.

I think Betty also saw Dan as an opponent to be crushed. That’s why she murdered him. Agree that it’s above all a tragedy for the kids. If she could have just pulled herself together and tried to carry on, those children wouldn’t have lost both their parents.

The financial and emotional abuse triggered her latent mental illness (I find the suggestion she has borderline personality disorder very persuasive, unstable ego and immense anger and grief during separation). I believe she was mentally ill and completely irrational by the time she committed the murders, even with the evidence of premeditation. But yes, I agree both were at war and both wanted to win as well. As PP astutely noted, Dan was a far better strategist and won every battle until the last one.

Once she was awarded the 16k, even if it was not entirely fair given the value of the joint assets he kept and money he had hidden, she should have let it go for the sake of her children. I'm just not sure she could have done that without very significant professional therapeutic support. In other words, I see untreated mental illness as being fundamental to this case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

Dan was notorious for being cold and shark-like in court, why he was so successful. He seemed to see Betty as just another opponent to be crushed, and crush her he did. Given his decision to cheat, gaslight, and end the marriage that formed the core of her identity, he should have been more generous and compassionate toward her. I truly believe he'd be alive today if he had done that. A tragedy, above all for those poor children. All four wept through their family impact statements in her last parole hearing.

I think Betty also saw Dan as an opponent to be crushed. That’s why she murdered him. Agree that it’s above all a tragedy for the kids. If she could have just pulled herself together and tried to carry on, those children wouldn’t have lost both their parents.

The financial and emotional abuse triggered her latent mental illness (I find the suggestion she has borderline personality disorder very persuasive, unstable ego and immense anger and grief during separation). I believe she was mentally ill and completely irrational by the time she committed the murders, even with the evidence of premeditation. But yes, I agree both were at war and both wanted to win as well. As PP astutely noted, Dan was a far better strategist and won every battle until the last one.

Once she was awarded the 16k, even if it was not entirely fair given the value of the joint assets he kept and money he had hidden, she should have let it go for the sake of her children. I'm just not sure she could have done that without very significant professional therapeutic support. In other words, I see untreated mental illness as being fundamental to this case.

*16k/month

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

Dan was notorious for being cold and shark-like in court, why he was so successful. He seemed to see Betty as just another opponent to be crushed, and crush her he did. Given his decision to cheat, gaslight, and end the marriage that formed the core of her identity, he should have been more generous and compassionate toward her. I truly believe he'd be alive today if he had done that. A tragedy, above all for those poor children. All four wept through their family impact statements in her last parole hearing.

I think Betty also saw Dan as an opponent to be crushed. That’s why she murdered him. Agree that it’s above all a tragedy for the kids. If she could have just pulled herself together and tried to carry on, those children wouldn’t have lost both their parents.

The financial and emotional abuse triggered her latent mental illness (I find the suggestion she has borderline personality disorder very persuasive, unstable ego and immense anger and grief during separation). I believe she was mentally ill and completely irrational by the time she committed the murders, even with the evidence of premeditation. But yes, I agree both were at war and both wanted to win as well. As PP astutely noted, Dan was a far better strategist and won every battle until the last one.

Once she was awarded the 16k, even if it was not entirely fair given the value of the joint assets he kept and money he had hidden, she should have let it go for the sake of her children. I'm just not sure she could have done that without very significant professional therapeutic support. In other words, I see untreated mental illness as being fundamental to this case.

+1. Yes, I agree with a lot of this. One thing though: If the murders were largely due to Betty’s mental illness, I would have thought that at some point down the road she would have shown real remorse. (Unless her mental illness has just continued unabated this whole time?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

Dan was notorious for being cold and shark-like in court, why he was so successful. He seemed to see Betty as just another opponent to be crushed, and crush her he did. Given his decision to cheat, gaslight, and end the marriage that formed the core of her identity, he should have been more generous and compassionate toward her. I truly believe he'd be alive today if he had done that. A tragedy, above all for those poor children. All four wept through their family impact statements in her last parole hearing.

I think Betty also saw Dan as an opponent to be crushed. That’s why she murdered him. Agree that it’s above all a tragedy for the kids. If she could have just pulled herself together and tried to carry on, those children wouldn’t have lost both their parents.

The financial and emotional abuse triggered her latent mental illness (I find the suggestion she has borderline personality disorder very persuasive, unstable ego and immense anger and grief during separation). I believe she was mentally ill and completely irrational by the time she committed the murders, even with the evidence of premeditation. But yes, I agree both were at war and both wanted to win as well. As PP astutely noted, Dan was a far better strategist and won every battle until the last one.

Once she was awarded the 16k, even if it was not entirely fair given the value of the joint assets he kept and money he had hidden, she should have let it go for the sake of her children. I'm just not sure she could have done that without very significant professional therapeutic support. In other words, I see untreated mental illness as being fundamental to this case.

+1. Yes, I agree with a lot of this. One thing though: If the murders were largely due to Betty’s mental illness, I would have thought that at some point down the road she would have shown real remorse. (Unless her mental illness has just continued unabated this whole time?)

My understanding is that she's never received treatment just a NPD diagnosis, but borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits seems more likely. BPD was not well understood in the 1980s but how does this not fit her to a tee?

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
Unstable relationships. ...
Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
Self-harm. ...
Extreme emotional swings. ...
Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
Explosive anger.


She was also clearly depressed--not sleeping and overeating.

The remorse question is really a critical one. As the victim of abuse (now understood to include psychological, financial, and legal abuse not just physical) she may struggle with this. But I understand why the parole board won't release her since she should, decades later, be able to concede that murder is wrong NO MATTER HOW AWFULLY THEY TREATED HER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly, if it wasn't for the murders the trial would have never taken place and thus, none of us would have heard of her and she would have continued to suffer in silence. Half of her legal problems were due to her own actions and if she would have just accepted the facts, she would have had a fair outcome in the divorce. Unfortunately, she wanted more than what she was legally entitled to, was too stubborn to listen, and annoying enough to push her friends away when she needed them the most.

We was due more than she received. Most of all a home and full custody of her children. They were cared for by housekeepers because Dan was vindictive.

Dan didn’t take away the kids. Betty kept leaving the kids at his house thinking she would punish him. She chose to keep the kids away to play sick games. When they didn’t work she then cried and complained that he kept them from her.

+1. If Betty really wanted lots of custody of her kids, she made horrible choices. I suspect she was playing the game just like Dan was; what sucked for her was that Dan was better at it. It came down to the point that the only way she could “win” was to kill him.

THIS.

Dan was notorious for being cold and shark-like in court, why he was so successful. He seemed to see Betty as just another opponent to be crushed, and crush her he did. Given his decision to cheat, gaslight, and end the marriage that formed the core of her identity, he should have been more generous and compassionate toward her. I truly believe he'd be alive today if he had done that. A tragedy, above all for those poor children. All four wept through their family impact statements in her last parole hearing.

I think Betty also saw Dan as an opponent to be crushed. That’s why she murdered him. Agree that it’s above all a tragedy for the kids. If she could have just pulled herself together and tried to carry on, those children wouldn’t have lost both their parents.

The financial and emotional abuse triggered her latent mental illness (I find the suggestion she has borderline personality disorder very persuasive, unstable ego and immense anger and grief during separation). I believe she was mentally ill and completely irrational by the time she committed the murders, even with the evidence of premeditation. But yes, I agree both were at war and both wanted to win as well. As PP astutely noted, Dan was a far better strategist and won every battle until the last one.

Once she was awarded the 16k, even if it was not entirely fair given the value of the joint assets he kept and money he had hidden, she should have let it go for the sake of her children. I'm just not sure she could have done that without very significant professional therapeutic support. In other words, I see untreated mental illness as being fundamental to this case.

+1. Yes, I agree with a lot of this. One thing though: If the murders were largely due to Betty’s mental illness, I would have thought that at some point down the road she would have shown real remorse. (Unless her mental illness has just continued unabated this whole time?)

My understanding is that she's never received treatment just a NPD diagnosis, but borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits seems more likely. BPD was not well understood in the 1980s but how does this not fit her to a tee?

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
Unstable relationships. ...
Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
Self-harm. ...
Extreme emotional swings. ...
Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
Explosive anger.


She was also clearly depressed--not sleeping and overeating.

The remorse question is really a critical one. As the victim of abuse (now understood to include psychological, financial, and legal abuse not just physical) she may struggle with this. But I understand why the parole board won't release her since she should, decades later, be able to concede that murder is wrong NO MATTER HOW AWFULLY THEY TREATED HER.

One interesting thing about BPD is it's the rare personality disorder that normally gets better with age. So it didn't surprise me to read that she's passed whatever prison-administered psych tests she was given recently. Also agree the remorse issue is critical. In the last parole hearing she did express remorse for the first time but it did not read as sincere since it followed a diatribe about the abuse and mental distress she experienced. Lack of remorse is why two of her kids think she shouldn't get out. As much as I sympathize with what she went through, I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it on Netflix?

Yes. Hard to watch though. I could only get through about half then skipped to the end. Amanda Peet gives a great performance but watching someone unravel so completely was painful.

I would be so pissed if anyone drove a car into my house. Cannot believe the support for BB.

Am I misremembering, but wasn’t it her house, too? Like Dan tricked her into moving out of their joint marital home into a temporary house while their primary house was being renovated or something, filed, and then moved into the house that was theirs with his new wife? Or was it that he tricked her into moving out, sold their old home, and bought a new one? And then he had her committed.

It was only Dan’s house, after she moved into the fixer upper in La Jolla.

But I read she had to leave the La Jolla house and move into a condo rental because of all the financial disputes. She signed the condo over to her FWB when she was arrested. I think the "murder house" was the property he bought for Linda to live in while he was tricking Betty into leaving the family house, which he then sold against her wishes. he had it all planned out.

I think that’s right. I mean, I wouldn’t actually drive my car into the house, but I’d certainly want to if my former spouse and coparent whom I’d supported all through the lean years did that to me. What a complete evil d***. Just give her the house and half the money and move out with your side piece if you’re really just trying to get out. But he wasn’t. He wanted to destroy her. He probably thought he’d get her to kill herself. Bet that was his endgame. He figured wrong.