Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is pretty insane. I don't know anyone in my VHCOL area who considers 450K middle class - while that might not be wealthy per se, it is definitely upper middle class and above. I also know very few people with that income who have "cushy and secure" jobs. SMDH.

Upper middle is still part of the middle class.

There's still a distinction there. Middle is not the same as upper middle. I'd go even further and say that 450K is probably low end of wealthy, again, for my VHCOL area that is more expensive than DC/DMV.

Really? I wouldn't. To be frank, 450 is middle middle in NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care what other people do as long as they aren't total assholes like the PP engineer who thinks she is so high and mighty with her 200k salary. Give me a break.

However, we have found that having a SAHP is a nice extra to have. It elevates our lifestyle as a whole, much like the "divide and conquer" PP said. But I wouldn't do it if my spouse didn't make more than 500k. It's a luxury at that point, not a drag.

She is 10 times the woman you are. She’s setting a wonderful example for the girls of tomorrow while you are making daddy’s martini.

Uh wrong. Any woman who goes around calling other women worthless for taking care of their own children is a c*nt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Ok I wouldn't have said it like this because it's mean but yes. I cringed at that too.

Hi, I’m the pp you’re referring to!

I never said it was the money that makes me superior. I just can’t imagine feeling fulfilled in life doing...well nothing. I’m sure you get to travel and shop but you are kind of worthless (in my view).

Again I would never say this to your face.

I’m cringing for you.

+ 1

I guess we see how she rates her children though! It's "worthless" to spend time with them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you are a working mom, do you feel superior to SAHM moms? It's just something I have always wondered.

Since this is anonymous, yes I do. I would never tell you to your face though.

Ditto, and I would also never say it out loud IRL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you are a working mom, do you feel superior to SAHM moms? It's just something I have always wondered.

Since this is anonymous, yes I do. I would never tell you to your face though.

What is your job? And how much do you make?

I’m an engineer. I make roughly $210k

Why do you feel superior?

Bc I feel like stay at homes live small lives.

What makes your life "bigger" in your opinion?
Also, what is your husband's salary?

NP - you’ve illustrated one reason I feel superior. I don’t obsess about my DH’s income or career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Why do you think she feels superior because of her salary? Maybe it’s something else entirely?

Why are you obsessed with salaries?

[Anonymous]

Do you have to work to maintain your lifestyle?

[Anonymous]

I was also an engineer at a major tech firm who stepped back to take care of our kid until they start elementary school. I’m the same person with the same education and degree except I am out of the workforce for about 5 years out of 50 in my lifetime to stay home with my kid when he is little because it makes sense with my husbands career. I really don’t think I’ll be in my deathbed regretting the half a decade I took off. It’s a person choice. Are some of you planning to never retire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Ok I wouldn't have said it like this because it's mean but yes. I cringed at that too.

Hi, I’m the pp you’re referring to!

I never said it was the money that makes me superior. I just can’t imagine feeling fulfilled in life doing...well nothing. I’m sure you get to travel and shop but you are kind of worthless (in my view).

Again I would never say this to your face.

Sorry I should t have said worthless. You’re worth the $50k a year I pay for childcare.

It might be worth doing some soul searching to figure out why your value as a human is so tied to your income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also an engineer at a major tech firm who stepped back to take care of our kid until they start elementary school. I’m the same person with the same education and degree except I am out of the workforce for about 5 years out of 50 in my lifetime to stay home with my kid when he is little because it makes sense with my husbands career. I really don’t think I’ll be in my deathbed regretting the half a decade I took off. It’s a person choice. Are some of you planning to never retire?

According to some of this people, you’re literally worthless if you’re not bringing any money in.

Brainwashed by capitalism 🤑

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Ok I wouldn't have said it like this because it's mean but yes. I cringed at that too.

Hi, I’m the pp you’re referring to!

I never said it was the money that makes me superior. I just can’t imagine feeling fulfilled in life doing...well nothing. I’m sure you get to travel and shop but you are kind of worthless (in my view).

Again I would never say this to your face.

I’m cringing for you.

+ 1

I guess we see how she rates her children though! It's "worthless" to spend time with them!

I agree, but I also have pity for her. I find a lot of ppl in this area (men and women) who define themselves by their jobs. It is the one thing I hate about this area. I grew up on the W Coast where people actually have conversations rather than asking what you do/who you know and losing all interest if you can’t help them somehow. It’s great to have a job that you love, but it’s just as bad to pin all your self worth on your career as it is on your kids. There has to be a balance and you have to be someone outside of work, ideally with a loving family and community involvement. And judging by the vitriol she’s spouting, I’m going to guess she doesn’t have that balance. Sad! I hope for her kids’ sake that they have other positive influences in their lives...

[Anonymous]

I’m privileged to be a WOHM. I have a flexible job, a partner who prioritizes spending time with his wife and children, a wonderful nanny, and parents who live nearby and help out when needed. If I didn’t have any of those things then I would have to quit and be a SAHM. I hope the upcoming recession doesn’t change any of those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the first time (other than short maternity leaves) that I’ve ever been able to stay home with my kids. I’m happier, DH is happier, I think my kids are the happiest I’ve ever seen them. Having to stay home and live simply these weeks have made me think we can give up some luxuries that my salary allows to have and still be happy. My friends are expressing similar sentiments and trying to find ways to make it work. Do you think we’ll see a resurgence of SAHM after this?

OP, I don't think that what you're experiencing now can really be analogized to what things would be like if you stayed at home. What is different now: (1) for those of us who can easily telework, we could have done it before but now we HAVE to do it so we can do it with NO JUDGMENT. that won't be true after COVID quarantines end. (2) all the activities are shut down. It's easy to say that you enjoy the time at home when no one else is doing anything, but I don't think not working is really what makes things simpler or not. It's cutting out activities, cutting out travel, cutting out driving kids to 3 activities a week. In a non-COVID world, staying at home can actually increase the pressure on the SAH parent to take kids to MORE stuff. So not as cut and dried as you might assume.

We actually moved to a higher-income suburb from where we were in DC and I totally regret that aspect of it. I thought we would have all this time with neighborhood kids just hanging around. Nope, everyone is always going to lessons or camps or international family travel. That plus the longer commute means that people are just losing those couple extra hours a day that mean the difference between relaxing and frenetic rushing. I do think that European countries that have 4-6weeks vacation for everyone have gotten this right. Everyone just needs some low-key chill family time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Why do you think she feels superior because of her salary? Maybe it’s something else entirely?

Why are you obsessed with salaries?

Because most working moms work because they need the money or want it to live their current lifestyle. Period. At the same time, they can serve as a awesome role model for their kids and be passionate about what they do but it's ingenuine to act like that isn't the primary reason for working. Pretty much half of the workforce, men or women would quit their jobs, retire early and do something different if they won the lottery tomorrow. Maybe 1 in 10 would stay in their current position in a situation where they came into a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Would most people quit if they won the lottery? Yes.


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